Chapter Text
Going to study abroad in England isn't cheap. Even with a scholarship, you still need to pay a part of the tuition. Apart from that you need money to buy food, clothes, and textbooks.
For most normal middle class family, sending their kid to study abroad isn't possible due to their financial situation. But with some sacrifices it can be done.
The Chihaya household is your everyday middle clsss family. They would do anything for their only child. A smart but shy girl, with one of the purest heart. She isn't very sociable, doesn't have confidenve in herself, and has stage fright whenever she has to give speeches, or is thrown in a clasroom with new clasmates. Even then, they willl always love and suport her unconditionally.
When the oportunity came for her to study abroad she was overjoyed and so were her parents. From a young age she learned english due to his father hobby of playing the guitar. She learned english through the songs his father liked. The father would play the guitar and Anon would do the vocales, while her mother recorded and cheered them.
Her father taught her some of the basics of playing guitar, and some beginner songs. He even offered to buy a guitar for her, but she refused. Her focus was on signing, so she could see his father play the guitar by her side.
//
She was so overjoyed on the idea of studying abroad, that she overlooked one crucial factor. Her parents wouldn't be with her. She acknowledge this fact in the airport just before leaving. Whenever she was feeling nervous her stomached would ache and could throw up in any second.
Her parents that knew her best noticeded this. His father placed his hand on her shoulders and gave her one final speech before she left.
"Anon, life doesn't always take us where we want to be. There will be people who will tell you that the path you take is wrong, don't listen to them. The only one who can can decide if it's a good or a bad path is you.
You will fail and make mistakes along the way, but that's okay. We are humans, and we make mistakes, we aren't perfect. What matters is that you get back on your feet and keep moving forward, withouth forgeting who you are. You are a Chihaya, we always bounce back at any hardships that we face.
There will be people who would be kind to you, people who want to make you inferior from them to make themselves better. Don't listen to them, we are all equals, there is no one that is inferior or superior than anyone. Because we all are special in some ways, there are people who can be better than you in some subjects, but that doesn't mean you have to stop trying. You have your own strenght and weaknesses, you will need to use your strenght to outshine your weaknesses.
Above all else rember this... We will always be here to suport you, no matter what you do. If it gets to hard don't hesitate to call or to return home with us" with his final speech done, he pulled her in a thight hug. His mother did the same and the three of them cried together.
With her confidence replenished, she said one final goodbye to her parents. It would be the last time she saw them before going to England.
She got on the airplane with her eyes red and puffed, but she was happy. She would make both of her parents proud.
//
The First week
September
Anon was always confident in her english skills. But when she got there the difference between a native speaker and one who only leanred through textbooks and songs was clearly shown. Couple that with the fact that she stuttered under pressure or whenever she was feeling nervous meeting new people. She stuttered in her presentation during her first day, it got to the point that she ended up speaking in japanse.
Due to her presentation she was made fun of by her clasmates and din't make any friends. She was secluded during clases and breaks. Even her roomate on campus made fun of her, and din't even called her for her name.
During those times she closed herself off to other through music. It was her safe space, music wouldn't make fun of her because she din't know how to pronunce words used by locals, or when she stuttered while feeling nervous.
Rembering her father words she decided to keep moving forward. She would try harder to learn on how to pronounce the hard works. She wouldn't stutter no more whenever she had to talk.
If only she tried harder. Maybe she could be accepted for who she was. If she din't stutter no more she could talk to other and make friends. She told herself that everyday before sleeping. Just a bit more, just try a little harder.
//
The first month. October
For the rest of her first month in England she bought herself textbooks to get a better at pronouncing and writing in english.
Her free time went exclusively to improving her english. From writing essays to later read them out loud. To placing a pencil in her mouth and reading it infront of a mirror. And her favorite way of practice, signing in the shower.
This helped her whenever she needed to respond questions, or read out loud in class. This earned her the praise of the teachers for bouncing back from her disastrous fist week in school.
Talking to strangers to act for directions or to cashier whenever she wanted to buy something, was still difficult. Some people wouldn't have the patience to dealt with some foreign, and would tell her straight in the face "Go back to your country, if you can't even say something as simple as that withouth stutrering". While other had the patience to wait for her to finish speaking, some even gave her tips to improve, ir will point out if she made a mistake while pronouncing.
