Chapter Text
Pure Vanilla eyed the bowl Black Raisin had just pushed in front of him, a frown creasing his brow. His gaze lifted from the bowl to her face, an unassuming smile across it.
She’d dragged him all the way over to the Crow’s Nest Inn, sitting him down in the corner (conveniently the furthest place away from the door she could sit him) and insisting she ‘had something to give him’. Finding out what ‘something’ was had been… less than pleasant. He supposed he should’ve seen it coming.
“I got you something to eat.” Her hopeful eyes searched him for a long moment, watching him drag out the pause between when she spoke and when he replied. She’d seemingly not noticed the way his face had subtly fell as he’d registered what exactly she was giving him. She stood opposite him across the table, standing up and leaning forwards a little like she might intimidate him into taking at least a bite or two.
She’d always suspected something was up with his eating habits- ever since she’d noticed their village always mysteriously had approximately one cookie’s worth of food left over, food which only ever didn’t appear if she sat down to eat with him.
He fidgeted in his seat, the stiff wood being the finishing touch to the fact that he really, really didn’t want to be here. Just the cherry on top of his current suffering. His clothing was starting to feel significantly less comfortable with every passing second, but part of him still wished he’d sink into it and disappear.
“Ah, thank you. But- why?” His voice wavered ever so slightly, but he managed to hold back most of his nerves. He silently thanked his willpower for not letting him down- he must’ve been masking better than he thought. Black Raisin was usually much more observant than this. She’d gotten good at reading him, a task he’d previously assumed was impossible.
She raised an eyebrow, but quickly relaxed, grinning. “Well- you haven’t left the school since this morning, which means you’ve not had lunch.” She slid the wooden bowl closer, managing to accidentally spill some as she did- she’d admittedly pushed it towards him with a little more force than she’d really meant to- and he resisted the urge to gag. The soup was green, so already not a great start. He didn’t mind vegetable soups, sure, but that was more in a ‘I dislike all food equally’ way than a ‘they’re alright’ way. At the very least, they didn’t make him vomit as much as something more solid, so that was something they had going for them. Though- he didn’t doubt that even if he was perfectly okay with food and desperately starving, he’d still really not want to eat that.
Black Raisin, however, had somehow managed to let his expression of worry- which was soon going to end up being an expression of disgust if she didn’t eventually get the hint- fly right over her head. He wasn’t sure how she’d managed it- he was pretty certain he’d physically flinched at the sight of… whatever on Earthbread was in that soup.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “No- I brought some food in with me. I’m not-“
He would’ve finished that sentence with ‘hungry’, but he was interrupted by the growling of his own stomach, and he cut himself off from sheer embarrassment. He wrapped his arms around his chest, trying to ignore the empty feeling in his stomach he’d just been reminded of, face going redder. He lowered his head, letting his hat slide a little further forward on his head in the hopes it might hide his blush.
He supposed this inconvenient timing must’ve been some sort of punishment for lying to Black Raisin- he’d found that lying, once he’d gained his souljam, had become some sort of bad luck magnet, like he was breaking a mirror every time he lied.
Black Raisin leaned closer to him, raising an eyebrow, clearly having heard him. He bowed his head nervously, waiting for some sort of reprimand from her for lying.
She pulled one arm away from his chest- with some effort, given he’d really rather not give her a good long clear look at his torso without his arms covering it- and took one hand in hers, closing his hand over a spoon. She smiled again, though it seemed more playful than before, like she hoped if she didn’t seem too serious, she might have a better chance at convincing him. “You are hungry. At least eat a bite or two. I know my cooking isn’t that bad.”
He took his hand back from her grip, pulling it back to his chest. She was technically right- he was hungry, incredibly so. He’d already skipped breakfast, deciding he was much too busy with helping out at the school to bother with it. Bad idea, apparently. But despite his hunger, he didn’t plan on taking a single bite of whatever concoction she’d placed in front of him. Or anything she’d inevitably place in front of him later when she realised he wasn’t eating the soup.
“Black Raisin, seriously, I’ll be fine.” Technically not a lie, he reasoned. He could survive a lot longer than most on an empty stomach. He had his souljam to thank for that.
She raised both eyebrows now, still not believing him- he didn’t blame her, he didn’t think he’d believe her if the roles were reversed. He’d probably be shoving food down her throat if the roles were reversed, though, so maybe it was better they weren’t.
