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Their first meeting was only by chance, sparkling blue eyes met nonchalant dark irises. It was then when he first thought of how much he wanted to bring light upon those eyes. Jean-Jacques was enjoying the summer off ice that time, volunteering for one of the dog shelters in Edmonton, he has been helping at the shelter since he was 14.
“JJ, this is Seung-gil, for the next three weeks, he would be helping you here.” One of the caretakers gently pushed the dark haired beauty in front of the taller Canadian. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone!” He said, and did leave them be. Silence filled the atmosphere, until JJ finally broke it. “Hi! It’s a pleasure to meet you, Seung-gil!” JJ offered his hand in glee, Seung-gil shook hands with him, but only hummed in response. Jean-Jacques however had taken no offence, knowing that it would take a while before the other warms up to him, and he would not push it.
Two days after their brief interaction, JJ arrived later than usual, their house was a little rowdy this morning as his siblings were leaving for the summer camp held in Russia, he was given the task to watch over their house as his parents were to accompany his brother and sister. The moment the door to the shelter slid open, JJ was welcomed with a sight of a beautiful smiling face. Seung-gil was standing across him, eyes on the puppy in his arms. The dark-coated doberman pup had obviously taken a liking to Seung-gil and it was wagging it’s tail with enthusiasm. JJ couldn’t help but snap a photo, obviously forgetting to put it on silent, with the device making a noise as he took an image. Seung-gil went stiff, eyes wide.
JJ coughed shoving his phone in the confinements of his pocket immediately. Seung-gil’s sharp eyes directed at him. “Delete it.” JJ met the latter’s gaze, eyes feigning innocence and arms up in a form of surrender, “Delete what?” Seung-gil sighed in exasperation, not wanting to argue. He looked away but not before giving JJ a warning about posting the said photograph. The Canadian just flashed his pearly-whites at Seung-gil.
Days have passed, and the first week of Seung-gil’s volunteer work reached its conclusion. For some odd reasons he didn’t feel homesick, what’s even more peculiar is that a certain boisterous Canadian made him feel at ease. He had come to Canada to further develop his oral and writing skills in English, his aunt who lived there bought him tickets as a present for his 17th birthday. JJ, despite of their lack of interactions had always exerted the effort to make Seung-gil comfortable, he wouldn’t force Seung-gil to talk; rather, during breaks, JJ would go for a short drive at Tim Horton’s and buy him a drink or a snack, and often times both. The first time he bought Seung-gil something, it was a sweet drink, JJ told him it was a Maple Chill, he probably had taken note of Seung-gil’s delighted expression as he would buy the drink for Seung-gil frequently. They would sit together in quietude, sometimes with the doberman that had taken a liking to both him and Jean-Jacques, and in all honesty Seung-gil appreciates it.
It was the Tuesday of his second week when the usual lunch routine was changed, instead JJ stood there in front of him, looking like he wants to say something but would look away, scratch the back of his neck, stare at him, and cast his eyes down the floor as if it was the most interesting part of the interior. It went on for about five minutes until Seung-gil had finally spoken; “You could just tell me if something’s bothering you.” For once, he finally saw JJ’s bewildered expression. “I…uh...would you, caretohavesomepoutine with me?”Seung-gil thought he was rapping for the majority of that sentence, he only understood the first and last bit, and so he stood there with an impassive face. He heard JJ clear his throat and say it again, “would you like to have poutine for lunch this time?”
JJ took him to an authentic poutine place downtown, truth to be told, Seung-gil didn’t know what it was. Ever since he arrived in the country, all he had were an array of asian cuisine which of course he has no qualms with and so, when their orders were finally laid on the table, Seung-gil was quite eager to try it, in all honesty. He looked up to see JJ’s signature grin, Seung-gil didn’t know why, really. “Shall we?” The latter offered him the fork and they started digging in. Every bite was gratifying. The instant they were inside JJ’s car, Seung-gil looked at the latter and with a softer expression said thank you. “I enjoyed it.” The drive back to the shelter was spent with satisfied stomachs, soft tunes and maybe, closer hearts.
