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[Ilya Rozanov yawns and stretches shirtless in his kitchen. Pajama pants hang low on his waist, and his hair is rumpled from sleep. He smiles and waves at the camera, and when he comes closer, he leans down so his face is level with the camera, his eyes bright even though he’s obviously tired.]
Ilya: Good morning! It is ass o’clock, and I hate that I am awake, but today you are going to spend the day with me and my boyfriend. And I know what you are thinking, ‘what man could possibly be worthy of you, Ilya?’ and I get it. I ask myself this every day, but my boyfriend is very wonderful, even if he is much, much less famous than me and not nearly as good at hockey, and I think it’s about time you all get to know him. So, yay boyfriend reveal! And now I’m going to make him his disgusting breakfast smoothie, and then bring you along for our day together because my friend Harris Drover says I need more content on the internet, and what better way to do that than to tell you I’m bi, and that I have a boyfriend, and show you how disgustingly in love we are?
[Ilya straightens so that his bare torso is the only thing in the frame, his abs flexing as he reaches over to turn on the blender.]
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6:30 AM - Breakfast in Bed
[Ilya walks quietly into a bedroom, carrying a green smoothie. He walks toward the bed where someone appears to be sleeping, and with his free hand, he gently shakes the shoulder of the person in the bed.]
Ilya: It’s time to wake up, sweetheart.
[The person in the bed begins to stir slightly while a medium-sized brown dog, Anya, trots into the room and jumps up directly onto the person in the bed. The person sits up instantly at the contact, startled, revealing Shane Hollander to be Ilya’s boyfriend. He flails a bit in his shock, knocking the smoothie out of Ilya’s hand where it lands all over Ilya’s chest and pajama pants. It’s quiet for a few long moments. Ilya’s mouth is open in surprise, his arms spread out as liquid drips down his body, and Shane blinks rapidly, his head moving back and forth between Anya, sitting happily on the bed with her tail wagging, and Ilya. When he speaks, his voice is gravely from sleep.]
Shane: What the fuck?
Ilya: I…made you breakfast in bed.
Shane: That clearly worked out well.
Ilya: This is disappointing.
Shane: I’m sorry.
Ilya: It is fine. We’ll just have to go to McDonald’s.
[Ilya walks out of the shot, Anya jumping off the bed to follow, and Shane sighs deeply, briefly laying back against the pillows as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He calls after Ilya.]
Shane: You could just make me another smoothie, you know! This doesn’t automatically mean we go to McDonald’s!
Ilya: [off camera] Yes, it does! You had your one shot and you ruined it.
Shane: I ruined it?!
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7:00 AM - McDonald’s Run
[Ilya is shown in the passenger seat leaning heavily over the center console to get Shane in the shot with him. He’s smiling brightly, while Shane looks more than a little disgruntled.]
Ilya: Where are we going, Shane?
Shane: [Glaring briefly at the camera before his eyes turn back to the road] If I don’t say it out loud, it didn’t happen.
Ilya: Fine, then I will say it. We are so happy to be going to McDonald’s!
Shane: Speak for yourself.
[Ilya can be heard chuckling as he leans forward and places his phone into a holder on the dashboard. He reaches over and takes Shane’s hand into his own, bringing them to rest in his lap. Shane’s face loses its angry edge, his mouth relaxing into an almost dreamy smile.]
Ilya: It is going to be a good day, yes?
Shane: The best.
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9:00-10:00 AM - Watch Shane do yoga
[Shane stands in the tree pose on a yoga mat in the grass. His eyes are closed in concentration while Ilya narrates.]
Ilya: Shane is so much more flexible since he started with his new yoga instructor. I send her flowers weekly because you should see how far back I can push his legs when I put my tongue–
Shane: Ilya!
[Shane’s eyes pop open and he nearly falls on his face while Ilya laughs loudly just before the video cuts to another scene.]
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10:30-11:00 AM - Walk Anya
[Shane holds Anya’s leash in his right hand, and Ilya holds tightly to his left as they walk up the sidewalk, the video only showing the bottom half of their bodies. Anya trots a meter or so ahead of them, stopping occasionally to sniff at a bush or bark at a squirrel. Shane and Ilya talk lightly as they move up the path.]