As for her interactions with her clasmates,they were only limited to greetings or whenever they asked her for homeworks. She was happy that they even talked to her, even if it only was for her homework. If she could make herself useful, sooner or later they will want to befriend her, maybe even invite her to hang out after school. That's what she always wanted. Friends to hang around after school, having small talk about whatever topic they were interested in.
She was feeling more confident with time, she began to smile more. Whenever her parents called her to check, how was she doing, she din't need to fake a smile anymore.
Her clasmates din't made fun of her as much as they used to be during her first week. They still called her name wrong but that din't bother her as much as it did. She thought that it was just a joke they have with her, and for her it was better to make other laugh, than to be completely invisible in the eyes of others.
//
The second month. November
During her second month in England things din't change much, her relationship with her clasmates was still the same, she still stuttered with her words whenever she was feeling nervous.
That din't stop her from improving her speaking skills, she often stayed back in classes to ask the teachers for guidance. They gladly helped her improve and they praised her for the hard work she was putting.
What did change was the fact that stranges letters strated appearing under her desk. Most of them were love confessions, telling her to meet them behind the school. She noticed it was probably a prank they pulled for her, she decided to avoid for now. It wasn't a big thing for her to make a fuss about it.
She called everyday at night to her parents. They missed each other so much, if they wanted to meet again, they would to wait for her to finish her first year. She had to lie about having made friends to her parents to not made them worry to much, it was one of the things her parents feared the most.
//
The third month. December
This would be the first time Anon wouldn't be with her family during Christmas and New Year. They couldn't afford to stay in England during the holidays. They offered her to come back, but she denied. She knew that her parents were working extra hard to provide for her. So she din't want to invonience them.
She spent both holidays in videocall with her family the whole time. Her roomate went home to spend the holidays with her family. Being alone during the holidays was definetly strange. Even with the distance, the videocall with her family kept her company.
Being apart din't stop them from doing their usual mini concerts. His father played the guitar while she signed, and her mother doing back up vocals. It was just like been home.
//
The fourth month. January
With the holidays done shcool returned as usual. At first it was like nothing changed from before the holidays. But she noticed it pretty quickly.
Her class had a group chat where they would pass information around themselves. This was it's original purpose, but it quickly changed, for something more perverse.
A group of girls strated using stickers with photos of Anon in the group chat, to make fun of her. At first it was only stickers of her when she froze in the middle of her presentation, withouth any captions.
She decided to just ignore it, because it din't disturb her as much as what they did next. They strated to use even more stickers of Anon thay had created. With captions like "When I'm retarted", "Me,when I eat rocks", "The ugly bitch, that calls you twin", "Fat and ugly bitches be like". All of this stickers had her face on it.
They even printed the stickers and left them at her desk. This only made her confidence in herself drop even more. Any normal teenage girl her age, would take hurftul comments about her appearnce badly, and she wasn't the exception.
Any normal person would never call Anon, a ugly or fat girl. Even in her middle school weren't she din't interact as much with other, she heard that she was placed in the top 3 most beautiful girls in the school, and the two girls above her were young teachers. Even her glasses helped her reflect her face features.
Now with people calling her fat and ugly every day, she stared to believe it. She couldn't even look herself in the mirror anymore. Every part of her body made her feel uncomfortable, she hated how she saw herself in the mirror.
Anon strated to eat even less food. The food in England never suited her taste. Now with the fact that she thought she was fat, she ate the bare minimun. She strated to make herself throw up her food, whenever she felt guilty of eating something.
This made her even skinnier that she already was. She strated to feel anemic during clases. One of her teacher noticed this and told her to stay back after class, to have a talk.
Anon showed him the stickers they were making of her. He was disapointed in his students behaviour. He promised Anon that he would talk to them, so they can stop it before it gets more serious.
The next day when class strated, he gave them a lecture abouth the stickers they made of Anon. He made them apologize to Anon and to promise to not do it again.
The group of girls who strated it only got a warning about what they done. They promised to never do it again.
For the last week of January they stoped bothering her. But something told her that they wouldn't stop, that they would do it again once it was on the past.
//
The fifth month February
Just like she thought, they strated again. Once February started, the comments and stickers abouth her resumed. This time they were calling her "teacher's pet". They strated rumors about her having a secret relationship with her teacher.
Another rumors they strated was that she would fuck anyone who paid her. It got to the point that guys aproached her to ask her how much it cost to have sex with her. They even strated to spread her phone number, and she started to receive text asking if the rurmors where true, and how much it cost.
