Chapter Text
From the moment I watched that TV program I knew I wanted to dedicate my life to music. The grace and delicacy the idols danced and sang with left me speechless, but the expression Felix had is something I’ll never forget.
“Channie, look at them dancing! I love them!” Felix exclaimed.
“Yeah, they’re fantastic… I’ve never seen Felix smile like this…” Chan thought. “I wish I could make him smile like that every time… I know! To make Felix happy, I’ll become an idol!”
“Channie? Are you there? They are going to keep singing!”
“Huh? Yes, of course.”
“Channie, you think we could go to a concert like this in the future?”
“Hum… I’m completely sure!”
“You think so? Since I spend so much time at the hospital…”
“Of course I do! You’ll be doing better soon, I promise…”
Chan was getting ready for another day, as always. He usually woke up earlier than usual so he could get ready on time and be able to practice his dancing and singing before having to go to class. This used to bother his parents, but they eventually got used to it.
“Chan, we’re going to be late!” Felix exclaimed from outside the bedroom.
“I’ll come out in a minute”
Chan finished his morning practice and tidied his bedroom, fixed his hair and went to grab his phone. Suddenly, he saw the screen shine.
“Huh? What was that?” Chan asked as he turned on his phone and checked it quickly. He noticed the music player. “Untitled? I don’t remember downloading anything new…”
Still unsure, Chan hit play on that song, thinking nothing would play, being a corrupted file he’d have to delete, but instead his phone shined again, this time brighter. After being blinded for a few seconds, Chan opened his eyes, finding himself in an unknown place filled with stages and audience.
“Wh-where am I?!” Chan exclaimed, looking around. “That many stages… and the red color… Why is it so nostalgic?”
“Hi, Chan!” someone called out.
“M-Miku?! Hatsune Miku?! What is Hatsune Miku doing inside my phone?!”
“Welcome! I was waiting for the moment you’d find us!” someone else said.
“Gakupo too?! What is going on?!”
“This is your SEKAI, a virtual world created by your feelings, along with three others.” Miku explained.
“Three… other people?”
“Yes, but they don’t matter right now.” Gakupo said. “Tell me, Chan, do you remember what your dream is?”
“My dream? Being a famous idol, obviously!”
“Yeah, and what else?” Miku asked.
“Uh… bringing hope to… to everyone!” Chan didn’t seem too convinced about his own answer.
“Yes! You completely forgot.”
“And what do you know?! My dream is to become a big idol, and no one will stop me.”
“Yes, Chan, but you must remember where that dream came from… Until next time.” Gakupo said.
“Wh-what does that mean?!”
Before the Virtual Singers could answer, Chan was once again blinded by that shine, returning to his room.
“What was that…? Remember what…?” Chan mumbled.
“Chan, we need to go now!” Felix exclaimed, now coming in Chan’s room.
“Y-yeah, sorry!”
Both boys were walking together, while Chan kept thinking about what Gakupo said. Felix noticed that his brother was quieter than usual, but he didn’t want to bother him by asking. The high school Felix was going to attend from then on was on the same way as Chan’s, so they’d stop there first.
“Are you nervous, Felix?” Chan asked.
“Huh? Well, kinda, but I’m also excited.” Felix replied, before getting lost in his thoughts again. Thoughts about things he’d never want Chan to know.
“Well, don’t worry. You’ve been waiting for this day for a long time, and if anything happens you just need to call me. You know that, right?”
“Of course! I’ll call you if I feel bad or something.”
Finally, they made it to Felix’s high school. They said their goodbyes and, since it was extremely late, Chan needed to run. Still, he made it in time before his teacher arrived.
“I don’t even know how I arrived in time…” Chan thought. “What’s going on?”
“What’s everyone doing outside?” one of his classmates asked, looking outside the classroom.
“Hey, isn’t that…?” another classmate tried to ask.
“I-it’s Lee Minho!” a third classmate exclaimed.
“Lee Minho?! From Ec1ipse?!” Chan asked.
Chan really admired Minho as an idol, and he was his biggest inspiration. He couldn’t understand why Minho was at his high school, so he went outside with his classmates and, after pushing several students, they could see Minho.
“Are you sure you don’t want to use the credit system? It’ll suit you better.” Minho’s teacher asked.
“No; as I said, Ec1ipse disbanded, and I retired. I’m just a normal student.” Minho replied, going into the classroom.
The classroom Minho went into was right next to Chan’s, so some students decided to spy on Minho until their teacher arrived.
“Well, as you may imagine, we have a new classmate.” the teacher said. “Please, make him feel welcome. Introduce yourself.”
“I’m Lee Minho, I studied here until I finished middle school, but I didn’t attend during high school because of work. I hope we can get along well.”
“Alright, take a seat and we’ll start with the class.”
Inside Chan’s classroom they were still discussing Minho’s surprise appearance at the school.
“I’m so jealous… Why can’t Minho be in our class instead?” one of the classmates asked.
“I wonder if… he could help me…” Chan thought, still processing everything.
A few hours later, during recess, Minho was trying to have his food in peace… nonexistent peace.
“Let’s ask Minho how it feels to be famous!” one student exclaimed.
“Dude, he just retired, he probably doesn’t want to talk about that right now.” another one said.
“I knew this would happen… I wonder if there’s a place where I can eat in peace…” Minho thought.
Minho came up with the perfect place to hang out: the rooftop. Having such a big courtyard, a cafeteria, and being able to hang out in the classrooms, the rooftop had to be empty…
“Alright, I was looking forward to practice today!” Chan exclaimed, preparing his practice stuff. “In today’s schedule I have… singing practice, breathing exercises, and later they will come to-”
Suddenly, the door opened.
