Chapter Text
Today marks Ze's 10th birthday! He’s bursting with excitement as the sun peeks through his bedroom window, casting a warm glow on the walls adorned with cheerful drawings. His mom and sisters promised him a gift and cake this year, just like a normal birthday should be celebrated! How could he not be bubbling with joy? Normally, on his birthday, nothing special would happen. In fact, his father would often ignore the occasion entirely. But this year, something felt different; his father had actually approved of celebrating! Ze could hardly contain his anticipation.
He leaps out of bed, practically skipping as he flings open his closet. The first clothes that catch his eye, a mismatched pair of shorts and a shirt, are quickly thrown on as he races down the hallway, the sound of his footsteps echoing in the still morning air. Reaching the kitchen, he’s met with both his sisters, Lilly and Mia, already seated at the dining table, their eyes sparkling with mischief, and his mom, who stands behind them, her smile radiant yet tinged with something unspoken. His father, rigid as ever, sits at the head of the table, his expression unreadable.
"Good morning!" Ze calls out, unable to hide the enormous grin stretching across his face. His heart dances as he takes in the scene, a sight he never took for granted.
"Good morning, Ze! Take a seat at the table, okay?" His mom’s voice has a warmth that feels like a hug, but there’s an underlying tension that makes Ze’s stomach twist slightly.
"Okay!" he chirps, hopping into a chair. As he settles in, he surveys everyone at the table. While his sister's eyes dart nervously, his mother’s expression wavers between joy and apprehension, and his father appears stoic, an immovable statue.
Then, a generous slice of cake is placed before him. Chocolate, rich and decadent. A whisper of disbelief crosses his mind as he remembers how often his father had told him he didn’t deserve such simple pleasures. His heart flutters at the thought. Maybe his father is thinking differently about him now? The thought brings an unguarded smile to his face.
"Now, Ze... before we give you your gift... there's something your father would like to tell you," his mother's voice shakes, and the tremor shoots through the room like a lightning bolt, clipping Ze's joy before it can soar.
He turns to meet his father's gaze, feeling the heavy atmosphere wrap around him like a shroud.
"Yes, Father?" He slips into the formal tone he adopted long ago, a learned behavior aimed at softening his father’s harsh demeanor.
"You are becoming a man now, Ze. Which means if you want to stay in this family, you will go to a special school." The coldness in his father's voice slices through the air, making Ze’s heart drop.
"A special school? What does that mean?" he asks, his youthful curiosity battling the growing dread within him. Even as he speaks, one of his sisters stands suddenly, her chair scraping against the floor as she bolts from the room, her face pale, as if she were about to be sick; she couldn’t bear to hear any more.
"You will be attending a boot camp. If you do not wish to go, then I will have no choice but to throw you out on the streets like the scum you are.” The venom in his father's words is palpable. Ze flinches visibly, the sting seeping deep into his bones. “It is not much different from home. However, they are a lot stricter than I am."
The hopeful smile that had been blossoming on Ze’s face withered, wilted by the searing reality of his father’s ultimatum. He should have seen it coming, right? Only moments ago, he had tasted the sugary sweetness of hope; now it soured in his mouth. Why was this happening to him?
He feels the panic rise, fear twisting his thoughts. He didn’t want to be banished or thrown out like refuse. But the chilling implication behind, 'they are a lot stricter than I am,' began to settle into his mind, worming its way into his heart. There are people worse than his father? What kind of monsters were out there? His pulse quickened, his breath became shallow; he felt trapped in a storm of emotions. Why was his life always so cruel? Why did he always have to face such terrible realities?
To understand this better, one must grasp the depth of Ze's father’s malevolence. Ze is often the only target when it comes to abuse, both physical and mental. But why? The truth, unfortunately, lies in a tangled web of family secrets. His mother had an affair that led to her becoming pregnant with Ze, the product of a love she deemed too risky to nurture fully. She chose to stay with her husband, albeit for selfish reasons driven by security and wealth. The sacrifice? Ze was to become his ‘father's’ personal punching bag, a scapegoat for all his frustrations.
No matter how innocent he was, Ze quickly learned that his presence seemed to invite trouble. With verbal tirades echoing in his ears by the time he turned two, and at the tender age of four, the cycle of physical abuse began. Each cry for safety was met with more anger, and every plea transformed his mother’s gaze from concern to indifference as she prioritized her financial stability over her children's well-being.
Despite the love he tried to show and his desperate attempts to fit into the mold of what his father wanted, it became painfully clear that nothing could save him. The beatings escalated over time, until even on a good day, he would receive punishment without provocation.
