Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Tae, you can't even see."

"S'fine."

Jungkook pulled his mask down a bit nonetheless, laughing as Taehyung opened his eyes and snow mingled with his eyelashes.

"Not cool," he whined, pushing Jungkook's hand away to lean into his neck, "I was almost sleeping."

"We're standing at a crosswalk and the light just turned green; you can sleep when we get to the studio."

It had been snowing for the past hours, and Taehyung had felt like the short walk from the bus stop to Jungkook's studio was a true test of volition.

"Why am I going to the studio with you again?" Tae asked as they crossed the street hand-in-hand. He tried really hard not to step on Jungkook's heels, but he somehow couldn't find it in him to leave any space between them. It was cold, and he was tired.

"You didn't want to stay at the dorm alone."

It wasn't really the part about staying alone that bothered Taehyung; it was rather the part about being without Jungkook, so he'd quickly jumped off the couch when Jungkook had said he was leaving, grabbed the closest hat and coat and agreed that they needed to get out (he was lying; the couch never looked more appealing).

Jungkook fixed his mask three more times before they reached the door of the studio, a slab of metal on a wall of red bricks in a quieter section of the city. Jungkook rented the small two-story building along with two other friends from his classes, but since it was late, and also Tuesday, the place was pitch black and oh so cold.

Taehyung rushed to Jungkook's work area and tucked himself away into the futon as Jungkook turned on the heat. After Taehyung had visited the studio for the first time the year before, he'd hurried back to his dorm room and ordered the cheapest (and safest) futon and heater he could find, knowing very well that he and Jungkook were still barely friends and that he really, really liked him.

The studio was one of Taehyung's favourite places in the world, like a small museum tucked away for only the luckiest people to visit. Every available space was covered with Jungkook's finished works, or projects he'd given up on but couldn't bring himself to scrap. And the best part was seeing Jungkook at work. When they'd first started to become close, Jungkook had been so shy about his work that Taehyung was only invited to his studio a month later, and he could still remember how Jungkook had covered his face for a solid ten minutes until Taehyung had stopped wah-ing and wow-ing and ah-ing.

"Can you work from the futon?" Taehyung asked, toying with a blanket because he knew he sounded unreasonable.

"Tae." Jungkook peered over at him from the long table set up at the other end of the room where he was laying out his paints. He almost felt annoyed because he had to catch up on some last-minute projects and Taehyung always became a distraction (it was his own fault that he was always distracted by him). Key word was 'almost', for when he properly laid his eyes on Taehyung, half-awake and looking as soft as all the blankets that surrounded him, Jungkook wanted nothing more that to just curl up next to him and fall asleep.

He sighed.

"If I do, will you make sure I get stuff done?"

"Aye, captain," Taehyung yawned, simultaneously trying to muffle the large smile that threatened to overcome his face.

Jungkook carried all of his supplies over and set up his things on the coffee table in front of the futon. He made to sit next to Taehyung, but Tae lazily reached out and pulled at his pants until he sat between his legs, wrapping them around Jungkook's waist. 

"Hey, no distractions."

"You can't see my face from here. Distraction number one: eliminated."

Jungkook turned and nudged Taehyung in the chest, and he got three winks and a kiss in return.

"I'm working with ink. You know what that means, right?" Jungkook asked, pulling away from Tae and pouring the ink onto his palette.

"Taehyungie is not allowed to move." Taehyung leaned back into the couch and watched the muscles in Jungkook's back move under his shirt.

Once, back when they were still new to one another and neither knew how to act around the other, Taehyung had accidentally knocked over an entire bottle of black ink onto a stack of bristol boards, and it had taken a million reassurances on Jungkook's behalf and an accepted gift of new bristol boards, new ink and lunch on Taehyung's behalf for Taehyung to understand that he hadn't actually ruined everything. Coincidentally, the incident had led to their first date.

For the first thirty minutes, Taehyung hadn't moved, slipping in and out of consciousness, only waking up when Jungkook would instinctively rub up and down his calf with a free hand when he'd really lose himself in his work. In those moments, Taehyung really wished he could see his face, brows furrowed in concentration and eyes determined and overwhelmingly full of passion. He leaned his head back and shut his eyes.

