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Too bad his heart isn't listening to his brain.
Watching Scorpius make a late entrance to the Ministry's Yule Ball with Jacob Smythe on his arm has Harry grinding his teeth. They make a stunning couple. Where Scorpius is all icy aloofness, Jacob is dark and mysterious.
Harry hates the overdone Greek ponce with a burning passion. If he'd known Scorpius was going to attend in his father's stead, he would have found a way to stay home tonight. Even his flat, as lonely as it is, would have been better than coming face-to-face with Scorpius and know that, once again, Scorpius would not be going home with him.
"I never did understand why you two broke up." Hermione comes to stand beside Harry, gently bumping their elbows together. "As far as I'm concerned, you should go over there and put a stop to that nonsense."
Harry snorts softly. No one likes Jacob Smythe. It's the one thing that even Harry and Draco Malfoy agree on.
"You don't know why we broke up? Seriously, Hermione? Have you forgotten the fit Ron pitched? Or the one that you had?" Harry takes a sip of his drink, pushing away the echo of words like taking advantage of a child and I don't care if you do think you love him, he's a Malfoy and that will never be acceptable. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to rein in his anger and upset. "They were nothing compared to the absolute meltdown Malfoy had when he found out. It was too much, made every day too tense. I… we couldn't keep fighting on all fronts. At least we ended it before we started fighting with each other."
Which was why it hurts so damn much to see Scorpius now with someone else's arm snug around his waist. Harry is still in love with Scorpius. Head over heels, heart-racing-butterflies-in-his-gut in love.
"Bet Malfoy is regretting that now," Hermione says. "Merlin knows Ron and I are."
Harry jerks his gaze away from Scorpius – and, fuck, can Smythe possibly hold Scorpius any closer to his side? – and goggles at Hermione. He lets out a bark of near-hysterical laughter. "Really? Now that everything is beyond repair and Scorpius has moved on, that's when you decide to tell me, 'oh, oops, we were wrong'?"
"Harry, you don't understand."
"You're right, I don't. Not at all." Pushing away from the wall, Harry glares at Hermione. When she reaches for him, he takes a step back and shakes his head. "No. Just… just leave me alone."
Without another word, he turns his back to her and walks out onto the terrace, sucking in a deep breath of the cold night air.
* * *
The deserted balcony and biting winter winds fit his mood better than the festive evergreens and magical fires of the ballroom.
The Disillusionment Charm he cast upon himself simply guarantees even those who brave the cold for more than a few seconds will leave him alone.
When his glass is empty and his Warming Charm fades for a third time, Harry admits it is most probably time to go back in. He'll shake a few more hands and make sure Kingsley sees him circulating the room, and then he'll easily be able escape.
He should be home inside another forty-five minutes.
The promise of home, along with another gust of wind, has Harry raising his wand. He opens his mouth to cancel the Disillusionment Charm, the first syllable already whispered, and Scorpius walks out on the balcony, Smythe no more than two steps behind him.
Harry drops his hand to his side, his words disappearing into the night, and ignores the cold settling deep in his bones. This is the closest to Scorpius he's allowed himself to be since the split. As long as there is no impromptu snogging, he's going to take advantage of the situation.
And, if the spark in Scorpius's eyes is anything to go by, they're not out here for a bit of privacy and a fast grope.
"What are you playing at in there, Smythe?" Scorpius hisses.
Smythe flashes Scorpius a come-hither smirk. "I've decided it's time to move this relationship to the next level."
For a moment, Harry second-guesses his decision to observe these two. Then Scorpius snaps off a fast, "There is no relationship, you idiot," and it takes all Harry has to keep from revealing his position with a shout of glee.
"I'm using you." Scorpius drags a hand through his hair. "I told you that from the beginning. You are nothing more than a means to an end."
"You don't mean that." Smythe crowds into Scorpius's space, pushing until Scorpius is against the railing. "It might have started that way, but now…"
They're less than a metre from Harry. He can smell the spicy scent of Scorpius's cologne and see the utter loathing dancing in Scorpius's grey eyes. Harry's spirits are lighter than they've been in the months.
"Now is no different. As I've explained more than once, it's a mutually beneficial arrangement. One that, thank Merlin and Salazar both, is nearing its end. You needed an introduction into British Wizarding society and I needed a way to prove a point. My father insisted that there was no possible way for me to find someone more ill-suited for me than Harry." Scorpius drags a sharp glare over Smythe, head to toe and then back again. "I'm proving how wrong that belief was."
Pushing Smythe away from him, Scorpius cants his head to the side. "I'll just leave you to enjoy the remainder of the evening. Make the most of it, because it will be the last time you get in anywhere on the Malfoy name."
And then, with a wave of his wand and a softly muttered, "Apparate," Scorpius disappears.
Beneath the slight chatter of his teeth, warmth spreads through Harry. Having hope tends to override everything else for him.
* * *
Harry's not sure if it's because of the weather or because of what he's on the cusp of doing.
He punches in the code for the door and heads to the bank of lifts.
By the time he reaches the top floor, his hands are sweaty and a tendril of doubt and worry is edging its way through him. Standing in front of Scorpius's door, Harry whispers, "Please, don't let this be a mistake."
Scorpius opens the door mid-rant. His "Merlin be damned, Smythe, didn't I tell you…" drifts off and is replaced with a soft, "Harry."
"Hi," Harry says, fighting the urge to shift from foot to foot. "I saw you at the Ministry ball. Um, I was on the balcony when you were talking with Smythe, uh, Jacob."
He gets a slow, silent blink in return.
"Okay, maybe this was a bad idea." Nerves getting the better of him, Harry rubs his hands together and then hooks a thumb at the lifts. Taking one step back, and then another, he says, "I guess, I'll just be going, yeah? Sorry for… well, just sorry."
"I didn't…" Scorpius stops and shakes his head. "Why now, Harry? Why not a month ago, or five months ago?"
Harry stops and stares at Scorpius. "Because tonight I realised there was a chance, that maybe what I thought had ended was simply waiting to begin again. That no matter what anyone else says, I… we need it to not have ended."
"Your friends?"
"Can fuck off," Harry says quickly.
"Agreed." Scorpius arches a brow and asks, "And my father?"
"Malfoy and I have been hexing each other since we were eleven years old. We'll probably be hexing each other when we're one hundred and eleven." Harry rolls his shoulders in an easy shrug. "I can't think of a better reason for crossing wands with him than defending the person I love."
Scorpius's lips twitch with a hint of a smile. "I love you too, you prat."
There's so much that needs to be said, that needs to be worked out. Except right now he'd rather curl up with Scorpius in front of the fire and deal with all of the talking tomorrow. "Scorpius…"
Opening the door wider, Scorpius says, "Wanna come in? I was making some hot chocolate before bed."
"With cinnamon and cayenne?" Harry asks, stepping across the threshold.
Helping Harry out of his overcoat, Scorpius replies, "Now that you're home, there's no other way to have it."
Home, Harry thinks. It's what he's been missing for the past six months. Looking at Scorpius, he holds out a hand and grins when Scorpius twines their fingers together. "It's good to be home."
* * * * *