Chapter Text
CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL
This was perhaps Loki’s most secret experiment. No one knew how he managed it, but somehow, he had managed to make a perfect clone of not only earth, but pretty much everything in it. even the people were cloned perfectly. but it wasn't just earth and its people that were cloned, many other races such as the Nox, Tok’ra, Tolan, and even the Goa’uld have had their fair share of clones made.
He had done this as a means of seeing if it were possible to somehow bring peace amongst the races in a way of ending the war with the Goa'uld, even if everyone thought he was insane. The odd thing was, it had worked. But not in the way everyone had suspected.
Not everyone was a perfect clone, some such as SG1, Ba’al, and a few others only came out at the senior age of high school.
This presented the greatest opportunity to change the past as the perfect clones had agreed to raise them and teach them about where they came from in the hopes of changing their path to war.
…
It was a pretty average day in Cheyenne Mountain High School. In fact it was so average that it was even teetering on the edge of boredom for the students of Ms. Langford’s Intergalactic Cultures class.
The local football quarterback, Teal’c was trying to kill the boredom by attempting to read a sports magazine that was stashed in the open text book in the hopes that it looked like he was reading the book.
“...And so, once the humans had managed to rise up against the Goa’uld on Earth, they sent them back through the Stargate and buried the gate…” Dr. Langford said as she was walking up and down the desks, snatching the magazine from Teal’c’s textbook as she did, “...It had stayed dormant for thousands of years until it was discovered during the second world war…”
The only ones at this point who seemed to be paying attention were Jonas Quinn and Samantha Carter. The only problem was that he was finding it hard to concentrate with Ba’al throwing wads of paper at him and snickering, only pausing Ms Langford would clear her throat.
“Now, who can tell me who it was that discovered the Stargate?” Ms Langford said.
“A couple of guys looking for a Starbucks?” Jack O'Neil smirked as he raised his hand, causing Sam and the others to start laughing.
“Well, since you all seem to be so enthralled with today’s lecture, I guess I should save you the suspense and announce your final assignment.” Dr. Langford said as the class let out a collective groan, “You will be divided into groups of five where your task is to come up with a presentation about what you have learned about each of your teammates and it will be worth TWO letter grades.”
“So tell me, O’Neil, can you get any lower than an F?” Ba’al sneered.
“Hey Ba’al, question for you?” Jack asked as he turned to look at him, “How do you breathe when your head is shoved so far up your-”
“O’NEIL!” Dr. Langford barked as continued, “To make this assignment a bit more fun, we will be having a potluck based on a dish each of you have made.”
“It should be easy to make Tau’ri food.” Ba’al snorted to Nirti, “Just find the nearest pig farm.”
“Surely they could part with some pig feed.” Nirti giggled back as she nudged Jonas, “Any suggestions?”
“I’m not human.” Jonas growled back at them.
“Yes we know.” Nirti said with a laugh, “That's why we asked for suggestions.”
“Hey, Nerdy.” O’Neil chimed in, “Why don’t you take your staff weapon and shove it up your-”
“ENOUGH!” Dr. Langford said, “Ba’al, Jonas, Jack, to the principal's office. Now!”
“It was not the fault of Jonas or O’Neil.” Tea’c spoke up.
“No one asked you, Sholva.” Ba’al growled as his eyes flashed.
“And yet I spoke.” Teal’c said, leaning over to him, “I believe all you have to do is pick a time and place.”
“Teal’c you too!” Dr. Langford said.
“Teal’c is right though.” Sam said, “It was Ba’al and-”
“Sam, you too.” Dr. Langford said, “I don’t need score keepers.”
With a groan, the five of them got up to go to the principals.
—
“And here we are again.” Principal George Hammond sighed as he leaned back in his chair, gesturing to the five seats in the room, “I’m beginning to lose track now many times this has been.”
“To be fair, sir, one of those times was a bit unfair.” O’Neil said, putting on his most cherubic face, “I mean i was practicing for the high school golf team with Teal’c.”
“Hitting golf balls into the men’s toilets is not practice.” Hammond scolded.
“Not when you stop me in the middle of my backswing.” O’Neil muttered as Hammond cleared his throat.
“This is me not laughing, O’Neil.” Hammond sternly said, “This behavior can’t continue. In the past two months alone I have had you five in my office for numerous counts of insubordination, fighting, and other behaviors that very well could result in expulsion, or at the very least suspension. and I'm getting pretty tired of it.”
“But sir, that’s only because Ba’al and Nirti were always picking on Jonas." Sam tried to reason.
“No one asked you.” Ba’al growled.
“Ba’al, I’m getting pretty fed up with you and your friends acting like you are the only ones in this universe and we are all just here to decorate it for you.” Hammond said, his patience now paper thin, “O’Neil, you speak to others as if sarcasm is your native tongue, and Teal’c, you are a promising athlete and yet-”
“Still a Shol’va.” Ba’al muttered.
“ALRIGHT THAT’S IT!” Hammond finally snapped, “ I have had enough of this constant bickering and arguing between you people. The war ends here.”
Sam started to open her mouth but Hammond stopped her.
“I have been speaking with Dr. Langford about your behavior.” Hammond said, “And I have recommended to her that you, Jonas, Jack, and Teal’c all work together on this project.”
The four of them seemed relieved.
“With Ba’al.” Hammond added as the group began to all groan and moan about their situation.
“Do we have to?” O’Neil asked, but the look on Hammond’s face said they did.
“Dismissed.” Was all Hammond said as the group got up and marched out the door like a pack of whipped dogs…