That wasn't the only thing they strated doing. The girs followed her to the bathroom or straight dragged her there. Once in the bathrooms they would lock her in the stalls for hours.
With time it scaled. They would take her to the stall and force her to drink water straight from the toilets, while kicking her in the ribs if she refused. All of this was done while they recorded it and took pictures of it.
Anon was so scared of them, that she din't even told the teacher about it, or try and stook out for herself. They threatened her that if she talked again, the things they would only be worse.
Anon decided to try and take all of it alone. With the hope that they would loose interest in her. She was praying they would just get bored already so she could return to her secluded but peacefull life.
She cried to herself everynight, all alone, withouth someone she could depend. Anon din't told her parents about what was going on, she din't want to defraud them.
//
The six month March
If she could describe her last month in a single word it would be, hell. The agresions only increased with time, one more perverse than the other. All of the things they did to her would remain in her memory, for the rest of her life.
One day like usual, they dragged her to the bathroom. This time they made her throw up all the food she ate at lunch. They made her throw up so much, that she only spitted water, it even got to her clothes. They took of her clothes, only leaving her on her underwear.
She was left all alone in the bathroom for the rest of the day. She din't have no choice but to wait for the rest of students to leave. She needed to make a run for her life to her dorm, while been practically naked.
She stayed on the cold floor of the stall, balled up to make herself tiny, while she cried her heart out. Nobody even dared to check on her while she was in that state.
Once the school ended and before the clening ladies could enter to find her, she exited the bathroom. Just like she expect, she was greeted by the sight of her clasmates with their phones out recording her as she exited. She stormed out like her life depended on it. Before she noticed she was back in her room, her vision blurry due to tears un her eyes.
The first thing she did inside was take her phone out to call her father. Before she did that, she made one crucial mistake. She checked the messages that were in the group chat. All of the videos and photos they took of her were in there.
She couldn't take anymore, she wanted to be home, with her family again. She called her father while in panic, she tried to explain to him what happened, but due to her panic she couldn't explain properly. Her father tried to calm her down, telling her that she could explain all of it later. He told her to only focus on saying the most important thing right now.
"I... want to go home... I can't take it anymore.... It's like being in hell, in here" she said in a small whisper while cutting herself while crying.
"Okay... How about you go to a hotel for some time? We can figure things out once you have calmed down" the father responded worried.
Anon dressed herself to get out. She gathered all of her belongings on her suitcase and left the dorm. She went to the nearest hotel she could find. She reserved a room for the night, for the time being.
She slummed into bed, balled herself up, and cried herself until she could sleep.
The next day when she woke up, the first thing she did was call her father again. Due to the time difference it was night on Japan, so her mother was there too. She explained everything she went through to her parents. All the things they did and say to her.
The parents went speechless, at all the things Anon went through. After some moments of silence, they told her it was okay to come back. They bought a plain ticket that would have her in Japan as soon as posible. The plane would take off at 20:30 in that same day.
Picking up all the strenght she could gather, she got out of the bed. Grabbed her suitcase again and went to school one final time.
At school she went straight to the director office so she could drop out of school. When questioned about it, she just responded that she could adapt and that she wanted to go back home. The director din't questioned forward, he sensed that it wasn't just because she couldn't adapt.
With that done she stormed out of school before her clasmates could stop her. Once outside the school she called a taxi so she could go straight to the embassy of japan in England. There she did all the paperwork she requiered to return to Japan as fast as posible. The bureaucratic process took her the whole day. Once she got out they were only three hours before her flight took off. She called another taxi, and made it time before the pasangers had to board the plane.
//
Once on the plane she could finally relaxed herself. She was in a constant state of panicking, her eyes began to fell heavy. She din't get to sleep more than four hours a day, and the effects were strating to catch up on her.
The longing to reunite with her finally will finally be over. She would embrace her parents again, cried on their shoulder. To then go home, have the dinner her mother prepared. Then to end the night she would do a mini concert with her father again, sign their favorite song again,over and over.
To end the night she would sleep while she hugged her mother. She din't care she was to big for that, she still was mom's little girl. She could always feel safe whenever she embraced her.
//
Once the plane landed she texted her parents, the message went throught but they din't read it. She went through all the process, of picking up her luggage, and migrations.
Once it was all done she stepped foot on the airport main hall. She looked around looking for her parents, she din't find them anywhere, she stood there as she watched others family reunions. She decided to check her messages, in the hope of finding something. It din't mark as read, she decided to call them, no response either. Anon started to panick in that exact moment as she kept on calling both her father and mother.