“Ah…”
“M-Minho?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know there was someone here already…”
“D-don’t worry. You need some peace, right?”
“Honestly, yeah… I didn’t think so many people here would recognize me” Minho went to sit beside the fence.
“Well, after all, you’re- you’ve been the biggest idol these past years…”
“Hey, are you… Chan, by any chance?”
“Y-yes? How… did you know?”
“You were pretty popular in the company… we’d never seen someone fail 20 auditions in a row.”
“I mean, I want to be famous, but not like this…”
“Don’t worry, I know you’ll pass soon. By the way, what were you doing here?”
“Ah, I usually spend recess practicing and rehearsing, and the rooftop is the only place where the teachers don’t ask me to shut up.”
“Then I should leave…”
“No! I-I mean, I don’t mind you being here.”
“Won’t I make you nervous?”
“A bit… But it’s fine. Maybe you can give me singing advice? Since it’s the first thing I wanted to practice today?”
“I’m not sure if I’ll be of any help. Singing wasn’t my thing.”
“Still, I’d like to hear a professional’s opinion.”
Chan was actually more nervous than he appeared to be; he didn’t warm up, he didn’t even know what song he’d use, and he was going to sing to his favorite idol. Even if it was risky, he decided to sing one of Ec1ipse’s songs. When he finished, he looked eager to hear what Minho thought.
“Well… The only thing I noticed was that you ran out of air in some parts, and that affected your rhythm, but other than that… Your voice is really pretty, and I don’t think you sang out of tune in any part”
“R-really?”
“Yes, really. If you work on that I don’t think you’ll have any more problems.” Minho replied, starting to wonder why Chan failed so many auditions. “Can you show me how you dance?”
“Actually, I was waiting for-”
The door opened again, a bit more aggressively this time.
“Ah, Chan, were you here already?” someone asked.
“We aren’t late, are we?” someone else also asked.
“Oh, they are…” Minho thought.
“Hyunjin, Changbin!” Chan exclaimed. “You’re on time, I’m always a bit earlier than usual.”
Hyunjin is a member of the group Infinite*Dreamers, and Changbin is a former idol and ex-member of Go, goal!, group still active, but he was known for being an MC in various programs. Both of them go to the same class and, even though Changbin retired, he spends a lot of time practicing with Hyunjin.
“I didn’t know you knew each other, Chan.” Minho said.
“Minho! So you’re really here.” Hyunjin said, a bit startled.
“We thought it was just rumors.” Changbin mentioned.
“Changbin and Hyunjin know Minho?” Chan thought. “Actually… I don’t know why I’m surprised. I bet they worked together many times…”
“I studied here before, that’s why I chose this school.” Minho replied.
“So he actually retired…” Changbin thought, looking away for a moment.
“And what are you doing here?”
“We always give Chan advice for his auditions, but we never saw him perform. That’s why we came to practice with him.”
“That way we can see his technique and tell him what needs improvement.” Hyunjin added.
“Do you want to join us, Minho?” Chan asked.
“… No, thanks. I’ll be your audience instead.” Minho replied.
They danced to three different songs before taking a break: one from Infinite*Dreamers, one from Go, goal!, and another from Ec1ipse. As expected, Chan wasn’t as good as Changbin, much less as Hyunjin, but he wasn’t far behind. In fact, both of them thought that Chan’s stage presence was better than theirs but, for some reason, they didn’t tell him.
“Hey, not bad, newbie.” Hyunjin said.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I hate that nickname?” Chan complained.
“Okay, okay, sorry.”
“Your body control is really good, and not once were you offbeat.” Changbin pointed out. “It’s surprising considering you don’t take dance classes.”
“You don’t?!” Minho asked, surprised.
“No, I only practice here and at home.” Chan replied.
“I see… Can I give you some advice?”
“Of course you can.”
Minho stood up and approached the others. He wanted to look up something in his phone but, when he turned it on, the screen shined.
“I-it can’t be…” Chan thought, hoping his eyes were just deceiving him.
Right after the shine, after being able to see again, a hologram of Miku was coming out of the screen.
“Hey, guys! Our show is about to begin, don’t be late!”
Just as she appeared, the hologram disappeared, leaving the boys speechless.
“It was… Miku, right?” Hyunjin asked.
“It has to be some kind of ad. It can’t be anything else than an ad, right?” Changbin suggested.
“… Minho, you don’t have an untitled song in your phone, don’t you?” Chan asked.
“I-I don’t know, I’ll check.” Minho replied.
When Minho opened the music app, just as Chan said, the untitled song was already on the player.
“Yeah, look!”
Minho played the song without thinking twice and, just as when Chan did it, the shine blinded them again. In an instant, the four of them were in the SEKAI. They were in the stands, along with the audience, and in front of them was a huge scenario where Gakupo and Miku were performing.
“Wh-what is this place?!” Minho asked, while also feeling something familiar, but not being sure what it was.
“The stages! The lights! Everything is amazing!” Hyunjin exclaimed, looking around. “And Miku and Gakupo make it a thousand times better!”
“This… this is the kind of show I’ve always wanted to do…” Changbin whispered.
Chan, Hyunjin and Changbin, amazed, couldn’t stop looking at Miku and Gakupo, but Minho had a kind of sad look. When the show ended, the boys got closer to the stage, where the singers were waiting for them.
