Archive of Our Own

—1—

“You’re sure this is it?” Maddox asked, peering out the window of his car and giving Hongjoong a searching look as he collected his bag from the footwell.

Hongjoong bit back the shame that threatened to crawl up his throat. He knew it looked bad, and normally he would have never let Maddox or any of his friends anywhere near discovering what Hongjoong had been doing to make rent, but Maddox had insisted on driving Hongjoong home today. He'd been offering to do so for a while now, and today unfortunately turned out to be the one day Hongjoong couldn’t find the strength to turn him down again, so here they were. Hongjoong wouldn’t be surprised if he later found out that having someone drive him home from the studio was some scheme to find out what he’d been up to. Not that Hongjoong was going to let them find out, but he guessed this did give a clue.

After all, who else but a vampire would ask to meet in the middle of a park, in a notoriously coven-dominated part of the city, three hours after sundown?

“Yeah, thanks, hyung.” Hongjoong said, pushing open the door of Maddox’s car and being momentarily stopped when Maddox briefly reached out to tug on Hongjoong’s bag. Hongjoong turned back to raise an eyebrow at him.

“Is the friend you’re meeting here planning on driving you home?” Maddox asked, and Hongjoong focused all his energy on not giving any of his nerves away. He knew this was Maddox’s way of trying to get Hongjoong to tell him to stay, or at the very least to come back, but Hongjoong couldn’t afford that risk. It would give too much of the game away if Hongjoong told Maddox exactly how long he’d be gone, nevermind let Maddox drive him home after the fact when he’d probably still be a bit disoriented from blood loss and venom.

“Yes.” Hongjoong lied smoothly, swinging his bag around to rest on his hip so Maddox couldn’t reach out and use it to stop him again. “We’re just meeting here because he works nearby, then he’s taking me to his apartment.”

There were about a million holes in that story, and by the frown on Maddox’s face Hongjoong knew he’d caught at least a couple of them, but he graciously decided not to call Hongjoong out or ask any questions. “Text me in the morning, yeah?”

“Of course, hyung.” Hongjoong promised, giving Maddox what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Stay safe.” Maddox said. His tone was light enough, but Hongjoong could tell by the way his gaze kept darting between Hongjoong and the vacant park that he really was worried. “Eden will kill me if I have to find a new producer when we’re this busy.”

“Not that you could ever replace me.” Hongjoong teased, and Maddox shook his head fondly.

“Not easily, I’ll tell you that.” He agreed. “Goodnight, Hongjoong-ah.”

“Goodnight, hyung.” Hongjoong said, stepping back and closing the door of Maddox’s car in one swift push. He turned around to start walking, but was purposefully slow with his steps until he could hear Maddox’s car drive away. He looked back over his shoulder a few times to make sure he was really gone, and then immediately picked up the pace. He hoped he wouldn’t be too late after that. Hongjoong had met with vampires before who were really strict about him showing up on time, and would either pay him less or take more blood than they were supposed to if he didn’t. Something about busy schedules. Hongjoong had snapped once, at a vampire who tried to tell him off that way, saying that he also had a busy schedule. All that had gotten him was the vampire taking way too much blood and completely abandoning him in an alleyway when he was still too dazed to defend himself if anyone found him there. Luckily, no one had, and he’d made it back home safe, but Hongjoong had learned his lesson pretty quickly.

Hongjoong's eyes caught on a tall silhouette standing beneath one of the central streetlights and a jolt of anxiety sprinted through his blood stream. He quickly checked his phone, slowing down in relief when he saw there were still four minutes until their proposed meeting time. He tried to speed up soon after though. Early was sometimes better, even, than on-time, and Hongjoong still didn’t know what to expect from this vampire.

Hongjoong had never met him before, or any of his coven, if the information he’d been given was trustworthy. Sometimes it wasn’t, even though the agency Hongjoong gave blood through boasted about how it was the safest of them. Hongjoong had been caught off-guard enough times to know that “safest” wasn’t exactly clearing a high bar, especially when it was still pretty common for older vampires to see humans as bloodbags and nothing but. On paper, Hongjoong got just enough information on the vampires he fed to know he theoretically could make a report if anything went wrong, but he also knew that many vampires got pretty testy about sharing any information about themselves. Nine times out of ten, Hongjoong couldn’t even be sure that the name he got was a real one. On multiple occasions he’d expected to meet up with a new vampire and instead been met with someone he fed only a couple weeks ago, which was always awkward on both sides.

When Hongjoong got close enough to make out the vampire as more than a shadowy figure, it became pretty clear that this wasn’t one of those cases, which did ease some of Hongjoong’s nerves. This vampire was, in fact, one Hongjoong had never seen before.

Regrettably, the first thing that Hongjoong noticed about him was that he was extremely gorgeous. It wasn’t uncommon for vampires to be pretty, Hongjoong guessed, it was about the same rate as humans, but this one stuck out. He was so beautiful it almost seemed fake, but he didn’t have any of the obvious trademarks of the beauty spells some people used. He was genuinely ethereal.

Hongjoong dug his nails into his palm briefly to keep from thinking about that for too long. He needed to keep his head on straight. Just because this vampire was attractive did not mean he’d be a good person, and Hongjoong wasn’t going to let himself be taken advantage of.

He cleared his throat as he got in range of the vampire, who looked up and gave Hongjoong a polite smile, tucking his phone into the small purse at his side. “Ah, you must be Hongjoong.”

“You must be Seonghwa.” Hongjoong said, a little surprised when the vampire stuck out a hand for a shake. It should have been telling, but honestly Hongjoong couldn’t make heads or tails of it as he set his bag on the bench nearby and reached out to reciprocate. The formality screamed older vampire, but most older vampires disliked touching humans in any way that wasn’t strictly necessary for feeding. Younger, then. Maybe he was newly turned, and he didn’t know how these feedings tended to work yet. Hongjoong didn’t know why he’d be alone out here if that were the case. He’d fed a couple fledglings before, and all of them had at least one older coven member with them to make sure it went smoothly. Hongjoong had come to anticipate the "safety net," even if the supervision was never exactly for his sake. The time he’d nearly been killed by an overly-excitable fledgling whose sire didn’t step in until Hongjoong tried to fight back was proof enough of that.

“I apologize for the meeting spot.” Seonghwa said, glancing around the empty park. “I would have offered somewhere indoors, but this seemed like the safest place.”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow at that, but shook it off. Hongjoong had heard weirder ‘safety’ concerns from vampires before. Hongjoong never really got it. What would a being who could literally kill Hongjoong in a few seconds have to worry about safety? But he’d long since stopped questioning it aloud. “It’s fine. This is hardly the weirdest place I’ve been told to meet a vampire.”

Seonghwa frowned. “Really?”

“You’d be shocked how many sketchy alleyways and abandoned buildings I’ve been sent to.” Hongjoong said. He was surprised when Seonghwa only looked more…what, concerned? It didn’t really seem right, but Hongjoong couldn’t tell what else that expression could be. “Anyway, here’s fine.”

“Alright.” Seonghwa said, awkwardly glancing around like he was still self-conscious about the park meeting spot.

“Neck or wrist?” Hongjoong asked after he couldn’t stand the awkward silence any more. Seonghwa looked back at him, puzzled.

“Wrist.” Seonghwa said, still staring at Hongjoong like he had a second head. “You really let people drink from your neck?”

It was Hongjoong’s turn to be confused, eyebrow raising. “Yes? Lots of vampires say it’s more comfortable.”

“Well, yes, but—” Seonghwa started, cutting himself off and looking at Hongjoong again. Hongjoong was beginning to think this was Seonghwa’s first time drinking from a human in this manner. That, or he was extremely sheltered about all of this. “Wrist is fine.”

Hongjoong extended his wrist hesitantly, still unsure what to make of Seonghwa. Usually he could get at least enough of a read on the vampires he fed to know how alert to be, but Hongjoong was completely lost. The way Seonghwa seemed like he was having to force himself through this interaction did nothing to help that, nor did the way he kept looking at Hongjoong like he was trying to make sure he was doing this right. Hongjoong couldn’t do anything but look back, getting steadily more and more uneasy. He wasn’t supposed to be the one coaching, he had no idea how this actually worked. He’d picked things up along the way, but he was hardly an expert, and he definitely wasn’t enough of an expert to help someone who was seeming more and more like a fledgling through what might be their first feeding. Where the hell was Seonghwa’s sire?

Eventually Seonghwa put the both of them out of their awkward misery and bit down, and Hongjoong felt the familiar prick of fangs digging into his flesh, followed quickly by the numbing of the venom. Hongjoong was surprised by Seonghwa’s decorum, his manner changing as soon as he actually bit into Hongjoong. He was perfectly clean about it, methodical. He certainly didn’t feast like a fledgling, which only threw Hongjoong’s earlier assumptions even further into wack. Seonghwa was actually more careful about his drinking than some of the identifiably older vampires Hongjoong had fed.

Seonghwa pulled away at precisely the moment Hongjoong felt his head start to get the kind of fuzzy it usually did when vampires were supposed to stop. He’d had the science of it explained to him once by one very annoying vampire who’d decided to stick around while Hongjoong reoriented himself and talk at him the whole time, but he couldn’t exactly remember much from that experience other than the deep displeasure of having someone chatting at him while he felt like he was about two seconds from passing out. It was another piece of evidence for Seonghwa being an experienced vampire. At this point, Hongjoong was sure he’d never figure out what exactly Seonghwa had going on, but at least it was over with now.

Hongjoong was startled slightly when he felt hands start pushing against his chest, throwing out his hands to try and smack them away. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you sit?” Seonghwa said, eyes widening a little bit after a moment. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I should have asked before I touched you. I promise I was just trying to help you to the bench.”

“I don’t need your help.” Hongjoong didn’t have the energy to hide the scowl that settled on his features as he threw an arm out beside himself to grasp blindly for the bench. It took him a couple of tries but he eventually got his fingers around the wood and pulled himself closer so he could sit down.

“Right, of course. I’m sorry.” Seonghwa said, still standing there. Hongjoong was caught between telling him to leave or ignoring him, and eventually the choice was made for him when a gust of cold wind blew through the park and Hongjoong instinctively ducked his head, curling into himself to protect against it. He wrapped his arms around his middle and hunched over. He could now only see Seonghwa’s legs, and he kept silently hoping that he’d leave on his own. That seemed less likely by the second, and after only a beat Seonghwa crouched down in front of the bench and Hongjoong couldn’t help the annoyed sigh that pulled itself out of him. Seonghwa seemed undettered. “Do you have someone coming to pick you up?”

“No.” Hongjoong mumbled before he could think better of it. Seonghwa’s face blurred in front of his vision. Fuck, he hated this part. He’d never understand how people could get addicted to vampire venom, all it ever did was make him feel weird and lethargic, and usually mess with his eyesight. “Gonna take the bus.”

“The bus?” Seonghwa asked, sounding oddly scandalized by it. “Hongjoong-ssi, does anyone know you’re out here?”

Hongjoong didn’t respond, which apparently was response enough for Seonghwa, who cursed something under his breath. Hongjoong bristled. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem like it. Do you usually get this disoriented by vampire venom?” Seonghwa asked, and Hongjoong groaned in frustration.

“Stop talking.” He grumbled, and Seonghwa, to his credit, stopped pretty quickly. He didn’t leave though. Instead, he started rifling through the little bag he had. He produced what looked like a granola bar and set it carefully on the bench beside Hongjoong’s leg. The bright packaging and brand name swam in front of Hongjoong’s vision and he blinked at it. He looked up at Seonghwa, who had moved so he was sitting a foot away, cross-legged on the sidewalk and looking at something on his phone so he wasn’t staring at Hongjoong anymore. “You’re still here.”

Seonghwa looked up, confused, and just nodded. Hongjoong wanted to tell him to leave, but he didn’t.

“What’s this?” He asked instead, clumsily holding out the bar.

“It’s a protein bar, high in iron. It’s supposed to help with the haze.” Seonghwa explained, and Hongjoong looked down at it again.

“Why do you have it?” He asked.