The panick of her parents not picking up the phone, forced her to find a place to seat, her legs were trembling, and about to give up on her in any moment.
Finally her phone ringed, the image displayed, was of his father. She picked up and brought it to her ear, before she could say anything a voice cutted her off "Is this Chihaya Anon? We are sorry to inform you that your parents have been caught in a traffic accident...."
The words that followed felt like something straight out from on of her scariest nightmares. They have died in a traffic accident. A truck driver had a heart attack and lost control, and crashed the front of their family car. They died instantly in the crash, once they have managed to take them out of the car, they din't have any life signals.
She felt like her whole world crumbled all arround her. She escaped the hell that was England, the constant nightmares that hunted her during that time. Only for her to be thrown again to a different type of hell.
To escape the hell that was England, she had the support of her parents. Now, she din't have anyone to support her, only herself. Both of her grandparents have already passed away when she was young. She din't had any close relatives with she could stay.
She brought her knees to her face, while she cried. She stayed like that for a good time. A couple of stranger took pitty on her and aproached her to see if she was okay.
Anon wouldn't respond to any questions they asked, from their accent she could tell they were foreingers.
"Do you have someone to pick you up" one of the girls asked. Anon shoocked her head in denial.
"Okay... Do you want to share a cab with us?"
She was about to denied the offer, but she decided to think about it. The cost of taking a taxi from the airport to the morgue, would surely be too high, for her to pay it all alone.
They din't seem like bad people who would trick her. The fact that the two of them were girls helped her trust them a bit.
Her only choice for her was to accept the offer of the two girls. The two girls helped Anon to outside the airport. They called for a taxi big enough to fit the luggage of the three girls.
During the way to the morgue, the girls tried to make small talk with Anon, she din't have the strenght to talk back. She was trying to gather all the strenght she had to prepare herself for when she arrived at the morgue
When the cab arrived at it's first destination, Anon offered to cover a part of the trip. The couple refused her money, and told her it was okay.
This only made Anon feel even more guilty, she had took advantage of a couple for a free ride. Even she knew that they were trying to do a good act. It made her feel like she only took things from strangers withouth giving anything in exchange.
Pushing those thoughts aside for now, she entered the morgue. She had to fill out some paperwork for what to do for their funeral. She insisted it wouldn't be necesary to have a ceremony. In true she wouldn't have the strenght to show up.
Once the paperwork was done they offered her If she wanted to see the bodies. She had do refuse, if she saw them in that state she would break down again.
They gave her the belongings they had found in them. Their wallets, phones, and the nelckace her mother always carried. It was a silver nelckace with a heart desing in it. Anon grabbed and place it herself. As if to carry her mother with her.
Their wallets were almost empty, just some small bills and lot of coins. Apart from the cash, they had debits cards, and she would have to check that at a later time.
For now she decided to return home, her house was nerby the morgue, she had to walk for some minutes to get to the station, from there she only needed to wait for four stops before she arrived close by her home.
The way to the station wasn't a problem, her suitcase had wheels, so pushing it wasn't a problem. The problem was her anemic, once she got on the train she began to feel dizzy. Her poor nutrition, and lack of minerals were starting to have serious effects on her.
Once she got off the train she went directly to a vending machine, she bought herself a sports drink. Now with her drink she decided to rest for a while on the floor while she drinked her sports drink.
As she regained her strenght something caught her eye. It was a group of girls from around her age, they were full of smiles between themselves, they were carrying bags from high end clothing stores.
She always wanted to have friends to do things like that. But due to her timid nature, she never managed to befriend anybody, to act like that.
Her family financial status din't helpo either. They couldn't afford clothes like that. Like always her mother always found the way for Anon to dress fashionable withouth expending big money, on designer clothing.
Her mother was good with her hands, so she would sew Anon's own clothes. Thanks to this Anon picked up the interest in designing clothes. She was actually pretty skilled, having designed her own outfits, with the teaching of her mother on how to sew clothes.
It was time consuming, but she din't the care. The end results were always satisfied her needs. She even designed clothes so she could gifted to her parents on their birthdays. Anon usted her own allowance to buy the supplies. Making the gifts herself always felt better than buying it.
Once she finished her thoughts, she got back on her feets, downed the last of her sports drinks, and made her way back home.
