Work Text:
Megumi sighs and rubs his eyes as he leans back into his chair. He drops a study guide onto the table with a pitiful plap and doesn’t bother to stop his pencil from rolling to the other side of his work setup. It’s been a long day in the library — longer than he meant to be here — but his thesis isn’t going to research itself, and his advisor is expecting a first draft of it next week.
So far, it’s about seventy pages long, references a plethora of papers and journals written over the span of sixty years, and is the bane of his existence at the moment.
And the worst part is that today is special, and he’s having to spend it here.
Technically, the semester hasn’t even started yet, but when it comes to academic theses and writing, summer break isn’t really that much of a break. It’s nice to not have classes or homework or any other papers due, but Megumi still has research and field work and a contract with the school to study and publish under its name, so there’s a lot of time that has to go into that.
And maybe it’s his fault — his weak heart and simple, sentimental mind. In the past, he never would have called himself sappy or romantic, but his edges are starting to smooth themselves over, credited to the one person he would do anything to see right now.
It’s his fault for Megumi’s tenderness, the way he clings to dates like slipping memories. Anniversaries and romantic holidays and the emotional weight of even hearing a person’s name are all things that are still relatively new to Megumi. Just over a year ago, his past self would have thrown some cynical, jaded remark at anything remotely similar to those things.
Then again, just over a year ago, he was at a much lonelier point in his life.
And it’s his fault. His fault for making this day important, his fault for being so easy to miss, and his fault for changing Megumi at all — for better or for worse.
Although, if he’s being truthful, it was all for the better.
Anything having to do with him is better in Megumi’s mind. That’s just how it is. That’s how soft he’s gotten. How happy they make each other.
So, yes, it does suck that he’s stuck in this library, drowning in research papers and scientific journals and a laptop that can barely hold a charge. It sucks that this date is important to him now, that it exists in the back of his mind like a fly on the wall that won’t go away, distracting and constantly demanding attention. And it really sucks that he’s not even remotely close to being done here.
Megumi is coming up on hour six in this godforsaken library, and he has at least another four left to go. That’s when he’ll finally feel like he’s at a decent stopping point with this paper, and then he can focus on editing it and cleaning it up the rest of the week before it’s due.
But it doesn’t change the fact that today marks one year since he and Yuuji got back together, and no matter how much he tries to throw himself into his work, he still can’t help but feel a little bit sad and a little bit lonelier than what he’s gotten used to.
Tsumiki tells him that it’s good to feel this way. After a year of relearning each other’s habits, of slowly integrating themselves back into their lives, Megumi finds that he’s just as happy as he was last summer. It’s been a year of late-night dinners and cooking past eleven, a year of going out with friends and going on dates, and a whole year of loving and being loved, unconditionally, without end.
It’s different from how it used to be.
But it’s good.
Megumi finds the insecurities he used to hold so close to himself are now, for the most part, gone. It’s taken a lot of conversations with Tsumiki, with Yuuji, and with himself to understand them all, but knowing them makes correcting them easier.
That old, scary forest that used to tower over him isn’t the same anymore. It’s not so dark, not so twisted, and not so frightening. It was simply life. There was never any need to run from it or change it. It was Megumi’s mind, the way he viewed it, that mattered. His perception has shifted from how it used to be, and he’s so much better for it.
But it wasn’t just him that changed.
The first time around, Megumi made his own mistakes, yes. He’ll spend the rest of life regretting them, wondering why he couldn’t have been more patient or mature when handling things the first time around. There are a lot of things that he wishes he could have done differently, but he’s not the only one who holds regret.
Yuuji has grown so much, too. He’s really become someone so vastly different from the person Megumi knew back when they first met. It’s funny, though, because he’s still so Yuuji that it’s hard to distinguish what’s changed.
The clearest thing, however, is the way he carries himself through life.
Despite his positive demeanor and the persistent insistence that he was fine, the Yuuji from back then was riddled with anxiety and fear. The prospect of losing his grandfather, of losing anyone was terrifying, and those feelings grew until they manifested in the form of a man who could never and would never put himself first.
He was a lonely person who didn’t know how to be alone.
It’s just so Yuuji of him — to give and give and give, unaware of what he’s losing, because he was never selfish enough to think he had anything to begin with.
Megumi understands that now, but the Megumi back then never did.
He couldn’t have. He simply didn’t have the ability to. Instead, he was rash and inconsiderate. Selfish and unmoving. He jumped to conclusions and decided that punishment was better than conversation, and when things got too hard, he gave up.
Megumi hates the way he had so coldly said, “Itadori.” How casually he dropped his given name from his vocabulary. He hates the incessant stubbornness of his past self and how he was almost relieved when Yuuji’s phone range, because he wanted Yuuji to pick up that call. Picking it up gave him the easiest out for their argument.
