Chapter Text
“Hey, Yashamaru… what is pain?”
“It’s something distressing… something difficult. I can’t explain it very well, but I suppose it means being in a situation that isn’t very good.”
“I think I understand pain now. I’m not bleeding… but I’ve been hurting around… here.”
“A wound on the body and a wound in the heart are different things. The thing that can heal a wound in the heart… is love.”
Love is something that spreads from one person to another. When you reach out to others with kindness, they return that same warmth to you.
But Yashamaru never said that love came with conditions.
Someone like me… people run the moment they see me. They run as far away as they can.
No one wants me around. All I have ever felt from others is fear, disgust, and hatred.
It doesn't matter where I go.
It doesn't matter who it is.
“Why you, Yashamaru?! Why did you attack me?!”
“My sister gave you the name ‘Gaara’… a demon who loves only himself. Love only yourself. Fight only for yourself. Then perhaps… you may continue to exist.”
So Gaara chose to fight only for himself.
Konoha was a noisy village.
Even from a distance, Gaara could hear chatting villagers, laughing children, and the cries of a restless baby. At the corner of the street stood a dessert shop with a tiny thatched roof and a glass showcase crowded with overly sweet snacks. Dinner had ended hours ago, yet the place was somehow even busier than before. There was no sign of closing.
As if eating and mingling with other humans were the greatest hobbies they could find.
Human connection was ridiculous. Laughter never lasted. Fear did.
To Gaara, fear was humanity’s truest nature, while kindness was nothing more than a fragile disguise.
Moonlight stretched across the village as night deepened, thickening the shadows beneath rooftops and trees. In a puddle of dirty water reflected the image of a weapon created only to kill.
Killing came naturally to Gaara. Watching crimson blood spread across pale ground was exciting. Those moments when people desperately begged for their lives before death swallowed them whole-
Those moments proved his existence.
He kept such thoughts to himself.
And to the monster sealed within him.
When Gaara opened his eyes, he realized he was lying on something soft.
A bed.
His body instantly tensed. He jumped upright and dropped into a defensive stance, only to freeze at the sight before him.
The room was unfamiliar.
Morning sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating walls decorated in soft colors. Pink curtains. Flower patterns. Pink blankets. Flower cushions.
Pink.
Flowers.
Pink.
Flowers.
They surrounded him from every direction.
Goosebumps rose across his skin.
What kind of horrifying place was this?
More importantly, how did he get here?
Gaara frowned deeply.
This room was disgusting.
And why had he been sleeping?
He could not remember the last time he truly slept. Had Shukaku somehow escaped during the night? Had he destroyed Konoha without realizing it?
Gaara quickly glanced outside the window. The village below was unmistakably Konoha, but this was not the street where the Suna team had been staying.
“Oi, Shukaku,” he called.
He paused.
This voice-
It sounded wrong.
Gaara slowly looked around the room.
“Oi,” he said again, more cautiously this time.
Silence.
No Shukaku.
Worse still, he realized the voice might had come from him.
His eyes narrowed sharply.
Never before had he been separated from Shukaku’s presence. He could no longer hear the beast’s maddening laughter, nor feel its chakra crawling beneath his skin.
What the hell is going on?
Then another problem hit him.
He needed to pee.
Fortunately, there was an attached bathroom nearby.
Standing in front of the toilet, Gaara suddenly found out-
his penis was gone.
What the hell is going on?!
After a painfully chaotic experiment to figure out the proper way to relieve himself, Gaara somehow managed to finish without making a complete mess. The only damage done was the intense heat spreading from his face down to his neck. He was panting too much just to pee.
Standing before the mirror, Gaara finally saw the full extent of the situation.
He had turned into a girl.
A strangled yell escaped his throat before he could stop it. Staring back at him was a girl with long pink hair and bright green eyes, a face that felt vaguely familiar.
“Who are you?!” Gaara barked at the reflection.
A genjutsu. It had to be.
Immediately, he formed the release handsign and stopped his flow of chakra flowing.
“Kai!”. One second, two, three….
Gaara’s expression darkened. He tried again.
“Kai!”
One second. Two. Three.
Still nothing.
Gaara stepped out of the bathroom, his thoughts completely overwhelmed.
Before he could make sense of the situation, the sound of approaching footsteps reached his ears. Instantly alert, he stiffened and shifted into a defensive stance, preparing for an attack.
The bedroom door slid open.
A blonde, middle aged woman dressed in white outfit entered.
“Sakura--oh, you’re awake,” she said casually, before pausing at the sight of his guarded posture. A puzzled look crossed her face. “What are you doing? Hurry up and get dressed. Breakfast is ready.”