One memory etched into his mind was from when he was seven years old. He had excelled in school, proudly bringing home a perfect test score. Fueled by hope, he diligently completed all chores and helped with dinner, staying quiet as silence was his faithful companion. That evening, he presented his father with a handmade mug, lovingly decorated with a message: "I love you with all of my heart, to the best dad in the world!" The approval he sought was celebrated by only a nod, a momentary flicker of pride on his father's face.
But later that night, in the suffocating darkness of midnight, his father invaded his sanctuary, yanking him from the safety of his bed. Fear washed over him like a tidal wave as his father’s rage erupted without warning. A heavy object struck his head, shattering the fragile night, and blood streamed from the gash, blinding him momentarily.
“You are such a disdainful child! I fucking HATE you. All you do is take up space in this fucking house!” The venomous words carved into his soul, marking him with despair. Each blow was a visceral reminder of his worthlessness, etching disappointment deeper into his being.
The warm embrace of childhood innocence was stripped away, leaving behind only tension and fear. He learned that love was a fragile, elusive thing, often drowned in bitterness and pain. And so he sat there at the table, his heart a battleground, struggling to comprehend how one day could twist from cake and celebration to the churning depths of dread and despair.
Ze took a shaky breath and began to speak. "I—I'll do it, Father. If that's—"
"That's BULLSHIT! They could kill him! He's TEN. What are you thinking?!" His sister Mia slammed her hands on the table, standing quickly as she yelled at the man across from them, her voice a mix of anger and despair. "Boot camp?!?! BOOT CAMP?!? Don't you HEAR yourself?"
"It is MY decision where this child goes. This matter does not concern you. Unless you would like to be thrown out with him?!" His father’s voice boomed through the kitchen, radiating authority and a fierce anger that sent a shiver down Ze’s spine. Mia shut her mouth, knowing there was nothing she could say to make this madman reconsider. She shot a look of disdain at her mother, whose eyes flickered nervously as if silently pleading for her to intervene, but they both knew she wouldn’t.
"It's okay, Mia..! If this is Father's wishes, then I must do it.." Ze spoke, though the quiver in his voice betrayed the fear he felt deep within. What did Mia mean by her words? Was it really that bad?
"Good. Then it's settled. You leave in two days from now," his father declared, the finality of it hanging in the air like a dense fog. Ze nodded slowly, his gaze flickering between his sister’s distressed expression and his father’s cold demeanor.
"Eat your cake now, Ze... and then I will give you your gift, dear," his mother finally spoke, clapping her hands once, forcing a warm smile at the boy. He lifted his fork, taking a small bite of the cake. As soon as he tasted it, a wave of comfort washed over him, momentarily pushing aside the worries gnawing at his mind. It tasted better than he thought it would. He even forgot his unfortunate situation for a brief minute as he savored the dessert, feeling warmth flood his heart. Each bite was a fleeting moment of bliss, and he savored them slowly, wishing he could live in this bubble of happiness just a little longer. But as he scraped the last bite from the plate, disappointment settled in. He knew this happiness wouldn’t last forever, not in his world.
Once he put away his dishes, Lilly returned, holding a small box that was plain and unadorned, lacking any semblance of celebration. She set it carefully in front of Ze, who looked at it with curious trepidation, unsure about what was inside. He had never asked for anything specific; after all, he didn't know what he could hope for. It wasn't as if he had ever had toys or even clothes that truly fit him. He thought fleetingly how much he needed a new pair of shoes since his were so worn they barely held together.
As he opened the box, he discovered a black stuffed cat with vibrant blue eyes and white paws. His eyes widened as he held it carefully, afraid that even the slightest squeeze might break this fragile offering.
"Do you like it?" Mia asked softly, her previous anger dissipated, replaced with a nervous hope. "Me and Lilly thought it would be something nice that you can carry around with you... In the belly pocket, there's even a picture of us three."
Intrigued, he turned the cat over to see what she meant. He found the zipper and, gently pulling it open, discovered a small picture tucked inside. It was a snapshot of the three of them, all smiles, arms wrapped around each other in a moment of pure joy. A genuine smile broke across his face as he looked at it, warmth flooding his heart despite the heaviness of the day. After placing the picture back in its pocket, he replied wholeheartedly, “Thank you so much... truly... I will forever treasure this.”
His sisters had always been there for him, their love shining through even in the darkest moments. They understood the pain he endured, the challenges posed by their father’s wrath. They recognized that their mother, though loving in her own way, had turned a blind eye to the suffering happening right beneath her nose. They stood up for him time and time again, taking the hits meant for him. They had snuck food to him when he wasn’t fed enough and even searched for clothes they no longer fit into, just to give him something new. To Ze, they were the only family that mattered.
