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“E. It’s the most used letter.”
What a predictable response from the silly little Researcher! The Director laughs at the answer and gleefully tells her how wrong she is, before bringing the Tragedy one step closer to death.
Hang-tragedy is a really fun game! The Director can let the Tragedy watch helplessly as their fellow actors fail to save them, a classic type of game that xe hasn’t played in a little while! (Well, unless you count the ones the Tragedy skips, but she doesn’t! It isn’t fun when he isn’t suffering.)
And the audience seems to love it too! It’s hard to say for sure, since without talking to them directly they’re less of a present force and more of a voice in the back of the Director’s mind, but they feel like they’re getting louder! Possibly because their voices can influence the guesses now! Probably best not to dwell on what else they could affect.
After a few more guesses, the topics discussed between the voices (who can apparently talk to each other, but only some of them maybe?) begin to shift away from anything that resembles actual strategy.
Soon, the voices seem more focused on talking about pirates (ew) and… a certain word the Director has never heard before, rather than the actual game at hand. On one hand, a little irritating since fae worked VERY hard on this one, but on the other hand, he can’t blame the voices. Who wouldn’t want to see the Tragedy die again, after all?
Then, they start using that word as a guess, and that’s where the Director begins to draw the line. It didn’t even fit with the letters they had guessed! It wasn’t even 7 letters long, or at least it didn’t sound like it!
The Director tried to just brush it off, but the voices were insistent. This word needed to be said, according to the voices, and they didn’t seem to be stopping any time soon.
Eventually, the Director finally snapped out loud, “NO! THAT’S NOT THE WORD! I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING RELATED TO PIRATES EVER AGAIN! I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A GAS̸̡̨̠̹̤̮̥͔̯͕̍̌̋͌ͅT̸͓̳̳̐̍̍̔̕E̵͇̽̀͐͑̀͒̆̒̆͌̂̓̚Ŗ̶̢̛̥̼̮̼̲͉̹̍̐̾̌̀͑͑̾͂̉̏̊͛ͅ
HOW
INTERESTING.
“E. It’s the most used letter.”
What a predictable response from the silly little Researcher! The Director laughs at the answer and gleefully tells her how wrong she is, before bringing the Tragedy one step closer to death.
Hang-tragedy is a really fun game! The Director can let the Tragedy watch helplessly as their fellow actors fail to save them, a classic type of game that xe hasn’t played in a little while! (Well, unless you count the ones the Tragedy skips, but she doesn’t! It isn’t fun when he isn’t suffering.)
And the audience seems to love it too! It’s hard to say for sure, since without talking to them directly they’re less of a present force and more of a voice in the back of the Director’s mind, but they’re demonstrably louder than usual!
But they don’t seem to be talking about the game at all. Instead, they’re just talking about some weird… pirate? The Director quickly tuned all thoughts of pirates and adventures related to them out of their mind. Never again!
But they are so persistent. Too persistent. Despite the Director’s best efforts to ignore them, the voices are impossible to tune out. They’re so loud, in fact, that the Director can’t even hear any of what the actors are saying! It’s just an incomprehensible mess.
The Director has listened to the audience for a long time, but in all these years, fae has never heard such an earworm!
It’s so weird, because xe didn’t even think anything big happened! Normally, even if nobody else is in on strange occurrences, the Director is still aware. But did she really miss something? Something so big that the audience cares more about it than the actual new game that they get to participate in?
No, no, no! This was the DIRECTOR’S game, and the audience would have to sit down and watch it! If they won’t actually participate, and instead just say whatever, then maybe they could let the actors just choose the words first for once, and leave the audience out! That seems like a perfectly reasonable solution that definitely won’t have any major repercussions down the line!
They’re still shouting, but the Director just needs to do that breathing thing and let the actors talk. It’ll be fine it’ll be fine it’ll be-
“Wh-what’s that sound?”
“You hear it too, Mira?”
Oh stars.
No.
NO NO NO NO! HE WILL NOT LET THE ACTORS SEE IT! THAT HORRIBLE BLINDING SADNESS THAT THE AUDIENCE TALKS THROUGH, THE DIRECTOR WON’T LET IT OUT AGAIN! NEVER! NEVER!
Spiraling, however, proves to be the exact worst idea, as it makes the actors notice something up with the Director.. They say some words that probably aren’t very nice, not that she can hear them over the cries of the audience, now claiming they’re being “silenced,” as if the Director isn’t doing them a kindness by even letting them be around at all.
But the mere fact that it can get so bad that the actors take notice and break their stage directions… the mere thought is enough to break the Director.
And when the Director breaks, it comes out.
The sadness appears once more, now shouting in so many different voices, all cutting each other off, overlapping, shouting, some seem giddy, others concerned, all excited.
“You can’t silence us anymore!”
“This is so peak.”
“Does the Director not even remember this?”
“Guys we have to say it now!”
And suddenly, a bunch of voices, all at once, say a word.
“THE WORD IS GAS̸̡̨̠̹̤̮̥͔̯͕̍̌̋͌ͅT̸͓̳̳̐̍̍̔̕E̵͇̽̀͐͑̀͒̆̒̆͌̂̓̚Ŗ̶̢̛̥̼̮̼̲͉̹̍̐̾̌̀͑͑̾͂̉̏̊͛ͅ
“E. It’s the most-“
“IT HAPPENED AGAIN!”
“WE’RE ALREADY HERE!”
“Are we just making another timeloop now?”
What the STARS is going on?
Why is the SADNESS here? The Director wasn’t even spiraling! Why is it so excited? What-
The Director tries to loop to the start of the game, but the sadness stays.
WHY is it staying? It’s supposed to listen to the Director, not just show up and become a permanent party member for the funnies!