Her eyes narrowed. “No you won’t- you can’t just not eat.”
He would’ve argued he’d been fine doing pretty much exactly that, if not for the occasional meal when Hollyberry or someone made him eat, for the past few hundred years, but telling her that was probably worse than just eating this once and avoiding the topic for evermore, so he kept his mouth shut about it. “Just give it to one of the villagers. I’m sure someone’s hungry.”
Black Raisin, surprisingly, took the bowl from him. Relief flooded through him as she moved away, and offered the bowl to the nearest villager.
“Alright- do you want any of this?” She cocked her head to the side, resisting the slightest smile when they shook their head no.
She asked another villager, the one sat beside the first, and got the same answer- they didn’t want any, they’d already eaten lunch. Pure Vanilla’s heart sank further and further with each following ‘no’, having just realised exactly what Black Raisin was trying to get at.
She offered the bowl to the only other villager she hadn’t asked yet in the entire inn, and Pure Vanilla found himself both pleading they’d accept it and pleading that they wouldn’t. They shook their head, and Black Raisin turned back to Pure Vanilla, one eyebrow raised and a victorious grin on her face.
“No excuses.” She put the bowl back in front of him, leaning over him even more than before, seemingly believing she’d won. Admittedly, she had- he’d not foreseen every single villager not being hungry. Habit from living in the Raisin Village, he supposed- someone going hungry was sort of the default. Even though it was usually him.
He shook his head. “You haven’t asked everyone.”
She raised an eyebrow, not getting what he meant. “Yeah I have.” She glanced over her shoulder, half expecting to see someone and realise she had forgotten to ask someone, but found no one new. Yep, she’d definitely asked everyone.
“No.” He shook his head, took the bowl in his own hands, and offered it to her. “Do you want it?”
She paused, not quite sure what to say to the offer, then chuckled. “Clever. Fine. But I’ll only have any if it’s fifty-fifty between us. I’m not eating all of that for you.”
She moved away to grab a second spoon, then sat down next to him, leaning a little too close for his comfort- he was still feeling paranoid that any moment she might notice his body underneath the thick white cloak, and he shuffled a millimetre or two away from her like that would make a difference. He knew it wouldn’t, but he felt ever so slightly better being just that tiny distance further away from her.
“You’re taking the first bite.” She nudged his elbow with hers, pushing the bowl closer to him. Somehow, she’d managed to miss him trying not to gag. Again.
He swallowed thickly, stirring the soup absentmindedly but not moving to take a bite.
“I’m going to stay sat here until you do. Don’t even think about it.”
Pure Vanilla’s eyes searched her caring expression for any sense of hope he might get himself out of this- and found none. She was too close, much too close to him, close enough that he wanted to keep making minuscule shuffles away from her until he reached the door and left.
He tried not to gag on the first bite- and the last, he naively hoped- and she smiled, shoulders relaxing. It tasted alright- too thick and a few unpleasant lumps, but it could’ve tasted of heaven and he still would’ve wanted to cough it up anyway. His chest felt tight, but he managed to swallow.
“See? That wasn’t so hard.” She took the bowl from him, taking her own bite while he tried not to shudder at how little the bowl had gone down. It would probably take the two of them at least ten, maybe more, bites each to finish. Each. He didn’t even think he could make it to five. ‘Wasn't so hard’ was the understatement of the century.
She pushed the bowl back towards him, and he jolted straight his slouched shoulders, not even having noticed how he’d been sat. Throat tight, he moved to take another bite, but found his hands were shaking much too severely to eat without spilling half of every spoonful over himself. Admittedly that wasn’t an overly unpleasant option- he’d rather wear the soup than eat it anyway- but one look from Black Raisin told him that wasn’t going to be a good enough excuse.
“Are you making your hands shake on purpose? If you spill all of that, I’ll just make more.” She grinned like she’d figured out some joke he’d made- he hadn’t, his hands were genuinely shaking from just the thought of eating. It sounded pathetic, but it was true. He imaged he probably looked pathetic right now too- red face from embarrassment, wet eyes from trying not to cry, and shaky hands from just the prospect of having to eat more than a single spoonful.