“I bought it for you.” Seonghwa said, like that made any sense at all. Hongjoong was pretty sure this was the strangest vampire he’d ever fed. Seonghwa frowned at him again. “Should I not have? I know it was sort of presumptuous. It’s not like I knew you’d have trouble with the haze before I got here, I was just covering my bases. You don’t have to eat it.”

Hongjoong stared at Seonghwa, who squirmed a little, though he seemed like he was trying not to. Hongjoong couldn’t help but laugh at him. “You’ve never done this before, have you?”

“Ah, ‘this’ like this service? No, I haven’t.” Seonghwa said, rubbing at the back of his neck. “It is weird, then?”

“Yeah, a little.” Hongjoong said, the wrapper of the bar crinkling as he shifted it around in his hands, looking over it and willing his vision to go back to normal so he could read the words on it. “Most vampires just leave once they’re done feeding.”

“Oh.” Seonghwa said. Less like he was self-conscious about that and more like he found it disconcerting somehow. “Do you want me to leave?”

Hongjoong flipped the bar over in his hands again. Did he want Seonghwa to leave? He wasn’t really sure. He thought he did. He huffed in annoyance. “What the hell does this say?”

“What?” Seonghwa asked, before seeming to register what he was talking about and getting up to come closer. “Can you not read it?”

“No. My vision gets all fucked up for a bit after…cause of the whole…uh, whatever you called it, the haze?” Hongjoong said, holding the bar out. “What’s in this?”

“Your vision gets messed up?” Seonghwa asked.

“Yeah, it happens.” Hongjoong shrugged, squinting at a little pink blob on the packaging. “Is that a strawberry?”

“Yeah, it’s strawberry flavored.” Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong nodded, trying to read the words again. “Your vision is always this bad during the haze?”

“Not always.” Hongjoong said, which was technically true. There had been a couple times his vision didn't get messed up, but those were few and far between. “But most of the time, yeah. It’s normal.”

“Hm.” Seonghwa said, like he didn’t really believe that. “Do you want me to read you the wrapper?”

“I asked you that like four times.” Hongjoong said, but he couldn’t find the effort to put heat behind it, just handing over the bar. Seonghwa sat beside him on the bench, a good distance away which Hongjoong appreciated, and started reading what seemed like every tiny piece of text on the thing. Hongjoong laughed when Seonghwa started reading out what sounded like the copyright information, and the smile he received in response was stupidly pretty. Seonghwa’s teeth were annoyingly white for having just fed. Hongjoong swiped for the bar. “Okay, okay, just as long as it’s not poisoned.”

“It isn’t.” Seonghwa said, hand over his heart. Hongjoong nodded, ripping the wrapper open and taking a bite. The artificial strawberry flavor was a bit much, but Hongjoong had definitely had worse protein bars, and for being so packed with iron it only tasted a little metallic.

Seonghwa went back to sitting quietly as Hongjoong ate, and Hongjoong took the silence in stride. Only a couple minutes after finishing the bar he found he did feel distinctly less out of it than he usually did after this much time. He started reading over the wrapper just to prove to himself he could, and while his vision still skipped around now and then, he could read most of it. He was unreasonably pleased to see Seonghwa really had read it all out verbatim.

“Are you really planning to take the bus home?” Seonghwa asked when Hongjoong pulled out his phone to check the time. Hongjoong crumbled the wrapper into a ball in his fist when he saw Seonghwa’s eyes linger on it, shoving it in his back pocket.

“Yes. That’s what I always do.” Hongjoong said, ignoring the eyes lingering on him.

“Isn’t that…unsafe?” Seonghwa asked and Hongjoong glanced over, narrowing his eyes. Why would Seonghwa care about that?

“I manage.” Hongjoong said, hand closing around the strap of his work bag. Seonghwa seemed to take the hint, staying quiet as Hongjoong picked himself up off the bench. He stumbled slightly as he did so, but managed to hide it fairly well, heaving his bag onto his shoulder. He paused briefly, unsure exactly how to do this. He usually didn’t leave when the vampire was still there, but if he wanted to catch his bus he’d have to be quick. He shifted his weight awkwardly. “Am I free to go?”

“Yes?” Seonghwa said, that weird concerned expression on his face again. “Yes. Yes, of course. I’m not keeping you here.”

“Okay. Um, well,” Hongjoong fumbled, “It was nice meeting you.”

“You too, Hongjoong-ssi.” Seonghwa said, opening his mouth like he wanted to say something more but decided against it at the last second, just giving Hongjoong a small smile. Hongjoong smiled back awkwardly before turning on his heel and making it for the bus stop a few blocks away.

It wasn’t until he got back to his apartment and started emptying his pockets and putting things away that he realized he’d not thrown away the wrapper. He stared at it for a few moments before carefully tearing off the little corner of the packaging with the cartoon strawberry. He couldn’t say why he did it, maybe he was still under some of the after effects of the venom, but he kept that piece when he threw away the rest, leaving it in the little key dish on his kitchen counter.

—2—

Hongjoong was maybe a little more happy than he should have been when, the following week, he found that Seonghwa was the vampire he’d be feeding again. It wasn’t uncommon, exactly, to get the same vampire a few times in a row, but most of them preferred to get their blood from a variety of humans. Hongjoong didn’t really understand why, but it was probably akin to eating the same meal over and over again. Eventually you got sick of the taste. Though, Hongjoong wasn’t sure if he had a distinct “taste” compared to other humans. He’d never asked, and it was kind of weird to think about. He almost hoped all humans tasted the same. He didn’t want anyone lusting after his blood specifically.

Or, well, he didn’t think he did. Maybe it would be okay if Seonghwa liked his blood specifically, but Hongjoong was not ready to open that can of worms. Seonghwa was the nicest vampire Hongjoong had met in his time as a donor, but he was still just that. It wasn’t in Hongjoong’s best interest to get attached, even if he did kind of want to see Seonghwa’s smile again.

“Hongjoong-ssi, hello.” Seonghwa said, waiting beneath the same street lamp he had been last time. He looked less nervous now, the smile on his face a little more genuine. He still stuck out his hand for a shake, which Hongjoong returned, unable to keep himself from cracking an amused smile. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright.” Hongjoong shrugged. He’d not been, not exactly, but that was normal. His bar for “fine” had been steadily lowering over the last few years. He wouldn’t be out here if it were higher. Seonghwa didn’t need to know all of that, though. “You?”

“Ah, stressed.” Seonghwa said with a tiny, awkward laugh.

“Oh yeah?” Hongjoong asked.

“Just things with my coven.” Seonghwa said, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to waste your time with the details.”

“That’s alright.” Hongjoong said, keeping himself from sounding disappointed. He didn’t know if he was really that interested in what Seonghwa had going on on a personal level, but it would at least help him get a grasp on the guy. "Wrist again?"

"Right, yes." Seonghwa said, like he'd forgotten what they were there for. Hongjoong extended his arm and found his mind wandering as Seonghwa drank. So Seonghwa did have a coven, then. Hongjoong still wasn't sure if he was a fledgling or not, but him having a coven who wasn't with him during this did point towards him not being one. It also discredited another theory Hongjoong had, that Seonghwa was a coven-less vampire, and that was why he was so unused to everything. If that wasn't the case, Hongjoong was really back at square one.

Hongjoong came back to himself in time to find Seonghwa very gently steering him towards the bench when he started swaying on his feet. He wasn't grabbing Hongjoong, instead very carefully pinching the excess fabric of Hongjoong's sweatshirt and using that to guide him. Hongjoong was surprised by how thoughtful the gesture was.

"Oh, Hongjoong-ssi, it's alright." Seonghwa said quickly, practically tripping over the words. Hongjoong wasn't sure why. "I'm so sorry. I tried to ask if you wanted me to help you sit but I don't think you heard me. I'm sorry, please don't cry."

Cry? Hongjoong reached up to his eye and cringed when he felt his fingertips wet with tears. Hongjoong must've been more out of it than usual if he was crying. What the hell was he even crying over? Just Seonghwa being considerate enough not to touch him outright? He needed to calm down. "I'm not crying."

"Okay." Seonghwa assured, voice gentler than Hongjoong had heard it yet. "I brought you another bar, if you want it."

"That'd be nice." Hongjoong said, hating how his words felt cotton-y in his mouth. He knew he should have eaten more today. That was probably what was causing all this in the first place.

Seonghwa nodded, taking a bar from his purse and holding it out for Hongjoong to take. He gave Hongjoong a searching look as he took the bar, crouching down in front of the bench like he had last time so he was looking at Hongjoong without standing over him or sitting next to him. "You said you always got like this during the haze?"

Hongjoong nodded, biting into the bar again. "This is maybe worse than…than normal right now."

"Why's that?" Seonghwa asked, tilting his head. It was kind of cute.

"I don't know." Hongjoong mumbled, even though he probably did. He just couldn't find the words right then. "What do I taste like?"

Seonghwa huffed a laugh. "Sorry?"

"I was just thinking about it." Hongjoong said. "Do all humans taste different?"

"Hm, maybe." Seonghwa said, an amused smile playing across his lips. "You taste kind of different to the blood bags I usually drink."

"Don't call me that." Hongjoong said, his brain sticking on the word. He felt the slightest bit petulant, even though he did want to stand his ground on this. He hated being called a 'blood bag,' it always felt so gross and dehumanizing.

"What?" Seonghwa asked, before it clicked for him. "Oh! Oh, no! No, I didn't mean it like that. I meant literal blood bags. The ones that go in the fridge. It's what my coven usually drinks."

"Oh." Hongjoong said, hunching a little in embarrassment. "Sorry."

"No, Hongjoong-ssi, I'm sorry. I should've been clearer." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong hated the silence that sat between them.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "You usually drink from blood bags?"

"Yes. I've fed from a pulse before, but only animals and the one non-vampire member of my coven, and he isn't human." Seonghwa explained. Hongjoong perked up slightly at that.

"What's he?" He asked.

"He's fae." Seonghwa said, a fond smile on his lips. "He's also the only person I've fed from, at least in recent memory. So that's why I probably seem a little out of my depth when it comes to your human responses. He deals with it all differently than you. The haze hardly affects him, for one."

"Huh." Hongjoong said. In recent memory. So Seonghwa wasn't a fledgling, then. He couldn't be, if he was talking like that. "That'd be nice."

Seonghwa nodded, that confusing half-sad look on his face again. "Have you been doing this for long?"

"Mm, a year or two." Hongjoong said, waving his hand around. He crinkled the wrapper in his other one, liking the sound it made. "Why do you do that?"

Seonghwa frowned. "Do what?"

"Look sad when I tell you things." Hongjoong said. Seonghwa's eyes widened, caught off-guard.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Seonghwa said, looking away and starting to pick at his nails. "It's just…I know you probably know better than me what's normal and what's not, but…I don't know. Some of the things you've told me are worrying, and I can be kind of a mother hen."

"A mother hen?" Hongjoong asked, focusing on that for some reason instead of the fact that apparently he was worrying. He didn't know what he could've said for that to be the case. He knew his life wasn't enviable, but he didn't think it was that concerning. At least, he never expected a vampire to think it was.

"Comes with the territory of being a coven head, I guess." Seonghwa said. "My boys say it all the time. One of them keeps calling me 'eomma.'"

"You're a coven head?" Hongjoong asked, voice coming out louder than he meant for it to.

Seonghwa looked surprised. "Yes?"

"Sorry. I just didn't expect that." Hongjoong said, looking over Seonghwa again. "You're young."

"I look young." Seonghwa shrugged.

"No, you are young." Hongjoong said, stubborn. "Right? For a coven head, you're young."

"Maybe. Honestly, there's a lot of variety in age for coven heads." Seonghwa said, and sighed a little at whatever face Hongjoong made. "But yes, I suppose when you compare me to other coven heads, I'm fairly young."

"Weird." Hongjoong said, eyeing him again. "Then why are you so…like that."

"Like what, Hongjoong-ssi?" Seonghwa asked.

"Like…nervous. And I don't know..." Hongjoong said, frowning. "You treat me weird."