And no matter what Yuuji or Tsumiki try to say, there will always be a small part of him that resents the Megumi that let Yuuji walk out that door.
Because the truth is that he was terrified. Megumi was scared that he could never be important enough to be loved or cared for, so for him, that call was the definitive end. It was proof that he was never going to be someone special to Yuuji — not in a way that truly meant something. If they couldn’t even have a talk (or a fight) without his phone ringing, then how much of him would Megumi actually have?
When Yuuji’s phone started to ring, all it did was confirm his deepest and darkest fear: that he will never be enough.
But things are different now. Megumi isn’t the same person he was five years ago. He’s not the same person he was last year. Those anxieties don’t haunt him like they used to, and he and Yuuji approach their relationship in a much healthier way. For once, it finally feels like he has a handle on this nearly impossible game called life, and for once, he’s okay with its unpredictabilty and ever-changing paths.
It led him here, after all.
Sighing, Megumi stretches again and straightens the study guide on his desk. Reminiscing is nice and all, but he really should be working. The sooner he wraps this up, the sooner he can be home, and the sooner he can talk to Yuuji again.
The thud of a box dropping onto the table snaps him out of his thoughts.
Megumi jumps, irritated because he’s exhausted and his brain is mush and because someone has so carelessly decided to drop their shit on top of his stuff.
Scowling at his laptop, trying his best to remain decent enough so as not to get kicked out of the library, he sneers, “Can you not tell someone is working here?”
“Really? Looks more like daydreaming to me.”
Megumi’s head snaps up at the voice, coming face to face with a pair of familiar brown eyes and a stupid, annoying, handsome smirk.
Yuuji smiles down at him like he planned on pissing him off just to get a reaction out of him, and now that they’re looking at one another, it’s clear he’s reaping the benefits of it all, because the more Megumi frowns, the wider he smiles.
“Yuuji, what…?”
Megumi doesn’t even have words to say to him. He’s still pissed about the box being dropped onto the table, but he’s also not because it’s Yuuji, but he’s also pissed because it’s Yuuji, and—
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asks, looking around the library.
It’s empty, of course, since the semester hasn’t started yet, so other than the occasional fellow graduate student and a librarian coming through every now and then to make sure everything is in order, it’s just the two of them. Eyes going back to the table, it registers in his mind that Yuuji dropped a takeout box in front of him.
“Hey, happy anniversary to you, too,” Yuuji quips, revealing his own takeout box from behind his back. Without asking, he pulls up a chair across from Megumi and starts fishing out chopsticks from his bag.
“We already said happy anniversary to each other,” Megumi says, giving him a deadpan look, but he doesn’t hesitate in taking the utensils and breaking into his meal.
“Okay, but I’m saying it again, so I win.”
At that, Megumi huffs out a small laugh and shakes his head.
“Okay, but seriously. What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean, ‘what am I doing here’? I’m visiting my boyfriend while he’s slaving away in front of a computer and a ton of papers that I don’t even know where to begin in understanding,” Yuuji replies candidly, as if it’s obvious that he would be here.
Except, it’s not.
Megumi planned on going to Yuuji’s tomorrow afternoon for their anniversary, once he was in a more secure stopping place with his thesis. Any time before then was meant to be dedicated to his work and helping Tsumiki with chores before leaving for the weekend.
Yuuji being here is a complete surprise.
“I mean, we planned to spend Saturday and Sunday together because I was too busy with all of this—” Megumi gestures vaguely to the mess in front of him. “—So, I just didn’t expect you to be here now.”
“Are you complaining?”
“Well, no, but—”
“Did you want to see me?”
“Yes, of course, but—”
“Then what’s the problem?” Yuuji asks, smiling so wide that he brightens up the entire library floor.
Megumi scoffs and rolls his eyes, standing up so that he can lean over the table.
Reaching out with one hand, he pulls his boyfriend in and locks their lips together, kissing him with every bottled up feeling he’s been holding in since the start of today. Yuuji makes a startled sound in reply, but it quickly dissolves into a soft sigh as he kisses Megumi back, cupping his face and matching the rhythm set without hesitation.
Kissing Yuuji is something that Megumi can never get used to. It’s like lighting off fireworks in his stomach and letting them explode in his heart every single time. It’s like electricity coursing through his veins with every pathetic pulse. No matter how long it’s been or how long they’ve been together, Megumi’s addicted, and he can’t get enough.
The more they press into each other, the less he cares about being caught. He would, quite literally, rather be anywhere in the world than this damn library, but now that Yuuji is here, he thinks that it’s not so bad. Although, with a quick nibble of his bottom lip and the way that his boyfriend’s fingers start to tangle themselves in his hair, Megumi thinks he’d rather be back home or, better yet, in Yuuji’s apartment.