"Taehyung-ah," Jungkook whispered at some point, pulling Taehyung out of his light sleep.

"Mm?" Taehyung stretched his back and reached forward to mold himself to Jungkook's back. He breathed deep, inhaling Jungkook's scent and nuzzling further into the back of his neck like he always did when he needed to hold him and make sure everything was ok.

Taehyung openly gave and demanded the most affection, which worked out perfectly because Jungkook was somewhat of a closeted softie. Whenever they went out with friends, they kept things brief and subtle, like a hand rubbing across shoulders, or a squeeze of the knee beneath the table. Both had wordlessly agreed that intimacy felt a thousand times more special and a thousand times less watched if it happened alone, where Jungkook felt the most comfortable. And Tae knew him so well, knew exactly when he needed to be held and kissed and loved.

"That's pretty," Taehyung said over his shoulder. He registered the capped bottles and cleaned brushes, "Are you done?"

"For tonight, yeah."

Jungkook carefully unwound Taehyung's legs from him, pushed the coffee table away to the side, then helped Taehyung stand up. Together they unfolded the futon and arranged all the pillows and blankets in a way that would create a strong enough barrier from the cold that still managed to creep in through the bricks. The futon was arguably one of Taehyung's best purchases; it reassured him that Jungkook could still get some sleep during his late nights at the studio, and it was perfect for times when there weren't anymore buses and all they wanted to do was press close to one another.

From where they lay, Jungkook half-covering Taehyung's body with his own and their legs tangled together under layers of blankets and duvets, they could just make out the snow falling down through the night sky beyond a small window across the room. The window was their only source of light, with streetlights and the moon shining just out of the frame. The moment Jungkook put his head on Tae's chest, Taehyung instinctively reached up and carded his fingers through it.

"We aren't doing anything tomorrow, right?" Taehyung questioned as he brushed Jungkook's bangs out of his face.

"Don't think so. Why?"

Taehyung marveled up at the snow, trying to peg why he associated Jungkook with winter.

"I can already tell that I won't be able to leave this spot tomorrow. Future me will probably want to spend the day in bed with you and jazz music and takeout."

Jungkook kissed Taehyung's chin and pressed even more into him.

"Future me will probably agree."

Chapter Text

Usually, Taehyung never picked Jungkook up from school; he was busy, he didn't live close, and Jungkook didn't like to feel babied. Those plain reasons usually kept him at home at that hour, working from his laptop and looking over at his phone every few minutes to see if Jungkook had called.

The day had been a slow one; Taehyung had woken up before the birds and before the sun, had sat down at his desk more awake than a person should be at that hour, and began to read over an austerely tiresome draft that took him late into the afternoon to finally reach the end of. His job had made him quite the efficient reader, yet it also turned him into a bitter critic of the works of others, to his dismay. Sometimes he wished to be able to dive into a novel without thinking about the plot and the character development and the syntax and so on and so forth—it made him feel old.

It was when he'd gotten up to stretch his back that Taehyung realized it had started raining, and that if he ran down to the station right then, he could make it just in time to catch Jungkook as he left school. So he grabbed his coat and an umbrella, and hurried off.

Taehyung loved taking the train, but not as much as Jungkook did. During the summer they would go on spontaneous trips to wherever the train tracks ended, allowing for full days of each other's company, and all the opportunities in the world for Jungkook to marvel at the changing scenery. He had a talent for documenting and finding the utmost beauty in everything, as his filled photo albums illustrated.

Lately, because of work and because of Jungkook's quickly approaching entrance exams, their time spent together usually amounted to study sessions and sleep which never gave Taehyung enough time to talk—properly talk—to Jungkook about all the things he needed to get off his chest, like how much he worried about him when they weren't together, about how much he cared for him, about how much he wanted Jungkook to live with him. They were all things that just couldn't find their place in the rush of everything.

Taehyung felt out of place waiting in the parking lot of the high school; it had been three years since he'd graduated, a year before everyone else his age, barely taking a breath before he breezed through university and got a job. He and Jungkook were at very different points in their lives, but Taehyung tried to convince himself that there was no way that it could interfere, no way that where he was compared to where Jungkook was could be two landmarks on completely different maps. He switched the umbrella to his other hand.