"Weird how?" Seonghwa pushed.

"I don't know. Weird." Hongjoong said, smoothing out the wrapper between his fingers again. Having something to do always made his head feel less heavy. "You're really nice to me."

"Oh." Seonghwa's face fell, and Hongjoong didn't know what to make of it.

"What?" Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa shook his head. "No, what—what is it? What did I say? What am I doing wrong?"

"You aren't doing anything wrong, Hongjoong-ssi." Seonghwa said gently, placing a hand on the bench beside Hongjoong's thigh. It felt kind of grounding, having it there. Even if it wasn't touching Hongjoong directly, it felt like it was keeping him in place somehow. "I think this might be a conversation for when you aren't still hazed."

"But…" Hongjoong fumbled, unable to keep from pouting slightly. He crinkled the wrapper in his hand again, watching the small strawberry fold over itself until the small green 'leaves' were no longer visible. "I didn't eat well today."

"Oh?" Seonghwa asked.

"That's why I'm more out of it than usual. I didn't eat enough." Hongjoong said. "You asked me why. I think that's why."

"Ah." Seonghwa said, nodding in understanding. "Would you like to eat something, Hongjoong-ssi? I think there's a ramyun place nearby that's open late."

Hongjoong hesitated for a moment. It felt weird, to go get food with a vampire he'd just fed. It felt a bit like crossing some sort of invisible line. But Seonghwa was the one offering, wasn't he? So surely Hongjoong couldn't be doing anything that bad by just agreeing to it. "Okay."

Seonghwa gave him a soft smile, taking his hand from where it rested on the bench and holding it out for Hongjoong to take. Hongjoong took it, letting Seonghwa help him off the bench before letting go again and returning to clumsily folding the wrapper up as small as he could. He was glad he had come from his apartment instead of straight from work this time, because he was sure he would have struggled to grab his bag like this, and he didn't want Seonghwa to touch it. He didn't even really want Seonghwa to help him walk, but he was just hazy enough that it was necessary every now and then. Seonghwa was always careful about it, though, the same way he had been when he'd helped Hongjoong onto the bench. Never touching for long if he had to, and trying to keep his hands on just the fabric of Hongjoong's clothes instead of directly on him.

Hongjoong instinctively put his head down when they got to the little hole-in-the-wall restaurant Seonghwa had led them to, not wanting anyone in there to be able to immediately tell he was disoriented. It was what he usually did on the bus home. Keep his head down, pretend he was tired from the late hour but not exhausted enough to be taken for an easy target if anyone around had bad intentions. It had always worked for him, and it seemed to work now too, because the waitress barely seemed to acknowledge them even as she got them situated.

Seonghwa sat across the table from him, pushing the glass of water the waitress gave him forward so it was more on Hongjoong's side of the table, clearly an invitation to take it. Hongjoong did so, grabbing Seonghwa's glass and deciding to drink it first, if only to seem grateful for the strange offer.

"Can you talk about something?" Hongjoong asked, after the waitress took Hongjoong's order and disappeared again. Seonghwa looked up at him, and his hands wrapped a little more tightly around the glass of water. "It's weird sitting across from you when you're all quiet."

"Oh, of course." Seonghwa said, seeming apologetic for not having spoken up sooner. "What do you want me to talk about?"

"Are you…" Hongjoong started, trying to tread lightly. He knew vampires could get weird about privacy, and he didn't want to offend Seonghwa now. Not when things were going so smoothly. "Can you tell me about your coven?"

"Oh!" Seonghwa said, eyes lighting up. Hongjoong found it far cuter than he'd ever admit. "Of course! Well, let's see, there's seven of us. Six vampires and our fae. We weren't planning on being a multi-magic coven, you know, but he and my childe Wooyoung came as sort of a package deal so it was only natural. He's sweet, though. He fits right in, and I think it's good for us to not only be surrounded by vampires all the time."

Seonghwa went on, talking at length about his coven members even after Hongjoong got his food, filling the space between them with stories. He wasn't super specific, still probably a little cautious of telling Hongjoong the details of his coven, but he painted a broad picture of the apparently very rambunctious group of men. Things about how two vampires named Mingi and Yunho were another "package deal" and completely inseperable, and how if Wooyoung weren't so insistent that their fae, Yeosang, stayed with them then San would have probably fought for his inclusion in the coven all by himself, having fallen practically head over heels for the fae the second they met. The only member of his coven that Seonghwa seemed especially hesitant to talk about was their maknae, whose name was Jongho, and who Hongjoong didn't learn much about besides those two things. Hongjoong could at least fathom a guess as to why, though. He knew vampire covens could be especially protective of their youngest members.

Hongjoong was almost surprised by how talkative Seonghwa was, when he didn't seem to be constantly fighting himself over anxiety about their blood arrangement. And he had a nice voice, to boot. Pretty and soothing, melodic almost. Hongjoong could only imagine he'd make for a good singer, and absently wondered if it would be weird to ask him to lend his voice for a song Hongjoong was working on.

"How are you feeling?" Seonghwa asked, after Hongjoong was almost completely done with his bowl of ramyun.

"Better." Hongjoong said, picking at the fraying edge of his sweatshirt. "Sorry if I said anything weird."

"You didn't." Seonghwa reassured. "You could be a bit hard to follow sometimes, but it was okay."

Hongjoong nodded, chopsticks pushing around the few small pieces of noodle that remained in his bowl. "I should probably go home."

"Right, of course." Seonghwa said. "The bus again?"

"Yeah." Hongjoong said, setting his chopsticks down. Seonghwa nodded, quiet like he was waiting for Hongjoong to get up and leave. For some reason, though, Hongjoong didn't want to go yet. He liked listening to Seonghwa talk, he realized. He liked his presence. He didn't want to have to leave. "Would you…ah…"

"Yes, Hongjoong-ssi?" Seonghwa asked, listening intently.

"Would you walk me there?" Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa smiled at him. Hongjoong felt his heart flip.

"Of course." Seonghwa said, getting up with Hongjoong. He realized when Seonghwa stepped up to the counter to pay the other reason it felt weird to get up before him, and embarrassment flooded him. He tried to cut in, but it was no use. Seonghwa muscled on, paying for Hongjoong's food before he had a chance to say anything.

"You didn't have to do that." Hongjoong mumbled as they left the little ramyun shop and started heading down the street back towards the park and subsequently the bus stop.

"I wanted to." Seonghwa said easily. "Consider it thanks. You fed me, so I fed you."

"Wouldn't the thanks just be my payment?" Hongjoong asked, hoping that Seonghwa wasn't implying he'd be taking some out of the money Hongjoong was owed for his blood.

The smile Seonghwa gave him eased his worries swiftly. "Then consider it a tip."

Hongjoong nodded, putting his hands in his pockets and letting his shoulders untense. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Seonghwa said, and the two settled into a comfortable silence as they made their way down to the bus stop. A part of Hongjoong wanted to ask Seonghwa to tell him more about his coven, but he figured he was already toeing the line of seeming too interested. He didn't want to scare Seonghwa off.

Hongjoong wasn't sure how long this little arrangement of theirs would last, but he wanted to keep it up as long as possible. Seonghwa was a breath of fresh air, and Hongjoong wasn't really ready to go back to his normal clientelle after Seonghwa proved how easy it could be for vampires to just be nice to him. There was of course the small voice in the back of Hongjoong's head that screamed that this was still all a trap. That Seonghwa was only trying to appear trustworthy so he could get something more out of Hongjoong later on, but he didn't want to believe that. Seonghwa seemed so genuine. Maybe he really was just a good person.

As soon as he got home, Hongjoong's key dish gained one more wrapper strawberry, this one a little more heavily creased.

—3—

"I'm so sorry I'm late." Hongjoong called across the park, work bag digging into his shoulde. He was trying to get a hold on his breathing, heavy from the full-sprint he'd had to break into when he realized he was almost a full five minutes late for his and Seonghwa's usual meeting times. Seonghwa looked up at him.

"That's okay Hongjoong-ssi, it was only a couple minutes." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong once again felt blessed for how kind he was. A part of Hongjoong had been worried this would be the moment when Seonghwa's true colors showed, but he seemed as sympathetic as always. "I'm just glad you're alright. Did something hold you up?"

"Nothing serious." Hongjoong said, still trying to overcome the burst of panicked adrenaline. "Just work."

"Can I ask what you do?" Seonghwa asked, and Hongjoong hesitated a moment, but he figured it was fair. Seonghwa had told Hongjoong about his coven, it only made sense that he share something of his life in return.

"I'm a music producer." Hongjoong said, and was surprised by the way Seonghwa's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Really? Would I have heard anything of yours?" Seonghwa asked, and Hongjoong laughed nervously.

"Ah, I'm not really that well known. I've produced songs for a few people here and there, but nothing that big." Hongjoong waved off and Seonghwa nodded.

"I'm sure your stuff's great, Hongjoong-ssi." He said, smiling. His fangs sparkled a little in the lamplight, and Hongjoong was once again shocked by how pretty a person could be just smiling. "I was asking because some of my coven and I like to dance. Maybe we've danced to something of yours before."

"Oh, maybe." Hongjoong said, the idea of a dancing coven of vampires a little amusing to him. Though he was sure what he was imagining was very different to the reality. He tried to get his attention back to what they were meant to be doing, as nice as the small talk was. "So."

"Ah, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong felt his stomach sink. This was it, this was where things went wrong. "Hongjoong-ssi, I did some research, and…I think you might be allergic to vampire venom."

Hongjoong blinked. That was maybe the last thing he expected Seonghwa to say. "What?"

"Like I said, I'm not really versed in how humans usually react to the haze, but I wanted to look into it just in case because it seemed like you were experiencing it really strongly. And I knew it could have been because my frame of reference was pretty limited, but…" Seonghwa said, shaking his head. "Anyway, some of what you experience is normal. The disorientation and strange train of thought, but your vision isn't meant to be affected. And you're more out of it than it said most humans are supposed to get, and you struggle with balance and motor-functions which isn't supposed to happen—anyway, what I'm trying to say is that those are all symptoms of an allergy. It's not as bad as it could be, you don't break out or get too hazed to speak, which is good, but still—"

"I don't understand." Hongjoong cut in. He couldn't be allergic, he'd been doing this for years. This was normal, surely. This had to be normal. And even if it wasn't, it wasn't like he could just stop. "Are you trying to tell me I shouldn't do this anymore?"

"Well, I can't really tell you what to do. And on a more selfish note, I don't want you to stop. It'd be a hassle for me to have to find a new donor now. I just…" Seonghwa hesitated for a moment, shifting his weight. "There's a way for vampires to bite without venom, or with much less. It would be uncomfortable, but you wouldn't be as hazed. Of course we don't have to do it if you don't want to, I know it sounds really weird, but I figured I'd offer."

Hongjoong crossed his arms over his chest, studying Seonghwa's face. He looked for any hint that he was lying, or had any bad intentions with this. It was scary, to think of having a vampire bite into him with no venom to soothe the pain, but somehow he trusted Seonghwa enough to maybe let him. "Would it hurt?"

"More than normal, but like I said, I don't have to bite with no venom at all. Just not as much as I usually do. You'll still experience the haze, but it would be far less intense. Probably around normal levels." Seonghwa explained, and Hongjoong chewed his bottom lip in thought.

"Will you stop, if I tell you to?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course." Seonghwa said quickly. "The second you say the word, I promise. I wouldn't even be offended if you ripped your arm away from me."

Hongjoong felt a little better at that. He knew it could hurt for vampires to be stopped mid-feeding, so the fact Seonghwa would be willing to deal with that if it made Hongjoong feel safer did help him think this wasn't coming from a bad place. He took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Okay?" Seonghwa asked, double-checking. Hongjoong nodded, putting out his arm for Seonghwa to take. Seonghwa still moved slowly, giving Hongjoong a chance to change his mind.

