Work Text:
⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆
"SINKING FEELING"
today when you woke up, it was different. you had that same familiar pit that hung heavy in your stomach. you groaned, quickly lifting your body up and hopping out of bed. you've been like this for 3 weeks, ever since..
chloe price.
that damn girl, no matter WHAT you did she lingered inside of your head, it made you almost uncomfortable how she managed to just stay a reoccurring thought that wouldn't go away. apart of you felt guilty for thinking about her so often; how dare she.
ever since you saw her with that one girl at some niche party. you guys were already a little rocky, the week prior the only time you would speak to one-another is whenever you were both high and horny. you couldn't quite pinpoint what exactly went wrong. but chloe had always been the type to never speak on her issues.
you were the opposite though, oh, if you had something to say. it would be known. and the drastic difference between you two is what made you want to claw out of your skin at times, whenever no matter what you tried; she just wouldn't open up on how she felt. it's like - you felt for her, you were patient. "baby steps." is what you used to tell her.
you seemed to pull yourself out of your head, running your hands through your hair as you store into your bathroom mirror. it almost felt like chloe was pressed closely behind you, kissing your neck as she whispered how beautiful you were in the mornings.
fuck. focus.
after hastily brushing your teeth and washing your face, you decided you needed a change of scenery; if chloe could be out partying every night, you weren't going to give her the gratitude of knowing you were consecutively cooped inside of your room all day. this would be good for you, you thought. you knew. if before chloe you were a partier, you could just as easily be a partier after her.
was it really over though? the silent exchanged glances when you saw eachother. the way chloe's eyes widened when she realized you were there. the way she seemingly discarded the girl that was laid all up on her lap and tried to walk towards you, to tell you it wasn't what it seemed.
"___! please hear me out, this was just a fling. she means nothing to me. the past few weeks it's just been hard and- we aren't even anything so please don't make this a bigger deal than it has to be."
"yeah you're right. chlo. we aren't anything, so you shouldn't even be acting this way right now. it's embarrassing, go back to your "fling." "
the way her eyes swelled, you could see her raw emotion through the dimmed lights, it made your stomach churn. but you were too angry to think clearly, you wanted whatever you just saw as far away from you as possible.
damnit. why am i thinking about this?! it's been weeks.
you tried to focus as you got ready. and was it hard, after being so delved into your mind, into what happened. it was hard to just not think about every single micro-detail of what occurred.
were you too harsh? you did call her embarrassing, after she had shown you more vulnerability than you've ever seen, you could tell she was genuine by the emotion in her voice, it wasn't a ploy, or an act. chloe was genuinely sorry. and maybe even- regretful.
"god can i stop trying to pity her. like what the hell??"
you said out loud to yourself in frustration, like what were you doing?? you were supposed to be infuriated at chloe price. not a ball of commiseration for what she did. but if you cut the emotional aspects out of your relationship, what she did wasn't truly wrong. maybe you guys just had different ideas on what you were, did you overlook it?
no. she definitely felt more for you than just "messing around" and you knew this because one heavy night she gave you a hell of a drunk call. laying how she felt for you at your feet. only for her to text you "i don't know what i said last night, but it meant nothing." the following morning.
after finishing getting ready, you texted one of your friends to meet for brunch. it was actually really nice to get out, you and your friend caught up on much needed topics. you told her your complications with a stoner blue-haired girl, though she didn't share your sexual interests with women, she gave you her best advice on what to do.
and it was damnnn good advice, you felt like it could actually benefit you. she told you in the tone she always used whenever she was dead serious on something, and whenever she sounded like that you made sure to give her your ear. because even though she was younger than you, she seemed to be sooo much more wiser in the "relationship" mumbo jumbo.
"you haven't talked to her after what happened, right?"
"yeah.. i was so angry, i- just didn't want to speak to her."
"so you haven't told her how you feel about the whole thing. and i'm assuming she hasn't reached out to you either."
"no, she hasn't. no texts.. no drunk calls, nothin'."
"you need to speak to her, this feeling is never going to be resolved if you just leave the situation to fester on it's own. you don't know what was running through her mind when she did what she did. and she doesn't know what you were thinking either."