Arriving at the apartament where they lived. Anon used her key to enter, once inside the smell of their home was still the same she remebered. It was always a welcoming scent, the one of home cooked meals. That smell made her stomach growl, she made her way to the kitchen and opened the fridge.
Anon heated up the food that was left on the fridge. Taking a seat on the table alone, it hit here again. She would never have dinner with them again. She forced herself to eat while crying. The warm and delicious food her mother cooked was always amazing. It would be the last time she would eat it.
After finishing eating, she did the dishes. As the sun began to settle she decided to took s bath. The warm and relaxing bath made her even sleepier than she already was.
Finishing the bath, drying her hair and changing into her pijamas. Took all of the energy she had. Colapasing into bed she fell into a profound sleep.
//
The next day she woke up at around 10. She got out of bed and withouth bothering to go clean herself up, she went to the kitchen. She prepared hersef scrambled eggs and black tea. When she finished eating, a knock on the door caught her un surpise.
Going to the door she hesitated on opening. She decided to open the door sligthly to see who was knocking the door. When she opened she was met with the sight of her tenant. A woman in her mid 30's with long black hair.
"Long time no see, Anon-chan" the woman said in a warm voice.
"Yeah... How about you come in, Aizawa-san?"
"If isn't a incomvenience. I would like to have a talk with your father" she said stepping inside.
The mention of her father sent a shiver down her spine. She moved to the kitchen to prepare her some tea. While she prepared mentally for this talk.
"Thank you very much" the woman repiled taking in the cup of tea to her lips.
"Don't mention it... If you need to say something to my father... I would pass the message to him"
"I would much prefer if he was here. So if he isn't here I would come back later" as she was about to get up, she noticed the troubled look Anon had.
"He wouldn't come back... They passed away Yesterday...." It took al of her strenght to not cry.
"I'm sorry to hear that... My condolences" the woman responded with guilt in her voice.
"So... What did you wanted to tell him?"
".... Is about the contact renewal. This is the last month you can stay here... If you want to continue, we can discuss this at a later time" the woman voice turned into bussines mode.
"You don't have to worry about it... I will be leaving by the end of the month to a relatives place" it was a lie. She din't have any place to stay beside this. The money they left her wasn't enough to cover the rent. Besides since she would live alone, the house was too big for her.
"That's good to here... You can return the keys at any moment, or just leave it at recepction" the woman took one last sip from her cup and left, Anon alone.
//
During the last weeks of the month, Anon tried to find a part time. It went horrible bad. From feeling nervous during the interview, and not being able to respond their questions. To not being able to able to dealt with customers, and running away after her first day.
The last day she could stay in the apartament arrived, she still couldn't land a part time, for now. With no other thing to do, she strated packing up her things.
The aparment wasn't big, and she din't have many things. So she finished quickly, but now she had to do something, she din't want to do, since she came back. Entering her parents room.
With hesitation she opened the door, and steped inside. The memories she spent in that room, and the memories of her parents hit her all at once. She packed everything into boxes, slowly while she was sobbing.
The proccess of packing up everything felt endless. She was attached to their belongings, they all had a story behind them. The clothes she made and gifted to them. The clothes they made together while her mother taught her. The family pictures they took together, the one when she received the certificate to study abroad.
She separed the family album to take it with her. With the rest of their belongings to he left behind, for other to have it, apart from one. Her father's guitar.
In the past he offered her to have it, and even offered to buy her whatever guitar she liked. Anon always refused, her focus was always on signing while being her father's guitar complemented her signing.
Now with him gone, she din't want to leave his guitar behind. She grabbed the guitar case and opened it. Inside was the ESP ULTRATONE, with a See Thru Surf Green finish. Her father always had a liking to guitars. He liked to collect them, and he even thought of becoming a rockstar with his band, but a meeting changed his resolve. He meet Anon's mother, her wife. He soon realized that he wasn't made for the rockstar life. He decided to settle and have a normal life with her loved one. He decided to sell all of his guitars, to other musicians who were starting out. Despite Anon young age, the memory of the first time she saw the guitar was kept on her mind over the years. When she was four years old, her father took her to a mall, to buy a present for her mother. While on the mall she was distracted by a music store. In display was the guitar his father would later use. ------------ "Do you like guitars, Anon?" His father asked kneeling beside her. "Yeah, they look so cool" she said overjoyed poiting at it. "You are to young for it. When you get a little older, I would teach you" he answered with a smirk on his face. "You know how to play the guitar? That's so cool. You would look even cooler with that guitar" "Do you think,so?" "Yes! Imagine me signing, while you play the guitar by my side. We would be the coolest duo" ------------ That was all the convicing it took for him to buy a guitar again, after so much time. The guitar had a great emotional value to her. So she couldn't left it behind.