When Hongjoong made no move to stop him, he bit down. Hongjoong felt the prick of fangs digging into his flesh, and then where usually he'd be hit with a rush of numbing pain relief, there was nothing. He could feel every tiny movement Seonghwa made, twinging against his muscles and pulling at his vein. It wasn't as painful as Hongjoong anticipated, more of a dull ache, which was probably due to the small amount of venom Seonghwa said he would use. He couldn't help the small sound of pain that slipped between his lips when Seonghwa took a particularly large pull of blood, but he didn't make any move to stop him, biting down on his tongue to distract himself. Eventually, he felt the drag of Seonghwa's tongue across his skin, closing up the bite wound. He pulled his arm back as soon as Seonghwa let go of it, holding it close to his chest as he stepped back. His legs hit the bench and he sat, staring at the bite marks on his wrist.

"Are you okay?" Seonghwa asked, crouching before the bench again. Hongjoong was surprised when he looked up to see Seonghwa's face and found it was completely clear, no blurriness or weird doubling.

"I can see you." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa looked a little relieved.

"It worked?" He asked, voice pitching up in tentative excitement.

"I think it did." Hongjoong said, unable to stop the incredulous laugh that bubbled out of him. "Wow, this is weird. I feel so…normal."

"It didn't hurt too bad, did it?" Seonghwa asked.

"No. I mean, a little, but I thought it would be way worse." Hongjoong said, brushing his thumb over the bite marks. "I just feel kind of fuzzy. Tired, sort of…warm?"

"That's what the haze is supposed to feel like." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong's chest squeezed. All this time, he'd been experiencing a much worse haze than anyone else did. Of course he didn't understand why people enjoyed it. This was much more pleasant.

Somehow, that scared him more. He didn't want to enjoy the haze. He didn't want to enjoy any part of feeding, because it was supposed to just be something he did on the side for money. Suddenly, he couldn't help but think of all the times vampires had tried to get handsy with him after feeding. What would have happened if he'd felt like this during those encounters? It would have made him so much more likely to be taken advantage of. It almost seemed safer to be allergic, if that was the case. He was more out of it, sure, but he didn't feel good, and that meant he was able to keep himself from any situations that would leave him feeling even worse.

"Hongjoong-ah?" Seonghwa asked carefully.

"I don't like this." Hongjoong said, scratching absentmindedly at the bite marks. "I don't—Seonghwa—"

"Hey, hey, it's alright. It's alright." Seonghwa said, coming forward, hands hovering like he wanted to reach out and help but didn't want to do anything to make Hongjoong uncomfortable. Hongjoong was shocked by the sudden urge in himself to drag Seonghwa close and be held, to bury himself in the vampire's chest and hide himself from the rest of the world. "Breathe for me, okay? I know it's weird, but you'll be alright. Your body isn't used to this version of the haze, but nothing is wrong."

Hongjoong nodded, taking his hand away from where it'd been scratching his wrist and holding it out. Seonghwa seemed confused for a moment before he carefully took Hongjoong's hand in his own, squeezing it gently and rhythmically. It helped ground Hongjoong, remind him to breathe. "I don't like this."

"Okay. Could you tell me what's going on in your head?" Seonghwa asked carefully.

"I feel…I'm too calm." Hongjoong said, which made Seonghwa tilt his head in confusion. "I know—I know I don't seem calm but I…okay, this is going to sound really weird, but I want to hug you."

Seonghwa blinked. "That's okay. You can hug me."

"No, you don't—" Hongjoong huffed in annoyance. "I don't want to hug you! My body wants to, but I don't and…I hate hugs usually, especially from people I don't know. I usually wouldn't even want you to hold my hand or touch me at all but right now it's…I don't…"

Seonghwa frowned, before something seemed to click for him. "Oh. Hongjoong-ah, I think you're touch-seeking."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Hongjoong asked and Seonghwa shushed him gently, squeezing his hand again.

"It's a way of experiencing the haze. Everyone experiences it slightly differently, and for some people it makes them want to seek physical affection or comfort. That's sort of why it took me so long to realize something was weird about how you experienced it before, but that was different than this. This isn't harmful, for one." Seonghwa explained. "Yeosang is touch-seeking when he's hazed, too. It's completely normal."

"Well I don't want to be…'touch-seeking,' or whatever." Hongjoong complained, annoyed by the stinging behind his eyes. "I don't know you. I don't know any of the people I feed, I don't want anyone to touch me."

Seonghwa frowned. "Ah. That would be a problem."

"Is there any way to stop it?" Hongjoong asked. "To change it?"

"Not besides getting over the haze. Speaking of—" Seonghwa said, before using his free hand to rummage through his purse and pull out one of those bars again. "This should work faster now, since your allergy isn't acting up as much."

Hongjoong wrenched his hand out of Seonghwa's to grab the bar, tearing it open and eating it faster than he normally would. Seonghwa didn't do anything to stop him, hands retreating easily and resting in his lap. Hongjoong relaxed a little bit when he was done, smoothing out the wrapper and looking down at it. He didn't usually get to look at it, really, since he was either dealing with vision problems or just focusing on tearing the strawberry off. It was cute, though. Hongjoong studied it, trying to remember what it looked like so he could maybe stop by somewhere and get a bunch of them for himself to have.

"Sorry." He mumbled, not looking up at Seonghwa. He could feel the haze clearing. He didn't feel as touch-starved anymore, and he could think more clearly.

"Don't be, Hongjoong-ah." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong's brow furrowed. Hongjoong-ah.

"You're speaking casually to me." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa's eyes widened.

"Oh. I guess I am." Seonghwa said, a little flushed. "I'm sorry. Do you want me not to?"

"No, it's—it's okay. I don't mind." Hongjoong said, surprised by how much he meant it. "Should I call you hyung, then?"

"Only if you want to." Seonghwa said. "You're twenty-seven, right? It said that on your profile."

"Yeah." Hongjoong said, wondering why exactly that would matter.

"I was turned when I was around that age." Seonghwa said, with a little smile. "So we're, like, kind of same-age friends?"

Hongjoong laughed. "That can't be how it works."

"It is if we want it to be." Seonghwa said playfully and Hongjoong smiled.

"Alright, Seonghwa-yah." He said, and Seonghwa beamed back at him. Gosh, that smile of his was never going to get old. "Thank you."

"For what?" Seonghwa asked.

"I don't know. For being nice?" Hongjoong said. "Ah, that reminds me, you said last time that you wanted to talk to me about that when I was less hazed?"

"Oh." Seonghwa said, rubbing his neck nervously. "I guess I did."

"Is something wrong?" Hongjoong asked and Seonghwa shrugged.

"I just…find it concerning, that this is your concept of nice." Seonghwa said, careful, like he was trying not to offend.

Hongjoong frowned at him. "But you are being nice to me."

"Well, yes, but I'm not trying very hard to be. I'm not doing much more than the bare minimum. At least, I don't think I am." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong was confused. How could all this be the bare minimum? Seonghwa had bought him food, for crying out loud, that wasn't bare minimum. Was it? "I just…Hongjoong-ah, how do the vampires you usually feed behave, that you think I'm being really kind?"

"Uh, they don't usually stick around after I feed them, for one. And if they do it's not usually for good reasons." Hongjoong said, wrapping his arms around himself and grimacing. "And they're not so forgiving, when I talk back to them or get upset."

"Forgiving?" Seonghwa asked, looking appalled. "Hongjoong-ah, you haven't done anything I'd have to forgive."

"I was late." Hongjoong mumbled.

"Not even five minutes." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong only hunched in on himself further. "Do people really hold it against you for being five minutes late?"

"Someone refused to pay me for being thirty seconds late, once." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa cursed under his breath. Hongjoong didn't like how exposed he felt. "It's part of the job."

"No. Absolutely not." Seonghwa said, vehement. "Job or not, you're still a person, Hongjoong-ah. No one should be treating you like that. Have you never told anyone about this?"

"No one in my life even knows I do this." Hongjoong confessed, wanting to shrink away until Seonghwa couldn't see him anymore. "I didn't want anyone to think I was a venom addict or something."

Seonghwa's eyes softened. "Why do you do it?"

"I can't afford to live otherwise." Hongjoong said, feeling embarrassed to admit it. "My job pays well enough, but living here is expensive, and…I don't know. I guess I just feel like I'm in too deep to find another way now."

"I…that makes sense." Seonghwa said, but he still sounded like he didn't like hearing this. "You've really never met another nice vampire?"

"Of course I've met other nice vampires in general, those just…aren't usually the ones who use this service." Hongjoong said, shrugging. He was trying very hard not to crush the wrapper in his grip, wanting at least one strawberry that was uncreased. It was a stupid thing to be thinking about, especially right now, but it was easier to focus on that than the way Seonghwa was looking at him. "I've met neutral ones doing this. Ones who weren't outright mean or predatory, but none of them were…I mean, no one else brought me anything to help with the haze. That's not—that's not bare minimum, Seonghwa."

"It should be." Seonghwa said, adamant. After a couple seconds of tense silence, his expression somehow got even stormier. "You asked me if I wanted to bite your wrist or neck."

Hongjoong's tongue felt heavy. "Yes?"

"No one's ever told you. Fuck, I never told you." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong could feel his heart steadily sinking into his stomach, dipping into the acid. "Hongjoong-ah, you don't know what it means for a vampire to bite your neck, do you?"

Hongjoong felt sick. "No."

"It's intimate. Not overtly sexual, I guess, but traditionally you only feed from the necks of people you're romantically involved with." Seonghwa said. Hongjoong's hand absentmindedly reached up towards the base of his neck, where scarred over bite marks sat. "Hongjoong-ah."

"Don't." Hongjoong asked. His head felt fuzzy. The haze was supposed to be gone, why did he still feel like he was sinking in it? "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you knew." Seonghwa said, quiet and sorrowful. Hongjoong couldn't stand to look at the guilt written in every line of his expression. "I thought you wouldn't offer if you didn't know."

That was probably what everyone else thought too. All the other vampires he'd fed, whether they took him up on it or not. Hongjoong had been so stupid. He couldn't even remember why he'd started giving the option. Maybe once a vampire had asked it, and he'd just decided to say it from then on out. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe he'd let himself be used like that.

"I want to go home." Hongjoong whispered.

"Do you want me to walk you to the bus stop again?" Seonghwa asked carefully, and Hongjoong shook his head.

"No. You can go." Hongjoong said. "I want…I need to be alone."

"Okay." Seonghwa said, standing. He hesitated a moment. "I'm sorry, Hongjoong-ah."

Hongjoong didn't say anything, simply watching as Seonghwa turned and left.

He didn't have the energy to tear off the strawberry when he got home, but he left the wrapper on his countertop anyway. Maybe he'd do it in the morning.

—4—

It took Hongjoong a while after that to decide what he was going to do. The realization of just how badly he'd been treated after all this time, and of how negatively the haze affected him, only put into perspective how much of a risk he was taking doing what he was. He knew the risks when he started, at least, he thought he did, but this was so much worse. Having it all laid out in front of him like this was hard to stomach. It was somehow worse than all the bad things themselves. Somehow more of a deterrant than the time he'd been left in that alleyway. Probably because at least then, he'd been able to ignore it as merely a part of what he'd signed up for. He didn't know what to do now.

But when he got the message detailing Seonghwa and their usual meeting time and place, he showed up. He didn't know if it was the right choice, but he needed the money either way, even if he was starting to wonder if all of this was worth it. And Seonghwa, at least, was safe. Hongjoong trusted him, even if it was perhaps inadvisable. He wanted to trust him.

Seonghwa seemed surprised when Hongjoong showed up, like he expected that that meet-up might have been their last, but he seemed to get over it pretty quickly. He didn't mention any of what they'd talked about, either, which Hongjoong was thankful for. Hongjoong was happy not to acknowledge it. Especially because at least when he was feeding Seonghwa, he didn't feel as worried about it. Seonghwa wouldn't treat him poorly, Hongjoong was pretty sure of that by now.

"Do you want me to use venom or not?" Seonghwa asked when Hongjoong put his arm out, and Hongjoong hesitated. On one hand, he did like not being hazed for as long or as intensely, but on the other he'd had that whole freak-out last time and he really didn't want a repeat.

