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“Mr. Potts, I have a gift!” Tony exclaims as Pepper walks into his lab.
“Tony, I already told you, no more gifts.”
“Please? You would look amazing in it,” He sing-songs, rhythmically inching toward the box and holding it up for Pepper to see.
Pepper finally relents, rolling their eyes and taking the box from Tony’s hands. With a deep breath, they remove the lid, revealing a silver necklace with an amethyst pendant.
“It’s your birthstone,” Tony adds on.
Pepper looks up at Tony. “Thank you.”
“Anything for the best assistant in the world.” Pepper scoffs.
***
Virgil “Pepper” Potts is Tony Stark’s personal assistant of five years. He’s been there through the bad, the super-bad, the superhero, and this new phase of flirting and pretending to care like he’s not a renowned playboy.
Virginia is someone that no one except herself knows, someone that only comes out late at night when she doesn’t have anything to distract her from the fact that she's trapped in a body that's not hers. Virginia is a feeling she gets when she swipes on a secret layer of eyeshadow or imagines herself with the long hair of her youth.
***
Tony has a habit of paying for everything, and somehow not knowing the price of anything. He thinks a fast-food meal is $100, and that a $10,000 suit is something normal people can afford to have in their closet.
“Pepper, I got it for you,” Tony whines.
“I know! That’s why I’m about to kill you! Send it back, or something!”
“It’s fit to your exact measurements, though.”
Pepper can’t help the groan that comes from their mouth.
***
Pepper knows what the feeling is when she feels more “she” than “him”. She’s not stupid. She’s just in a tough place: the spotlight. The magazines would tear her apart, and what if Tony doesn’t like the new her and fires her?
She’s researched more, on the off chance that she ever feels confident enough to reveal her true self. She knows how to do makeup to hide masculine features, how to make her voice sound higher than the low rasp she was born with, and what surgeries are available. It's wishful thinking.
***
“Your hair’s getting quite long. Do you want me to book you a haircut with my guy?” Tony asks.
“I’m growing it out a bit.”
Tony moved past the discussion, and Pepper thought he didn’t care until a box showed up at their doorstep. Inside was at least $500 of hair growth products with a little note.
‘I think you would look quite pretty with long hair ;).’
***
Pepper has been reading a lot of coming out stories, a lot of advice from online forums. She knows she can’t legally be fired for her gender identity, but Tony is also one of the most influential men alive.
She read that subtly dropping hints is the best way to figure out someone's opinion, so she decides that can be her first course of action.
***
Pepper is sat in their office with nothing to do for once. Pulling out a snack and their phone, they play RuPaul’s Drag Race.
“Mr. Potts!” Tony sings, pushing the door open. “What’ya doin?”
This is the chance to drop hints, to see if she has a chance.
Pepper chews and turns the phone screen. Swallowing, they’re about to speak when Tony interrupts.
“RuPaul! Me and Rhodey watch this all the time!”
Pepper smiles wide, and Tony takes a seat next to them. They watch together until the reminder for Tony’s next meeting rings on Pepper’s phone.
***
It comes to a point where Pepper can’t do this anymore: the suffocating feeling of being trapped, the game of pretending to be like all of them. The smile she has to put on when she gets dressed in a pristine suit and stares at herself in the mirror, mentally picking apart every masculine feature.
She's overflowing, and it's ended up where she's fine with possibly losing her job, friends, and social status in order to be free.
***
Instead of slicking back her hair today, she allows it to flow freely to where it’s grown to shoulder length. It's a small change, but it somehow lessens the horrible weight on her chest.
She gets a small compliment of, “Your hair looks nice,” from the head of Legal, which leaves her smiling until she gets home.
***
Pepper pulls out the neglected makeup bag that's hidden in the bottom of her bathroom drawer. Watching a tutorial, she does something simple: a little bit of enhancement to her more feminine features, and some covering of her masculine. Last minute, with a strange surge of courage, she swipes a sparkly eyeshadow across her lids, and a pink tint on her lips.
Tony looks at her strangely in the meeting with legal. When everyone else leaves, he finally says, “I can’t figure it out, but you are just glowing today, Pepper. I don’t think you’ve ever looked better.”
Pepper replies with a smile as she gathers her files, walking out the door with more confidence than she came in with.
When she opens the top drawer in her desk, a mini eyeshadow palette with browns and golds sits there. The sticky note on top says, ‘You look better when you’re shining.’
***
After a month of slowly changing herself, she makes a big decision.
Instead of putting on the freshly dry-cleaned suit that hangs in the front of her closet, Pepper reaches for the blouse and pencil skirt that are buried behind years of masks.
The stares when she walks into the office are to be expected, but everyone carefully avoids the topic. She is their boss, after all.
But when she walks by Tony, he says nothing except, “The color of your top really brings out your eyes.”
If she gravitates towards blues when she goes shopping the next day, that's no one’s business but her own.
***
Tony finally confronts her after a week of wearing skirts.
They’re sitting in their shared office, each doing their own thing, but breathing the same air.
Tony sets down whatever it is he's tinkering around with and suddenly says, “Would you like to be called Ms. Potts now?”
With a grin, she replies, “Yes, please. But you can continue calling me Pepper.”
“Sure thing, Ms. Pepper Potts.”
***
“Here. I saw it and thought you would look amazing in it, and I couldn’t just not buy it.”
“Tony, this dress is more than $40,000!”
“But— just, you would look great in it!”
***
“Pepper. I know you think I’m childish and immature, but can you just give me a chance? I’ve been throwing my heart at you, and it hurts,” Tony dramatically confesses, putting a hand on his chest to emphasize it.
“I don’t know…” She looks up in faux thought, resting her chin on her fist, “I might need some more convincing.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I have a gift for you,” Tony says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a red box with gold patterns. He stands and walks to where she’s sitting, setting the box in front of her.
With a hesitant hand, she opens it, revealing a silver bracelet shining with diamonds. She knows what bracelet this is; she had just seen it in the luxury magazines the head of Legal keeps giving her.
“Tony, there’s no possible way in hell that you just gave me a $200,000 bracelet when we haven’t even gone on a first date, right?” Her words are separated and equal parts angry and disbelieving, her voice rising toward the end of the sentence.
“So you’ll go on a date with me?” Tony asks, hopeful.
Pepper groans and covers her face.