She prepared her suitcase, clothes for both winter and summer. She din't want to spend money on clothing for a long time. Her family album, the memento of her family. Jewerly from both her mother and father, she took anything of value, if she needed money, she could pawn it.
Lastly his father guitar, she had everything that she needed. Before exiting she stood on the entry way. She said her last goodbye to her house.
Anon returned her keys to the tenant, and told her to do keep anything she left behind. She asked to donate the clothes if she din't want to keep.
//
For the first two weeks of Aprhil, Anon jumped from one part time no another. She couldn't find anything, nobody wanted to hire a teenage girl, who only had her middle school finished, and din't even tried to start highschool.
Schools already strated in Aprhil. Anon din't bother trying to get to school. She wanted to find a part time job, so she could have some income. She only had some money her parents left her.
With no place to call home, she stayed in internet cafes to sleep at night. While during the day she wondered around looking for a job. Eating only convenience store food din't help much with her anemic. Due to her heavy weight loss, she only weighted around 38 kilos. Even carrying her guitar case in her back was difficult if she din't take breaks.
On her third week of searching she finally got a part time at a cafe. The girl that interviewed her was just two years older than her. She was a kind girl who didn't judge or said anything bad to her because she stuttered while talking. Instead she waited for her to calm down and talk.
During her fist day, she tried to adapt to serving customers. She made some mistakes so she was sent to work behind the counter, preparing drinks. She stayed like that for a few days behind the counter, until one day they needed her to be serving customers.
At first she din't do very good, with time she did least mistakes. She was feeling confident again in her work, even her senpai had praised her.
Until she had to work on the aniversary of the death of her parents. At first she was okay, but as she worked further in the day, the sight of families made her remeber them. It all fell apart when a customer got mad, and started chewing at her because his order was taking time, despite the cafe being full.
The mix of the memories of her parents and the memories of when in England everyone bullied her, hitted her all at once. She stormed back to the bathroom and throw up. Shortly after her senpai came to help her out.
"It's okay, Anon-chan. Don't let what he said affect you"
"No... It's true. All that he said Is true..... I'm wortheless"
"Don't say that.... You are incredible person, you are smart and you even made your own clothes"
"I'm worthelss.... I din't even start highschool.... And my parents are dead because of me...." Anon some nitgh was hunted by nightmares. There normally were about her being with her family, then they are suck by a void. The last thing she would remember was that she told herself that it was her fault.
"Don't say that.... It wasn't your fault, Anon. You don't have to worry about dealing with people like them again. Just call me and I will deal with them"
"I can't.... I haven't done anything to help you. I'm just making troubles for you, Tsugumi-senpai.... I want to go home..." Anon broke down crying. Tssugumi embraced her while patting her back.
"You can go now, Anon-chan. Go and rest for the day. You don't have to come if you don't feel right"
//
Anon changed back into her usual clothes. Despite her senpai telling her to go back home, she din't. She stayed until the cafe closed, she din't want to be a burden to her anymore.
She exited the cafe once it was closed, and made her way to the internet cafe, to stay the night. While lose on her thougts about her parents, she din't notice she took the wrong way.
Before she was able to turn around, the sound of a guitar called her atention. She din't recognize the song from where it came. Anon could feel like if the guitar was talking. It was alone, she had lose home, people failed to understand her, the air was suffocating to her.
This were all things Anon had experienced. She was alone since she lost her parents. Din't had a home to call her own. Her clasmates in England never undestood her and bullied her. The air in England was suffocating to her, it felt like she was drowning.
With nothing better to do she decided to investigate who was playing the guitar. Just some steps ahead, Anon came across the source of the sounds. A pettite girl with short albino hair, surrounded by cats in a parking lot.
Anon aproached the girl slowly, not wanting to interrupt her. The cats were focused on the girl playing the guitar, like if they were the audience. Her playing was captivating, she couldn't stop a "Wow" coming out of her mouth.
The girl stopped playing, and moved her head to look at Anon. Their eyes met. Anon was captivated by her mismatched eye's colors, on the left a blue that was even more gorgeus than of the sky and the right a yellow like gold eye.