It feels like a betrayal to pull away, but the last thing he wants is for some poor worker getting paid minimum wage to make sure no one fucks in the library to walk in and see them kissing over a table and two unopened to-go boxes.
Yuuji’s eyes are half-lidded and hazy when Megumi looks back at him. He’s tempted to pull him back into another kiss, but he really won’t get anything done if that happens, and he has to get through the rest of his planned work tonight, otherwise he’ll lose it.
“So, you’re not mad I showed up?” Yuuji asks, biting back a smile.
Megumi raises an eyebrow at him. “Why in the world would I be mad?”
“You looked mad when I got here.”
“That’s because you dropped a box of food in front of me without warning.”
“Yeah…” he chuckles. “I knew it would make you mad.”
Megumi rolls his eyes and turns back to his food.
Immediately, he notices that this isn’t takeout. It’s homemade. Yuuji’s cooking, to be specific, complete with meatballs, rice, vegetables, and even a small bowl of broth.
“But I also knew that as soon as you realized it was me, it would make you very happy,” Yuuji says with a smug smile.
“I almost cussed you out and told you to leave,” Megumi points out.
Yuuji shrugs. “Hey, that’s not too different from the first time we met.”
Letting out a small scoff, all Megumi can do is shake his head.
Recalling that day is nostalgic.
It was a different floor, but they both met in this library. Megumi was in the middle of studying, and Yuuji was (shocker) being loud. He had come here for a project in one of his classes and was looking for books to check out when Megumi walked up to him and told him to be quiet. Thinking back now, it’s funny to think that a single, small interaction like that could have ever snowballed into something like this.
Romantic, in its own way.
“Okay, but really, why are you here?” Megumi asks. “You didn’t have to do all of this.”
“Sure, I did!” Yuuji smiles. “It’s our anniversary, and I wanted to surprise you. It worked, didn’t it?”
“I—yeah, it did, but… I feel bad. You didn’t have to come all the way out here just to see me. I’m not even remotely close to being done. It’ll be at least another four hours.”
“Megumi, love, that’s fine,” Yuuji promises, reaching over the table and placing a hand on his arm. “I didn’t plan on being here long. I just wanted to have dinner with you, and I figured you’ve probably barely eaten since coming here.”
Well, he has a point.
Other than the breakfast Tsumiki made and the occasional vending machine snack, Megumi hasn’t really had a proper meal since he started working on his thesis.
Immediately, a warm feeling settles in his chest and stomach, spreading slowly like a small campfire in the night. After all of this work, spending his entire day cooped up and sitting in front of a computer screen, here comes Itadori Yuuji, ready to show just how much he loves Megumi in the sappiest way he can think of.
Megumi would have been perfectly happy with cheap noodles from a street vendor on the way from Yuuji’s apartment to the university campus, but no. Instead, he has a boyfriend who would rather cook an entire, extravagant anniversary meal just to pack it up and eat it on the fifth floor of a library.
“Thank you, Yuuji,” he says softly. “You really didn’t have to do this.”
“I wanted to,” Yuuji assures him. “Happy one year to us.”
Chuckling, Megumi nods. “Happy one year.”
They eat together in comfortable silence. There isn’t much that’s changed since their last conversation, considering Megumi’s spent his entire day in one place, and other than filling him on Tsumiki’s latest classroom anecdote, they’re happy to just be together.
Yuuji’s cooking is, as always, amazing and something to rave about. Megumi has a theory that his boyfriend likes to go all out just for him, but even when he’s just “throwing shit together,” as he likes to call it, it’s still amazing.
Still, the homemade meatballs, the surprise appearance at the library, and it being their one-year anniversary tells Megumi that this is more than just whipping up a meal. Yuuji put in real time and effort to make this special, even if it’s only for twenty minutes, and Megumi loves him for that.
Fuck, he loves him so much.
“That was amazing, Yuuji,” he says, placing his box down, out of the way from his work. He hates that he finished eating so quickly. If he could, he’d suspend this moment in time just to be by his side a bit longer. “I hate that I have to get back to work.”
“That’s okay, love,” Yuuji promises with a smile. “I know you’re busy. I didn’t plan on staying here. I would just distract you.”
He says that last line with a bit of teasing lilt, but it’s true.
Megumi smiles softly and lays his hand across the table, feeling sparks dance across his skin when Yuuji takes it in his own. For a moment, they just stare at one another, happy to have this quiet bubble of just the two of them. In this safe little space, the thesis doesn’t exist, and the two of them can spend the entire evening tangled in each other’s arms.
“I’ll be over tomorrow when Tsumiki and I finish our chores,” Megumi murmurs, tracing circles on the back of Yuuji’s hand with his thumb. “I can call you.”