On Saturday, they had a sudden wave of people coming to adopt dogs, providing a good home for the once neglected pets. JJ entertained a number of them as some spoke in French, Seung-gil wouldn’t admit it, but the aforementioned Canadian sounded fairly attractive.
The last family that they have to entertain that day had taken a liking to the doberman pup, however the puppy began shivering, moving further back in the cage. The little boy who showed interest to it prior pouted, and shifted his gaze to the next cage where a golden retriever was in. Later that afternoon, the shelter veterinarian told JJ and Seung-gil that the puppy would have a slim chance in finding a new home as it had grown fond of them both. It broke Seung-gil’s heart of course, and JJ did not fail in noticing it.
They were in the middle of closing the shelter when Seung-gil started muttering, “I shouldn’t have spent so much time with him, now he couldn’t find someone to take him to a good place.” JJ felt his heart was being ripped apart when he saw the pained face Seung-gil was making. He wasn’t one to rely on impulse, but the second he arrived home, he gave his parents a call and told them it was high time he gets a pet of his own.
A week before Seung-gil’s scheduled return to his home country, JJ invited him to a barbecue with his family. They went for a two-day drive to reach Quebec, as Seung-gil's aunt lived in Edmonton. He told Seung-gil that it was a small celebration for finally giving home to the pup, which they eventually agreed to name Jjanggu. Jean-Jacques joked that Jjanggu was like their son and Seung-gil’s cheeks had strangely grew warmer. JJ chuckled and wrapped an arm around Seung-gil’s shoulders as they sat by the gardens of the Leroy’s humble abode. Shortly after, JJ’s mom called out to them, telling JJ to start setting up the grill otherwise Seung-gil would never come visit them again. Seung-gil thought that JJ’s family in general was very welcoming, JJ’s mom told him almost everything; from JJ’s childhood misadventures that made Seung-gil chuckle, to his passion in ice skating that made the Korean admire JJ even more. By the end of the day, Seung-gil realized something that he should not have, and that was his feelings for a certain Canadian.
Never had Seung-gil thought that goodbyes could be this difficult, sure he will miss his aunt, but in actuality it was the time spent with Jean-Jacques that he would miss the most. JJ took the time off practice to see him off, bringing his siblings Jasper and Marie, the two got closer with Seung-gil as well over the short period of time, and Jjanggu came along with them too. JJ’s parents sent him their regards a day in advance as they were getting busier that time of the year. The ride to the airport was jovial and light, but Seung-gil felt like something was amiss. He wanted to tell JJ before he left for good, but a part of him feared that JJ was just being considerate and friendly. But Seung-gil doesn’t want a life with regrets and the second they reached the lobby of the airport, he placed a kiss on JJ’s cheek. A blush crept up to his face. JJ was stunned, mouth agape as he get first-hand experience of Seung-gil breaking character. “T-Thank you, Jean.” Seung-gil said softly, it was almost a whisper but JJ heard it nonetheless and pulled the Korean in an embrace. “I’ll miss you, Seung-gil. And when the time comes that we get to see each other again, I’ll take you to a date on the ice.” JJ’s voice was quivering, yet he placed a kiss on Seung-gil’s forehead before letting go. Jjanggu who was stuck in between them barked, JJ picked the puppy up and gestured the doberman’s paw in a wave, “say goodbye to mommy, Jjanggu.” As if the dog understood, he looked at Seung-gil and whined. Seung-gil who heard JJ vividly, resisted the strong desire to smack the living daylights out of him. He stretched his hand and gently stroked the puppy’s ear.
When Seung-gil caught the announcement for his flight, he waved goodbye to JJ’s siblings, grinning at the corner, waving back at him, the two undoubtedly saw everything. He offered JJ a gentle smile and finally picked up his suitcase before turning his back at them and proceeded to the departure area.