Spotting Jungkook wasn't that difficult, he was tall, he never wore his blazer and he was always one of the last people out of the building. Taehyung watched as he juggled the books in his arms to try and shield them from the rain and said goodbye to some of his classmates. Yugyeom, a friend that Taehyung recognized, joined him at the steps to share his umbrella, and they were about to walk home when Jungkook spotted Taehyung from the corner of his eye. Or so he assumed, because he stopped abruptly and stared in his direction, ignoring Yugyeom's calls for him to catch up. Jungkook looked over his shoulder at Yugyeom, said a few things, then waved him off as he made his way towards Taehyung.

"Tae," he said, stepping naturally right up to Taehyung and pressing their free hands together, "Is everything OK?"

Water dripped from his nose and hair, and Taehyung squeezed his hand.

"Yeah, I just thought that maybe... Maybe you'd forget to bring an umbrella, and you'd have to walk home in the rain."

The small crease between Jungkook's brows disappeared, replaced by a smile as he quirked his head.

"Is that why you came all the way here? Because there was a possibility that I'd get rained on during the two minute walk between here and my place? I mean, I did forget, but Yugyeom didn't, so I guess you came all this way for nothing. Bummer."

Taehyung looked down at his shoes and flushed as Jungkook slipped his hand around Taehyung's nape and laughed.

"Alright, alright. Maybe I just really missed you, or something."

"Or something," Jungkook mocked, eyes shining as he looked—really looked—at Taehyung. "Well, I know for sure that I missed you. I'm glad you came."

That small reassurance was all it took for Taehyung to quiet his brain and pull Jungkook into his chest like he'd been longing for since the last time they'd been together. He breathed in deep as Jungkook rubbed gently over his back under his coat.

"Do you have to get home? Because it'd be nice if you could come over, stay the night even."

Jungkook pulled back just enough to brush his lips against the corner of Taehyung's mouth as an answer, his doe eyes searching Tae's one last time, making sure everything really was alright, before curling his arm completely over Taehyung's shoulders and guiding him towards the train station. As they walked, Taehyung made sure that Jungkook didn't get rained on, and Jungkook made sure that Taehyung didn't step in any puddles because he kept looking at him instead of where his feet were going.

In the train, they sat with their arms and thighs pressed tightly together and their hands loosely intertwined as grey skies and deep green forests played like a film reel beyond their window. In the quietness and comfort of the train, Jungkook leaned further into Taehyung, eyes sparkling and glued to the view, and whispered something about how this train ride always made him feel like he was going home.

Chapter Text

If he were stuck on a desert island, Jungkook would probably choose Taehyung to be the one thing he could bring with him. It was a situation he thought of often for reasons he couldn't understand, his brain's way of reminding him that Taehyung is so indispensable to your well-being, accept it already. Taehyung was also the easy answer, the answer anyone who knew him would simply brush off, then pester him to choose something for real. The two of them were like a packaged deal, two best friends always the butt ends of each other's jokes. When the gang would go out for drinks, Taehyung and Jungkook kept a promise they had made when they were eighteen that one of them always had to stay sober—one incident had been enough to prove to them that they trusted each other the most, and besides, both of them drunk at the same time was always a mess. On New Years, Jungkook and Taehyung would turn to one another and pretend to make out because they were always the only ones without dates. When Taehyung got sick, Jungkook would go buy his groceries, and when Jungkook was sick, Taehyung would film him doing dumb things in a semi-conscious state.

Their normal was another person's commitment, but they'd crossed so many boundaries and made so many things conventional that Jungkook assumed that there was nothing more to reach for in their relationship; they were basically married, yet they'd never even kissed.

He loved to look at Taehyung's lips when he talked and when he smiled, when he pouted and when he yelled at Jungkook to stop playing his games while he was out. Countless times, he'd come so close to breaching the distance between his mouth and Taehyung's when they sat a little too close on the couch, or when Taehyung would make him taste a new candy he'd discovered and his eyes would glue to the stains of red on Tae's lips.

But kissing him would be wrong; married people never kissed.

He just had to hold back a little harder, clench his fists a little tighter and remember that Taehyung was his answer if he were on a desert island. He couldn't fuck that up with a kiss, not if they were going to be together forever.