Shane: Did you ever imagine we’d be here? In Ottawa, walking our dog together?
[Ilya’s hand squeezes Shane’s.]
Ilya: I always hoped.
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11:15 AM - Lunch/Making out
[Shane and Ilya move about the kitchen making lunch. Ilya mixes a salad while Shane turns over two chicken breasts in a pan. Shane lightly bumps his hip into Ilya, and Ilya smiles brightly, bumping him back, and the two are soon caught up in each other, Shane managing to put himself between Ilya and the countertop. His arms wind around Ilya’s neck, and the two kiss lazily for a few moments before Ilya lifts Shane onto the countertop, knocking an onion onto the floor. Shane’s legs spread to accommodate Ilya’s body, while Ilya runs his hands up and under Shane’s t-shirt, giving the camera a brief glimpse of Shane’s abs. Ilya eventually murmurs something against Shane’s mouth, as smoke starts to rise more urgently from the pan on the stove.]
Ilya: Your chicken is burning.
Shane: What? Oh, fuck.
__________
12:00-1:30 PM - Annoy Shane
[Shane sits on an outdoor sectional reading a book. His legs are propped up on an ottoman, and a soft blanket covers his legs. Ilya sits down next to him and looks at Shane expectantly. When Shane doesn’t look away from his book, Ilya begins to lightly poke him at various spots on his body, and when he lightly jabs Shane’s cheek, Shane finally breaks, and playfully bites at the intruding finger.]
Shane: Do you need something?
Ilya: Nope. Not a thing.
[The video switches. Shane is still reading, but Ilya is gone from the couch. It’s a peaceful scene until Anya appears and begins to slowly float towards Shane, lifted by large hands as her tail wags. She is held up to Shane’s face where she begins to enthusiastically lick him, and Shane sighs deeply. He closes his eyes and lets her lick all over his face before he finally reaches up a hand and pats her head.]
Shane: Hi, sweet girl. Your dad is a mess, did you know that?
[Anya barks, and the video begins to show more scenes of Ilya attempting to bug Shane, including running a leaf blower, attempting to steal the blanket, kicking a soccer ball, and loudly eating chips. Eventually, Ilya sits on the ottoman, head leaning on his hand as he dramatically pouts in front of Shane. Shane finally looks up, and his face immediately softens, a small smile lifting at the corner of his mouth as he raises one side of the blanket in invitation.]
__________
1:30-3:00 PM - Naptime
[Ilya lays on the sectional covered by a blanket as he softly snores with his head in Shane’s lap. Shane scrolls through his phone with one hand, and the other gently scratches and strokes through Ilya’s hair.
__________
3:15-4:45 PM - Destroy Yuna and Shane at cards
[Ilya sits with Shane, Yuna and David Hollander around a small table in a breakfast nook. Playing cards are scattered around the table, and the group is engaged in a tense game of Euchre. Ilya sits across from David, signaling they are partners, and David wiggles his eyebrows at Ilya before he plays the last card in his hand, the jack of hearts, winning the game, causing Ilya to cheer as Shane and Yuna express deep annoyance.]
Yuna: That’s the third game in a row you two have won!
Shane: I have no idea how, but you two are cheating.
David: [He claps Shane on the back in a conciliatory way] We just make a great team.
Ilya: Yes, and you two just…don’t.
Shane: Fuck off.
Yuna: No, he’s not wrong. I can’t be your partner anymore. I can’t lose this much again. It’s an embarrassment.
[Shane’s mouth hangs open as Ilya laughs loudly and David shakes his head.]
Shane: Seriously, mom?!
[The doorbell rings, and Yuna checks her watch. When she looks up, her face has changed into something fond and excited. David heads out of the room to answer the door as Yuna begins to gather the cards. She gives them both a knowing smile when she notices they haven’t moved, and shoos them with her hand.]
Yuna: You two need to go get ready.
__________
5:00-6:15 PM - Getting ready
[The video shows a short montage of clips of Shane and Ilya getting ready, including Ilya toweling off Shane’s hair after a shower, them brushing their teeth, and
Shane: Should I leave it down or put it up?