“I’m so happy that the four of you are finally here!” Miku exclaimed.
“Wh-what is this place?” Hyunjin asked.
“This Is your SEKAI, a world that was created from your true feelings.” Gakupo replied.
“True feelings?” Changbin also asked.
“Yes, but you haven’t discovered them yet. When you do, you’ll know what the future holds for you.” Miku said.
“I… still don’t understand it. What do I need to remember?” Chan asked.
“That’s yours to figure out, Chan. And the same goes for the rest of you.” Gakupo mentioned.
“But that doesn’t mean that you can’t come for advice! You just need to play the untitled song, and stop it to exit.” Miku added.
“True feelings… Maybe I want to…?” Minho thought.
“But, for now, you have to go back, I bet recess is about to end.” Gakupo said.
“R-right!” Chan exclaimed.
“We’ll come back soon, I promise.” Hyunjin said.
“Yeah!”
Just as Miku told them, Minho stopped the song, and the shine brought them back to the rooftop.
“That… was unbelievable! I never thought I’d see Miku live, and much less talk to her!” Hyunjin exclaimed.
“And what about Gakupo?! His stage presence is always breathtaking, and could inspire anyone!” Changbin mentioned.
“I know, right?! His energy makes me want to give my 12.000% when practicing!” Chan added.
“Oh, yeah, about practicing. Chan, do you mind if Hyunjin and I come to practice with you from now on?”
“You need to practice for your auditions and I need to for my shows, and Changbin always comes up with the best routines, so it’s a win-win.” Hyunjin said.
“Yeah, no problem! The more, the merrier. What about you, Minho?” Chan asked.
“Me…? I’ll still be your audience, at least until all the news about me retiring chill a bit.” Minho replied. Whatever he felt while at their SEKAI was already gone.
“Okay, as you wish.”
“Hey, after all, we need someone to correct us.” Hyunjin mentioned.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to help at all…” Minho said.
They were as excited as ever, even if Minho still seemed a bit withdrawn. One week passed since Hyunjin and Changbin rehearsed with Chan, and the three of them could notice big improvements. That day, Hyunjin and Changbin couldn’t go to the rooftop, so it’d be just Minho and Chan.
“Where are Hyunjin and Changbin?” Minho asked.
“They have an exam today, so they stayed in the library to study. It’s just us today.” Chan replied.
Chan started to prepare everything for his practice session but he suddenly stopped.
“Minho, since Hyunjin and Changbin can’t come, would you mind practicing with me today?”
“M-me? I don’t know, Chan…”
“If you don’t want to be seen on accident, we could go to the SEKAI.”
“Well… okay.”
Using Chan’s phone, they entered the SEKAI. The audience was nowhere to be seen, and Gakupo and Miku were chatting outside the stage, but the view was still dazzling.
“Hey, guys!” Miku greeted them.
“Hi, Miku! Can we use the stage to practice?” Chan asked.
“Of course, your SEKAI is like your second home.” Gakupo replied.
“The stage… Has it always been so frightening?” Minho thought.
They got on the stage, even though Minho wasn’t sure at first. Chan was setting everything up for the practice, while Miku and Gakupo observed them from the floor; Minho wasn’t as nervous as he was before, but he still wanted to tell Chan that he couldn’t practice with him. Suddenly, Minho’s favorite song started playing; back when he was in Ec1ipse, he recorded several covers of the song and the choreography. Without realizing, Minho was already dancing. His fast reaction made Chan fall behind, but he didn’t take long to catch up. Feeling a lot better, and knowing that Miku and Gakupo were watching, Minho gave his all. After dancing to three songs in a row they decided to take a break, and Miku and Gakupo got on the stage with them.
“Not bad, guys.” Gakupo said.
“I didn’t think I’d be able to dance…” Minho mentioned.
“Since you said in an interview that you had stage fright, I decided to play songs that I knew you loved.” Chan said.
“You know Minho quite a bit, huh?” Miku asked.
“Honestly, anyone who has heard about me only a little knows this…” Minho replied.
“Minho is really good at controlling his stage fright, but he seemed… troubled today.” Chan thought as Minho talked with the Virtual Singers. “I wonder if it has something to do with his retirement… Why am I asking this? I shouldn’t assume anything about him.”
Minho and Chan danced some more; Miku joined them in a few songs, and Gakupo gave them some advice before they left. At night, Minho was in his room, looking at his phone. He always had trouble expressing himself through texts, and hated calling, but he wanted to send something to Chan.
<Hey, Chan. Sorry if I looked too serious or cheerless today, I really had fun with you at the SEKAI. I’d like to practice with you sometime again, if you want>
<Dw, Lino! I’m glad that u had fun, and I’d love to practice together>
<Minho* damn autocorrect>
<I didn’t know you were the kind of guy to give his friends nicknames>
<Don’t make fun of me pls :(>
<Abt practicing, would it b better on the rooftop or at the SEKAI?>
<The SEKAI would be better. The other day someone asked Hyunjin if they were going to have new members, so it’d be better there>
<Okay!>
“You’re making me doubt everything at this point… Is it really all in my head?”
Minho and Chan kept texting for a while before going to bed. It took a while for Minho to fall sleep since he had a lot of things in his mind, but he ended up resting. The next day, when Minho went to the rooftop, the rest were already there.
“Hey, Minho.” Hyunjin greeted.
“We were waiting for you. Shall we go to the SEKAI?” Chan asked.
“Of course, let’s go.” Minho replied.
At the SEKAI, Miku and Gakupo were sitting on the stands.