"all i'm trying to say is i think you should REALLY go talk to her, somehow. if you can."
that's basically the sum of what you two talked about, what your friend said keeps repeating through your mind, YOU text CHLOE first? could you even risk your ego being shattered like that?
it's best you wait till tomorrow, you thought. you had matters to attend too. you got invited to a party only about 15 minutes from your house, you'd be crazzyyy not to go.
so you got ready, again. you made sure to wear something a little more revealing, besides you wanted to get laid tonight. you needed a reset after everything that's happened, and you hoped to get it at this party.
you arrived around 8:30, the sun had already set, and holy shit. they took open-invitation to another level, just in the front yard alone there were 20-ish people scattered throughout.
after saying about 3 "excuse me's" you made it to where the alcohol was being served, and poured yourself a generous drink. you thought to yourself if you should've invited one of your friends, but you've been a solo partier before, you can easily do it again.
you placed yourself into a seat along a kitchen island, one girl caught your eye, she had been sneaking you occasional glances, she was not trying to be slick either. it's like she wanted you to KNOW she was looking at you.
you guys seemed to kind of just inch toward one another, until she finally raised up her glass and approached you.
"we keep looking at eachother, i didn't want it to get anymore awkward so i thought i'd might introduce myself."
she offered a waggish smile, her brows lifted as she talked to you, which is like.. the universal sign of interest.
"i was wondering when you were going to come up and pour me a drink."
you responded, gesturing to the drink table across the kitchen. she looked taken aback by that, she was in awe of your sudden demand.
"well then.. yes ma'am."
the woman walked away to go and pour you a drink, but all of a sudden that irrepressible feeling that had been sitting in your stomach for weeks creeped back in on you.
you were out, having fun.. about to get laid. why the hell were you still feeling like this? why was she haunting you?
everything that you had felt just a minute ago seemed to dissipate, you soon became uninterested and before she even came back, you walked outside of the house to try and regain your composure.
you placed your hands on your hips, pacing around as you were confident everyone around you was too drunk to pay any mind to your franticness.
"i'm out of the house.. having fun, i'm distracting myself, why the fuck is this still bothering me? now of all times?"
you sighed deeply, you didn't want this to ruin your night. you wouldn't let it, you had to go back in there and get more drunk. besides- you texted your friend to pick you up in about 2 hours or so. you didn't have the drive home to worry about.
your feet scraped as you walked, though that soon turned into established, hardy steps as you were determined to put chloe past you. but you being in your head once again was interrupted abruptly as you bumped into someone for the 3rd time this evening.
"oh! my apologies, i'm such a mess..."
that smell, it couldn't be.
"___?"
you swung your head up, only to meet gazes with an equally drunk, chloe price. your body seemed to shut down, the words couldn't leave your mouth, like your brain got hijacked and went into freeze mode.
"____? are you okay?"
"chlo?.. why are you here?"
"because it's an open invitation party?.."
you scoffed, if the effects of the alcohol weren't making themselves known before, they definitely were now. it's like you wanted to be mad and slap her across the face, but.. she looked so good.
"besides that- i.. didn't expect to see you here."
chloe teetered out, running her hands through her short hair nervously.
she was eyeing you feverishly. she couldn't look away from you.
"yeah i wasn't even set on going till' about 2 hours ago."
the conversation was awkward, tense. you guys knew you had so much to say to one another, neither of you knew where to even start.
you were still pressed against her, her arm had a grip on your side, being so caught up in looking at you, and you looking at her. you both hadn't realized you were in such close proximity until you could smell her familiar breath as she breathed.
her eyes flicked to your lips, what was she doing? you were so intoxicated every negative.. dissenting feeling you had was all mushed together into one big desire. for her.
your stomach seemed like it wanted to jump out of your body, you burned with anticipation. you wanted to take a step back from her, but being so close to her felt so right.
she didn't seem to want to move either, it's like she was taking you all in for the first time.
"uh.. how have you been?.."
"don't ask me that chlo."
"so don't worry about you? god i didn't miss how stubborn you were."
