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HEADS!

Summary:

Skeeter and her father, James Malark are forced to go to the football games after school by Ms Malark. She hoped it would make her daughter straight but it backfires and turns her husband gay instead. James falls in love with Coach Andrews

Notes:

This is the BEST rarepair, top tier. This is the most uncanon thing you'll ever read. Mischaracterization overload.

Work Text:

It was a breezy day. The sun peeped through the gaps in the clouds. The soft rustling of leaves and screams of the players when they got a goal. It was a chilly spring day for the football players, but running around and tackling one another kept them warm.

Coach Andrews cheered on his team, giving them feedback. "Michael, you need to toss the ball more! Derrick, watch around you! Scot, stop being a jerk when you lose!" The teams were competitive during this season, wanting to make sure they won against the other schools.

Skeeter watched. sat on the end of the empty bleachers with her father, James Malark. Only some others were there, but it was mainly just mums who came to watch their sons. Skeeter fiddled with her camera, taking sloppy photos of the game she couldn't care less about. James was also unamused, playing with his car keys, half focused on the game. Thinking why his wife thought this was a smart idea.

Skeeter's mum sent them to this game. She thought a ton of sweaty high-school jocks running around and slamming into one another would make Skeeter "straight." it was the most idiotic ideas Ms Malark had ever come up with. You could tell she's getting desperate for a change in Skeeter's attraction.

Meanwhile, Skeeter sat there rolling her eyes, watching the most boring event she had ever come to. This was supposed to be attractive? It's just a ton of stinky guys sweating and swearing their asses off, but she reluctantly took photos to prove she actually went this time. Last time, James just took her to an ice cream shop and called it a day. He really couldn't be bothered to come to the school to watch some mediocre kids play football.

James caught a look of skeeter and her irked expression. He chuckled to himself, wondering why on earth his wife thought this would work. He picked up some of Skeeter's photos, shuffling them around in his hands. "This must be pretty boring for you, huh?" James commented, looking at the photographes in his hand. Most of them had missed the players and were shots of the grass or the medal fences. "Yeah, this sucks." Muttered Skeeter resting her head on her hands, jabbing her elbows into the top of her knees.

Skeeter's dad ran his hand through her hair, trying to somewhat comfort her. "It'll be over soon. Just try to actually get shots of the guys playing and not waste your film," Skeeter nodded, holding her camera back up. "HEADS!!!" One of the jocks yelled before the hard football slammed into James's face, almost knocking him off the bleachers. Skeeter tossed her camera to the side to check up on him. "Dad, are you okay?" Skeeter asked, holding back laughter. James rubbed his head, softly chuckling to himself.

"Yeah, yeah, it's just a ball–" James was cut off by who it appeared to be one of the coaches. "I'm so sorry! Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the nurse?" He nelt down in front of James, putting his hand on his jaw examinating the area he was hit. James's heart fluttered, his palms getting sweaty before pushing Coach Andrews away. "I'm okay, I don't need the nurse. It's just a little bruise–" James reassured Coach Andrews, but he insisted on bringing him to the nurse to check for a "concussion. "

"I'm telling you, I'm fine! I don't have a concussion." Said James, sitting on a chair in the infirmary, getting examined by the school nurse. "It's protocol, Mr uhh.."

"Malark, but just call me James. And your protocol is stupid," James answered, shuffling around in his seat. "Hey, I dont want you to go home with football scars, ok?" Coach Andrews replied, looking away sheepishly, fiddling with his whistle before quickly trying to fix up his demeanor. "The protocol is there, so kids dont get sent home with partially cracked open skulls." Continued Coach Andrews, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, kids, this doesn't apply to me." James crossed his arms, looking up at Coach Andrews. Markus couldn't hold eye contact for long, breaking it every few seconds. The more Mr Malark stared, the more flustered they both got. while the nurse sat there awkwardly, watching this weird moment of a staring contest before trying to preoccupy herself by looking at rubbing alcohols on her desk.

After a belif moment of silence, James let out a sigh. "Thanks, though you are worrying too much." Muttered James, the nurse nodded, agreeing with Mr Malark. "It's just a small bruise Markus it's nothing to worry about."

"See?"

"I know."