“Are you here to practice again?” Gakupo asked.
“Again?” Changbin also asked.
“Yeah, the stage is more practical and we won’t have as many problems as we had on the rooftop.” Chan replied.
“Good luck!” Miku exclaimed.
They got on the stage together. Hyunjin and Changbin were surprised when they saw Minho getting ready too, but he seemed so excited about it that they didn’t say anything. That day they were focused on singing and dancing at the same, so Chan could work on his voice stabilization but, just as they saw with both individually, he didn’t seem to struggle. In fact, for a moment, they thought that his voice was more stable than Hyunjin’s. As they did the day before, Miku and Gakupo went to be with them.
“I don’t know what else they want from you, Chan.” Changbin said.
“Your level is exceptional, and you are everything they’re looking for…” Hyunjin mentioned.
“Maybe he’s really unlucky?” Miku asked.
“Still, even if he is, his skills are there.” Minho replied.
“What if… what if Minho comes with me to my next audition?” Chan asked.
“Huh?” Hyunjin asked back.
“Sometimes backup dancers perform with me but, since I couldn’t practice with them, it was really difficult to coordinate.”
“If you practiced with Minho before the audition everything would go smoothly.” Gakupo mentioned.
“And Chan could take advantage of the fact that Minho is really famous…” Changbin added.
“It’s true that I was able to perform without problems, but there wasn’t an audience… Well, in an audition the judges are scarier…” Minho thought.
“What do you say, Minho?”
“…Yeah, I could go.”
“Are you sure?” Chan asked.
“Yes, I am. Maybe I can’t give my all, but I’ll help you the best I can. Moreover, knowing how these things work, I could give you advice on how to behave in front of the judges.”
“If Minho was still an idol he wouldn’t be able to do this… Maybe his retirement isn’t so bad after all…” Changbin thought.
That day, they cut the practice session short, and Minho decided to walk home with Chan so they could talk about the audition.
“Do you know when it is?” Minho asked.
“Yes, it’s in two weeks. Still, I’ll have to call the company to tell them that you’ll come with me.”
“They won’t have any problems with that, they’re very flexible with the auditions. However, once you’re in… they’re so strict.”
“I know, but I’m not too worried… Minho, thanks for helping me with this.”
“It’s nothing, really.”
“If I’m being honest, I was worried… Since everything about your retirement was so sudden, I thought that you wouldn’t be able to perform again, but I’m glad that isn’t the case.”
“Well, you know about my stage fright, but your audition will go great…”
Minho wanted to believe his own words so badly, but he knew that, unless he stopped lying, something would surely go wrong, and it would be his fault.
“Hey, Chan, when are you going to start using that nickname? What was it? Lino?”
“For God’s sake, it was the autocorrect!”
“You don’t need that excuse anymore, I know it was on purpose.”
“Oh, yeah? If I wanted to give you a nickname, I would’ve chosen something like ‘edgylord’.”
“Chan!”
“Or, would ‘rizzler’ be better?”
“Chan, oh my God…”
“Okay, okay, I’ll stop, sorry.”
“Hey, where do you live? We’ll end up at my house.”
“We went too far! I can go back alone.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, you should go to your house already, it’s getting late.”
“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, Chan.”
Minho and Chan dedicated the next week to rehearse for the audition, while Changbin and Hyunjin helped them and gave them advice. Just before leaving the school, Hyunjin stopped the rest.
“Is something wrong, Hyunjin?” Chan asked.
“No, no. I couldn’t tell you earlier, but we’re performing the day after your audition, and I got three VIP tickets for you.” Hyunjin replied.
“Really? You didn’t need to.” Minho said, grabbing the ticket.
“We could’ve bought normal tickets.” Changbin added.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s really important for me that you’ll be there because… I’m planning to retire that same day.” Hyunjin said.
“What?” Chan asked.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and I think-”
“Why?!” Changbin’s screams weren’t something out of the ordinary, but he sounded especially mad.
“Wh-what’s wrong?”
“Why do you guys retire when you have it all?!”
“Changbin-” Minho tried to talk.
“Your voice is wonderful, you’re one of the best dancers, and everyone likes you! Why would you retire now?!”
“Changbin, you don’t even know-” Hyunjin also tried to talk.
“You’re literally perfect!”
“Perfect” was a compliment for most people but, for Hyunjin, it was the worst someone could call him. Hyunjin looked for a moment at Changbin, trying not to cry, but failing miserably, and ran away without saying a word. Changbin also stormed off, leaving Minho and Chan really confused; even if Chan had a slight idea of why Hyunjin reacted like that, Minho couldn’t understand it. After a while, when he was about to get to his house, Changbin ended up calming himself, and started to think about what happened.
“… I called him ‘perfect’, why did I call him ‘perfect’? I should’ve let him explain why he wanted to retire and support him… And I spoke badly to Minho too… Why do I have to be like this…?”
Changbin stopped on his tracks. He knew that Hyunjin was mad with him, and he thought that Minho was too, but he didn’t want to make it to his house feeling horrible. Ultimately, he went to the SEKAI to calm down and, once he was there, he explained everything to Miku and Gakupo and asked for advice.
“I see… You didn’t want to say all of that, right?” Miku asked.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to. It’s just that… I was frustrated, and I didn’t say it the way I wanted to. The last thing I wanted was to upset Hyunjin…”
“I don’t think Hyunjin wants to talk with you right now. You still have the weekend ahead, so you should let everything settle down and talk with Hyunjin on Monday. After all, you go to the same class, right?” Gakupo mentioned.