“No-!” He shook his head, tears threatening to make their presence known in his voice despite his efforts to hide them. “I’m not. It's just… it’s nothing. I’m fine. I'll eat it.”
Her eyebrows furrowed, eyes locked on his hands which were shaking more than ever, disbelief practically etched onto her face. “You can barely hold the spoon. Give me that before you burn yourself-!”
He sipped from the spoon, spilling most of it- obviously, given he’d flinched his entire arm away from her when she’d reached for it, not wanting to be fed like a picky toddler- but apparently taking enough of a bite to satisfy Black Raisin.
“There. It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t need you to feed me.” He set down his spoon, not meeting her eyes- as confidently as he might’ve just stated that, he knew deep down he wasn’t taking another spoonful without her having to guide his hand. In public. If he didn’t already want to run away, he definitely did now.
She was still grinning, somehow- maybe the point was to attempt to calm him down, but if it was, it wasn’t working. If anything, it was just stressing him out. He decided she must’ve gone blind.
“Are you sure? You look…” Her smile faltered a little as her voice trailed off, like she’d just now registered that his expression was not at all positive. Her hand crept tentatively towards his, tightly gripped onto the table, but he relaxed his clenched muscles for a moment to move it away. Her eyes narrowed. “You look sick. Are you feeling alright?”
She was right- he did look sick, and he certainly felt sick, but he was that if he told her she was right, she’d take that as an excuse. She just wouldn’t believe him. Right? He didn’t get sick, and the both of them knew that. As much as the slow twisting in his stomach might protest that that wasn’t true.
He nodded weakly through the pounding in his head. “Yeah. I'm alright. Just…” He searched for some excuse she might believe- she wouldn’t believe the truth. “I dislike the taste. Sorry.” That technically wasn’t a lie, he reassured himself. That was just because he disliked food in general, but she didn’t have to know that.
“What? I thought you liked soups.” Her frown deepened in confusion and what might’ve been disbelief if he could bring himself to focus on her face long enough to tell. “I remember, in the village, you told me about your childhood with the soup your mother used to make.”
She looked down at his hands, still clenched over both his spoon and the edge of the table, a sheepish blush creeping into her cheeks. “I tried copying the recipe from what you told me. I guess I didn’t do a very good job.”
He stared back to the soup bowl, feeling much worse then he had before. He’d gone so long without food, that he’d forgotten the proper taste of his own mother's cooking. His memories of any of his relatives were scarce enough as they were. And now he’d lost this too.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Oh, right. I didn’t recognise it. My tastes have changed a lot, I suppose.” Again, not a lie. He’d been too busy trying not to gag to recognise that he’d tasted this before.
She stirred her spoon in the soup gently, staring at him in silence. She looked thoughtful, but kept quiet and just sipped from her own spoon before pushing the soup closer to him again.
He stared at it, then at her. Another spoonful… he didn’t think he’d make it, stomach churning at just the thought of trying, begging for no more. He bit his lip nervously.
“You know, I’m not that hungry. You should finish the rest-”
Her eyes narrowed. “No. We’re not leaving until this bowl is empty and at least half of it is emptied by you.”
Right. That wasn't going to work, as much as he’d naively hoped it might. Well, he still wanted to gag at the thought of trying to force another bite, so he either had to figure something else out soon or this would end with vomit.
He pushed his spoon back into the bowl, purposely putting more force than he really should have into it, jolting the side of the bowl to ‘accidentally’ throw the contents across the table. He felt himself relax for but a moment before her voice cut into his thoughts.
“You did that on purpose!” She crossed her arms over her chest, like she was scolding a small child. To be honest, that didn’t feel overly far fetched at the moment, Pure Vanilla practically cowering beneath her, looking smaller than he already was from his fear of her tone.
“That wasn’t on purpose…”
“I watched you do it! You thought about it, put the spoon down normally, and then spilled it!” She was shouting now, not quite loud enough to attract the attention of anyone outside of the few villagers closest to their table, but louder enough to get her message across. Her expression slowly softened at how he’d reacted, though, looking almost remorseful for yelling at him. “Sorry, I… shouldn’t have told you I would make you eat all of that.”
He wanted to die. She’d noticed. What else was she noticing, that she just hadn’t pointed out yet? What if she knew? What if she knew everything-?