Taehyung stared at Jungkook's thigh muscles for a good five minutes before blinking. They were sitting on a bus, and Jungkook was wearing those jeans, which had Taehyung thinking about a whole lot of things that nearly made them miss their stop.

Jungkook pulled out his earbud and knocked Taehyung's shoulder with his elbow, "We're gonna miss the stop like last time, Tae."

If he remembered correctly, last time had been because of those earrings. It was awful how he could stare at Jungkook all day without realizing if someone gave him the chance.

They thanked the bus driver twice each—the bus had a great set of brakes—and made their way up the street to a clothing store that had pretty much become the sole constituent of both of their wardrobes. The two women working greeted them kindly, mentioned a few new products then left them to their own.

"What do you even wear to a business-casual Scandinavian-themed retirement party," Jungkook huffed, pulling randomly at shirts on the rack, "I mean, you can't do business-casual and Scandinavian-themed in one outfit. It's either I disappoint my boss or I disappoint Mr. Jung, who's retiring."

Taehyung followed him from rack to rack, picking things every once in while that he assumed would fit the bill. What even was business-casual.

"Just grab whatever will make you stand out the least in case you fuck up. Do you know what the wall colour of the building is? We could go full-on camouflage."

"Tae, you aren't helping," Jungkook whined.

They ended up grabbing a camouflage-patterned shirt just in case.

One of the saleswomen helped them lug all the clothes they'd picked into one of the larger change rooms at the back of the store, offering them some glasses of water because everyone and their dog could tell that they were going to be there for a while.

"Try this on first just to get it out of the way," Taehyung said as he handed Jungkook a vibrantly patterned blazer with matching trousers. While Jungkook went through the rounds, Taehyung organized the clothes by colour and degree of credibility on a spare rack. His eyes kept wandering over to a pair of skinny jeans that fit neither of the criteria, but that he'd sneakily grabbed for the sole reason of wanting to see Jungkook wearing them.

There was a bunch of audible squirming on the other side of the curtain before it cut short with a huff, "Uh... I think I'm stuck."

"Do you need help?"

There was a long pause before Jungkook made up his mind, "Only if you don't laugh."

"That's a dumb condition," Tae said as he slipped into the cabin and immediately started to laugh. Jungkook had managed to tangle himself in a silk shirt, one arm stuck above his head, the other poking through the head slot. He had frozen mid shirt tug, leaving his back fully exposed and his head hidden away somewhere in the shirt.

"Stop, I'm scared to rip this, it feels expensive."

Taehyung allowed himself a few seconds of self-indulgence, then helped Jungkook to an upright position.

"Remember when you knocked over that whole bowl of chicken broth at that restaurant that one time?" Taehyung asked as he gently tugged one tangled sleeve off of the arm that seemed in the most uncomfortable position."

"Why are you bringing that up now."

"I don't know, seems relevant."

Taehyung unhooked the other sleeve from where it had gotten caught on Jungkook's watch, then pulled the shirt up and off of him. He laughed at Jungkook's messed up hair, put the shirt back on the hanger, then reached up to fix Jungkook's messed up hair.

It barely even needed to be combed, but Taehyung couldn't take his fingers away as they passed through his hair, down to his nape then back up again.

This was fine, he reasoned; he played in Jungkook's hair all the time, maybe not while he was shirtless in a public change room, but details, details.

You know that feeling when your heart beats a thousand miles a minute only to slow down in a second because your expectations were exaggerated and you freaked out for no reason? That was exactly how Jungkook felt, although the slowing down part hadn't happened yet no matter how much he willed his heart to stop exaggerating.

Taehyung's hand had taken up a steady scratching pace at the back of his head, and all he could do was stare dumbly at him with his hands at his side because he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Had he been staring? Was Tae staring back? Everything was a little fuzzy.

They were always like this, and yet it had to matter there, in the change room, while he was half-dressed and wholly in love.

With one small step forward, Taehyung pressed the cold buttons of his jean jacket against Jungkook's bare chest and made him shiver. Jungkook felt like the touch woke him up from whatever he had fallen into, and, after he blinked his eyes into focus, he found himself looking right into Taehyung's, brown and lovely and full of intent.

"If I kiss you, do you think the world is going to end?" Taehyung asked, flicking his eyes down to Jungkook's lips then back up. "That's definitely a possible outcome, right?"