“Yes… thank you. At least I feel better.”
“That’s good. I bet everything will get better soon.” Miku said.
Changbin managed to get to his house without feeling that bad, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what he said during the weekend. When Monday arrived, he changed and got to the school as fast as he could. He got to his class, sat in his table and waited for Hyunjin. He waited and waited, but Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen. Changbin was starting to worry, since Hyunjin was always early. When the teacher arrived, Changbin had no other choice than to pay attention to the lesson and, as soon as it finished, he went to talk with his teacher.
“Do you know why Hyunjin didn’t come today?” Changbin asked.
“As far as I know, he took this week off to rehearse for a show he has soon.”
“The…. whole week?”
“Yes… I thought you knew.”
Changbin looked at his teacher for a few seconds before returning to his seat. The rest of the classes, Changbin couldn’t think of anything else that he wouldn’t be able to see Hyunjin until Chan’s audition. At recess he went running to the rooftop, as if Hyunjin would be there. Evidently, only Chan and Minho were there.
“You’re early today, Changbin.” Chan mentioned.
“Ah… Minho, I’m sorry for what I said the other day…” Changbin apologized.
“Don’t worry about that, Changbin.” Minho said.
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I understand that you were frustrated.”
“Well…”
“Where’s Hyunjin?” Chan asked.
“He’s not coming this week because of the show…”
“Really?” Minho asked.
“Yes… I haven’t apologized to him yet, and I don’t want to just send a message…”
“Don’t worry, you’ll see him at Chan’s audition.”
“I’m sure you’ll have a chance to talk to him.” Chan added.
“I guess so… Can we practice? I think that’ll help me clear my head…” Changbin asked.
“Of course, whatever you want.” Minho replied.
Practicing really helped Changbin to distract himself and collect his thoughts, and he was helping Chan and Minho for the audition. It wasn’t like they were having problems with anything, but they wanted to make sure that everything would be perfect. They were lucky enough that they didn’t have any exams that week or the week after, so they could practice and study at the same time without having to worry. Finally, the day of the audition came; Chan and Minho needed to be at the company the whole day, so they didn’t go to class. Changbin was bored most of the day but, the closer the afternoon got, the more worried he grew to see Hyunjin; there was a chance that Hyunjin wouldn’t want to talk with Changbin, or even get close to him. He was practically shaking when he didn’t see Hyunjin anywhere in the audience –Changbin got there first–. Half an hour later, after hearing some people whispering and getting surprised, Changbin turned around and, indeed, Hyunjin just arrived.
“Hyunjin-” Changbin tried to talk.
“I’m here to see Chan and Minho, not to talk with you.”
“Please-”
“I said I’m not here to talk with you. It’s not like it’s the best place to do it either.”
“… Fine.”
Even if it was hurtful for Changbin and awkward for Hyunjin, they decided to stay together in the audience to see Chan and Minho. It was about time for the audition and, in the backstage, the tension could be cut with scissors, as well as Minho’s nerves.
“There are more people than I expected…” Minho thought.
“Minho.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t be nervous, we’re going to do great.”
“… I know, Chan.”
At last, it was Chan’s turn. When they got to the stage, Minho seemed extremely nervous, more than his stage fright made him be, and Hyunjin and Changbin noticed immediately that something was wrong. The music started playing and, even though Chan was performing, Minho was frozen in place.
“No… why now?” Minho thought, desperately trying to move. “Why now, if I practiced this much…? Why now, when I’m with Chan?”
Right after starting, Chan noticed that Minho wasn’t moving.
“M-Minho?!”
“… I-I can’t, Chan.”
Obviously, they couldn’t go through the audition, and they returned to the backstage. Hyunjin and Changbin tried to go with them, but the security staff didn’t let them enter the backstage. Even if it was unintelligible, they could hear Chan and Minho arguing.
“You said you would be able to perform with me!” Chan exclaimed.
“I-I know, Chan, I’m sorry.”
“But you lied! Why?!”
“I didn’t lie…! I didn’t want to-”
“Excuses! Even with your stage fright, being unable to perform is too much! I can’t understand how you managed to become an idol like this!”
“Chan… now I know why you weren’t able to pass any audition.”
“Huh?!”
“You don’t have what it takes to become an idol. It doesn't seem that you’ll ever have it. Now, if you excuse me.”
“You…!”
Minho exited the backstage, leaving Chan extremely mad. On the street he came across Hyunjin, who was waiting for them to come out. Changbin was waiting for them too, but he needed to leave for a moment.
“Minho! What happened?” Hyunjin asked.
“I won’t be able to go to your show tomorrow.”
“W-why?”
“I don’t want to see Chan there. I’ll go home now.”
“Minho, wait!”
Hyunjin followed Minho to his house. He didn’t know what was going on, and Minho didn’t explain why he couldn’t perform either but, he knew that, in that moment, Minho needed company. At the same time, Chan was still in the backstage and, even if he was still really mad, he didn’t want to go home like that, so he decided to go to the SEKAI until he calmed down. Once he was there, he didn’t see Miku or Gakupo anywhere, but he noticed that one of the storage rooms, one that was usually locked, was open. When he got closer, he noticed a plushie on the floor.
“Isn’t this… one of Felix’s plushies?” Chan thought.
When Chan tried to pick it up, the plushie jumped up.
“Ah!”
“I need help!” the plush exclaimed.
“H-help?”
“The rest can’t get out!”
Chan took a look inside the storage room, and saw a big pile of plushies and toys.
