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satoru gojo. the strongest sorcerer of today and the man you’ve been hopelessly in love with for the past decade or so, maybe ever since you saw him in jujutsu tech— point is, you’ve been in love with him for a looong time. longer than you’d like.
maybe it was the stupid grin he’d have on his face every time he told a dumb joke and you laughed, or maybe it was the way he clearly cared for the new generation of sorcerers and tried his best to steer them in the right direction. maybe it was his ability to always be lighthearted during situations where you’re so close to breaking down.
maybe it was the way he always stayed just a little too close for comfort, never really caring for others personal space. or the way he never gave up despite how far away a goal seemed to be.
that’s why you find yourself sitting in the staff room and flat out admiring satoru from afar— not even bothering to be discreet because it’s never been a secret that you had a crush on him, not in all those years.
satoru must’ve gotten his undercut done today since its looking sharper than usual, you’d compliment him but what do you even say? any comment would be weird & creepy since you’re the only one who noticed— which is to be expected, your gaze never seems to stray far away from satoru whenever he’s around. plus, it’s not like satoru doesn’t know you’re watching him, he can feel your gaze on him via his six eyes.
after all, he’s not dumb— you just wonder why he never says anything about it. anytime satoru turned to look at you through his blindfold he’d just glance at you briefly before going back to whatever it is he was doing. no comment about your obvious staring or the fact you smile at him softly every time, nothing. nada.
“its for the better,” you’re sure he knows about your crush, whether because someone told him or he knew by himself; it didn’t matter at all since neither of you were gonna do anything about it.
it’d be worse if you confessed and satoru just rejected you. after all, even if you’re sure he doesn’t like you, it would still hurt to hear him say it.
a dreamy sigh escapes you, gaze soft as you watch satoru laugh at whatever it is that utahime said— probably teasing her from the look on her face. the whole room fades into obscurity, your focus on satoru alone, watching the way his blindfold moves with his eyes and the grin that paints itself on his lips. the crinkling of his uniform and the likes with your head in your hands.
satoru pauses suddenly, glancing to the side and catching your staring. his mouth forms into a silent ‘O’ shape before it slowly morphs into a toothy smile— the kind that shows his small fangs— your face heats up and you shyly— very slowly— wave at him from your position, watching as satoru goes back to teasing utahime and leaving you a little dumbfounded.
in all instances of satoru catching you staring at him longingly, hes never once smiled or did anything like that. it’s stupid, he smiled at you once and your heart is already ramming against your ribs uncontrollably. but stupid as it may be, satoru smiled at you anyways.
exhaling, you slump against the desk, letting your cheek press against it while your brain speeds through why satoru even did that. the rational part in you argues its nothing, that it was just a smile and it wasn’t like he kissed you or anything so there’s no reason to be all worked up over something as tiny as that.
however, the romantic half of you sees it as a chance, maybe if you play your cards right you can even get a date or something! all those years of liking him wont go to waste, all those daydreams might actually happen.
god, you feel so pathetic; like some teenager seeing their crush for the first time ever— it’s humiliating, to be crushing on the same person for 12 years knowing you stand no chance to be with them. and yet everyday feels like another reason to be crushing on satoru.
sighing, you try as hard as possible to shake off the earlier nervousness & embarrassment and get up, pretending you have some class to teach right now despite no classes being on for now. needing a breath of fresh air to try and quit overthinking it all.
. . .
wind goes through your hair and passes over your cheeks in a gentle caress, inhaling in & closing your eyes briefly to clear your mind. opening your eyes, you watch the scenery of the sun setting in thought.
is it really possible for satoru to love you? after all these years, you doubt it could even be a possibility and yet here you are, undone by a simple smile from him.
yeah, you’re not getting over him anytime soon, are you?