“Who are you? State your purpose,” Gaara demanded coldly.
The woman frowned. “Are you okay? I’m mom.”
Then she began walking towards him.
“Back off!”, he hissed sharply.
Yet, unlike usual, no sands were rushing to shield him. Nothing moved.
“Young lady! Who do you think you are, talking to your mother like that? Honestly, ever since you hit puberty--”
Impossible!
How was she able to walk straight into his ultimate defense range?
Who is this woman? What is she trying to do?
Gaara desperately called for his sand inwardly.
Come on, come on, come on-
Sweat was sprouting from his forehead; anxiety playing with his patience. Bracing himself with a forearm stacked on another, fists curled tightly.
He did not know what to expect.
A punch?
A slap?
Shit-
Gaara squeezed his eyes shut.
However, none of the violent possibilities that flashed before his mind occurred.
He felt a warm palm placed on his head.
His eyes fluttered open and met with the woman’s. She is now only a forearm away from his face.
“What a worrying child. I know your exams are making you stressed, but please, communicate with your parents, okay?”
Gaara noticed her brows were furrowed inward when she said that.
But not one single word that came out of her mouth added up. His brain stopped functioning for a good while, not even recognizing the woman had already exited the room.
This is definitely an illusion.
Pain is a stimulator to break out of illusion. Gaara inhaled and slapped himself.
Ouch.
For the first time in a long time, he experienced physical discomfort, and it was caused by himself.
Anything changed?
He scanned the environment, still in the flowery and girly room, and his hair is still pink.
A sigh uncontrollably let out.
Then, a photo on the study table caught his eyes.
He recognized a familiar face from the other day when Kankuro almost started an unnecessary fight with a few Konoha genins.
Uchiha Sasuke.
An interesting subject Gaara would like to observe further.
Next to the Uchiha were a taller guy who seemed like a teacher, a blonde guy and the owner of his current body--Sakura, he remembered the name that woman called earlier.
Curtains flow at the side of his eye.
Time to head out and search for answers.
It felt like she had woken up on the wrong side of the bed.
No, the wrong room indeed.
Rays of sunlight slipped through the gaps of the shut windows, faintly lighting up the dark and empty space surrounding her.
Sakura’s head throbbed painfully the moment she regained her consciousness. A strange drumming in her ears followed. The uncomfortableness made her stomach churn violently.
She stumbled toward the nearest bathroom and threw up.
Later, the second she saw her reflection, a scream tore out of her throat loud enough to shake the building
Trembling, she grabbed her face, moving her limbs frantically as if denying what she was seeing.
Red hair.
Pale skin.
Dark rings around emotionless eyes.
She knows this face.
Sabaku no Gaara.
One of the scary Suna nins she and her team encountered the other day.
But why??? Why is she in his body???
“Gaara!”
A voice suddenly called from outside the bathroom.
Sakura nearly jumped.
The bathroom door slid open moments later, revealing a blonde girl with four ponytails staring directly at her.
“Are you okay?” The girl asked cautiously, “We heard you scream…”
Another figure stood beside her, the boy with purple face paint.
There, two of the other scary Suna nins.
Sakura had hit the jackpot of bad luck today.
“Uh…yeah,” Sakura answered stiffly. “I’m fine.”
The deep voice coming from her own mouth made her flinch again.
She wanted to tell them the truth immediately.
Listen, I’m not Gaara.
My name is Sakura and I’m from Konoha.
I don’t know how I end up in his body and where is mine-
But her rationale made sure she never said those out loud.
These were Suna shinobis.
She could not trust them.
“You should rest if you’re not feeling well,” the boy with face paint said carefully. His tone sounded noticeably different from the intimidating impression he had given her the other day. “We’ll come get you before the test this afternoon.”
Test? Sakura stiffened internally at the word.
“What test?” she asked, eyes widening slightly as she struggled to adjust to the unfamiliar voice coming out of Gaara’s throat.
The boy raised a confused brow, “The chuunin exam?”
“O-Oh…okay!” Sakura answered a little too quickly.
The awkward sheepish tone that slipped out of Gaara’s mouth made both Suna shinobis stare at her suspiciously.
So it’s the present time…
As soon as the two Suna shinobis left the room, Sakura dashed towards the window and slid it open. Leaning out slightly, she quickly scanned the surroundings below.
Konoha.
Relief hit her so hard her knees weakened.
Thank goodness. At least this wasn’t the worst-case scenario.
After hastily tidying herself up, Sakura hurried out of the room with only one goal in mind: fixing whatever nightmare this was.