“When did we buy him that many plushies…?”
“You need to get them out of there!”
“How am I supposed do that?!”
“I don’t know, but do it!”
“Okay, so… I’ll take them out carefully.”
Chan started to take the plushies and the toys one by one. After a while, less and less remained inside, and most of them didn’t talk or move like the wolf, but others did. Finally, the last plushie inside was a yellow chicken. When Chan picked it up, he saw that it was on top of a CD box. When he picked it up, the chicken plushie jumped out of Chan’s hand and went to hug the wolf.
“This is… the CD of the concert I watched with Felix…”
Chan opened the box, but the CD wasn’t inside; instead, there was a piece of paper with a message written, probably by Felix. It said “Good luck, Channie. I know you will achieve your dream and make everyone smile” along with a poorly drawn wolf and chicken.
“Oh… now I remember… I didn’t want to impress anyone, I just wanted to make Felix smile.”
“It seems like you remembered something.” Miku said.
“Miku!”
“We’re not going to distract you much, you have things to do, don’t you?” Gakupo asked.
“… Yeah! I need to talk with the rest!”
Chan exited the SEKAI, only to realize that he was still in the backstage, and was lucky that no one saw him disappear and reappear like that. When he exited the building, he saw that Changbin was waiting for him.
“Changbin?” Chan asked.
“Oh, Chan, I was getting worried.”
“What are you doing here? It’s so late.”
“I was waiting for you, I didn’t want you to go home alone.”
“Ah, okay…”
They were walking together, but in silence, Changbin wasn’t very cheerful because he couldn’t fix things with Hyunjin, and he didn’t want to ask Chan about what happened with Minho, but he decided to talk.
“Chan, do you know why I really retired?”
“Actually, no. I just know that one seemed to care.”
“Well… it was because I wasn’t important in the group. If I got sponsors it was nothing special, but if someone else did, they celebrated it. If I made a mistake dancing they’d call me useless, but if someone else did, they’d tell them that it wasn’t their fault…”
“Changbin…”
“And I noticed that everything they said was true.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Outside of my voice… I treat people horribly, I get mad easily, and I don’t like to accept my mistakes…”
“Well, I don’t think any of that is true.”
“Why? You saw it…”
“I mean, first of all, you were able to identify what’s ‘bad’ about you, you wanted to fix everything with Hyunjin as fast as you could, if they really knew you, they would’ve known how hardworking you are… All of that tells me everything I need to know to say that you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met, and a great friend.”
“Chan…”
“Changbin, I know that the thing you love the most in this world is being an idol, even if it’s hard, and you shouldn’t have let some comments drive you apart from it. You know what? We should-”
“Let’s become a group, the four of us! I mean, I don’t know if Hyunjin will really retire tomorrow of if Minho will be able to perform again but… I don’t know, what do you think?”
“Yeah! We’ll talk with Hyunjin tomorrow and… well, I’ll figure out what we will do with Minho. You could stay at my house and we can think about a name and a logo!”
“Okay! We’ll be the best group of this generation, I have no doubts about that.”
They spent the whole night coming up with ideas, but they didn’t want to settle on anything before talking with the rest. They knew that talking with Hyunjin at his show wasn’t going to be easy, considering that they didn’t know that Minho wouldn’t go. Still, they went to see Hyunjin, and Changbin noticed some things from the moment the show started.
“What’s wrong?” Chan asked.
“Hyunjin… he seems… no, he is exhausted. He must’ve practiced too much…”
“How are we going to talk with him after the show?”
“We’ll go directly to the backstage. We have VIP tickets and the staff knows me. We shouldn’t have problems to get in.”
Right when the show ended, they went to the backstage as fast as they could, but they had to wait because the security guy must’ve been new, and was skeptical of the VIP tickets. After convincing him, they made it inside, although no one seemed to notice them.
“Now?! After everything we’ve done for you?!” one of the members said.
“Everything you’ve done for me?-” Hyunjin tried to protest.
“You’re so selfish, Hyunjin! You only know how to take advantage of others!” another member said.
“Ugh, shut up!” Changbin exclaimed.
“Changbin…?” Hyunjin asked.
“Oh, this guy…” a third member mumbled.
“There’s no one in this group that tries harder than Hyunjin! He’s always saving your butt while none of you even try!” Changbin said.
“If you knew Hyunjin only a bit you’d know that, if you try twice as hard, Hyunjin tries thrice as hard. Also, you force him to be someone who he isn’t, only to fit in some impossible standards.” Chan added.
“Chan…” Hyunjin said.
“Oh, so inspiring. I’ve never thought that other people would care for Hyunjin.” the second member mocked them.
“But nothing you say matters, Hyunjin isn’t part of our group anymore. We don’t care about what you think of him.” the first member mentioned.
“And you better get going now, you’re stressing me.” the third one added.
“Hey, I’m not done talking!” Changbin exclaimed.
“Changbin, leave it, it’s not worth it.” Hyunjin said.
“Fine…”
They exited the building, not very happy with the outcome of their protests, even though Hyunjin didn’t seem bothered.
“I can’t believe they said all of those things about you.” Changbin said.
“It doesn’t matter, really. They said worse things before…” Hyunjin replied.
“That doesn’t mean you should let them say all of that.” Chan mentioned.
Chan tried to take his phone out of his bag and, accidentally, some papers dropped out of his bag. Him and Hyunjin went to grab them, and Hyunjin saw in one of the papers one of the designs Changbin and Chan thought of for the logo.
“What’s this?” Hyunjin asked.