“Sounds good to me,” Yuuji replies. “I’ll be spending part of the day with Kugisaki and Junpei, but just let me know when you’ll be coming over. I’ll meet you there.”
Megumi presses his lips together. “You don’t have to cut your time short with our friends. Just tell me when you’re back from seeing them.”
“No, I’d rather spend time with you,” Yuuji says, shaking his head. “You’ve been working so much on your thesis lately that I want our anniversary weekend to be for us. They’re both aware anyway.”
Rolling his eyes a little, Megumi smiles and shakes his head. “Okay, why?”
“What do you mean, ‘why’?”
“It’s not like you to make plans with Kugisaki or Junpei and then leave them to come hang out with me, and I don’t want you to think that you have to do that in order for us to spend time together.”
“Okay, well what if it’s special?”
“What’s special about it?”
“Other than our anniversary?”
Megumi gives him a deadpan look and doesn’t say anything more.
“Okay, fine,” Yuuji says, relenting. He smiles, but there’s a tinge of pink blooming across his cheeks. If Megumi didn’t know any better, he would say that he almost looks nervous. “This weekend is special because… I want it to be something more.”
Furrowing his brows, Megumi asks, “What do you mean by that?”
“Like…” Yuuji swallows, and now it’s not even deniable. He definitely looks nervous. “What if I asked you to move in with me?”
Megumi has to hear the question twice in his head before he’s able to fully process it.
Yuuji wants him to move in? To his apartment? Now? This year?
Blinking, he isn’t sure what to say. There’s a mix of emotions that swirl within him, ranging from excitement and elation to shock and disbelief. He supposes that it’s not too farfetched. He practically lives at Yuuji’s apartment half the time anyway, though he does try not to overstay, considering he’s not on the lease and he doesn’t want to leave Tsumiki to take care of things by herself.
Still, asking him to move in is… a big ask. A huge one. It’s not something that he’s never considered before, and they’ve discussed the logistics of living together in passing, but this is real. This is Yuuji asking Megumi if he wants to move in.
“Only if you want to, though, of course,” Yuuji quickly adds, chuckling a little for good measure. “I don’t want to pressure you. We can always just spend the weekend together and talk about moving in for a later date.”
“I want to,” Megumi says. He nods for good measure. “Yes, I’ll move in with you.”
“Like… actually?”
At that, he chuckles. “Yes. ‘Like actually.’”
Yuuji smiles, unable to contain his excitement. His eye light up and his face glows. It’s contagious as it warms Megumi from the inside out, causing him to smile, too. All he wants is to pull him in for another kiss, to hold him, to fall asleep in his arms, and he hates that he has to be stuck here for a night before that can happen.
“So, when would this happen?” Megumi asks. “Right away?”
“No, no, not right away,” Yuuji replies, though he can’t stop smiling. “This weekend will be for us, celebrating our anniversary, celebrating this next stage, and finally getting to see my boyfriend while he’s working on his thesis.”
“It’s almost over. The due date for it is next week,” Megumi reminds him.
“I know, I know, I’m just whining because I miss you,” Yuuji quips.
“Okay, so, when would I be able to move in?”
“I’m renewing my lease at the end of the month, and I’ll be able to add you to it after that.” He takes a moment to think and then adds, “I know that you’ll have started school by then, so we can plan to move things slowly. For all the big stuff, we can get some friends together to help.”
“And I’ll be slowly moving into your apartment over the next few weeks?” Megumi asks, a slow smile spreading across his face.
“As long as it takes,” Yuuji confirms with a nod. “And then it’ll be our apartment.”
Our apartment.
Megumi almost wants to say it out loud, as if that’ll make it any more real.
To think that this is where they’re at now — he almost can’t believe it. After all that they’ve been through, it’s been one year of nothing but a happy, healthy relationship, and now, they’re taking it even further. Moving in means this is serious. It’s long term.
Megumi has no qualms about long term — he’d have Yuuji for forever, if he could — but the fact that this is his ask, he wants them to live together, he’s ready to take that next step…
“I love you,” he says, squeezing Yuuji’s hand. “I love you so much, Yuuji.”
The smile he gets in return is worth every star in the sky.
“I love you, too, Megumi. So much.”
So, maybe it’s not a perfect anniversary.
Maybe it’s just dinner packed into a to-go box and eaten at a campus library. Maybe they only have a few more minutes left together before Megumi has to put his foot down and keep working on his these. Maybe they won’t be officially living together for several weeks.
Still, it’s perfect.
This sort of simple domesticity is something that Megumi could live with every day. After all of the growing and the hurting and the changing that he went through, it’s so much easier for him to know now what it is that he wants, and all he wants is this. Quiet dinners, soft smiles, and stolen kisses.
How different he is from the Megumi he used to be.