"you miss me?"
you eyed her esuriently. she seemed to falter, her cheeks turning a pinkish tint. breaking your gaze as she looked around, only to meet your eyes again.
"..i didn't say that."
"but that's what you were implying."
"i'm not admitting to that."
you tugged on her brown jacket, looking up at her, eyes fluttering. this is what you always used to do whenever you wanted something from her. she caved instantly. head tilting as she revered in you.
"..you look really beautiful."
her words slurred, she was just as drunk as you, if not drunker. she moved closer to you, her hand tightening around your side, her fingers began to wander, spreading out and tapping on you.
"you think so?"
"mmhm.."
you tugged on her jacket again, with more intent this time. she responded to your gesture, eyes squinting as she couldn't help but smile. you would've never though you'd be getting laid tonight by the one girl you didn't want to see.
she grabbed your hand, leading you upstairs as she pushed through numerous people, your pace began to quicken as you were trying to find any available bedroom. you needed to fuck chloe price, now.
she eventually opened a door to a room that was completely empty, and you guys didn't waste any time, she shut the door with her foot, her hands snaked around under your legs, lifting you up as she carried you to the bed, your legs wrapped around her back, you took a moment to take her scent in, it was so intoxicating. she pressed her lips against yours as it felt just as normal as it used too. your tongues danced with each other, your hands wrapping themselves around her neck as you grabbed a fistful of her hair.
she plopped you down onto the bed, hovering over you as she broke the kiss, a string of saliva dropping onto your chin moving closer to your face as she licked the saliva that rested on your face.
you responded with a soft hum, your hips pushed up to press against her lower stomach.
"iv'e needed you so bad. you don't even know how often i think about you."
she glided her hands down your cheek, to your chin, then back up to your lips, she slipped two fingers inside your mouth and hooked it to make you look at her.
"i missed how you feel, you're so soft."
all you could do was muster a soft moan at what she was saying. if chloe price was good at anything, it was making you feel good.
"chlo..."
she retracted her fingers from your mouth, moving her hand down to rest itself at your neck, she peppered kisses from the lips down, stopping at the collar of your shirt.
she stopped for a second, and looked up at you. like she was waiting for your permission for her to touch you further.
"can i?"
"holy shit chloe just fuck me already."
"patience baby. when'd you get so feisty?"
she moved her face closer to the side of yours, using her free hand to tuck your now disheveled hair behind your ear. chloe kissed your earlobe and purposefully breathed heavier just so you could hear her.
"you used to love it whenever i would take my time with you."
you rolled your eyes, turning your head to give her more access to your neck. and she happily complied, sinking her head lower as she ravished her lips over your soft surface, sucking parts of your skin, biting you hard enough to elicit a wince from you.
"god! you and your biting."
"you know i can't help myself."
"i'm not your fucking chew toy."
she scoffed, lifting her head up as she glowered at you. that seemed to genuinely offend her. she met your lips once more, this time it was more vigorous. her hand rose to the side of your jaw, grabbing it with force.
"you're whatever i want you to be baby."
you whined at her words, crossing your legs because just the way she talked to you made you so desperate for her. you were aching for chloe price, you needed her now.
you placed your hand on top of hers, moving it away from your jaw as you sat up, pressing her against the bed with a quick movement. this clearly caught her by surprise, eyes widening as she store at you in dumbfoundment.
"i can say the same for you. yaknow chlo, don't think i don't remember how much of an easy compliant bitch you are in bed."
before chloe could snap with a slyer comeback, you straddled her and got close to her face, meeting her lips with yours. you stole the words from her mouth, they fizzled down into a low moan. her lower body tenses and pressed up against you. her arms instinctively moving to grab your ass.
"you seem to need me just as bad as i need you."
"i never said i didn't need you any less then you need me."
"mfff, good answer baby."
you kissed again, the faint taste of alcohol passed through both of your tongues as you fought for control. your hands rested on her chest, gliding up and down as you felt her body, chloe was always so warm. you could feel the heat radiating through her clothes.
she then rose her hands to your hips and lifted your body up slightly to rest onto her right leg, you moaned at the contact, tightening both of your legs around hers. you didn't realize how bad you needed her till then, your clit was practically squealing at minor contact.
