Work Text:
Echoes inside myself
In moments there is a sense of clarity. A moment in time when I can look at myself with open eyes and see what I had been running from. Echoes of my past that I felt I needed to hide in fear that my roots grow deeply into the ground around me. I spend moments of my time observing the children in my care. Watching as their minds and thoughts make their way to paper.
Art is in every form that you make and hone. It could be seen in a simple garden, in cooking, drawing magic circles, science and various other forms. Art is not solely creative, it can be logical as well. Art can even be in the way you raise the next generation to be their very own people. Aspiring to be great things or living simply, that is the gift that can be given to children.
Everyday, I’m reminded about how strong children are. I’m reminded about Coco. Her love for her mother motivates her to make great strides. Yet, I worry about her taking on more than her little form can handle. I watch as this little version of myself works and pushes herself forward, even when I know she's tired. I remember seeing it in her eyes just how exhausted her burdens make her. Yet, she keeps going… yet, I wonder… Does she realize that she doesn’t need to be strong? Will she ever realize that I’m here rooting for her victories, and holding on to her worries with her?
Each child I took in could be seen as little echoes of myself. Little embers and that remind me of how far I’ve come from the boy they rescued from the tree. Agott needs to be perfect, to prove herself worthy of the Arklaum name. Tetia, in her awe of the world around her, and her need to help people. Richeh in her desire to remain her own person and not get lost in her magic… and Coco with her stubborn need to to solve all her problems and others. I remember Agott stating that Coco never draws for herself. I didn't realize how true it was until I found coco researching devices to help me with my sight.
And I think, shes too young to worry about the world of adults. Yet, the world has forced her to grow faster than she is ready for. I can remember how it felt when they did the same to me. Imagine you being a small child in a group of adults, their fingers pointed at you as they air their disappointment to you due to their own misguided hatred. Imagine being thrust into the world of magic knowing nothing about how flipped the narrative actually is.
In the eyes of the observer. Witches are magic… they can do anything, reach anything and be… anything. Yet for us there will always be anxiety. Most of us live under the sea in order to avoid the eyes of outsiders, we are unable to practise magic in front of them due to risk of exposure, any and every contraption we use or make is under watch constantly. From the atelier with our watchful eyes to the books we create, everything is carefully controlled to prevent people like Coco from knowing them. On the surface we are free, but in reality we are prisoners.
The only thing that I can do to protect the children under my care is to view themselves as such. It is to teach them that the magic that they create brings fourth their freedom. Until I root, or until they part from my side, I will always be there to watch over them. Not to control them, but to free them.