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Takumi stumbled out of his bed, clad in the hoodie he wore the previous night. He was feeling oddly groggy- like he'd overslept, or not slept enough. He'd lost track of when he'd gone to bed, so it was hard to tell. It hardly made much sense to him anyway.
All he remembered was a dream- a dream of him wandering in the complex, talking to himself as he is wont to do. A strangely vivid dream. Or was it really him walking around? He wasn't even sure, the days blurred for so long. The nights, too.
Under the false light of this empty world, it often felt as if they would never end.
—
"It's about time. Your father already left for work."
In the haze of his second long yawn, Takumi stumbled into the kitchen, still not quite awake despite his mother calling him. So he began to stretch a little in the hopes that it would help- at the least it soothed his body. It didn't feel bad. Maybe that groggy feeling was starting to ease, at least enough for him to get a start on the day.
That was, until he moved his gaze to catch Karua eating at the table, and his expression abruptly hardened.
"Mornin', sleepyhead!" Karua said through a mouthful of food.
Great. Now he felt embarrassed- even humiliated - at the thought of Karua seeing him like this.
"Don't 'morning' me," he snapped at his visitor, pulling up a chair to sit. "What are you doing helping yourself to breakfast? This isn't even your house."
"C'mon, it's not such a big deal," Karua leaned back in nonchalance as she relished her meal. With the conversation away from his habitual sleepiness, Takumi relaxed a little from the intrusion, only to tense up again as soon as his mother spoke.
"She's right you know. You and Karua have known each other for so long, she's practically one of the family!" She paused for a moment, and with a beat, she smirked at them. "I don't know why you two don't just get married and make it official already!"
"HUH!?" Karua sputtered in alarm, looking up at her. Her eyes were wide.
Takumi immediately rose from his chair, irritated. "What are you going on about!? Don't be stupid!"
His mother's face didn't change, though she levelled her cheeky expression at him before she turned to the other side of the room. Takumi's tenseness took a moment to subside, before he could sit back down and, however slowly, continue to eat his meal.
What in the hell, he thought. This again?
It's not like she did this all the time, so when she did it always caught him off-guard and left both him and Karua at a loss for words. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Karua- it was too early to be thinking about marriage seriously, and… he didn't want to. He couldn't do it. Think of her, like that? Of course he had curious feelings since he was becoming a teenager, but he thought he put that all aside a long time ago.
Or… he thought he did. Takumi grimaced- there was some inkling, a memory, but it felt like his mind was locking down, his thoughts freezing up left and right. He couldn't think. Was he trying to think? His head felt clouded- empty, yet somehow stressed.
At a loss, Takumi took another bite, and it helped him come back to himself. The taste and mouthfeel was nice, as always. But complimenting his mother when she's in one of her meddlesome moods, was going to be a pain. And now, he didn't much feel like talking.
"Mmm, these eggs are delicious!" Karua beamed, snuggling her hand to her face. Thankfully, Karua filled in for him. Though she had barrelled ahead of him, eating more than he had- she often had quite the appetite, did Karua. At least she was in a good mood.
He stared blankly, picking through his own meal. "You sure are putting them away…"
"I can't help it," she grinned. "Your mom's such a great cook!"
"Thank you dear," the mother turned around to smile at Karua. "You saying that really makes it worth the effort!"
With frustration, and then guilt gnawing at the back of his head, Takumi looked down, and changed the subject. "So, what about your mom? Did she… make it home yesterday?"
Karua looked crestfallen. "No… she's been too busy with her research lately."
"Huh…" At least she was only busy, he supposed, and not…
"Your mother's really something," his mother piped up before he could finish the meandering thought- whatever it was anyway. "Raising a daughter all on her own while juggling a full-time job can't be easy for her."
Karua nodded with a firm, tight smile. "I guess so…"
Takumi paused, his expression widened- he could sense the cracks in her mask. He closed his eyes. "Well, it's not like I mind when you come over. Just… let me know first, okay?"
On hearing that, Karua brightened more. "Sure!"