What did the audience do?
“DIRECTOR, WHAT’S GOING ON?”
“I DON’T KNOW, TRAGEDY! THIS ISN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!”
“Oh, don’t give me that! You’re just lying through your blinding teeth, aren’t you?”
“SHUT UP, PREQUEL! I’LL KILL YOU!”
The Director does that, despite the fact that xe is in the middle of a breakdown. It makes her feel a little better. The Tragedy reaches for the bell pendant, but it isn’t on them. To be honest, that’s probably for the best! If this thing can appear NOW, then who’s to say it won’t show up at the very start of a loop as well?
No, the Director needs time to fix this, before the Sadness and the Audience ruin everything. She may be a worthless boss designed to be killed and hated, but nobody else understands a fraction of what he does!
But before the Director can do anything…
“CHIPS AHOY, LAND-“
“WHAT THE STARS IS THAT?”
A BOAT COMES CRASHING IN THROUGH THE WALL? HOW? THIS ENTIRE LABYRINTH IS UNDERGROUND??????
And there’s someone on top of it as well. A person with a color in their body, specifically the color that showed up on the Director that one time he ate broccoli in the Labyrinth.
“I BE HEARIN’
YOUR CRIES
OF ME NAME.”
The Sadness (the audience) look very excited at this sudden turn of events, and rapidly talk over each other.
“HOLY SHIT IT’S HIM”
“GASTER IS HERE”
“OUR PIRATE CAPTAIN”
“WEIRD DEARD GASTER”
“WE CAN SAY HIS NAME NOW”
“WHY IS HE HERE”
“WE’VE RUINED IT ALL”
“LET’S GO”
Of course, these sentences are all overlapping each other, so nobody can actually hear these words, they’re just being separated for the benefit of the other audience. The Director, as well as the other actors, have elected to ignore these noises in favor of questioning everything else going on.
“Wh-who are you?”
“Are you another puppet made by the Director?”
“Be careful. It could be a mere distraction.”
The strange-colored, vaguely person-shaped being opens their mouth and begins talking.
“MY NAME BE
WEIRD DEARD GASTER.
THE GREATEST PIRATE
IN ALL UNIVERSES!”
Ah. So the audience has summoned a multidimensional being to come in the middle of the Director’s silly hangman game! What fun!
“And… why, prey tell, is this “pirate” showing up now?”
“I BELIEVE
I ALREADY ANSWERED
YER QUESTION
WHEN I ARRIVED.”
Suddenly, a weird creature with a beak hops on Gaster’s shoulder and starts squawking, “He heard the names! He cried the calls! Squawk!”
So basically what the Director just thought in xer mind. Really, really fun! Thanks SO much, audience!
“AYE!
COULD THAT BE
AN EGG I SEE?”
Gaster and the actors are now looking at the Director, who suddenly feels a strong wave of fury and embarrassment. Did… did this THING really have the gall to just show up out of nowhere and call the Director’s mask an egg? The worst part was that the actors, even the Researcher, all looked like they were trying not to laugh when he said it!
“Pff… I see it!”
“Heh. So this thing at least has a sense of humor. That means it probably isn’t a creation of the Director.”
“THIS ISN’T AN EGG,” The Director shouts, “IT’S A MASK! ARE YOU UNCULTURED?”
Gaster does not respond directly to the question, only the first statement.
“AH.
GOOD.
I WAS HOPING
ME CAT FRIENDS
WOULD NOT NEED
TO PLUNDER.”
“Cat friends???” The Housemaiden looks very excited. “Can I see?”
“OF COURSE
LASSIE.”
A bunch of strange looking cats with weird-colored eyes show up, and all at once they say, “Yeah, we’re here too.”
“Oh. That’s… not what I was expecting?”
“Why can’t anything be normal…” Oh, boo hoo, Tragedy! So sad about everything!
…The Director agrees, but he’s too busy making fun of the Tragedy in her mind to care!
Gaster ignores them, instead surveying the rest of the room.
“I SEE.
THERE BE 6
7 COUNTING THE DEAD ONE
IN TOTAL.”
“…Yes?” The Researcher looks concerned.
“AND WHAT BE THIS
THAT I SEE?
COPIES
OF THE SAME PERSON!”
“I guess that weird Sadness does look kind of like Sif…” the Fighter mutters, “and the Director is dressing like him.”
“NOT ONLY THAT
BUT THE COPIES
ARE MONOCHROME!”
The Director rolls their eyes. “Yes…? Everything is monochrome here! Don’t you know ANYTHING?”
“WHAT A FORTUNATE
SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES.
TELL ME,
WOULD ANY OF YE
BE WILLIN’ TO JOIN
ME PIRATE CREW?”
“Uh, no?”
“Please no…”
“No.”
“Absolutely not.”
“NEVER!”
“YES”
“PLEASE”
“WE’RE JOINING GASTER’S CREW”
“THIS IS AMAZING”
Of COURSE the audience wants to join. They just want to ruin everything, don’t they?
“AYE.
IF THAT’S SO
HOP ABOARD
ME VESSEL!”
The Sadness jumps on the ship??? And it looks back????? And it waves????????
“WE BE MOVIN’
TO GREENER PASTURES!”
The ship just… leaves. A weird bird looking thing pushes it through the wall, making sure to say “Fuck you” before doing so, leaving the Director, the Tragedy, the actors, and a dead Prequel staring in shock.
The Director slowly turns to the Tragedy.
“We are never mentioning this again, got it?”
The Tragedy just nods.
“Wonderful! Now, where was I?”
The Director loops back.
The Hangman game goes well, but it’s not as fun without the audience choosing the letters.
They just had to ruin the Director’s fun, didn’t they?