"What would it be like if you didn't use any?" Hongjoong asked carefully.

"It would probably hurt a lot more." Seonghwa said, frowning. "But if that's what you want, I'll try it."

"Could you?" Hongjoong asked, steadying his arm. Seonghwa nodded, bringing Hongjoong's wrist to his mouth and very carefully biting down. It felt the same as it had before, up until Seonghwa dug his fangs in just a little deeper and Hongjoong felt the tiny movement like fire burning up his entire arm. He gasped and his arm yanked back instinctually. Seonghwa hissed, his hand moving up to catch the blood that dribbled from his mouth.

"I'm sorry—"

"Sorry—"

Hongjoong coughed awkwardly, still holding his arm. Little beads of blood gathered on the puncture wounds, streaking down his wrist. "Did I hurt you?"

"It's fine." Seonghwa said, which wasn't really an answer. And from the slur of his words, Hongjoong could tell it had at least startled him, if not jostled his fangs. Guilt brewed under his skin.

"I'm so sorry." Hongjoong said again, before Seonghwa could try and apologize. "I'm sorry. If you want to take more blood, that's fine—"

"What? No, Hongjoong-ah, it's okay." Seonghwa said. "You don't need to make it up to me, I promise. I told you last time that I wouldn't be mad if you pulled away, right? I meant it."

"I'm still sorry." Hongjoong said. "I didn't mean to, it just hurt more than I expected."

"So at least some venom from now on, huh?" Seonghwa asked, trying to be lighthearted. Hongjoong grimaced, and Seonghwa gave him a reassuring smile. "It's really okay. Do you want me to close the wound?"

"Oh. Sure." Hongjoong said, carefully extending his arm again, little rivulets of blood running down it. There was a small part of Hongjoong that worried that Seonghwa would bite him again, but he didn't. He simply ran his tongue across the bite, and around Hongjoong's arm to collect the blood that had rolled away. The sensation was weird, but strangely not unpleasant. Hongjoong almost even found it attractive.

No. No he didn't. He did not find a vampire licking blood off of him attractive. Seonghwa himself was attractive, sure. In a strictly objective way. And really sweet to boot, but Hongjoong wasn't going to find any part of this hot. It wasn't. As nice as Seonghwa was, this was still technically just a business interaction. That was it, it couldn't be anything more than that.

When Seonghwa pulled back, Hongjoong's arm hung between them for a second more. "Are you, uh—did you get enough blood? Before I pulled away?"

"Oh, yeah, it was enough, Hongjoong-ah." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong really had no frame of reference for whether or not he was telling the truth. "I don't want to force you to deal with that again."

"Okay." Hongjoong said, a little awkward, as he put his arm down. It stung a little, still, but it wasn't as bad as before Seonghwa closed the wound. "So. I guess I should leave, then. Not like you have to wait with me this time."

"No, I guess not." Seonghwa said, but neither of them made any move to go.

Hongjoong glanced around the park before his eyes landed back on Seonghwa. Fuck it. "I don't have anywhere to be."

A small smile spread itself across Seonghwa's face. "Would you like to get dinner with me, Hongjoong-ah?"

Hongjoong couldn't help but smile back. "I could eat."

Hongjoong didn't realize until after he got home that no haze meant he never got a bar from Seonghwa, and therefore didn't have a new strawberry to add to his key dish. He tried not to be too upset about it.

—5—

The next time, Hongjoong let Seonghwa bite him with just a little venom. It was a hard choice, knowing he was opening himself up to being vulnerable what with the weird "touch-seeking" haze thing, but he also trusted Seonghwa to be kind about it. And, of course, Seonghwa exceeded his expectations.

Seonghwa made sure to keep at least a foot of distance between them, but didn't mention it at all, simply rambling on about something Hongjoong was only half paying attention to. After a minute or two of the haze setting in, Hongjoong tried to reach out for him. Seonghwa eyed the hand hesitantly. "Are you sure you want that, Hongjoong-ah, or is it the haze?"

A part of Hongjoong wanted to insist that of course he was sure, but another part caught up to him just in time. He dropped the hand, holding it in his own instead. "No."

"Okay." Seonghwa said, easily. "Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, right—"

"I'm sorry." Hongjoong said, fidgeting with the bar Seonghwa had given him. He hadn't made any move to unwrap it yet, and he wasn't really sure why. "This is weird."

"Do you want me to be quiet?" Seonghwa asked and Hongjoong shook his head quickly.

"No. I mean I'm weird. I don't know. I feel all weird." Hongjoong said, frowning. It wasn't the haze, either. At least, he didn't think it was. He just couldn't help but think about how much of Seonghwa's time he'd been wasting, making him stay. That, and about how much he didn't want Seonghwa to leave him even then. It made him feel weirdly selfish. "It'd be fine if you wanted to leave, you know."

Seonghwa pulled his bottom lip between his teeth in thought, looking up at Hongjoong. Hongjoong felt something tug inside his chest. That stupid want to be held again. "What if I didn't want to?"

Hongjoong dug his nails into his palm. "I don't want you to feel like you have to stay."

"I don't." Seonghwa said quietly. "I like being around you, Hongjoong-ah. Is that weird to say?"

"No." Hongjoong mumbled. Hongjoong liked being around Seonghwa a lot too. And he was starting to think that it was about way more than Seonghwa being the first vampire who'd been so overtly friendly to him. There had been other vampires who were fine to be around, but none of them were quite like Seonghwa. Hongjoong's cheek was warm when he reflexively pressed the back of his hand to it. He didn't know if that was because of the haze or not. "That's not weird."

"Good." Seonghwa said, smiling that pretty smile of his. Hongjoong reached out again. Seonghwa tilted his head. "Hongjoong—"

"I'm sure." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa hesitantly took Hongjoong's hand. He ran his thumb across the back of it, and Hongjoong felt his heart jump once before slowing, easing. "Sit next to me?"

Seonghwa gave Hongjoong a hesitant look, moving slowly as he sat, but he sat. As soon as he did, Hongjoong leant his head against Seonghwa's shoulder. Seonghwa went still beside him, all except for his thumb, which continued swiping a gentle rhythm back and forth across Hongjoong's knuckles. Hongjoong leaned closer, relaxing into Seonghwa's presence. Seonghwa's skin was cold, which made sense for a vampire, but Hongjoong found he didn't mind it. His sweater was soft enough to make up for it, and Hongjoong felt like if he tried hard enough he could curl up so small he could burrow right into Seonghwa's unbeating heart and rest there.

Hongjoong nestled his head into the crook of Seonghwa's neck, and after a moment Seonghwa reached up with the hand that wasn't holding Hongjoong's to gently pet Hongjoong's hair.

"Is this okay?" He whispered and Hongjoong hummed, leaning in further in response.

"Yeah." He whispered, letting Seonghwa run his fingers through his hair. He felt more at ease than he had in a while, he realized. He'd been running himself ragged lately, with work and friends, especially now that his hyungs were starting to get more suspicious of him. He'd been managing, but he hadn't really rested in a long time.

Hongjoong was sure the haze was affecting his sense of calm somewhat, but he almost didn't mind. It was nice to be with Seonghwa. To just sit with him and breathe. Hazed or not, Hongjoong enjoyed the peace.

"Hongjoong-ah?" Seonghwa said, gently shaking him. Hongjoong blinked, squinting at the lamplight. He hadn't even realized he'd closed his eyes. "Hey, are you awake? I need to go."

"Oh." Hongjoong said, feeling heat rush up his neck as he pulled away. "Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

"Don't apologize. You were comfortable, I didn't mind." Seonghwa promised. "I just have to get going now."

"Right." Hongjoong said, watching as Seonghwa stood. He collected his things quickly, pulling his purse over his shoulder. Hongjoong glanced at his phone to find it was nearly one in the morning and grimaced. He hadn't meant to keep either of them here for that long. He must've been more tired than he thought. He hoped he'd be able to find a busline nearby that was still running.

"Have a good night, Joongie." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong smiled. Joongie. That was new. He liked it.

"You too." Hongjoong said, fumbling to say something before he left. "See you."

Seonghwa didn't respond, flashing a smile and turning away. Hongjoong watched him go, lingering on the bench until he disappeared from view.

He kept the bar, uneaten and still wrapped, by his key dish. Maybe he'd find a use for it, if Seonghwa ever stopped bringing them.

—+1—

When Hongjoong got his assignment the next week, it wasn't Seonghwa. It wasn't Seonghwa the next week either, or the next or the next. And suddenly Hongjoong was back to his normal, and the five weeks he had with Seonghwa started feeling like some crazy dream he'd made up to cope with everything.

Hongjoong made a habit of going on walks in the park he and Seonghwa used to meet in. He told himself that it was just because he liked the area, but he knew deep down he was only doing it with the hope that one day, Seonghwa would be there. That Seonghwa would see him, and that he could force Seonghwa to tell him why he'd stopped.

A part of Hongjoong knew it was his fault. He'd gotten too comfortable. He'd been pushing the boundary of what could be normal between them for too long, and he'd finally crossed it. He should've known Seonghwa wouldn't be okay with Hongjoong being all over him, treating what they were doing like something other than an exchange. It was fair that he didn't want to see Hongjoong again.

That didn't make it hurt any less.

It didn't help that he was trying to work through all of that while also going back to the way other vampires treated him. He tried to be strict about it, keep himself safe in new ways. He found a place to buy the bars Seonghwa had, and started bringing one with him every time he met up with a vampire, and he stopped offering that vampires bite his neck, and strongly turned it down whenever one tried to get him to. He didn't tell any of them about his venom allergy, feeling safer in the strong disorientation than he would with the weird comfort instinct, but even knowing he had it made him feel more equipped to handle what was going on. It helped, somewhat, but it didn't perfectly solve the problem. Hence why he was now sitting in the middle of some random late-hour vampire cafe, icing a particularly nasty bruise around his forearm from a vampire who seemed to think Hongjoong refusing to be bit on the neck was worth an extra pint of blood, and was willing to hold him down to get it.

Hongjoong was still out of it, even though the protein bar and the fury burning in him were helping to bring him back up quicker than otherwise. It was always frustrating when vampires decided to take more than they were supposed to. It put Hongjoong's recovery from the haze behind an extra half hour, at least. Which was why when he heard what sounded like Seonghwa saying his name, he ignored it. He was probably hallucinating anyway. Wishing for comfort he couldn't get, because he'd blown that chance.

Seonghwa appearing in front of him a moment later was maybe less likely to be a hallucination.

"Hongjoong-ah?" Seonghwa asked, eyes big with worry. He was balancing two carton-trays of drinks in his arms, seven cups in total. Probably for his coven members. What they could be doing where they needed coffee this late at night was a little beyond Hongjoong, but he didn't care. He knew this coffee shop brewed blood into their coffees to make it digestible for vampires, maybe it was just a way of sweetening their intake. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Hongjoong snapped, harsh enough that Seonghwa reeled back a little bit.

Seonghwa's eyes scanned Hongjoong, landing on the bag of ice the barista had so graciously given him and then on his eyes. "Are you hazed?"

"Why do you care?" Hongjoong mumbled, gripping the ice a little tighter, pressing it more against his skin to hide the bruising.

"Hongjoong-ah, what happened to your arm?" Seonghwa asked carefully, setting the drink trays down on Hongjoong's table. Which probably meant he wasn't planning on leaving. Great. Hongjoong had wanted to confront him, to see him again, but not like this. Not while he was still hazed from another vampire.

"Nothing." Hongjoong said, petulantly. "Leave me alone."

"Did the vampire you were feeding do that to you?" Seonghwa asked, and Hongjoong felt annoyed that he sounded upset on Hongjoong's behalf.

"I'm not telling you anything." Hongjoong said. "You're the one who left."

"What? Hongjoong—" Seonghwa started, before falling silent, his face going tight with what looked like guilt. "Oh. I never gave you my number, did I?"

"No. You didn't." Hongjoong said, avoiding his eyes.