"Come by any time you want. Morning, noon or night." Takumi's mother added on, and then turned to smile at Karua. "We'll always be happy to see our sweet Karua!" She feigned dramatically as she passed the kitchen table. "Honestly, I really wanted a daughter!"
Takumi looked up from eating, and followed her movements as she walked away. He stared hard in disbelief, and looked down at the table. "A…am I not wanted…" he mumbled.
He thought he misheard her, or her wording was off-kilter… but now his mood was shot. His expression turned bitter, the longer he lingered on those words. Though he had to remind himself, that this wasn't about him- she was praising Karua, for being the daughter she really wanted. It was an offering to her as a second mother. It's not like she said Takumi was a bad son, or that she didn't really want him. She didn't.
She didn't.
"Thank you ma'am!" Karua chirped brightly. Lowering her voice, she spoke to Takumi. "And thank you Takky. You're great too, you know...?"
"Y… yeah, sure…" Takumi rose from his thoughts, and mulled over the words. But all he could do was stare absently ahead as he fumbled over the last of his meal.
He… was, was he?
—
The pair continued to eat in silence, until Takumi absconded, mumbling that his jacket was hung upstairs. Karua looked ahead after him with concern in her eyes- he didn't seem to be in any mood to talk, so she didn't push him. That usually ended poorly.
Soon, she excused herself from the table as Takumi stumbled downstairs, with his jacket pulled over him. She waved goodbye to his mother while his eyes were still cast down.
Karua gritted her teeth in frustration, trying to be quiet. She knew his mother didn't mean badly, but it was still hard to address the situation. She didn't want to come off as ungrateful, or to make things even more complicated. The two of them could be surprisingly headstrong, she thought. Stubborn to the last. Karua doubted that she or Takumi would even listen if she mentioned the issue with the mood that morning.
But now she was starting to feel rotten in her core, like she was dirty for thinking this way. It always seemed to feel like that, where Takumi and his mother was concerned. It was just an inkling that gnawed under her skin. Wasn't it really nothing? Wasn't she just overthinking again? That wasn't really fair of her, was it?
She needed a distraction. And as it happened, there were… more pressing issues regarding their future, and soon, she would have to break the silence about it.
"Aw man," she feigned, "we've got that big test coming up soon. What a drag…"
"What are you complaining about," Takumi snarked at her. "I've never seen you take a test that you didn't ace."
Karua let past a small smile- good. He didn't notice, and he took the bait with his reactions again. It was better than nothing.
"It's just a matter of studying hard enough," she continued, and then found herself actually feeling a little wistful. "…Mom likes it when I get good grades." She paused in thought. Good grades…? Something to resolve the issues between them? Of course! She suddenly lit up with an idea. "Hey, we should do a study session! We'll ace the test together and make both our moms happy!"
That would work, wouldn't it? It did before, when she stayed over in the past to keep him working. Except she could use more of that energy for herself, and keep him much more motivated too.
Takumi looked down in a sad smile, looking like he was about to retreat again. "I don't think I'll be good enough..."
"You'll be just fine, Takky!" Karua wasn't going to have it. Not this time. She pulled in front of him, and radiated her positive energy in a few steps and hearty gestures. At a time like this, what he needed the most was encouragement.
"You can do it if you try. I guarantee it!"
Takumi's eyes widened at her flourish, and he turned away from her to stare into the distance. Karua didn't know what to make of that faraway expression, it was like he wasn't even there, for a moment. Soon enough, his smile returned to her, becoming a cheeky grin. "Well… maybe you're right!" His grin widened, and he lifted his bag over his shoulder to march ahead. "With enough lucky guesses, I can fudge my way to a passing grade no problem!"
Karua sighed a little as she watched him go. There was that stubbornness she was afraid of. "That's not exactly the positive outlook I was looking for... at this rate, we're gonna have a long way to go…"
Still, as she bumped into Takumi from behind, he responded to her play with a startled stare, before relaxing again. He seemed to smile, which was a little forced at first, but then he turned to smile at her more warmly. It seemed that she had reached him after all. Karua smiled brightly in turn, knowing he would be all right.
They were going to be all right, too… if only things stayed the same.