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Lohen doesn't mind pain. Which is a good thing! It means he’s much more useful in battles, withstanding the pain of injuries means you can continue to fight even after being injured. That is how he views it at least.
Sure it can lead to him neglecting the limits of his body, but that never ends up being too much of an issue most of the time, it’s better than succumbing to the pain and being completely useless, plus others might get hurt when he can’t fight. So, the pros overcome the cons in the end, why would it be a bad thing?
It’s simply just pain resistance, nothing more, it’s a positive trait of Lohen. He even takes pride in it to some extent. He managed to get rid of his allergy to dandelions with pure exposure to the negative symptoms, which just proves his point further, nothing to worry about.
Maybe that resistance has shifted somewhat into enjoyment, but nothing negative about that either, he just savors the feeling of pain in his injuries, it’s not like he would purposely injure himself.
Pain just calms him down, making him feel more connected to himself in some weird way. There is nothing wrong with enjoying it, people enjoy drinking while it’s not always good for someone and still no one considers it unhealthy or something negative, so why should his enjoyment of pain?
It also gets his mind off things, exterior worries can easily be blurred out when you have a stinging on your body making you be present in the moment, nowhere else, just in the present.
There are many positives of pain, he doesn’t consider it an uncomfortable feeling anymore. A lot of people view his recklessness and even enjoyment of fighting and the pain that comes with it as unusual, even uneasy and unsettling, but he just considers it his way of dealing with things, similar to how others deal with them by drinking.
Nonetheless, he started to want to feel pain more frequently, he found himself fighting just to get hurt at some point. Maybe it was starting to become unusual… nothing to worry about though, it’s not like any of the pain is serious. A few scratches and bruises do not do any harm, he can fight completely fine with them.
Not being able to fight unsettled him, he doesn’t like being able to drift off somewhere and feel like he isn’t in the present with his mind and thoughts. It’s weird, sometimes he can miss hours or even days, it’s like he time travelled because he was barely conscious, his body just on autopilot. Pain avoided that, pain forced him to stay aware and keep his thoughts from drifting away.
It kept getting worse. It's like he has to constantly feel pain in order to feel like himself, but he cannot fight all the time and get injured while doing so. It was really annoying and just a nuisance, he cannot do proper work if he keeps losing focus and awareness.
He found himself being drawn to his dagger from time to time, he kept at his side at all times, he could easily just inflict pain on himself instead of making enemies do that work. But that is where a concerning line would be crossed right? but is there a difference between letting someone do the work or just doing it himself?
After all, it would still be the same. It’s nothing bad, it’s just like drinking, why would harming himself be any different than that? Plus, it’s not like anyone other than him has to know, he doesn’t consider it a problem that could disturb his productivity as a knight so it wouldn’t be a problem to anyone.
The more he thought about it, debating the cons and pros the more he just concluded more pros than cons, it wouldn’t be a disturbance to his performance quite the opposite actually. He would be more present in the moment, meaning he can think more clearly and support the planning and strategy as well as productive fighting, even paper work.
He found himself sitting on his bed, his mind foggy like it likes to be, he still has to do some paper work. It wouldn’t hurt to test his theory, it can result positively afterall… if what he concluded was correct then there shouldn’t even be any cons really. Sure he would feel pain, but that was the whole point of it, plus he likes the feeling. So, why shouldn’t he do it? He cannot think of a good reason against it.
Next thing he knows a cut formed on his arm, nothing bad. a bit of blood dripping down not more than that. But even that alone caused his mind to clear up so much more, it was so refreshing. The sight of crimson blood dripping down from his wound only fueled his attraction to the sight of the cut.
Now that his mind was clear, he could focus. He could finish that annoying paperwork finally, standing up and walking to his desk he started working through the papers, the sweet sting of the cut grounding him. His test was a success, it helped a lot and he cannot conclude any negative outcome from it, he should do it more often.
His arms gained more and more cuts over the time, nothing serious. All of the cuts were mere cuts similar to cat scratches, just enough to keep that fog out of his mind and keep him in the present. He found himself more alive again, being able to socialize like he could before the death of Adorno instead of having his senses all blurred and usually not being fully there in conversations.
Perhaps the switch in attitude was noticed by other knights and citizens, but they would just view it as accepting the loss of someone, finally being able to stop griefing and accept his death. Well, in reality he was merely avoiding thinking about it, but it is nothing different from what all the knights do when they drink. He isn’t doing anything wrong, he would even consider his method much more productive.
Alcohol makes you unable to fight and function, making you useless for a while. The method he uses causes the complete opposite effect, it makes him more useful. In conclusion, he isn’t doing anything bad that could cause trouble to anyone, it’s just his way of coping, everyone has their own ways in that.
Even if his arms are full of scars, they can be considered battle scars can they not? They exist so he can be more productive in battle and even outside of it, he should take pride in them if anything.
Even if he starts doing it everyday, even if he does it for no reason whatsoever at times, it doesn’t do any real harm. It’s his method of dealing with things, with grounding himself.
It doesn’t affect others, why would they be bothered.