Jungkook swallowed the lump that was cutting off the oxygen to his brain and felt every bone in his body relax. He'd never actually doubted that Taehyung had feelings for him ever since he figured out his own; it was just the timing, then the years of friendship stacking up, then the regret of never speaking about it, then the acceptance that the world could definitely blow up if they tried for something more.

"I guess we'll never know unless we try," Jungkook's voice had dulled down to a whisper for only them to hear, because if the world did end, no one could blame them.

Taehyung smiled to his ears and pulled Jungkook's head closer, so close that their eyes went crossed and their noses smooshed a bit, and then he titled his head just a tiny bit to the side and let their lips naturally find each other. Jungkook couldn't remember a more natural feeling than kissing Taehyung.

Neither pushed for anything more than just pressing their lips together, knowing fully well that they had time, so much time; they were going to be alone on a desert island forever, for one.

Jungkook pulled away first, blushing all the way to his ears. He leaned in to kiss Taehyung quickly on the temple, then again on the lips. He tried on the remainder of the clothes unnecessarily close to Taehyung, laughing each time the Scandinavian style of a garment stood out just a tad too much, and Taehyung's hand gravitated to his hip whenever he looked at his reflection.

At one point, after who knows how long of being the two of them in the cabin, one of the saleswomen called , "Is everything alright in there?"

Jungkook desperately wanted this woman to know how OK everything truly was.

"He was just a little stuck, but I fixed it!" Taehyung said as Jungkook smiled back at him through the mirror.

Chapter Text

"H-hey, what are you doing?" Jungkook yelped, jolting forward and nearly knocking his glass of water over onto the textbooks splayed out in front of him. Two icy hands circled around under his hoodie from back to front, pressing two balled-up fists against the skin of his stomach and sending annoying shivers up his spine. Taehyung had shoved his hands under his shirt.

“Just warming my hands,” Taehyung answered matter-of-factly, “Your basement is like a freezer.”

“You can’t just —,” Jungkook huffed, leaning as far away as he could, “Stuff them in your own shirt, jeez.”

Try as he might to yank them out, Taehyung wouldn’t budge; if anything he scooted closer behind him, his legs clamping around his waist firmly.

“It’s not the same. And you’re warmer, anyway.”

Taehyung pulled him backwards until their bodies were flush, until he could rest his head on Jungkook’s shoulder without any sliver of space between them, until Jungkook was sure that his ears were as red as they could ever get.

“Just forget I’m here and get back to studying.”

Forget he was there? Jungkook blushed ten times harder because his brain was completely and utterly overthrown by the heat under his shirt that definitely wasn’t just the natural occurrence of skin on skin. It was Taehyung’s hands on his stomach. Forgetting Taehyung was there was like forgetting he had two feet; he had an internal Taehyung radar that never shut off.

He tried one last time to pry away the arms around him, but it was no use. He’d always been the stronger one, yet here he was, feeling completely powerless (and a little too hot).

“You’re so annoying,” Jungkook said through gritted teeth.

Nothing from his notes registered in his brain for the next few minutes, for all he could think about was how to exude as much irritation and indifference as possible and mask whatever it was that was emanating instead— discomfort, shyness? His abs hadn’t unclenched yet, and he knew that sooner or later he was either going to jump halfway across the room or… lean back into the broad chest behind him. Broad. Very Nice, Broad Chest.

With his left elbow, he swiftly pushed Taehyung away with a grunt, albeit a little harder than he’d intended, taking advantage of Tae’s slackened grip.

“Just go turn up the thermostat or something.”

Nothing in the world compared to how much he hated being mean to Taehyung. He thought that somehow it was the way to suppress whatever came bubbling to the surface whenever they touched, or whenever he looked at Taehyung properly, but it was no use; the feelings were there nonetheless.

There was a hushed ‘ow’ from behind him and Jungkook could just picture the wounded look on Taehyung’s face because everyone knew that Taehyung was affectionate and everyone knew that he didn’t quite know what boundaries were. Hell, Jungkook knew so more than anyone; they were best friends.

The lack of words and movement coming from behind him had him spinning around quickly, assessing right away that yes, he’d actually physically hurt Taehyung. He was massaging the spot between his armpit and his chest, a frown set deep in his brow.

