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The Crooked Blade of Destiny: (An Unoffical Minecraft Adventure)

Summary:

Owen didn't ask to be the Chosen Hero. He didn't ask for a creeper girl to break into his house and eat all his food. He didn't ask for a skeleton archer with a drinking problem. And he definitely didn't ask to face the entity that destroyed his family. But Herobrine is rising, and Owen is running out of excuses to stay broken.


Behold. In my hubris, I tried to create an original Minecraft fanfic that isn't about Mobtalker. It went off the rails and ended up stagnating. I'll be posting the chapters over time until I've got them all out there, and then I'll leave the idea out there, available for anyone to remix, or fix up. Feel free to link me if you guys do make a remix of this, because I'd love to see it.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: The Statue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I feel like the whole thing started when I opened my eyes, and found my pet dog, Dug, sitting on my chest, his ears perked up and his nose glistening. This was the second time I was waking up. The first time, I'd rolled over and gone back to sleep, but now Dug was up and there was no return to the land of Nod. His warm, meaty breath told me that he had raided the chest of cooked pork chops again, and the way he was bouncing from one foot to another let me know it was once again time to let him go out and do his business. His white fur was wet and slick, and it smelled like fermented alcohol and rancid coffee grinds.

"Why now, Dug?" The tamed wolf cocked its head to one side.

"Oh, wait. I forgot; you can't understand me." The dog barked and continued its potty dance. I wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth, and sat up, pushing the dog off the bed. It whined as it hit the floor, flashing red as its health ticked down a few points.

I reached into a nearby chest, pausing for a moment to admire the emeralds inside before pulling out a splash potion of healing. I threw it down, and with the tinkle of broken glass, the bubbling concoction erupted upward, dissipating into green swirls of steam. The whines stopped as the dog's tail perked up and began wagging. A small burst of energy went through me as the cut on my lip sealed and the slight ache I'd had in my back melted away, then it was gone. I smacked my lips as I reached into my closet area, pulling out a pair of leather pants and stepping into them. The closet wasn't really much of a closet; it was more of a small room I'd tacked onto the side of my house without much thought as to how it would look later. I tugged on a leather shirt, then opened a chest, removing several sets of boots. Which boots should I wear today?

"What do you think, Dug?" The wolf glanced up at me, then nosed the blue leather boots.

"Oh, really? Dug, I'm wearing red. Blue doesn't go with red." Dug barked, nuzzling my bare leg.

"Are you sure?" Dug sat back on its haunches and yawned. I sighed, massaging my forehead.

"Welp, you're the boss." I slipped on the blue boots, sinking my feet into the soft rabbit fur. I massaged my head once more, trying to stave off the headache I could feel coming on, and then I yanked a leather helmet off of the armor rack sitting in the far corner of my closet. I gave Dug a quick pat on the head.

"Stay." The wolf whimpered, but it sat back, staring up at me with its amber eyes.

I smiled. "Don't worry, boy. I'll be back before you know it." I ruffled the fur around the dog's neck, then grabbed my bow from the armor stand. I plucked the string, listening for any inconsistencies in the tone of the twang. It sounded like it had about 15 durability still left. That would have to be enough. I opened the door and spared one more glance for the interior of my one-room house. Dug let out a mournful howl, and I closed the door softly behind me.

I was only about fifteen blocks away when another mournful keel echoed across the plain. What is wrong with that dog? He already ate, so it can't be that… Oh, Crap. He needed to go, and I locked him in the house. I whirled on one foot and sprinted back. I flung the door open, took two steps over to my chest, pulled out a leash, clipped it onto Dug's red collar, and pulled him to his feet. He whimpered, then with a burst of speed, yanked me out of the door. I closed the door and fell over as the leash, which had gotten tangled in between my legs, pulled taut. I was dragged through several patches of long grass, a puddle of mud, a puddle of something smelly, and a block of liquid honey. I dug into the ground with my fingers but was unable to find traction. Dug suddenly swerved to avoid something, and I thudded into a tree trunk. The breath left my lungs in a whoosh, and I grunted. Two blocks of oak wood flew into my hotbar. I rolled over and looked up to see a large tree hurtling toward my face. The last thing I heard was Dug's bark of panic before the trunk reduced my brain-cell count by at least five hundred and sent my consciousness to the plain of unconsciousness.


Ughhhh.