"oh shit.. chlo."
"cmon baby, why dont'cha start moving for me? i don't want to have to do it all myself."
you kept yourself on top of her leg, arching into her as you kissed her neck while doing slow back-and-fourth motions. the friction was incredible, you sighed deeply before nipping and biting her skin.
"oh so it's only okay when you bite me?"
"mmhhm."
chloe rolled her eyes, before looking down just to see how your body was moving so fluently on her, yeah she could feel what you were doing but she needed to see it too.
"god you're so beautiful."
her words made your stomach hurl, you quickened with your motions as you applied more pressure onto her leg, you couldn't help but begin to moan softly now.
"..fuck. keep talking. please."
"you're such a beautiful girl, i missed you so much, you're perfect."
"my good girl."
"make yourself a mess for me."
"i can't wait to make you cum on my fingers."
her words were like a drug, you couldn't stop taking her. the way she talked to you made you feel like you were the greatest thing in the world.
"mhm.. yes chlo."
"you know you're my good girl?"
you were getting antsy, you could feel your stomach tightening and your mind getting fuzzy. you rode her quicker, your hands gripping her shirt as your whole body began to tense up.
"..uhhuh."
your climax came crashing down on you, you flung your hand over your mouth to conceal your moans but chloe quickly grabbed your hand, holding it against the bed as she used her other hand to continue to guide your motions. you rode out your orgasm, moaning her name and gripping the sheets and her shirt tightly. when the rush was over you collapsed onto her, and she laughed softly.
"wow, i didn't know how much i missed hearing you till' now."
"i hope that girl you were with recognizes your voice and hears what i'm doing to you."
chloe was always possessive of you, and you didn't know she had seen you with the other girl until now. you perked your head up, staring at her.
"is that a crime? i hadn't gotten laid in like.. forever."
"and besides, why were you watching me?"
you got up off her, quite fretted at her words. you sat at the end of the bed and store at her.
"no- well yes, i was watching you. but i didn't know if i should've said anything! i thought you guys were like.. dating or something."
"so you weren't going to say anything."
"..i wasn't."
why did you think you in the back of your mind that you could somehow rekindle what you and chloe had before. it was useless, she didn't want you in the way you wanted her.
before she could rest her hand on your shoulder, you quickly got up and started to walk towards the door.
"wait! _____ don't leave. please. i'm sorry. i didn't want to seem invasive or too possessive. besides- i didn't even know if you wanted to see my face."
"ofcourse i wanted to see your face, you don't even know.."
"forget it."
you swung open the door, but chloe quickly bounded after you and shut it. she hovered over you, staring down at your face as tears swelled in her eyes.
"know what?"
...where you actually going to admit that you've missed chloe all this time? were you going to deeply embarrass yourself in hopes she'd feel the same?
"..forget about it. it's nothing. goodbye chlo."
"don't leave. please."
being in close proximity with her like this, the way you could see the tears in her eyes. her brows stitched in despondency. she was silently pleading for you, but you just couldn't do this. you got inside your mind and all of the negative doubts took up your whole headspace.
"i can't do this. please move."
she wouldn't budge for a moment, but eventually with a deep sigh she took her hand off the door, her posture slumped and her arms crossed, as if she were trying to comfort herself. she blinked quickly, and you saw how the tears fell from her eyelashes.
"i'm sorry."
"..."
you couldn't look at her, not right now. you swung open the door and practically ran out of the house. aiming to escape her and yourself. you stopped as you got to the sidewalk, hesitating for a moment. should you go back in?
no. you shouldn't. so you kept walking, you began to cry yourself, you needed to just get down the street and wait for your uber there. you had to get home, you needed to forget about this night.
chloe had stayed in the room for awhile, sitting against the door as she cried into her knees. she knew she had lost you for good.
"why did i say that? i'm so fuckin' stupid."
she blamed herself for letting you get away. but she wanted to honor how you felt, and if you wanted to leave, then that's what she'd let you do.
END OF CHAPTER 1/2