She stood up, putting that same smile back on at his expression, interrupting his downward spiral. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down before his quiet panicked tears stopped being quiet.
“I’ll bring out some more. Stay here- don’t get any ideas about running off.” She smiled, turned away from him, and stood in the middle of the inn, her finger pointed a little accusatorially at him. “Hey! Under no circumstances is he allowed to leave here, alright?”
A few villagers glanced at him, looking confused, but Black Raisin had already walked back into the kitchen, and he didn’t feel like answering their questions. He felt like putting his head on the table and passing out.
No- he couldn’t do that. He’d just brought himself time. A few minutes, maybe, just until she came back, but that felt like enough. Enough of a head start to lock himself where she wouldn’t find him. Long enough to erase his trail.
But- the villagers. A few still kept glancing over at him, staring at him, probably the only thing keeping his tears inside.
He stood up, testing the waters. Just to see if anyone would stop him. No one did. One seemed like they might object, but he caught their eyes and they shyed away. That was a good sign. Maybe they were too scared of him to stop him. He could address the connotations of that later.
He took a few nervous steps forward, and the first villager stood, not to block him, just to call out.
“Pure Vanilla- Black Raisin told us to keep you here. Where are you going?”
His grip on his staff tightened. They’d attracted the others’ attention now, just when he’d hoped he might get away without a hitch. “I’ll be back. I just need a moment outside.”
He couldn’t tell if they believed a word he was saying from beneath the bag they had over their head, but he got the impression they definitely didn't just from their voice. “I don’t know. Black Raisin said under no circumstances. You can’t wait until she comes back?”
He shook his head desperately- they were unintentionally right. He couldn’t wait until Black Raisin got back. “No, I just- just let me go, okay?” His voice got more desperate, even though deep down he feared nothing he said would change any of their minds.
He took another few steps towards the door, but one villager closer to the door stood, moving in front of it, blocking his path. Heart sinking, he realised moving closer had only stirred more villagers. Moving closer had only made it harder for him to escape. Maybe he should’ve just ran for it from the start.
The villager in front of the door crossed their arms over their chest. “No. Black Raisin was clear with what she meant. You stay here.”
Crumbs- he had even less reason to stay now, given he hardly wanted Black Raisin to come back, find him mid-failed escape, and then still force him to eat anyway. He couldn’t let that happen.
He held his staff in front of him, not looking more than mildly threatening, but the villager in front of the door flinched a little. He tried not to let that prick tears in his eyes. “If you don’t move… I’ll have to make you.”
Unfortunately, the villagers knew him too well. They knew he’d never hurt them. So, they stayed stood steadfast in front of that door.
Fortunately, they didn’t know him well enough to foresee what he was about to do.
He summoned a small ball of golden light in front of the door, beneath their feet. They glanced at it, confused for a moment, before he grew it and they realised what he was doing, and had to forcibly step out of the way. A shield. Since it was his own, he could walk through it himself perfectly fine, but no one else could. If anyone tried blocking his path, the shield would simply push them aside. They wouldn’t even be hurt. That was the most peaceful way he could think of to get them all to move. He certainly didn’t want to have to physically shove anyone.
Once his shield was big enough that no one stood in his path, he took one last guilty glance at the villagers around him. “I’m sorry- I really hope Black Raisin doesn’t blame you for this.”
And with that, he left, barely lasting a few steps away before he broke into a sprint, tears pricking his eyes that he hoped his speed hid from everyone he ran past. It didn't matter. He was away from the inn, and that was all that was important right now.
Black Raisin glanced over her shoulder once before the door to the inn’s kitchen swung shut. It was hardly a secret she didn’t trust Pure Vanilla not to leave the moment he had the opportunity to. She wasn’t blind, she’d seen his face twist in disgust at her offer, but she’d just wanted solid proof he was avoiding his food on purpose. Maybe he was telling the truth about just disliking the soup, and she’d re-enter the inn to find he was still there. But, she couldn’t stop herself from seriously doubting it.
Which was why, instead of pouring a second bowl of soup out, she unlocked the old wooden door- the one even Pure Vanilla had forgotten about, it was so old- and slipped on out. Worst case scenario, she’d find he hadn’t left at all, and could just bring him some food inside like she’d said. She doubted she’d be back in the inn anytime soon.
Written by a human in Ellipsus.