"Did anyone get the number of that creeper?" I muttered as I slowly sat up. I checked my HUD. I was now at five hearts instead of ten. Netherite, I thought. Mobs tended to spawn when one had low hp, and leather armor could only take so much punishment. I checked the durability of my armor. The impact of that tree had already brought the durability down to almost nil. It could probably shield me from one blow from a zombie, but definitely not a prolonged assault, or skeleton arrows, or, even worse, a creeper explosion. Memories sprung up unbidden, and her face swam before my eyes. Can't think about that right now, I told myself. Got to get back to the house, back to shelter.

"Dug?" I said. "Come on buddy, we need to get going." I waited for the bark that would signify Dug's obedience. I heard the gurgle of a nearby stream, the buzz of several large bees floating a few blocks away, the distant sounds of cows lowing and sheep bleating, and the thump of a rabbit moving through the underbrush. No Dug.

"Dug!" I called again. "Come here, boy!" The bees had floated closer now, the rabbit had gone by, and it sounded like there was a herd of cattle approaching in the distance, yet still, no Dug. I sidestepped a large docile bumblebee and pushed my way through a thicket of sweet berry brambles, revealing a small clearing.

That's odd. I've never seen this before. The clearing was about 20 by 20 blocks and there was no vegetation to be seen within it—not a clump of wild grass, or a sprig of wildflowers, not even a sweet berry bush. Everything had been cleared away, by someone. I gulped. If it was another human… I hadn't seen one in five years, and the last one I'd seen hadn't been hostile, but all the same, it would be great to have a better weapon than an old bow that would probably break after three shots, four if I was lucky.

Should I risk it? I examined my surroundings. The forest surrounded the clearing on all sides, meaning mobs might spawn. The bushes also provided excellent cover, providing someone was setting up an ambush. I checked my backpack. The only items I had were those two oak logs, a couple of sweet berries, 64 arrows, a loaf of bread, a couple of blocks of cobblestone, the bow, and a wooden axe.

I pulled out the oaken logs, and quickly carved them into wooden planks. I combined them into a crafting table and set it down on the floor beside me carefully, being sure not to make any noise. I converted the remaining planks into sticks and combined them with my cobblestone blocks to make a sword. It wasn't my best workmanship; the blade was a little crooked, I could tell from a glance that if I swung hard, it would lunge a little bit to the left, and the cross guard wasn't big enough to cover my hand, leaving me open to someone trying to take my fingers off, but it would have to do. I stuffed the rest of my materials back into my bag, added the sword, axe, and bow to my hotbar, then stepped into the clearing.

The grass crunched under my leather shoes, the sound echoing loudly throughout the quiet place. The bees had flown off, the cattle had stopped lowing, and the chattering of the river had gone silent.

"Dug?" I whispered. "Are you out there, buddy?" The whole world seemed to be holding its breath, for the pervading silence grew so thick it was almost like a physical presence, standing behind me and breathing on my neck. I rubbed the back of my neck apprehensively. There's no one out there, I told myself. It's just your imagination playing tricks on you. I wiped a wave of sweat from my brow. I took another step forward, and I heard a small click. I froze, then slowly looked down. The grass block I had just stepped on was not really a grass block, but a piece of lime-green carpet. I mined the carpet and gasped. Underneath the carpet sat a small, grey, stone pressure plate. I had just activated a trap.

The entire world slowed to a crawl. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a grey block pop out of the ground; it was a dispenser. A smiley face stared back at me, arrows spewing from its mouth. With one fluid motion, I drew the crooked blade and spun it, deflecting one. I stepped back and narrowly avoided three more. My eyes detected a blur of motion to my left, and I flung myself forward. Arrows whistled through the air, carpeting the ground where I'd just been.

Another click sounded, and I heard the flick-hiss of TNT being ignited. The ground all around me erupted upwards as pistons hurled blocks of explosives skyward.

"Netherite," I muttered, knocking the blocks away with my sword. The blocks flashed white faster and faster. There were only a few precious milliseconds with which to act. I grabbed the remaining blocks of cobblestone, and jumped, stacking the blocks as I did. I placed the last block just as the TNT ignited. A wall of pure white slammed into me and sent me flying. My armor creaked for a moment as it absorbed some of the damage, then disintegrated. I felt my health tick down one heart, then two hearts, and then I hit something with enough force to vaporize the blocks that made it. White light flooded my field of vision, making it impossible to make anything more than one block away. I gingerly reached up and rubbed my eyes, trying to regain my sight.