“Ah, they’re ideas for some logos.” Chan replied.
“Logos? For what?”
“You see… we want to become a group.” Changbin said.
“You two? And after everything they made you go through?” Hyunjin asked again.
“No, actually, we wanted to form it all four of us… B-but it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to, and we don’t know if Minho would want to after what happened yesterday…” Chan said.
“It’s just a dumb idea I had, after all.” Changbin added.
“No, dumb? I’d love to, I promise.” Hyunjin said.
“Really?” Chan asked.
“Yeah! And I think that… we’d be fine without a company. We could promote ourselves through social media, and we wouldn’t have to put up with anything we don’t like.”
“I really thought you wouldn’t want to…” Changbin said.
“No, even if this world is… horrible, there isn’t anything else that makes me happier than knowing I could inspire so many people…”
“Excuse me, you’re friends with Minho, right?” someone asked.
“Huh?”
“You’re Doyun, aren’t you? One of Ec1ipse’s members.” Chan asked.
“That’s right. I was wondering if Minho was with you.”
“No, not right now…” Changbin replied.
“I wonder when I can apologize to him…”
“Apologize?” Chan asked.
“Yeah, actually… it’s my fault that he retired.”
“Huh?” Hyunjin asked.
“You see, I was the last member to join Ec1ipse, and the reason I auditioned was because Minho inspired me to… When I made it in, Minho always told me that I would achieve everything I wanted, and that my limits were only in my head…”
“That’s so Minho-like…” Chan thought.
“Well, a month ago, during practice, my voice when I tried to sing simply wouldn’t sound. The doctor said that I had a vocal cord strain, and that my recovery could take up to a year if I didn’t treat it properly, and that I wouldn’t be able to sing anymore.”
“Ah, that’s horrible…” Changbin said.
“But that’s not the problem. I… blamed Minho, for telling me that I’d always achieve my dreams, and that if he didn’t lie about that I would still be able to sing… Because of that, every time he gets on a stage, if it wasn’t enough with his stage fright, he remembers what I said and can’t move at all.”
“Then, I… made everything worse?” Chan was still lost in his thoughts.
“On top of that, the rest of the members always used Minho as their support, and I think that ended up destroying him mentally… But, oh well… The next time you see him, tell him that I’d like to talk to him, okay?”
“Y-yeah.” Hyunjin replied.
“I’m not going to take more of your time, it’s pretty late already.”
Doyun quickly walked away from the rest, who just stood there, looking at nothing, thinking about what Doyun said to them.
“… I already knew that it was strange that he retired so suddenly, but I didn’t think it was something so serious.” Changbin said.
“But, still, he was able to perform perfectly for some time. Is there something that makes him forget about what Doyun said to him?” Hyunjin asked.
“Even if it was, I’m sure it doesn’t exist anymore, and it’s my fault… But… Wait, we just need to return the favor.” Chan mentioned.
“Huh?”
“If Minho was able to keep going because he wanted to give hope to his fans, we just need to make him see that the hope is still there.”
“… Wait, I know what you mean!” Changbin exclaimed.
“You do?”
“Me too! We need to tell Miku and Gakupo, right?” Hyunjin asked.
Chan nodded, and without doubting for a second, they entered the SEKAI; they had so many things to prepare, and too little time for it…
On Monday everything seemed normal. Classes went as usual but, at recess, Minho didn’t go to the rooftop. As expected, he was still mad at Chan, and with a good reason to be. He found a pretty hidden place to rest, so it took Hyunjin a while to find him.
“Oh, Minho, here you are.” Hyunjin said.
“Hey, Hyunjin. Do you need something?” Minho asked.
“Yes, kind of. I need you to come with me.”
“Right now?”
“Yeah… I’m sorry.”
Minho stood up and followed Hyunjin. They ended up at Chan’s classroom and, although Minho didn’t want to go in, since he didn’t see Chan anywhere, he ended up obeying Hyunjin.
“I’ll be here in a moment, for now you can press play on the speaker. I’ll come in a minute, I promise.” Hyunjin said.
Hyunjin left running as he left Minho, a bit confused, alone in the classroom. He didn’t understand the part where Hyunjin said “press play” until he saw a speaker on one of the tables. Doubting again, he did as Hyunjin said, pressing play, and entering the SEKAI unexpectedly. He was on the stands, sitting next to Gakupo.
“Don’t you dare blink a single time.” Gakupo said.
“Huh?”
“You wouldn’t like to miss anything.”
Gakupo pointed at the stage and, suddenly, Chan, Hyunjin and Changbin were there with Miku.
“But… I was with Hyunjin right now…”
Minho couldn’t notice before but, when the stage lights turned off, he saw the audience on the stands with him. The lights turned on again, and the boys were performing with Miku.
“Changbin’s rap sounds so amazing… Hyunjin looks so cheerful and ‘himself’, and Chan… it’s like I’m looking at someone completely different… Also… I don’t know when they changed, but their clothes make them seem like they’re a group…”
Their performance with Miku had Minho so impressed that he didn’t even notice that he stood up to be able to see better. He was enjoying it so much that he looked so sad about the fact that they already finished performing.
“Come with me, they’re doing a meet and greet today.” Gakupo said, grabbing Minho’s arm.
“What?”
Gakupo ran down the stands with Minho, arriving right at the stage’s stairs, where Chan took over Gakupo, grabbing both of Minho’s hands. He got him to climb the stairs, but he couldn’t get him to get to the stage.
“Chan, n-no…”
“I know, that’s why we’re here.”