[Ilya smiles at Shane, brushing his hair behind his ear and then strokes at his cheek as he looks over Shane’s face in an adoring way.]
Ilya: Leave it down. That way I can mess it up properly later.
[He winks and the little bit of tension in Shane’s shoulders melts as he rolls his eyes and leans into Ilya’s touch. They’re then shown helping each other button up dress shirts, and Shane straightens Ilya’s suit jacket and tying a bow around Anya’s neck, before they’re seen again in the kitchen, Yuna scolding them half-heartedly as they snack on meat and cheese from an elaborately decorated tray.]
__________
6:30-9:30 PM - The Main Event
[Ilya sets the camera against a tree. There’s a few dozen people milling about the back yard, teammates and friends and family all gathered. He stands up and steps back until his whole body is in the frame and can be seen wearing a burgundy suit that he shows off a bit for the video before Shane can be heard calling him from across the outdoor space.]
Shane: Ilya, are you ready?
Ilya: I have been ready for years! [Several people can be heard laughing and cheering and Ilya squats gracefully again in front of the camera, his face beaming as he speaks excitedly.] I have to go get married now.
[Several scenes play out in small clips over the course of the evening: the exchanging of vows, a deep kiss, a first dance to a strangely chosen song, and finally the cake is cut and distributed amongst the small crowd. Shane and Ilya move throughout the party, hand in hand, attached in a way that seems familiar to those attending. Twinkle lights flicker on, and several young children run with Anya around the yard until the camera catches her eye and she comes over, sniffing the screen, the video full of her snout and brown fur. She knocks it down, causing the screen to go black.]
__________
10:00 PM - Goodnight 😴
[Night’s fallen and several teammates and friends remain sitting around the porch as the fire pit flickers and casts welcoming shadows. Shane and Ilya are on the sectional like they had been earlier in the afternoon, but their positions are reversed. Ilya is sitting up, his legs propped casually on the ottoman while Shane is curled up on his side, fast asleep. His head is in Ilya’s lap, and Ilya’s jacket covers the top half of his body. Ilya laughs freely with those around him while his hand gently strokes at Shane’s hair, a black wedding band with a hint of gold catching in the firelight.]
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@ilyarozanov81 Thanks for spending the day with me and my now ex-boyfriend @realshanehollander 🤵♂️🤵♂️💍😘😘😘🧑❤️💋🧑❤️
Posted July 11th at 9:25 AM
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Comments on this post have been limited.
@realshanehollander Just wanted to make it clear that we’re married. He didn’t break up with me. That’s just him being a smart-ass. I’m not his ex. And thanks to @harrisdrover95 for editing this for us so quickly. Also, sorry about the making out.
@haydenpikemontreal @realshanehollander Thanks for clarifying all that, buddy.
@harrisdrover95 @realshanehollander It was my honor! And thanks for all the engagement 😉
@theroselandry Hey, is there an uncut version of you two making out, and if so, can you send it to me? ❤️
@ilyarozanov81 @realroselandry I’ve got you, bb.
@realshanehollander @ilyarozanov81 @theroselandry NO, he doesn’t!!!
@b00dramzane Since you limited comments on this post, the guys and I thought we’d leave you a few that you probably missed out on. You know, just to make it more realistic.
@b00dramzane OMG. IS THIS FOR REAL?
@wyatthayes THEY’RE TOGETHER?!!!?????!! AND NOW THEY’RE MARRIED?!??!!
@nickchouinard HOLY SHIT SHANE HOLLANDER AND ILYA ROZANOV
@evandykstra I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS
@troybarretthockey SHANE HOLLANDER LOOKS SO GOOD IN HIS GREY SUIT OMG
@lucahaas ILYA ROZANOV LOOKS SO GOOD IN HIS BURGUNDY SUIT.
@wyatthayes this is hot.
@b00dramzane they look sooooooooooooooooooooooooo good together.
@tannerdillon what. no way. i had no idea.
@evandykstra What? Ilya Rozanov is no longer single? What am I going to do?!
@ilyarozanov81 you’re stuck with me now. 4eva.
@realshanehollander @ilyarozanov81 I’m exactly where I want to be ❤️
@svetlanavetrova 🤮 ❤️