Red-hot flames of agony consumed my back, and several blocky tears leaked down my cheeks. I rubbed my eyes and blinked. I heard the creak of gears whirring and turned in the direction of the sound. I could just barely make out the outline of some small structure rising out of the ground. I wiped my eyes one last time, then reached into my backpack, pulling out the loaf of bread. I devoured it quickly, pulling out the sweet berries and consuming them as well, moaning in pleasure as the tangy juices of the berries mixed with the soft buttery crust of the loaf. I checked my HUD and sighed with relief as my hunger meter refilled. I felt the sugar high of hyper-healing permeate my being, and the bruises and scratches along my body began to close, a phenomenon I'd never truly get used to seeing.

My eyesight returned to normal, and I was able to examine the structure in full. It was a small pyramid made of decorated stone blocks. Most of the blocks around the edge were moldy, covered with little strands of plants, and quite a few were cracked. Whatever this was, someone had wanted it to look old. I chuckled to myself. That someone clearly has never met me. I could tell from a glance that the mold on most of the decorated blocks had simply been placed on top of them, and the cracked decorated blocks were clearly carved. I got to my feet slowly, and carefully limped over to the pyramid.

I felt the edge of the decorated bricks, admiring the craftsmanship. Wow, this person must either be the most skilled stonemason on this side of Open Hills Biome, or they took these to that villager who lives up by the River Ghast Tears. I walked back over to where I had left my crafting table, and quickly strung together the remaining planks and sticks into a pickaxe. The head of the tool was several mini blocks off center, and the handle wasn't quite as long as I would have liked, but it was a pickaxe, and that was what mattered. First, I mined the cobblestone pillar, then I turned back to the pyramid.

I raised the pick slowly, shifting my weight so that the full force of my body would be behind the stroke. I closed my eyes, and once more her face flitted through my mind. Her soft voice filled my thoughts. Remember to open your eyes. Otherwise, you might take off your toes instead of mining the block. A wry smile darted across my face, and I banished it with a thought, opting instead for a grim mask of determination. I opened my eyes, and with a yell, I slammed the pickaxe into the stone. With a crunch, the tool splintered. I was thrown off balance by this and I tumbled to the ground with a thud. I groaned, then leaped to my feet.

What? H-How did that happen?

I let my gaze slowly rise to the apex of the pyramid. There, resting on the top of the pillar rising from the middle of the structure, sat a small statue. I flinched; the statue was shaped like a miniature creeper. I checked my backpack, but there were no more sticks. I clenched my fists and slammed one of them into the creeper, channeling all my frustration, all my rage, into a devastating blow that would have vaporized a block of iron ore. The statue shuddered, then it entered my hotbar without a sound. I pulled it out and examined it from every angle. It was the perfect likeness of a creeper in every sense, right down to the small circular patterns of spots that they have on their backs. I shuddered again as memories of her rose unbidden in the back of my mind. I quickly shoved them down, down to the deepest darkest corner of my mind. I could not, would not dwell on the past—not now of all times.

I was shoved from my reverie by a loud bark. I whirled around.

"Dug?" I asked incredulously. A white blur sped through the craters of destruction left behind by the TNT blocks and slammed into my chest. My hearts ticked down a small fourth, but I didn't care. I ruffled the fur around Dug's collar, and laughed as he nuzzled into my backpack, searching for food.

"I don't have anything here. I don't suppose you happen to have anything for me?" Dug barked again, and the smell of raw mutton filled the air. I gagged, still laughing and rubbing the wolf's back. I got up and massaged the dog's back.

"You already ate, I see. That means that I get whatever pork chops you left behind." The dog whined, and I chuckled. I spun around on my heel and began to exit the clearing. At the edge, I stopped and let my gaze roam around it once more. I still couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. There was no one there, and yet the feeling persisted. I shrugged and began my excursion through the thicket of sweet berry bushes.

Notes:

Chapter 1. The beginning of the story, where most authors peek.
Fun Fact: I recycled this chapter from a completely different story idea. This story was originally going to be a rom-com about Owen meeting a Creeper girl and going on wacky adventures with other Mob characters. I wrote maybe 4 chapters of that one, and then I realized that I didn't know how to do romance or comedy.