Anon stood there withouth saying anything for a few seconds. The sound of a cat snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Sorry... I din't meant to disturb you.... It's just that... The way you play the guitar... It's almost like you are talking through her"
The girl was suprised for a moment, after a few seconds of staring at Anon, a smirk appeared on her face "Guitar" she asked pointing at Anon's guitar case.
"Oh yeah" Anon took a seat next to the girl in the guardrail, facing her. She took out the guitar out of the case and placed it on her lap.
"Let's play"
"I... Haven't play in a long time... Besides I don't know that song you were...." Her words was cutt by the sound of the guitar. She could recognise that riff anywhere, it was her favorite song, to sing with his father. It was "What's up" by 4 non blondes
"Let's play" the girl said again.
"I don't think, I rember how to play it... But I can sign" it was true. She hadn't play the guitar weeks before she left to England. Once she returned she din't had the motivation to play or do anything. Since she returned she just drifted away, withouth a clear path.
"He knows" the girl pointed at Anon's guitar.
"Why would a guitar know how to..." Something told her she wasn't talking about her guitar. How could she forgot. It was the third song his father taught her. It was his favorite song to.
"Can you tune it for me?" The girl nodded and took her guitar and placed in on her laps. She quickly tuned it and returned to her with a green guitar pick. It had the name of a livehouse, "Space".
Anon placed her fingers on the A chord, and took a deep breathe. She was going to do the rythm part and leave the lead part to the girl. Once she was prepared she started, soon after the girl entered right on time.
She din't know if the girl wanted to sign, but she din't care. She was going to sign it to her heart content. Vent out all of her emotions in that exact moment.
"Twenty-five years and my life is still,
Tryin' to get up that great big hill of hope,
For a destination,
I realized quickly when I knew I should,
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man,
For whatever that means.
And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed,
Just to get it all out what's in my head,
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar,
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside,
And I take a deep breath and I get real high,
And I scream from the top of my lungs: What's going on?
And I say: Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey
I said: Hey! A-what's going on?
And I say: Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey
I said: Hey! A-what's going on?"
There was a bit of time before the next verse came, during all this time she was looking down at where she placed her fingers. She made some mistakes with her tempo, but she din't care. She was having so much fun.
Lifting her gaze, her eyes met with the girl's. She had the warmest and happiest smile anyone apart from her family had shown her. The both of them were having fun.
For the last part of the song, Anon decided to have her 200% in the signing, with her eyes locked on the girl infront of her.
She took a deep breathe and sygated again. She was going to scream from the top of her lungs.
"And I try,
Oh my God, do I try,
I try all the time,
In this institution,
And I pray,
Oh my God, do I pray,
I pray every single day,
For a revolution.
And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed,
Just to get it all out what's in my head,
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar,
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside,
And I take a deep breath and I get real high,
And I scream from the top of my lungs: What's going on?
And I say: Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey
I said: Hey! A-what's going on?
And I say: Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey
I said: Hey! A-what's going on?
Twenty-five years and my life is still
Tryin' to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination"
And with that the song ended. The girl had one big smirk on her face "That was fun" was all the girl said.
"Indeed it was. What's your name? Mine Is Anon"
"Raana"
"So, Raana-chan... Can I ask you something" she asked nervously, Raana responded with a nod "Do you come only here? I want to play or hear you play again with you" she wanted to meet her again, she sensed that she could become her first ever close friend.
"Mmmm I play wherever I feel like it"
"That doesn't make it easier.... Then what about this "Space" live house?"
"It was destroyed" she shifted her gaze to the side "She told me "you will find your own place to belong""
Anon realized they were similar, they have both lose their home, the only place they could belong. People din't undestand them. They were searching for a place to belong.
"So... How about we find it together? I have lost... everything that mattered to me. So I want us to find a home for ourselves" Anon stated with a confidence she had thought she lost.
The girl had a smirk on her face , she nodded "Interesting girl" she strated placing her guitar on her case. Anon did the same, after placing her guitar on her case again. She got up grabbed her suitcase and placed her case on the back again.