"Of course. And here I was, waiting for you to reach out." Seonghwa huffed. "Hongjoong-ah, I'm so stupid. I'm sorry, I meant to, the last time we met, but you fell asleep and I—no, that's not fair. It's not your fault. This is on me, I should have—"

"You're rambling." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa snapped his mouth shut. "Why didn't you come back?"

"I didn't need the service any more, but I did want to keep in touch with you, Joong, I swear I did. It just slipped my mind." Seonghwa promised.

"I didn't…scare you off?" Hongjoong asked quietly.

"No, of course not." Seonghwa said, looking sad that Hongjoong could even think that. "I was worried I might have scared you off, when you never reached out. I didn't even stop to think that I might have forgotten to give you my number. I'm so sorry. Fuck, and now you're hurt—"

"That's not your fault." Hongjoong said. Seonghwa shook his head.

"I know." He said, quietly. His hand creeped forward a little on the table like he wanted to reach out, but he didn't. "I just wish it hadn't happened."

A silence hung between them for a few moments, Hongjoong's eyes lingering on the cups in their brown recycled-paper trays. They were going to get cold if Hongjoong kept Seonghwa here much longer, but he also didn't want Seonghwa to leave. His hand felt numb from holding the ice pack in place for so long, the chill beginning to burn. "I missed you."

Hongjoong hadn't even realized how tense Seonghwa was until his shoulders dropped at those words. "Hongjoong-ah—"

"Not just because you didn't do…well, this." Hongjoong said, nodding his head towards his bruised arm. "I mean, you were nice, I liked feeding you more than I liked feeding anyone else, but that's not why I missed you."

Hongjoong didn't say anything else, hoping Seonghwa could pick up on what he was trying to say without him needing to explain it any more. Seonghwa's hand very carefully hovered above where Hongjoong's own was holding the bag of ice, and he slowly slid his hand over the bag, nudging Hongjoong's out of the way until it fell back, and Seonghwa took over holding the ice. Hongjoong flexed his fingers, feeling starting to return to them. Seonghwa smiled at him softly. "I missed you too."

Hongjoong felt pressure build behind his eyes, the threat of tears. His voice was shaky when it came out. "I'm still hazed. He took too much."

Seonghwa's brow furrowed and he let out a steady breath. "Okay. I have more of those bars at my house, it's only a few minutes walk from here."

Hongjoong hesitated. "Is your coven there?"

"Yes. You don't have to come in. I'll just duck inside and grab one for you." Seonghwa said, not seeming bothered by the fact Hongjoong was hesitant to see his coven.

"I think I'd want that." Hongjoong said, pressing his freezing fingers against his neck in an attempt to warm them. "I do…I want to meet your coven, I think. But not right now."

"Right, of course." Seonghwa said, before pausing. "You want to meet my coven?"

"If that's okay." Hongjoong mumbled, and the smile he got from Seonghwa made his heart stutter.

"I'd love for you to meet them." Seonghwa said, softly, like he was cradling the moment itself. Hongjoong looked into his eyes, the darkness of them rich and comfortable, like a mug of warm black tea. Hongjoong wasn't even in that kind of haze, but he wanted Seonghwa to hold him close again. Maybe it wasn't the haze that made him want that after all.

Hongjoong tried to help Seonghwa with the trays but Seonghwa quickly told him off, insisting he focus on keeping ice on his bruise. Hongjoong relented, and Seonghwa carried the trays with such ease that he could hardly even feel bad about not being helpful. Seonghwa lead him out of the cafe and down the street, telling Hongjoong about his week. About how the coffee was because his coven member Mingi was in the middle of an intense project for a graduate course he was taking, trying to get his hands on a third degree, and they were all staying up with him in solidarity. It was strange to remember that vampires were sort of frozen in time in a way Hongjoong would never be. That Mingi and the rest of Seonghwa's coven could spend decades doing whatever they wanted, could go back to school as many times as they saw fit, funds-permitting, and Hongjoong would always only have his one chance. It had always been strange making supernatural friends for that reason, because they were always going to be on different timelines, but Hongjoong had gotten used to it. And he was willing to deal with the strangeness, if it meant he could get to know Seonghwa and the people he loved.

The home Seonghwa lived in was nice, a large townhouse nestled in a row of them. All coven housing, if Hongjoong was remembering the area correctly. It was certainly a prettier area than the old apartment block Hongjoong lived in. Seonghwa paused once they reached his porch, shifting both trays onto his arm expertly and getting his key from his pocket, opening the door. Hongjoong could hear someone shouting inside, loudly complaining about someone not giving something back, it sounded like. Seonghwa smiled fondly as he turned back to Hongjoong. "I'll only be a moment."

Hongjoong nodded, still holding the ice against his arm, and watched Seonghwa dip into the house. Before the door closed, he could make out a voice calling out for Seonghwa and Seonghwa shouting back telling them to be patient. He couldn't help but huff a laugh. Seonghwa wasn't lying about his coven being loud, it seemed.

After only a minute or two Seonghwa reappeared, not opening the door fully, and blocking what he did open with his body. He held out two of the bars before seeming to realize it might be hard for Hongjoong to take them and waving him closer. Hongjoong stepped closer, letting Seonghwa tuck the bars safely in the pocket of Hongjoong's jacket. His hand lingered against Hongjoong's bicep. "There you are."

"Thank you, Seonghwa." Hongjoong said as Seonghwa's hand drew back.

"Yah! Hyung, don't gatekeep your friend from us!" A voice called, and Hongjoong jumped slightly, not expecting the volume.

"Young-ah!" Seonghwa lectured, rolling his eyes. He turned his gaze back to Hongjoong, giving him a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry about them."

"It's okay." Hongjoong said, pulling his arms a little closer to himself.

"Ah, I almost forgot." Seonghwa said, digging in his pocket and pulling out a small slip of paper. "My number, so neither of us can disappear again."

Hongjoong reached out, taking it between his fingers carefully, trying not to get it wet with the now half-melted bag of ice. "I'll text you."

"I look forward to it, Joong-ah." Seonghwa smiled. "You should probably go before my coven members try and force me to invite you in."

"Right." Hongjoong said, stepping back. "Thanks again."

"Always." Seonghwa said, another pretty smile on his lips, before he dipped back inside, closing the door. Hongjoong stood there for a moment before taking the ice away from his arm to quickly put the piece of paper with Seonghwa's number on it in his pocket, then putting the ice against his arm again and taking off. The first thing he did when he got home was text the number, making sure neither of them had a reason to forget the other. Seonghwa replied in half a second, and Hongjoong went to bed feeling lighter than he had in weeks.

—

The day Hongjoong met Seonghwa's coven wasn't long after, only a couple days, on a night when Hongjoong wasn't busy and Seonghwa could gaurantee none of his coven would be either. Hongjoong was practically buzzing with nerves when he showed up on Seonghwa's doorstep, and it didn't help that Seonghwa had specifically told him not to knock when he arrived and instead text him, like Seonghwa wanted to be sure he was the first one to see him. It was strange, because that should have made Hongjoong less nervous, but something about the message had felt off, and his suspicions were only intensified when Seonghwa quietly slipped out of his house with a tense expression on his face.

"Is everything okay?" Hongjoong asked, unable to stand the unease, and Seonghwa's face softened slightly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you." Seonghwa said. "It's just…I need to talk to you about something, before you go in."

Hongjoong's shoulders climbed higher. "What is it?"

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea about this, Hongjoong-ah, because I'm not ashamed of you or embarrassed or anything like that, but…" Seonghwa sighed. "My coven doesn't know how we met, and I don't want them to find out."

Hongjoong felt sick. Of course something had to be wrong. Hongjoong was a secret. Of course Hongjoong was a secret. "Oh."

"It has nothing to do with you, Joongie, I promise." Seonghwa said, convicted. He ran a hand through his hair. "It's a really complicated situation."

"Can you…explain it?" Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa grimaced, glancing at the door and then back at Hongjoong. "Seonghwa, I deserve that much."

"No, you're right. You do." Seonghwa said, taking another second to brace himself before he let it all out. "I started looking for blood donors because…because Jongho got sick. Really sick. It's this thing called blood fever, and it happens mainly to fledglings. Basically, he had to be consuming blood at an extremly heightened rate or he'd starve within a matter of hours. I knew we wouldn't have enough if we all kept drinking the way we usually do, so I decided to get a donor so I could lessen how many blood bags we were going through, and how much stress we were putting on Yeosang to provide blood."

"I don't understand." Hongjoong frowned. "It sounds like your coven would get why you had to do it. Why didn't you tell them?"

"Because…before he was turned, San was in a really bad relationship with a vampire who would drink from him way more than was healthy. He was turned by accident that way. He met that vampire doing what you're doing now." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong's stomach dropped. "I'm worried they'd not take it very well if they found out that's how we met."

"Oh." Hongjoong said, hand moving to squeeze his opposite wrist, trying to soothe himself.

"I'm sorry, Hongjoong." Seonghwa said, genuine. "I don't want you to have to hide this, I promise. I'm really not ashamed of it."

"I know. I believe you." Hongjoong mumbled. "It's…that's fair. I understand why you don't want to tell them."

Seonghwa's hand twitched like he wanted to reach out and hold Hongjoong, and Hongjoong nearly let him, but he was still reeling a bit too much to reach back. "It's okay if you don't want to meet them any more. Or if you need some time."

"No, no, it's okay." Hongjoong said, forcing a little smile. "I'll be fine."

Seonghwa nodded, but made no move to lead them inside. Hongjoong took a second to breathe, trying to get his mind off the feeling of shame that was burning on his skin.

"What are we going to tell them instead?" He asked, and Seonghwa frowned like he hadn't thought of that. Hongjoong nearly laughed in disbelief. "Really, you don't have a plan for that?"

"I've been more stressed about the whole 'them not finding out the truth' thing." Seonghwa said, quiet and embarrassed.

"How about we met at that coffee house?" Hongjoong asked. "Ran into each other. Meet-cute, you know?"

"Sure." Seonghwa said, smiling. "A meet-cute."

Hongjoong smiled back, clapping his hands together. "Alright. I'm ready."

"Let me know if you need anything. They can be a bit much." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong rolled his eyes, telling him to hurry up and let them in. Seonghwa relented, opening up the door and letting Hongjoong step inside. The inside of the home was just as neat and nice as the exterior, and it almost looked like someone had spent a lot of time excessively tidying the place up for him. Who that could be, Hongjoong only had one guess. Seonghwa cleared his throat. "He's here!"

Seonghwa lead Hongjoong into the living area, where two very tall men were lounging around on the couch, one of them with his nose stuck in a book and the other on his phone, almost like they'd been told to act natural. They both looked up when he stepped in, matching smiles on their faces. The one with the book put it aside, not even bothering to bookmark it before he popped up and walked over. "You must be hyung's secret friend."

"Mingki-yah, he's not a secret." Seonghwa said, and the other man raised an eyebrow.

"We don't know anything about him." He said. "Seems pretty secret to me."

Hongjoong looked between them, a little nervously. "I'm Hongjoong."

"I'm Mingi, and that's Yunho." He said, holding out a hand for Hongjoong to shake. Just like Seonghwa had the first time they met. He wondered if that was a coven thing, or if they were all coincidentally weirdly formal. "The others—"

Mingi was cut off by a group of men coming down the stairs, talking over each other until they saw Hongjoong and all quieted down. One of them immediately bolted down the rest of the stairs and straight up to Hongjoong. "Finally! It's so nice to meet you, we have heard absolutely nothing about you."

Hongjoong laughed, which made the boy in front of him grin widely. "I've heard quite a lot about you."

"Spilling all our secrets, Seonghwa-hyung?" One of them asked, and Hongjoong looked up to see a very pretty man with big eyes and slightly pointed ears peeking out from his platinum-blonde hair. That was Yeosang, then.

"Wow, hyung, you didn't tell us your friend was a model." A particularly well-built man pitched in, coming over to lean on the loud one's shoulder. Hongjoong felt his face heat up. He didn't know how on earth he was the one who looked like a model when every one of them was this pretty.