Jungkook sucked in a short breath and reached forward immediately.

“Tae… I’m really sorry,” he tried, “I didn’t mean to do that.”

The small grimace on Taehyung’s face when Jungkook touched the spot he’d hit had him tugging away quickly at the material of his friend’s sweater to see if he was enough of a jerk to actually bruise him.

“Nah, it’s alright. My fault for bothering you when you’re studying.”

Taehyung tried for a reassuring smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes like it normally did.

They both looked down at the uncovered skin, almost waiting to see if a bruise would bloom before their eyes. Jungkook bit his lip and placed Tae’s shirt back over his shoulder, unable to drag his hands away completely. Was this what he was becoming? Someone who hurts their best friend for their own sake only to forget about things he shouldn’t be feeling in the first place?

“You weren’t bothering me, really. It’s just…”

It’s just that I can’t act like I used to around you anymore and I hate the feeling of us not being like we used to.

“It’s nothing. I’m just a jerk, that’s it.”

Taehyung frowned at his lie yet didn’t pry any further, choosing instead to turn on the TV, leaving the volume on low and relaxing into the couch.

“You have been a bit of a jerk recently...” There was a lilt in his voice, a sign of a smile, but both boys knew that it held some truth.

A silence resumed between them, this one lacking the pent-up tension in Jungkook’s abdomen and the warmth over his back and stomach. He turned back to his books, one last try at studying for the night. There was a lull in the semester, no exams for the coming week, but there had to be some way for him to forget about Taehyung every once in a while since they practically spent every day together.

Studying never worked anyway.

Jungkook closed his books and piled them on the floor, “Do you think we can finish season two of Haikyuu!! tonight? Jimin loves to be that jerk and spoil season three whenever we hang out.”

Taehyung checked his watch and raised a brow at Jungkook’s textbooks.

“It’s okay, I’m done,” Jungkook added quickly.

“Fine, but only if I can stay over tonight. We have six episodes left which would take us approximately to 1 AM if we don’t take any bathroom breaks.”

Thinking about Taehyung staying the night made Jungkook feel incredibly warm and safe, just like it always had over the years. There was something about Taehyung’s presence that made every night relaxing, free from even the possibility of a restless sleep or bad dreams. No matter how Jungkook felt, it was impossible for him to ever decline Taehyung from staying over, although he practically lived at Jungkook’s. Whenever his parents went out to buy stuff, they always bought things with Taehyung in mind, like a third son.

Jungkook punched him in the arm, “Stop pretending you remember how to do math.”

And so they binge watched the final episodes of season two without taking any breaks, powering through over three hours of TV with the support of Jungkook’s mom who came down at 11 to refill glasses of water and bring them blankets before she wished them good night. She kissed both of them on the head and promised Taehyung that she would help him colour his hair on the weekend.

They ended up finishing closer to 2, and Jungkook had to coax a very sleepy Taehyung up from the couch by taking all the blankets with him as he hurried upstairs, luring an unwilling but now cold Tae behind him. He made Taehyung shower first, knowing very well that if he were to go first, he would find Taehyung fast asleep on his bed, still in his clothes.

“Why can’t I just be smelly for this one night,” he whined, and Jungkook shushed him and closed the bathroom door on his frowning face.

By the time both were in and out of the shower, the amount of hours they had left to sleep before class the next morning at 10 was disheartening. Jungkook asked Taehyung why they always thought it a good idea to do things like that as he quickly towel-dried his hair, and Taehyung mumbled something incomprehensible into the pillow, quickly falling asleep under the pile of blankets. From where Jungkook stood watching him, the sight of a warm bed occupied on one side by Taehyung, hair damp and feet poking out at the bottom of the duvet, seemed almost too inviting. He passed the towel over his head a little harder, forced himself to clear his mind and then slipped under the covers, switching off the bedside light at the same time.

Jungkook lay on his stomach, facing away from Taehyung because he didn’t need a visual reminder of how soft he looked when he slept. When Taehyung’s hand came up to play with the short hairs at the nape of his neck, Jungkook didn’t push him away or tell him to stop. He simply closed his eyes, because physical contact was Taehyung’s comfort same as physical presence was for Jungkook.