Raana grabbed Anon's hand and strated walking. Anon din't refuse, she just followed the albino behind her. The warm of their hands helped her relax and forget all of her problems. Raana brought Anon into her home. Anon was suprised to see that the girl was living in such a big house. She asumed that her family much be rich. Stepping inside as they took their shoes out, Raana's mom came to the front door "You finally came back, dinner is almost...." She stopped talking when her eyes landed on Anon. "I'm sorry to intrue, withouth asking, Ms. Kaname. My name Is Chihaya Anon" Anon answered while bowing her head. "It's okay, you don't have to worry. If you are Raana's friend you are always welcome... Are you okay Anon-chan?" The mother asked worried when she noticed how pale Anon was the whole time. "I'm okay, you don't ha..." Anon started getting dizzy. She lost force on her legs and she dropped to the ground, with her back against the wall. Her breathing became unstable, she had forced her body to much during the day. "Anon, do you want to go to the hospital? You don't look so good" the mother asked as she aproached Anon. "No... It's just happends sometimes. I will get better if I rest for a bit" she din't had the money to pay for a hospital, and din't want to make them paid "Just take me to a seat" The mother and Raana helped Anon to a more comfortable position in the coach of the living room. Raana grabbed Anon's guitar and dragged her mother away, leaving Anon to rest for a while.
Left alone she had some time to nap, she closed her eyes and felt asleep in seconds. After a while she felt something warm besides her, and some weight on her left arm. Slowly opening her eyes, she was met with the sight of Raana sleeping. Her head was resting on her arm.
"Sigh... This girl. Come up, wake up. We have guests" and old lady appeared and grabbed Raana by the back of her shirt pulling her up from Anon. It was like a owner grabbing his cat by the back of their neck.
"Is dinner ready?" Raana asked. The old lady responded with a nod. She then proceeded to drag Anon to the table, Anon was still half asleep al once she arrived at the table she was tossed to a seat beside the cat girl.
Soon enough the food was served on the table. Everything looked delicious, from the soba, to her favorite smoked salmon. She served herself the rice and smoked salmon.
The taste of the salmon brought her memories, of how her mother used to make it for her in special ocassions. They would seat to eat together. Raana grabbed her hand, snapping her out of her thoughts.
They may have been gone, but she wouldn't be anymore. She had find a new friend, someone who din't need to talk much, someone who shared her liking of music.
//
After eating finishing her food, she went to take a bath. After she was done Raaana entered to take a bath too. With nothing else to do she decided to search for her guitar.
She found the old lady seating in the living room while inspecting Anon's guitar. "This wasn't yours, right?" The woman asked as Anon took a seat beside her.
"No... It was my father. Today was the first time I have used, since I got it a month ago"
"You should take better care of it. This is a pretty good guitar, to not be used properly by someone you age"
"Sorry... It's just that I haven't had the time or the mood to play"
"Do you want to keep playing?" The old lady asked with a frown on her face.
".... Yes, I want to continue playing and signing with Raana-chan" she din't had a purpose or a motivation to keep going since she got back from England.
Playing with Raana made her feel alive again. It helped her distract from her problems. The moment she strated signing, she finally expressed her emotions she had buried in her heart.
She was confused, she din't had any clear path in her life. All the things she wanted to do in the future came down at her. But not having a destination din't matter no more, she had someone to keep moving forward, searching for a home. A place to belong.
"You realize Raana is special? She has gift to express herself through her guitar" Anon nodded at her "You are going to slow her down. Your signing it's really good from what she told me. But if you want to play the guitar you are gonna be dead weight to her"
"Then I just have to keep practicing, so one day I can stand on stage beside her, complimenting her guitar with mine. I would just have to give it my all"
A warm smile appeared on the old lady face "You better don't defraud me. I'm not going easy on your training"
"Wait. You are going to teach me?"
"Yes, I was once a guitarist too. I had my own band, then I had my own livehouse for girls. So I know all there Is to be a good guitarist. Besides, Raana was the one who asked me"
"She did that?"
"Yes, she is very close off. So, when she asked me to take care of you, I couldn't refuse"
"That's so nice of her..." She was greatful someone cared so much about her. Even though they have just got to know each other.
"You have been through a lot haven't you? I was surely hard to be left all alone, to have to continue moving forward, withouth them, hasn't it?"
"How... Did you know?" She hadn't mention she had lost her parents in any moment.
"Just look at yourself. You carry around all day a suitcase, and case behind your back everyday. You are pale, and you are too skinny for your own good"
"But... You don't have to worry no more. You can stay and live with us. We will be happy to have you stay here aslong as you want"
Anon was left speechless. She thought that since she had lost her family, she wouldn't find a new one. That nobody would want to live with someone like her.
She couldn't stop herself from crying, and embraced the old lady. They have been so kind to them, they offered her food and a place to stay, withouth asking for anything.
She had truly found a place to call home.