"Sannie, don't make him uncomfortable." Seonghwa said, a little sharp. Hongjoong tried to give a reassuring smile.

"It's okay. Thank you, San-ssi." Hongjoong said, San smiled.

"No need to be formal!" San said, before pausing and tilting his head. "Wait, how old are you?"

"Does it matter?" Hongjoong asked. "You're all probably decades older than me."

"That's not how we do it around here." Yeosang said. "Jongho still has to call me hyung even though he's technically older than me."

"All because I was unlucky enough to be turned at twenty-five." A new voice spoke up, and Hongjoong looked over San's shoulder to see another well-built man hanging back by the stairs. And if that was Jongho, then the loud person in front of him was probably Wooyoung.

"He's twenty-seven." Seonghwa piped up. A chorus of noise resounded from the room, ranging from groaning to someone cheering about having a "new hyung."

Hongjoong smiled nervously. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize." Yunho said with a big, kind smile. "No one really cares."

"Could you all please properly introduce yourselves to my guest?" Seonghwa asked, and his coven members fell in line, introducing themselves more formally. None of them tried to shake his hand again, but they were still very rehearsed about it. It must've been a coven thing, then, some standard of politeness in introductions for whatever reason. Hongjoong was happy to find, as they went down the line, that he'd figured them all out correctly.

"How long have you and Seonghwa-hyung known each other?" San asked as they all settled in around the living room. Hongjoong immediately noticed just how physically affectionate they all seemed to be with each other, all sitting directly next to each other, or in Wooyoung and San's case, in each other's lap. Hongjoong felt a little isolated, sitting in an armchair to himself, but he took a little comfort in the fact Seonghwa had purposefully claimed the section of their big couch that was directly adjacent to the chair. If Hongjoong wanted to, he could probably reach for Seonghwa without even having to lean over.

"Ah, only a month or two?" Hongjoong said and Seonghwa nodded.

"About ten weeks." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong was a little embarrassed by how his heart flipped at just the fact Seonghwa had been keeping track. "I bumped into him at Blood Brew."

Fuck, was that really the name? Hongjoong hadn't realized it was so overtly vampire-centric. He'd only stumbled in there because it was nearby where he'd been left, and it was the only open place. He'd noticed that pretty much every item on the menu had blood in it when he'd been waiting to ask for ice, but he hadn't realized the whole shop was probably made specifically for vampires. He tried to play it off. "Literally bumped into me."

"Oh, we love Blood Brew!" Wooyoung said, excited. "Have you had their mocha? It's really great."

"Ah, I'm not…" Hongjoong started, looking to Seonghwa for help. "I'm not a vampire. I'm human."

"Why were you at a vampire coffee house?" Yeosang asked, sounding more curious than suspicious, but it still made Hongjoong nervous.

"Well, I mean, they don't only sell drinks with blood." Hongjoong said, hoping that was true. It had to be, right? If Seonghwa had been getting Yeosang something from there too? "And I'm kind of a night-owl. Human coffee shops aren't open as late."

"Hongjoong-ah's a producer." Seonghwa said, expertly redirecting the conversation. The other members of the coven took the bait, Mingi and Jongho especially seeming really excited to talk about music, but Hongjoong still felt like there were eyes on him. Like he was going to get questioned more about how they met when they did. The conversation moved on, though. None of them seemed too worried about it, just wanting to hear more about Hongjoong's job and hobbies, which he talked about with only some anxiety. He did want to get to know them more, but it was frightening to tell so much about himself. Hongjoong had gotten so used to hiding even the smallest parts of his life for fear of being stalked by a vampire or having his secrets exposed to his friends, it was strange now to tell them things. Though, it helped that they didn't put it all on him, frequently taking opportunities to tell him their own stories.

Hongjoong felt pretty good about it all. He was sure he'd like Seonghwa's coven, since Seonghwa himself was so sweet, but he was surprised by how easy it was to talk to all of them. By the time Wooyoung insisted on making dinner for Hongjoong, and Yeosang by extension, Hongjoong felt more at ease than he expected to. They were all so friendly to him, and they never pushed too much if he seemed even the slightest bit uncomfortable with a question they asked. Though, that could have also been because Seonghwa subtly stepped in every time. Hongjoong appreciated it. He felt safe around them, like he could let his guard down.

He helped Wooyoung in the kitchen for the sake of it, even though he wasn't much of a chef himself. Wooyoung seemed happy to give him small chores to do. Asking him and Mingi, his other kitchen helper, to fetch ingredients and chop vegetables. Hongjoong liked doing it, because it gave him an excuse to talk a little less, leaving the rest of the coven to chat around him.

"Hey, Hongjoong-hyung—" Hongjoong heard Mingi's voice a second too late, only feeling someone grab his forearm and press on the still-healing bruise hidden under his sweatshirt. He startled, ripping his arm away and stumbling back, his hip hitting the counter painfully and knocking him off balance. A blur of noise pulled around him as he collapsed into the counter, and he couldn't help the way he pushed himself further away, trying to escape whoever's hand was on him.

"Mingi-yah, back up." Seonghwa's voice cut through the blur, and a second later Hongjoong saw his face appear in front of him. "Are you okay, Hongjoong-ah?"

Hongjoong looked around, feeling weighed down by all the eyes on him. He realized he'd brought his bruised arm close to his chest and was cradling it and forced himself to drop his arms to his sides. He felt a flush crawl up his neck. "Sorry. I'm fine."

"Is your arm okay?" Yunho asked, standing a few feet away. He must've gotten up to check in when Hongjoong flinched away. Hongjoong cringed.

"Yeah." Hongjoong said quietly, feeling way to exposed. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Did I grab you too hard?" Mingi asked, voice pitchy and concerned.

"No. Don't worry about it." Hongjoong said, but he could tell none of them believed him. He looked up at Seonghwa again, and relaxed a little at the understanding in his eyes.

"Did he press on the bruise?" Seonghwa whispered, clearly trying to keep the rest of his coven from overhearing. Hongjoong was happy for the little bit of privacy.

He nodded. "He didn't mean to."

"Do you want to step out for a second?" Seonghwa asked gently. "No one will mind."

Hongjoong didn't want to, not really. He didn't want to make a big deal out of this, he didn't want to cause a scene the first time he met Seonghwa's coven, but maybe it was too late for that now. He hesitated for a second before responding. "No, I'm okay."

"It doesn't hurt, does it?" Seonghwa asked, just to be sure. Hongjoong shook his head.

"It'll be fine." Hongjoong said. "I, uh, I might be done helping, though."

Seonghwa nodded, stepping back so Hongjoong could have more space to himself. Hongjoong started following him to the little dining room area where the rest of them were sitting, Yunho coming to take his place where he'd been cutting green onions. Mingi looked guilty as he passed by him. "I'm so sorry, Hongjoong-hyung. I should've been more careful."

"It's okay, Mingi-yah, really." Hongjoong said. And then, because he felt like he ought to explain himself at least a little bit, "I just don't really like being touched by people I don't know well. It's not your fault."

"Of course, I'm sorry." Mingi said, practically falling over himself to apologize. Hongjoong could only give him an awkward, hopefully reassuring smile. He didn't know how to convince Mingi that he'd really not done anything wrong. Hopefully he'd get over it soon enough.

Hongjoong sat on a little bench in the corner of their dining room, reaching out to grab Seonghwa's wrist lightly and tug him to sit next to him. Seonghwa hardly even acknowledged the movement as he effectively boxed Hongjoong in between himself and the wall. Hongjoong found it comforting.

The rest of them moved on quickly, electing to ignore what had happened and try to circle back to their conversation. Hongjoong couldn't help but notice how San kept glancing at him and Seonghwa, though. He didn't think it was because he knew what was going on. Really, there was nothing that could've given them away, but it did make Hongjoong feel a bit too seen.

Eventually Wooyoung served up the food he'd made and Hongjoong moved to sit at their dining table. It was a bit strange, being one of only two people at a big dining table with an actual plate of food in front of him. After a few minutes Seonghwa seemed to notice that and got up, recruiting San's help to get all the vampires glasses of blood.

"Don't get me one, hyung." Wooyoung said, a little teasing lilt to his tone that made Jongho groan seemingly on instinct, like he knew all too well what was coming. "I'm gonna have Yeosangie for dinner."

"Wooyoung-ah, behave yourself." Seonghwa chastised. "We have company."

"Just don't suck on my neck in front of the guest." Yeosang said, but he seemed otherwise unaffected by the completely unabashed flirting.

"Aw, but it tastes so much better like that." Wooyoung complained, and Hongjoong felt his entire body freeze. He could hear people talking around him, but his mind felt like it'd been dragged away. He forced himself to take a deep breath, trying to be quiet as he calmed down. It was fine, he was safe. He was with Seonghwa's coven, and Seonghwa was safe. It was fine.

He hadn't realized how many things he'd be reminded of just from hanging around vampires. He should've thought about it before he'd agreed to meet Seonghwa's coven. He should've at least prepared himself for this. He knew they'd probably end up talking about drinking blood, and Seonghwa had told him before that they all drank from Yeosang every now and then. He just hadn't expected it to affect him so much. He hadn't expected it to catch him so off-guard.

Hongjoong forced himself to pick up his chopsticks again, to shove a bite of food into his mouth and chew it so he at least didn't have to talk to anyone. Not that anyone seemed to be trying to talk to him. From the bits and pieces Hongjoong was picking up, he thought they were probably still arguing about Wooyoung being too flirty around guests. Hongjoong thought it would have probably been a fun conversation to listen to under different circumstances, but he couldn't get his mind off of what Wooyoung had said. He'd heard that exact thing before, from vampires wanting to bite his neck instead of his wrist. It tasted better, it was more comfortable, it was easier to find the vein. Hongjoong had known there was truth behind it all, but the fact it'd so often been used to coerce him into something he wouldn't have otherwise wanted made him feel gross.

"Joong-ah?" Seonghwa whispered, leaning over from his seat beside Hongjoong and keeping his voice low. Hongjoong looked up to see the rest of the table was engaged in a different conversation, and let himself find Seonghwa's eyes. "Are you alright? You seem a bit quiet."

"I—" Hongjoong started, unsure how to go about this. He didn't want to get Wooyoung in trouble for what was such an innocuous thing, and something that wasn't even directed at Hongjoong. "It's nothing. I'm being sensitive."

"Joong, I promise whatever it is, you aren't." Seonghwa said with such conviction that Hongjoong couldn't help but believe him.

"He didn't mean any harm." Hongjoong said quietly and Seonghwa's eyes got sad.

"Ah, this is about what Woo said to Yeosang, isn't it?" Seonghwa asked, and Hongjoong grimaced. "I'm sorry, Hongjoong-ah, I should've told them to keep blood talk to a minimum."

"It's fine." Hongjoong said. "I don't want them to have to censor themselves around me. I don't even know why it's bothering me so much."

"Hongjoong?" Seonghwa asked quietly. "Can I hold your hand?"

Hongjoong bit the inside of his cheek, glancing down at where Seonghwa's palm was held out between their seats. Hongjoong hesitated a moment before giving Seonghwa his hand, letting Seonghwa hold it and brush his thumb across it, the way he always did. Hongjoong felt a little bit of the tension seep out of him.

"I'm sorry." Hongjoong whispered after a few seconds. "I'm being so difficult."

"You aren't being difficult, Joongie." Seonghwa promised. "I knew not everything would go perfectly. I didn't expect it to. We're all people, things are going to be a bit hard to navigate."

"I just wanted this to go well." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"It is going well. The boys like you a lot." Seonghwa said. "I'm honestly surprised by how well you've all gotten along."

"They're easy to talk to." Hongjoong said and Seonghwa smiled.

"You'd be surprised." He said fondly. "I think you're the one who's easy to talk to, Joong."

"What? No, I'm…" Hongjoong fumbled. He didn't know why he was trying to argue what he knew was a compliment, but he felt weird about it. Hongjoong was usually so tense, so walled-off. He'd been so nervous this whole evening. At least, he'd thought he'd been.

