Work Text:
Luffy looked down at the ground from the roof he stood on, his brothers weren't home, Shanks wouldn't be back till tomorrow and his friends wouldn't know, it was friday, the weekend had just started, no one would know.
The roof he was on was old and worn, spiderwebbing cracks everywhere, there was a railing that he was clutching, he had already jumped over it, he was now outside of it, technically it was illegal, but he wouldn't have to deal with that soon anyway. The roof was large, not overly so but he could still walk around on the opposite side of the railing.
His hands tightened on the railing, trying to force them to stop shaking as he looked down from the tallest point of the empty school building. He was trespassing, but it didn't matter, just another thing he wouldn't have to worry about.
He couldn't really remember everything that had happened since he got here, didn't even remember getting here or picking locks and climbing the railing of the roof, he must've walked here, he didn't live too far from the school after all.
His eyes watered as his mouth trembled, his hands still shook, no matter how tight his grip got, his whole body shook as he stared down.
He could still hear the words from his classmates, the cruel and choking words, could still feel the sting from them, could feel how everything felt sore and bad, could feel how strangers would stare and talk, could hear the gross words he tried his best to ignore.
Could still remember how his grandpa hurt and yelled at him, how the bruises on his body ached, how they wouldn't disappear till too late, how they would be impossible to hide, he remembered how multiple mouths yelled at him, told him it was his fault for killing his mom, and maybe it was, if he was never born, she'd still be here after all.
He let out a quiet sob, then another, and then he couldn't stop himself from sobbing and crying, he could taste the salt of his tears as sat down heavily and wished his family was here.
He desperately wanted his older brothers to hug him and comfort him, tell him everything was gonna be okay, he wanted his papai's warm and safe arms, he wanted his friends words and protective comfort.
He pulled his knees to his chest as he cried out into the night sky, only stars offering him the comfort of being there.
His phone buzzed.
He forgot he took it with him, maybe he shouldn't have, but he did still need to say goodbye to everyone, tell them all how much he loved them before he wouldn't be able to ever again.
He slowly took it from his pocket with shaky hands that could barely hold onto it.
Turning it on, he quickly unlocked it and went to his group chat that had everyone he cared about in it, they had made that chat for the sole purpose of security, of knowing more than just them were there.
He thought on what to say, he didn't want to worry them, but he also knew that anything he said would, that they wouldn't understand that this was for the best.
His fingers hovered over the screen, hesitating, his eyes were still blurry with tears still cascading down, his breathing shaky and irregular.
Before he could even type something, his phone started ringing.
It was Ace, his oldest brother.
He quickly answered even when everything inside him told him not too.
“Luffy, hey, me an’ ‘Bo are almost home and i-”
“A-Ace?”
A pause that had his anxiety spiking, before “Lulu, Are you alright?”
There was another pause as he obviously waited for an answer, Luffy swallowed before trying not to break “i-i d-don-”
He tried to steady his breathing and focus on his brothers, but only then he realised that this would be the last time he would ever hear them again, the last time he would hear Ace's voice, the last time he would hear anyone's voice.
Before he could stop himself, a sob tore out of his throat as he struggled to breathe.
The sound of struggling came from the other side of the phone before Sabo's voice broke through “Luffy, can you hear me?!” When he stuttered out a yes between hiccups, Sabo continued “okay, good, you're doing great okay, now just take a deep breath” Luffy followed Sabo's instructions “and breathe out deeply for me okay?”
They did that for a few minutes before Luffy was calmed enough to stop crying between words.
There was silence for a moment before Luffy couldn't hold in the guilt “I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!”
He could feel the surprise through the speaker before Ace piped up “Where are you?”
Luffy stayed silent at that.
He could hear Ace's voice crack “Luffy, where are you!”
Before his brothers could try to ask again, he hugged himself tighter before saying in a quiet voice “I'm sorry… I don't want to try anymore… I'm tired”
He hung up before they could get anything else out, he chucked his phone to the side, silencing it before it started buzzing again.
He stared out as more tears started flowing down, he never wanted his brother's final words to be like that.
He looked down as he uncurled and hung his legs over the edge of the roof.
He swung his legs as tears dripped down, he was really doing this.
He wasn't scared of dying, wasn't scared of death.
He was scared of how his family and friends would be though, of how he would never see them again, of how they might despise him for not being able to handle living anymore.
He didn't want his most precious people to hate him.
But he also didn't want to keep trying.
He wasn't lying when he said he was tired.
He leaned forward, the height dizzying as he stared down.
He never even noticed his phone suddenly going silent.
He scooted forward, ready to fall, accepting his end.
He never heard the sound of footsteps running to him, never heard his name being called, never heard the door to the rooftop slamming open.
He only realizes someone else is there when he hears screaming as he drops, and almost feels a pair of hands grab him.