For the majority of the first year that they have been apart, they remained in contact. JJ never fails to send him pictures, sometimes it would be an image of Jjanggu, who was growing bigger as the seasons go by. The dog now sporting a personalized collar around his neck, it was a blue and red leather with the initials JS forged in gold. It was cheesy, yes; but Seung-gil would be lying if he said he didn’t find it endearing. Most often than necessary however, JJ would send him photographs of himself, one time, while on a break from practice, Seung-gil saw his phone vibrating from the bench, he reached for the device as he took a swig out of his water bottle. He regretted multitasking instantaneously as he choked on his water seeing the image of a half-naked JJ standing on what seems to be a stage, a hand wrapped around a microphone stand. Seung-gil ignored him for 12 hours after that.
When the skating season began, Jean-Jacques had sent a photo of him, opposite to Jjanggu, holding a banner with his name written poorly in hangul. It gave Seung-gil a boost as he won silver that night, second to the boy who had a very distinct hairstyle, darker in shade but reminded him of JJ nevertheless. Otabek Altin became his friend after that competition.
As they reached the second year of their vague relationship, the communication between them was getting awry. Messages would arrive later than usual, and late night phone calls have ceased to exist. On Jean-Jacques’ 18th birthday, he had sent a message the second he knew the clock would turn twelve at Canada. Seung-gil fell asleep clutching his phone in hopes of a reply, but the morning after, he received none. He didn’t know what’s wrong but he’s pretty sure it wasn’t a problem with his network provider.
It wasn’t until December when he had heard anything involving JJ, this time it wasn’t any personal updates; no photographs taken, no ‘Jjanggu misses his mom’ jokes, instead it was from the people in the news, announcing the winners of this year’s Grand Prix Final, and the Canadian skater stood there, holding the bronze medal with pride, a bright smile plastered on his face. Seung-gil turned the tv off, closing his eyes, he decided it was time to let go.
He focused on his skating, honing his skills and performing at the best of his abilities. His hard work didn’t fail him as he was now only a step away from the Grand Prix Final, overcoming the Rostelecom Cup would be quite a feat, this would be his hardest obstacle yet as he would be competing against someone he wished he never had to encounter once more, Jean-Jacques Leroy.
Seung-gil’s head was throbbing, the elevator ride on his way to his hotel room had been a disaster, he wished that his coach had been there to keep other people at bay, but she scampered off to somewhere the second they stepped inside the hotel. Exhausted, Seung-gil was contemplating if he should take a long hot bath or head to bed immediately, he decided to do the latter. He has almost reached the door to his room when he took notice of a very familiar figure standing across his assigned room. JJ was dressed casually, probably about to head out for the night, but that wasn’t his business anymore.
By some twist of fate, JJ must have heard the sound that the wheels of his suitcase were making against the carpeted floors as their gazes met, a flash of recognition shone in JJ’s eyes, Seung-gil knows what that look means, three years of being apart but the Korean skater never forgets. JJ wants to say something, but something was holding him back. Their gazes lingered until Seung-gil’s coach arrived. She swiped the card frantically and directed Seung-gil inside in haste, she was behaving rather strange, Seung-gil thought but at least, it saved him from having his hopes up once again.
Losing left a bitter aftertaste in Seung-gil’s mouth. It was a concoction of dejection and disappointment. He wished he could have done more; executed the step sequence properly, landed his quads cleanly. If only. He looked around the entire stadium, eyes searching for no one in particular, yet he let out an uncharacteristic gasp when he noticed the set of blue eyes that stared back at him, an unreadable expression was plastered on the man’s face; Jean-Jacques Leroy had emerged victorious, becoming the top contender for the finals. The Canadian skater however seemed to be less zealous about the whole ordeal. Seung-gil was waiting for JJ to avert his gaze but that did not happen, and though Seung-gil hates losing - while their eye contact was never a competition to begin with - he finally shifted his gaze, leaving the stadium, with tears running down his face.
With a heavy heart, Seung-gil headed for the exit of the venue, his coach had left him, upset. It had always been a struggle for Seung-gil to please his coach, she only gives him praise when he placed but never offers comfort the moment he loses. It was getting worse as of late as she would tell him the things he needs to do, what to eat, how to interact with others, but of course Seung-gil being the kindhearted person that he really is thinks that his coach is doing it for his good. Halfway through the exit, he felt his phone vibrating; pale, trembling fingers fished out the device out of his jacket pocket, sliding the green button on screen and pressing it closer to his ear.