Feeling the weight of the moment, he gently set the stuffed cat down on the table, knowing he couldn’t sit there forever; he didn’t want to lose his gift as quickly as he’d received it. Determined, he got up from his chair and began to clean off the table, picking up dirty dishes and wiping crumbs away. The mundane task offered him a strange comfort, a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos of his life. Once he finished, he headed to wash up, the simple act grounding him.
As he made his way back to his room, he was intercepted by Mia, who had been waiting for him. Her face bore a serious expression, and she leaned in close, whispering urgently, “Ze... I think... we should run away. You, me, and Lilly…”
He shook his head slowly in response. “You know that is a bad idea... I’ll be okay,” he whispered back firmly, though doubt crept into his mind. She looked at him with an intensity that pierced through his bravado, a raw understanding of his hidden fear. Tears began to spill down her face, and instinctively, Ze pulled her into a hug, trying to bring her comfort while grappling with his own emotions. He fought to hold back his own tears, but quiet, choked sobs escaped him, their whispers blending into the silence surrounding them.
They remained like that for a few minutes, holding each other tightly, trying to absorb the warmth between them, a second of peace in their turbulent world. Finally, Ze mustered a whisper as he felt her trembling, “I promise I’ll be okay, Mia... thank you for worrying about me.” Deep down, he wasn’t sure if he believed his own words, but he desperately wanted to be strong for her, to be the anchor amidst the storm swirling around them.
They settled onto his bed, leaning against each other until their eyelids grew heavy, eventually falling into a deep slumber, each wishing for a brighter tomorrow in a world that felt all too heavy.
Two days had passed since Ze's birthday, but the joy of that day had faded like the spark of a dying flame. Instead, the reality of his impending departure hung over him, heavy and suffocating. Today was the day he would leave for boot camp, and as the sun filtered through his bedroom window, it did little to warm his heart.
Ze sat on the edge of his bed, staring blankly at the walls adorned with his cheerful drawings. They felt like relics from a different life, a life that seemed so far removed from the fear and uncertainty that now plagued him. He couldn’t shake the cold grip of anxiety tightening around him since the night his father had issued that dreadful ultimatum. What kind of place awaited him? Would it really be worse than home?
His backpack lay open on the floor, haphazardly packed with the few belongings he dared to bring. Within it was the stuffed kitty his sisters gave him, a sketchbook bursting with dreams of escape, and a couple of changes of clothes.
Hesitating, Ze took a deep breath and pushed himself to stand. The journey down the hallway felt like a march toward an uncertain fate. As he reached the kitchen, he was greeted by a familiar scene: his mother at the counter, and his sisters, Lilly and Mia, stirring in their chairs, trying to act as if everything was normal.
“Good morning, Ze,” his mother said, her voice gentle yet strained. This morning felt different, charged with emotions that hung thick in the air.
“Morning,” he replied, his heart heavy. He sat down but had little appetite for the breakfast before him.
“Are you ready for today?” Lilly asked, her tone had an attempt at cheerfulness, but Ze saw the worry hiding in the corners of her smile.
“I guess,” he answered, forcing a small smile that didn’t touch his heart.
His mother leaned over, placing a hand on his shoulder, her touch warm but laden with unspoken indifference and fear.
“It’s a new beginning. You’re going to do great,” she said.
As he picked absently at his food, the silence in the room felt oppressive. He could feel his father’s presence looming like a storm cloud, ready to burst.
Finally, his father broke the heavy silence.
“Remember what I told you, Ze.” The words hung sharply in the air. “If you want to stay in this family, you need to take this seriously.”
Ze nodded, swallowing hard, the pressure of his father’s expectations weighing heavily on him. He had spent his entire life trying to earn his father’s approval, but it had always felt just out of reach.
“I will, Father,” he finally said, his voice small.
After breakfast, the tension in the house reached a boiling point as the minutes ticked down to the departure. Each second felt like an eternity, stretching his nerves thin. Ze stood at the front door, backpack slung over one shoulder, staring into the world outside, a world he was about to enter, fraught with uncertainty.
Turning back one last time, he saw his mother’s face, a mixture of love, indifference and despair swirling in her eyes, and his sisters, who were trying hard not to show their distress. The moment felt monumental, like the closing of a chapter he wasn’t ready to end. Sure, his home life wasn’t perfect, far from it, really, but he was horrified to leave it all behind.
“Let’s go,” his father said, voice devoid of any warmth. With a deep breath, Ze stepped over the threshold into a future that seemed more ominous with every step. The weight of expectations and fears pressed down on him as the car pulled away, taking him ever closer to the boot camp that would test him in ways he never imagined. Would he find a strength within himself amidst the uncertainty, or would he simply become lost among the shadows?