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Shane was laughing at him. Ilya pouted at him.
“I could beat a bear. I am Russian. Strong. Not afraid.” Ilya said confidently.
Shane kept laughing.
“And I am Boston Bear - until next month. I would win.” Ilya doubled down.
Shane rolled his eyes with a smile. “If you see the bear you need to be calm and back away. It’s just looking for food. Please do not try to fight it, Ilya.”
Ilya pouted again. “Fine. For you. But I could win.” he stated confidently.
Shane leaned over as he rolled his eyes and kissed him. “Yes, of course you would win.” he said graciously.
They stepped into the the kitchen and Shane headed for the fridge, pulling out two salmon fillets. They were pre-seasoned and on a baking tray, ready to go.
Ilya flopped on the sofa. “Shanya, not more salmon” he complained.
Shane gave him a look and continued to move around the kitchen. He turned on the oven and then came to fit next to Ilya on the sofa.
“Ten minutes”, he said, “and then the oven will be warm enough, lunch won’t take long.”
Ilya pulled Shane on top of him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and waist.
They promptly fell asleep.
***
The bear was moving slowly through the trees. It was a warm day and after a swim in the lake he was starting feel hungry.
He moved towards a house he could see close to the lake. The garden was still and quiet, and there was a delicious smell wafting towards him.
He followed the smell up the slope, and through the door of the house, where he spotted two lovely, pink, shiny, salmon fillets sitting just a few steps away. He looked around and the room appeared empty. He took two further steps into the room when he heard a hissing noise.
He turned and saw a man’s head leaning around the side of the sofa. He could see the edge of a dark-haired man lying on top of the the curly-haired man.
“Go away.” the man hissed at him again, an angry whisper. “Do not dare to wake him up.”
The bear took a step back, towards the salmon.
“Take the salmon and go.” the man’s sharp whisper continued. “Then, maybe I can have something else to eat for once.”
The bear took another step towards the counter and grabbed the salmon fillets. He moved back towards the door.
The man was watching him the whole time.
“And, if you tell any of the other bears that you saw us together I will end your bloodline” said the curly man, continuing to whisper angrily.
The bear turned and left through the door. What a cute couple he thought. And so generous with their food. Of course I will keep their secret.
***
Shane stirred on Ilya’s chest.
“How long was I out?” he said sleepily.
“Not long.” Ilya replied, kissing the top of his head.
“I’ll put the lunch in the oven.” Shane said, pushing himself to kneeling. "The oven should be hot enough now.”
“Ah.” said Ilya. “There is a problem.”
Shane raised his eyebrows.
“A bear came in when you were asleep and stole the salmon!”
Shane laughed. “Ilya, if you really don’t want it that much you just have to tell me.”
“No no it is truth! I stayed still and told it to go away. I did not fight it. It was nice bear, just wanted food. Did not care that Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander were sleeping on each other on the sofa.” Ilya nodded as he spoke, to support that it was a friendly bear.
“Sure,” said Shane with a grin, “a bear came and stole my lunch.”
“We will check the tapes!” said Ilya jumping up from the sofa. “Then you will see!” Ilya loved it when he could prove Shane wrong in one of their bickering half-serious arguments. “You will see!”
He pulled a laughing Shane towards the office with the computer which recorded the security camera feed.
“You will see the bear and then we can get McDonalds, yes?” He said to Shane, grinning back at him.
Shane laughed again. “Yes Ilya,” he said sarcastically. “show me the bear and I’ll buy you a McDonalds.”
Ilya grinned even wider. He was going to get two burgers and an extra large milkshake for his lunch.