James laughed alongside the nurse. Markus sighed before walking towards the door. "Wait!" James called out before thinking much about it. Markus looked back at James. "See you tomorrow.." stammered Mr Malark, giving a bashful smile. Coach Andrews smiled back, waving goodbye before shutting the door. James face palmed, why on earth was that so.. awkward.. "Ew. Homos." Muttered the nurse.

***

Skeeter and her father would go to the football games after school almost every day. Skeeter was sick of it, but Ms Malark thought she was finally getting through to Mr Malark. James has always been opposed to forcing Skeeter to go to churches and dates to change who she liked. He believes it's pointless, a waste of time and money. He doesn't believe Skeeter needs fixing, just a little guidance. And as her father, he will give her the guidance regardless of her sexuality or religion because at the end of the day,

Skeeter's his daughter. One who needs care just like any other child.

"Daddd, I had a long day at school. I don't wanna go back!!" Skeeter whined, splating down on the couch with one of her shoes on. "Skeeter, you're going your father–" Ms Malark was cut off from her lecture by James. "Come on skeety, let's just get ready," Skeeter quickly put on her other shoe, anything to not hear whatever crazy nonsense her mum had to spew. "Wait! I wasn't done! Come back–" the door already shut. Ms Malark scoffed, sitting back in her seat. "Ugh, I'm never going to get through with them.."

James and Skeeter walked back to the school for what it felt like the 50th time these past three weeks. James smiled at the thought of running into Coach Andrews again. Saying goodbye to him at the end of the game or staring at him from the bleachers or something.. more. The smiling became giggling, and his whole mood lightened. "Dad. Stop." Pleaded Skeeter, second hand embarrassment slapping her hard in the face. James laughed, calming himself down. It's just football, nothing more, but nothing less.

James stopped and started to question himself, why on earth was he thinking these kinds of things.. but he doesn't want to miss a chance at interacting with Coach Andrews. 'Fuck why is it always Coach Andrews.. why can't I get that bastard out my head.' James pondered before Skeeter broke his train of thought. "Why are you so.. I don't know, fixated on this? Is it because of Coach Andrews?"

James flushed a little, trying to spit out an excuse. He's not like that. It's not like that. Coach Andrews isn't.. like that, but James wished— "No, it's not, what makes you think that?" James replied, slowing his pace to match Skeeter's. "Well, for a start, you're always staring at him. You always want to go to the games even though you don't even like football and–"

"Skeeter, I'm just trying to make friends. That's all it is." Mumbled James, putting one arm over Skeeter's shoulder. Skeeter's thought otherwise but agreed for her father sake.

When they arrived, Coach Andrews sat on the bleachers. He invited them to sit next to him. Markus started small talk, talking about weather and his children. Skeeter looked around she did not want to endure anymore of this weirdsmall talk. Luckily for Skeeter, Ricky was walking around outside, probably taking a smoke break. But he was walking around with Benjamin. Skeeter sighed, accepting her fate as a third wheel. She would rather be third wheeling Ben and Ricky than her own father.

"Dad, can I go over there with my friends?" Skeeter asked, putting her elbow on his shoulder. James laughed "sure kiddo" Skeeter wondered off, leaving Coach Andrews and James alone together. "She really does look like you," Markus pointed out, fixing up his hat.

"My dad is acting so weird.. he's never this aloof it's unusual. He's usually quiet and–"

"Stern?" Ricky chimed half laughing, Ben elbowed him in the side. "Ow!"

"Well, he's just calm and composed, but recently, he's been all happy? It's not a bad thing it's just that he's not usually like that," Skeeter continued, looking back at her father. Ben and Ricky did the same. "Maybe he's gay–"

"Ricky, you're fucking stupid"

"No, I thought that to!"

"See brookie? I'm Einstein!" Ricky looked back at Ben. Ben rolled his eyes.

"It's just he literally just met that guy,"
Said Skeeter, rubbing the back of her head. "Wait, that blonde coach guy? That's Brady's dad."

"Ok my dad is fucked."

James and Markus sat there watching the game, it was more of a warm up match but it was entertaining nonetheless. well, it was with Markus. Coach Andrews inched his hand closer to James's, softly brushing past James's hand. Markus face turned red, turning his head away from James, smiling like an idiot. Mr Malark's face softly reddened, pushing his hand closer to Coach Andrews's. Interlocking fingers.

"Yeah, your dad's a homo Skeeter." Concluded Ricky, they all shared a laugh.