But he had gotten on with the coven shockingly well. He bounced off their jokes easily, he liked listening to their stories. He'd told them more about himself in one night than he'd usually tell people in weeks or months of knowing them. He just wanted so badly to know them, to enjoy their company, because he enjoyed Seonghwa's so much. He wanted them to accept him. To approve of him.

To approve of him. Oh, damn it. He'd been looking at this like trying to be invited into a partner's circle the whole time. He wanted them to like him because he liked Seonghwa. Way more than he should, maybe. Maybe just enough. He wanted to be around Seonghwa all the time. He wanted to be invited over like this again. He wanted to be held by him, to be taken care of when he needed it and to take care of Seonghwa when Seonghwa needed him. And maybe a little part of him wanted Seonghwa to bite him again, just for the sake of it.

Oh, Hongjoong was so screwed.

As the night wound down, Hongjoong only got convinced of that more and more. When Seonghwa curled up beneath a blanket when they'd all gone to watch a movie and looked so stupidly soft. When Seonghwa laughed at a joke Hongjoong made and flashed his pearly fangs. Just being around him, being around his coven, was so easy. So comforting. Hongjoong ended up staying so much later than he intended to, not wanting to leave. Even when Yeosang got tired enough to fall asleep on the couch and Jongho had to pick him up and carry him up to bed, and when Mingi disappeared upstairs to go work on something and Yunho followed after him a few minutes later, Hongjoong didn't want to go.

He got up to get a snack as midnight approached, trying to find something he recognized. A lot of the food immediately stuck out to him as fae food, which he deftly avoided. He was in the middle of rifling through one of the cabinets when he heard heavy footfall enter the kitchen. He turned around to see San standing there, looking more nervous than Hongjoong expected. He frowned.

"Hey, San-ah." Hongjoong said, tentative. "Is everything alright?"

"Hongjoong-hyung, can I ask you something?" San asked, and Hongjoong felt the nerves in him knot into a ball. Hongjoong nodded, and San very carefully stood at the corner of the kitchen furthest from Hongjoong and furthest from the exit. It was so strategic that Hongjoong immediately noticed it for what it was. He was trying to let Hongjoong know he wasn't trapped. Hongjoong felt the ball of nerves tighten. "Hyung, are you a donor?"

Hongjoong should've seen that coming, but it still made him tense up. His eyes darted to the exit San had so carefully left. "What gave it away?"

"Just…some of the things you've said." San said, crossing his arms over his chest. "And…well. You met Seonghwa around the time he was going out to get blood because Jongho was sick."

Hongjoong paused. "You know."

"It wasn't that hard to put together. Hyung's not as good at keeping secrets as he thinks he is." San said, shrugging. "Besides, I found a bunch of those iron bars he's been keeping around for you, and I knew he wasn't getting them for Yeosang."

"You aren't upset with him?" Hongjoong asked tentatively.

"Of course not. Well, not about that. Hwa-hyung was only doing what he thought was best for Jongho and the rest of us." San said. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"You want to make sure I'm okay?" Hongjoong asked, confused.

"Seonghwa's my hyung, and I love him, and I don't want to think he'd do anything bad, but I also know what it's like to be on your side of things." San said, cautious. "I just want to make sure he's treating you well. And that you know you don't owe him anything."

"Of course I don't owe him anything." Hongjoong said, a bit defensively. But he also understood where San was coming from. He probably knew what it was like to get attached to just the idea of someone being nice to you after so long of people being neutral or outright awful. He shrunk in on himself a little bit. "Sorry."

"It's okay." San said, sincere.

"I know I don't owe him. I…" Hongjoong hesitated. He let out a breath. "He's been really good to me, San-ah, but that's not the only reason I like him. He's smart, and funny, and cute, and honestly…I think I'd like him this much even if we had just met at some coffee shop."

San gave him a smile, shoulders untensing and leaning more casually against the countertop. "I'm glad to hear that."

Hongjoong smiled back, feeling a little more at ease. "I'm sorry we lied to you all about how we met."

"You don't have to be, I know it was Seonghwa-hyung's idea. Honestly, he's such a mom. I get it but come on, I've been around for decades. You'd think he'd be less protective." San joked, and Hongjoong laughed. He'd forgotten that the young man before him, calling him hyung, was technically way older than him. It was only kind of werid to think about. San smiled. "But I'll lecture him later. I think Youngie and I are going to head upstairs."

Hongjoong caught the hidden meaning behind his words. "Oh."

"Go for it, Joongie-hyung." San said as he slipped out of the kitchen again. "If you ask me, I think Seonghwa-hyung likes you that much, too."

Hongjoong watched him go, the tips of his ears feeling hot. He was sure if he looked in the mirror they'd be bright red. Though he doubted he'd be able to find a mirror in this house, except for maybe in whatever bathroom Yeosang used.

He took a second to stand there. To hype himself up, he guessed, to face Seonghwa. He still didn't even know how he was going to go about this, but if San had given them his "blessing," he might as well do something, right?

Seonghwa was waiting out on the couch when he got back, curled up against the arm of it and scrolling around on his phone. San was pulling Wooyoung up the stairs, and he threw Hongjoong a wink as the two of them disappeared. Hongjoong flushed again but tried to calm himself, coming over to sit by Seonghwa. Seonghwa stilled when Hongjoong leaned against him, like he had back at the park, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Couldn't find anything?" He asked, setting his phone aside. Hongjoong almost forgot he'd left to get a snack.

"Most of your snacks are fae food." Hongjoong said, brushing it off. Seonghwa hummed in discontent.

"I'll make sure to get some stuff you can have next time I'm out." Seonghwa said, sounding like he'd barely even considered the implication of that.

"Planning to have me around again?" Hongjoong asked and Seonghwa blinked.

"Ah, I guess I am." He said quietly. "So long as you want to."

"I like it here." Hongjoong said. "Your coven's nice."

Seonghwa let out a little relieved sigh that hissed somewhat as it whistled past his fangs. Cute. "I'm glad."

Hongjoong moved impossibly closer, trying and failing to find the words he wanted to say. He wasn't surprised to find that up close, Seonghwa only got more beautiful. Surely it couldn't be fair for the universe to pick favorites like that, but Hongjoong couldn't help but think that if he was lucky enough to be in Seonghwa's arms, maybe he was one of them himself.

"Are you hungry?" Hongjoong asked before he could really think it over.

Seonghwa's brow creased in confusion. "What?"

"Do you want to drink from me?" Hongjoong asked, feeling embarrassed but powering on anyway. Too late now. Seonghwa's eyes widened.

"Oh, no, no, Hongjoong-ah you don't have to offer that." Seonghwa said quickly. "I didn't—I don't expect you to—"

"I know you don't." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa's panicky ramblings quieted. "What if…I wanted you to?"

"You want me to drink from you?" Seonghwa asked, confused. Seemingly still trying to tread lightly, to make sure Hongjoong wasn't offering because he thought he had to.

"It's—well—" Hongjoong fumbled. He really didn't know how to word this. He never thought he'd want a vampire to drink from him. He'd always thought of it as strictly a business exchange. His blood for money. He hadn't ever expected to want to give his blood for any other reason…and then along came Seonghwa. "I just mean that if you wanted to, like, bite my neck…I'd be okay with that."

Seonghwa's lips parted in surprise, and Hongjoong was very caught off-guard by how kissable he looked right then. "Hongjoong-ah…are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yes." Hongjoong breathed. He could feel the coolness of Seonghwa's skin beneath his hands.

"You're sure?" Seonghwa asked. "This isn't just because…"

"It's not because I think I owe you. Or just because you were kind. You're so much more than that, Hwa." Hongjoong said, the nickname rolling off his tongue. Hongjoong took the opportunity to slip into Seonghwa's lap, straddling him. Seonghwa's hands came up to hold Hongjoong's waist. Gentle. Hongjoong knew that if he wanted to, he could move away at any moment. He didn't want to. "I want this. I want you to be the only vampire that drinks from me, from here on out."

Seonghwa blinked. "You mean that?"

"I'll remove my name from the list first thing tomorrow morning." Hongjoong said.

"You don't have to do that for me, Hongjoong-ah." Seonghwa whispered. "What about the money? You won't make enough."

"I'll figure something else out." Hongjoong said. "Honestly, Seonghwa, I think you're the only reason I was even still doing it. I was just hoping that some day you'd show up again."

"That's…" Seonghwa breathed, and Hongjoong hated to see the little bit of guilt in his eyes. "I really wish I hadn't forgotten to give you my number."

"Don't apologize, please." Hongjoong said. "You're here now, right?"

"Right." Seonghwa agreed, a thumb swiping across the fabric of Hongjoong's sweater, making it ride up on his waist slightly. "I won't leave again."

Hongjoong smiled, bringing a hand up to brush through Seonghwa's hair, tucking it behind his ear. "Bite me?"

Seonghwa slowly leaned in towards the crook of Hongjoong's neck, nudging it slightly to get a better vantage. He kissed the skin at the base of it tenderly, right over the faded bite marks already resting there. Hongjoong shivered, hand coming to hold the back of Seonghwa's neck. Seonghwa took a few more seconds to linger there, giving Hongjoong time to change his mind, and then he bit down.

Hongjoong felt Seonghwa's fangs prick his neck, the twitch of them as Seonghwa dug in more. There was the ache that came with Seonghwa only using a small amount of venom, mindful of Hongjoong's allergy, but Hongjoong hardly minded it. He preferred the little daze that hit him, because it felt so much warmer than the usual invasive feeling of teeth in his neck. The ache reminded him he was real, a person who could feel, and that Seonghwa liked him that way. Liked Hongjoong for the person he was, and not just the blood he could provide.

Before Hongjoong knew it, Seonghwa was pulling back, taking his fangs from Hongjoong's throat and licking away the tiny pinpricks of blood that bubbled up in their wake. He could feel the haze setting over him like a weighted blanket. Warm and soft, but heavy enough to pull him in. "You're hot."

Seonghwa gave a tiny, choked laugh. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Hongjoong hummed, nuzzling closer to Seonghwa as he sat back. He pulled his legs up to his chest so he was more sitting in Seonghwa's lap than straddling it, curling into him. Seonghwa's arms held him steady. "Very pretty too."

"So are you." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong shook his head lightly, but didn't say much. One of Seonghwa's hands carded through his hair. "Tell me if this is ever too much."

"So good to me." Hongjoong said, just a little teasing. Seonghwa huffed a laugh. "Sannie's got nothing to worry about."

"Sannie?" Seonghwa asked.

"Mhm, he knows." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa's hand froze. Hongjoong frowned. "He isn't upset."

"That's what you two were talking about in the kitchen." Seonghwa said, like it had only just dawned on him. "He's really not?"

"No." Hongjoong assured. "He just wants you to treat me well."

"Well, that I can do." Seonghwa said, soft and sure. He brushed some of Hongjoong's hair from his face, and Hongjoong chased the coolness of his hand. Seonghwa laughed. "You're clingy."

"Only when I'm hazed." Hongjoong complained. "Don't get too used to it."

"Okay." Seonghwa said, smile tugging on his tone.

"Do I taste good?" Hongjoong asked. Seonghwa huffed fondly.

"You're still thinking about that?" Seonghwa asked. Hongjoong nodded. "You taste like blood, Joongie."

"Come on, at least lie and say I taste like something special." Hongjoong said, smacking Seonghwa's chest lightly. "You're really telling me you couldn't tell the difference between my blood and some random human's?"

"Okay, okay." Seonghwa giggled. "You taste like strawberries then."

"Strawberries?" Hongjoong asked.

"They were my favorite." Seonghwa whispered. "When I was human."

Hongjoong smiled, remembering the small collection of wrapper strawberries in his key dish back home. "Strawberries."

Seonghwa nodded, and Hongjoong pressed his head closer to Seonghwa's chest. It was weird, to hold his head to someone's chest and not hear a heartbeat, but he was sure he'd get used to it. He'd love to get used to it, actually.

"I might fall asleep on you." Hongjoong mumbled.

"That's okay." Seonghwa said, soft and sweet as he planted a gentle kiss on Hongjoong's forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up."