“Hyung, you were amazing.” Seung-gil tried to hold himself from breaking down. “I...lost” were the only words that escaped from his lips and it brought pain to his chest as he recalled the mishaps of his performance earlier. “Please don’t cry hyung. I hate hearing you cry!” Seung-gil chuckled, though forcefully. “You sound like you have heard me cry a lot, Otabek.”
“I haven’t, and I want to keep it that way, hyung.” Seung-gil felt his heart lighten a bit. Otabek was like the younger brother he never had. They bonded over the silliest of things and Seung-gil treasured their friendship. “Is my dongsaeng learning the ways of a gentleman? Towards a certain Russian perhaps?” Seung-gil asked, now teasing. Otabek grunted in response. “Did I guess cor-...” His reply was cut off when he felt the sudden tightness around his shoulders, and saw Yuri Katsuki giving him a hug. Seung-gil’s eyes widened, his mind went blank as he looked at the Japanese finalist’s retreating figure, from the corner of his eye, he saw Jean-Jacques standing beside him. He decided that it was best for him to continue on his way, hopefully without being noticed.
The morning after, his bags were packed and ready to go, He looked at his watch and noticed that his coach has been gone for almost an hour. Their flight is not scheduled to leave for the next three hours but it was better to leave early as to avoid the traffic. Feeling a bit impatient, he headed out of his room, only to lay eyes upon the the mess of crushed flowers on the floor. He heard the angry voice of his coach filling the entirety of the lobby. “I remembered telling you about this before and I’ll remind you again in case you have forgotten. Seung-gil is not gay! Stay away from him, you’ll only destroy his career.”
Seung-gil moved closer to the direction of the commotion. And when he came to light, he saw JJ looming over his coach, eyes void of any emotions. Seung-gil have not seen him behave that way.
“Look lady, I believed you once but now I think it’s better if I hear it coming from Seung-gil himself.” It only took Seung-gil a minute to fully comprehend the situation, the reason why Jean-Jacques avoided him, left him hanging for no reason, it was all his coach’s doing. Purposely stepping on the paper wrapping of the torn out bouquet, Seung-gil made both JJ and his coach aware of his presence. “S-Seung-gil! Is it time for us to leave?”
“Coach, I thought I could trust you…” Seung-gil said, voice breaking. “Everything I do is for your sake and your career! Without my help, you are nothing, you’ll just keep on making these mistakes!” She lashed out at Seung-gil, her true feelings finally coming to surface. The Korean skater widened his eyes as he saw JJ moving quickly, a hand raised, ready to slap some sense to his coach but Seung-gil stood in between them, eyes telling JJ not to.
JJ clicked his tongue and looked away, arms crossed. Seung-gil faced his coach, eyes determined. “I am grateful for your help coach, and I could never bring myself to hate you. But what I feel is not for you to decide nor anybody else.” His coach’s face twisted in disgust, “Fine! Be that way! Let’s see how far you can go with...that!” She then walked away in fury, heels stomping hard on the petal covered carpet.
For a while, Seung-gil stood there, with nothing but stillness, until he felt the side of his neck and his shoulder blades being tickled. JJ had placed his head on Seung-gil’s shoulder, arms wrapping around the Korean skater’s waist.
“I’m sorry, I should have told you...before. But I was scared.” He heard the Canadian chuckle sarcastically. “Funny huh? Seung-gil, I may be confident on ice, but I could never bring myself to be the same around you. I do not want to hinder you from reaching your dreams, but you keep me grounded, you make me appreciate every second that I have, and I am afraid of losing you.” JJ’s voice was mellow, was sincere.
Biting his lower lip, Seung-gil turned to face Jean-Jacques, cradling the latter’s face between his hands. Their foreheads bumped against one another, their gazes met and their noses brushed, Seung-gil placed a feathery kiss on JJ’s awaiting lips; “You don’t have to be, idiot.” It only took a grin, a lingering kiss and a warm embrace to return their hearts to the place where they truly belong, and that is back in each other's’ arms.