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Language:
English
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Published:
2026-07-07
Updated:
2026-07-07
Words:
178
Chapters:
1/?
Kudos:
1
Hits:
19

draft ppth fic

Summary:

"I need a consult." House leaned into his cane, staring at the carpet. Wilson sighed.

"Two minutes, House, I'm in a mentor meeting." He gestured across the desk.

"Not you, idiot, your intern. Treetop."

"Tina."

"Yeah, right. You-", he waved his hand in her general direction, "hallway, 90 seconds, bring your car keys."

Notes:

Bob's Burgers exists outside of time, therefore, Tina can intern at PPTH in high school while House and Wilson are still drama-ing up the place. I fully accept that this is ridiculous; leave your shame at the door and come along for the ride.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Failure to Lunch

Chapter Text

*************

The Tina Belcher Guide to Getting Together, Staying Together, and Making It Work: Your Handy Helper for Sussing Out Suspicious Situations, Popping the Perfect Proposal Question, Maintaining Magical Mirthful Relationships, and Keeping the Flame Alive Long Into Your Twilight Years.

Chapter 1: Setting the Stage

Hey girl hey. Welcome to The Tina Belcher Guide to-- you know what, you read the title. Hopefully. This is the only guide you'll ever need to make the relationship of your dreams a reality. Unless you're into witchcraft, then you don't even need this book (just a joke, ha ha ha).

 

*************

The door of Wilson's office popped open with a click. Odd, he thought, not to hear the handle crash into the adjacent wall as House appeared.

"I need a consult." House leaned into his cane, staring at the carpet. Wilson sighed.

"Two minutes, House, I'm in a mentor meeting." He gestured across the desk.

"Not you, idiot, your intern. Treetop."

"Tina."

"Yeah. I'll give you 90 seconds." He fixed his gaze on Tina. "You. Hallway. 80 seconds. Bring your car keys."

Notes:

I'm setting this version of Seymour's Bay near Keansburg, NJ, which is a small urban community with an amusement park, a ferry terminal, and if not Wonder Wharf, at least Ideal Beach. I realize the architecture isn't quite the same. PPTH is also at the easternmost edge of Plainsboro, so it's a ~45 minute drive between the two (completely reasonable for any self-respecting American).

Reference materials: Bob's Burgers, S9E12