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Everyone has scars. Mental, physical, intendend or accidental.
This includes Sanemi, Obanai and Giyuu who all carries mental and physical.
Sanemi uses his rare blood to lure demons which causes them. Obanai has a slit across his mouth from his childhood. Giyuu has sh scars all over his arms and some on his thighs. Both Obanai and Giyuu cover theirs in shame and insecurity meanwhile Sanemi flaunts his.
One day, after training the trio decides to hang out, simply, talk. When Obanai and Sanemi paused to look out on the gorgeous golden hour a voice cuts in.
“ why is it you flaunt your scars? “ Giyuu asked into the air.
Both the other men turned to him, they were closer and more warmed up to Giyuu than before, yet it still felt unusual for Tomioka to ask such personal questions.
Coming to think of it, Obanai had also wondered the same question at first, why show off his scars for everyone to see, why let everyone judge if he was weak or not based of them.
“ Eh, I don't really know “ he sighs, looking over at the two, the only one looking back being Obanai.
“ I guess they're just a part of me I would like to embrace, make them feel like a trophy rather than a loss, showing that I made it out alive. “ He continued
“ Poetic, never thought that would come from you Sanemi “ Obanai snarks jokingly, smiling behind his mask.
The two playfully fight for a little bit while Giyuu stares off into space.
A trophy..Not a loss..Not a sign of weakness, but something you've…survived.
Sanemi now turns to Obanai, curious “ Do you have any scars? Like, under your mask? “ He says curiously, not intending to break into his personal space or matters.
The serpent pillar thinks about it for a few seconds, should he answer truthfully or not? He thought of Sanemi’s words, how he wore his scars as a trophy. Maybe, he could share that part with him- or them.
“ I do. “ He answers truthfully. “ It's one I cover up in fear of being thought of as weak, something I despise about myself, something reminding me of my past. “
He starts working on the bandages.
Now Giyuu looked up, neither of them had seen what was under Obanai’s mask.
As he finally unwraps the last bandage covering his mouth, both the men were shocked. They had thought of many things to be under the mask, neither of them had thought it to be this.
He felt uncomfortable with both Sanemi and Giyuu looking at his face
“ It's from my childhood. “ he says, leaving no room for conversation.
He decides to leave it out, letting it finally feel some fresh air before he turns to Giuuu
“ Hey- you were the one who asked the question, but you don't have any scars? “ He asks, now making Sanemi wonder too.
“ True, we’ve never seen any “ Shinazugawa says accusingly.
Giyuu stiffens a little, looking away, turning his face to the side. He was more tense than usual, shifting slightly.
“ Oh come on, we’ve shown ours? Just do it! “ Sanemi pushes, meanwhile Obanai tells Sanemi to calm down and let Tomioka take his time.
Giyuu turns back his head slightly, the side of his face now visible. He slowly rolls up the sleeve of his haori and uniform to reveal some bandages.
At first Obanai and Sanemi thought they were just gonna be scars from fighting demons which made them a little annoyed at the fact that he had tensed up and taken his time.
But when the bandages started to fall, revealing scars a little too straight they realised what they were. They were shocked, to say the least.
The amount was quite the lot. Some seemed like they were years ago while others were worryingly new, both white and purple.
They were quiet for a bit which made Giyuu feel sick.
“ what the fuck tomioka!? “ Sanemi yelled
Finally, something rather than awkward quietness.
He listens as Sanemi takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. As he simply listens, his gaze glides over to iguro. He seems lost in thought, also seeming to look at the newer and purple ones.
“ do you- “ Sanemi took a deep breath “ do you do it anywhere else? “ He asked
“ ..just a few on my thighs..” he hesitates, then he continues “ like you said..theyre trophies, yet..even when all scars are beautiful, I can't bear to look at mine. “
They look at him, eyes different. Even when they had already started to warm up to each other, venting sometimes, Giyuu usually stayed quiet, or went over to Sanemi’s estate to simply, exist, or have a shoulder to lean on.
Now they had finally discovered why he acts the way does. This brings up a question in Iguro’s mind. One he has thought of committing in the past, but healing.
“ Have you ever tried to kill yourself? “ He asks.
Both Sanemi and Giyuu look at him concerned, ones concern etched further into their face and the others into their eyes. Yet as the question hung in the air, it was not answered.
A few seconds later, another question was thrown out there
“ Have you? “
Giyuu’s face looked empty rather stoic when he asked the question. It was quiet for a while again before Obanai answered
“ I have only thought about it “ He answers
Yet they thought it obvious, hasn’t everyone in the top rank ever thought so?
Thought they deserved it after they failed to save someone, when they thought of their dead family members, their beauty, their size. Everyone had struggles, even so, everyone's struggles are equally important. Others may think that somebody's struggles are worth more than yours yet, they're wrong.
Giyuu turns his head slightly to Sanemi. He was looking out into space and thinking, just..thinking.
Sanemi soon notices Giyuu’s empty yet soft gaze and realizes he’s also supposed to answer.
He sighs and sits down “ I mean, haven't we all? “ he says as he looks over to the two guys “ back to you Tomioka, have you ever tried to? “ he asks.
“..two times..” he breathes.
The others look back at him in both curiosity and..pity.
“ one time when my-..when my best friend died, the other on my sister's birthday..this year..✿✿ ✿✿..”
The hashira looked shocked, that was recent, too recent.
“ Tomioka..” Obanai starts “ that was like 1 or 2 months ago! “ he says now a little panicked
He doesn't move, doesn't change his expression. Yet, when he does, he shifts his arm so you could see the radial artery of his wrist.
There.
A long, thin scar lined the veins. Holy shit.
Everyone in the corps had seen gore, intense, very. Yet, looking at this was too much for both of them. It felt weird, as if they were gonna puke. The fact that somebody had done this to themselves, in an attempt to stop living, to reach the gates of heaven, to get a peaceful mind.
Tears started to well in his eyes slightly, he saw the way Sanemi looked away, how Obanai’s face scrunched up. In his eyes, they were disgusted with him.
He hastily rolled on the bandages again before he stood up and started leaving before quickly stopping and whispering.
“ Thank you for being warmed up enough to share this personal info with me. “
Then, he continued to walk away, leaving the two of them to think alone. Letting them process everything, what he had done and what the person next to them had thought about.