Hyunjin grabbed one of Minho’s arms, and Changbin grabbed the other.
“You don’t need to worry about anything, Minho.” Hyunjin said.
“And you don’t need to face your problems alone either. You know you can count on us for everything.” Changbin added.
After reassuring him, Minho managed to get to the center of the stage with the rest. He realized it wasn’t that bad, but he was still frozen.
“Why do you want me to be here…?” Minho asked.
“Now we know why you can’t act in front of an audience…” Changbin said.
“But the world doesn’t end just because two or three people put too much weight on your shoulders. Believe me, I know.” Hyunjin added.
“I know that trauma doesn’t disappear in an instant, but we want you to see that your fans will support you no matter what.” Chan said.
Chan let go of Minho and stepped aside, letting him see the audience. The lights, which were shining in different colors, turned blue. Minho’s favorite blue. Seeing that color that gave Minho such hope, inevitably, made him cry. Even if he didn’t notice, he got closer to the edge to see the lights better.
“I don’t want to give up!” Minho exclaimed, turning around. “I don’t want to stop being an idol, I don’t want to stop doing what I love! But I’m afraid of hurting someone else… Of hurting you guys…”
“Oh, Minho, don’t you see?” Miku asked.
“Huh?”
“How could you hurt them if you’re the reason they’re here right now?” Gakupo also asked.
“Minho… no, Lino, I know it’s going to be tough, and that it isn’t going to be easy, but I know you can do it. We’ll be here to help you.” Chan said.
Minho didn’t waste a second and went to hug Chan, and Hyunjin and Changbin joined immediately.
“I don’t know what I would do without you guys… I love the clothes you’re wearing, with the claw mark and the colors…” Minho mentioned.
“We have an outfit for you too.” Hyunjin said.
“Really?”
“Of course, it’s up to you whether you want it or not.” Changbin replied.
“Of course I want it. I… don’t want to be afraid anymore.”
“Don’t worry, Lino. You won’t have to be anymore.” Chan said.
“But… do you really want me in your group? Knowing that any day I could go blank?”
“But do you think that’ll happen to you with them?” Gakupo asked.
“… I don’t know…”
“Then let’s test it! The audience is dying for an encore.” Miku said.
“We still have some time left before we have to come back.” Hyunjin mentioned.
“And what would we sing? I haven’t rehearsed anything with you.” Minho asked.
“… That’s true.” Changbin said.
“Don’t worry about that, you’ll know what to do when the music starts.” Miku replied.
Surprisingly, just as Miku said, the boys knew exactly what to sing and dance. They were so coordinated that it was scary, but they didn’t care; dancing, singing and having a good time was the important thing. When they finished, everything they felt when they looked at the audience roaring was impossible to explain, but their eyes said everything; it was the first time Chan felt like that, but Hyunjin, Changbin and Minho didn’t think they’d feel that excitement again.
“That… was amazing…” Hyunjin said.
“I still don’t know how we managed to sing like that…” Changbin mentioned.
“The song you just performed symbolizes that you found your true feelings.” Gakupo said.
“It’s the same song you use to come here, it’s just that it has taken shape.” Miku added.
“Does that mean…? Lino?” Chan asked.
“I… want to keep singing and dancing… with you.” Minho said.
“Now we can finally settle on the name and logo!” Changbin exclaimed.
“Let’s leave that for another moment, we need to change now if we don’t want to be late to class.” Hyunjin mentioned.
“Right! How much time do we have left?” Chan asked.
“About five- four minutes.”
They ran to change their clothes, while Minho stayed with Miku and Gakupo.
“Hey, Lino?” Miku asked.
“Yes?”
“You can’t change your clothes, can you go to class like that?” Gakupo asked too.
“Uh… I can ask the others for a cardigan.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, the only important part of the uniform is the tie, so…”
The others finished changing, and Chan left his cardigan to Lino. If they arrived on time is because they were already in Chan’s classroom –Changbin’s phone was the one connected to the speaker, and it was the one they used to leave– . The next day, at the rooftop, they were discussing everything they needed to become a group.
“So… we settled on the name “Stray” for the group…” Hyunjin started talking.
“But we don’t have anything for the logo…” Changbin said.
“What if…?” Minho asked, grabbing a pen and a paper.
After doodling for a bit, Minho showed his idea to the rest.
“We could put “Stray” as it is, and behind, the claws’ marking. Something better than this, obviously.”
“Can you give it to me one second?” Chan asked.
Chan grabbed the paper, and painted the “y” red.
“Some color makes it look better.”
Hyunjin, seeing Minho’s idea with Chan’s addition, grabbed his computer and his tablet and turned them on.
“You brought all of your stuff for this?” Changbin asked.
“If we’re going to do this, we’ll do it right.” Hyunjin replied.
Hyunjin spent some time making the design for the logo, and the rest waited for him to finish. Finally, he showed the others what he did.
“The only thing I did was make the letters’ outline thicker than the claws.”
“That’s just what I had in mind!” Minho exclaimed.
“Really?”
“We finally have a logo!” Changbin also exclaimed.
“No! Let me adjust it a bit first.”
“It might be hard for us to get out there without a company, but being in a group with you makes it all worth it… We should practice our slogan for the streamings.” Chan mentioned.
“We’ll use that one, then?” Minho asked.
“No, wait, it’s embarrassing…” Hyunjin complained.
“If everything works out you’ll have to use it in front of many people, so you better practice it.” Changbin said.
“I know…”
“Ready?” Chan asked.
Get out! Stray here!