Chapter Text
“We’re using each other, devouring each other for goals. It’s a twisted relationship, but it’s the healthiest thing for the two of us.”
“This moment on, you’re a rival I have to destroy.”
Besides Isagi’s own phenomenal goal, these were the only two other things Isagi remembered after the U-20 match. Did he know why Rin’s words stuck in his mind? Not really. A part of him was happy that Rin finally saw him as an equal, a rival. To know the person he had looked up to has acknowledged him made him proud of himself. The other part, however, had him wondering if those words only applied in soccer and on the field.
Isagi knew that his relationship with Rin might have started through soccer, but it’s not built around soccer. When it wasn’t about soccer, he and Rin shared a push-and-pull relationship. Never really knowing what the other wants, but they use each other to reach their own respective goals that have to do with personal growth.
Isagi uses Rin as someone who brings him assurance and comfort. Though Rin is cold, he was the only one who truly understood Isagi as if they were two hearts beating as one. Isagi finds comfort in Rin’s acknowledgement for him, even if it had nothing to do with soccer.
Rin, on the other hand, uses Isagi as a coping mechanism. Ever since his fight with his brother, Rin had always felt like he was missing his other half. He felt empty, he felt lonely. And Isagi was his best candidate for replacing what his brother took from him. He called Isagi a rival because he wanted Isagi to be next to him, and maybe destroying him would make Rin feel whole again.
All the late night talks Isagi had shared with Rin ever since teaming up with him to play the world's Top 5, sneaking out of their room to talk to each other in the cafeteria when everyone else is asleep each night, definitely made their relationship flourish in an odd direction. Sometimes, the two don’t even talk to each other. They just sit next to each other in silence, somehow finding comfort in each other's presence. But when they do talk, the other listens, and if either one is on the brink of mentally collapsing, they’d just hold the other's hand as a sign of comfort, assurance and a silent message that tells the other that they’re not alone. They hold onto each other's hand until they feel at ease and eventually return to their room.
And god damn it, Isagi started to want and need Rin more and more without realizing. Those silent yet intimate moments were what pulled Isagi through this Blue Lock hell, and he hated it. He hated how that cold piece of shit was the person who brought him comfort during difficult times. He hated how warm Rin’s hand is when he holds his hand while looking away. He hated how Rin was gentle with him in his own way. He hated how he wanted to be embraced by Rin…and he still does.
And now he’s scared. After his interaction with Rin in the locker room. Because Rin looked angry.
Really angry.
God forbid a man from celebrating his victory without a worry in his mind. But fuck it, he just beat the U-20, so he pushed the thought away and went to celebrate with his friends for the rest of the night.
But now that he’s lying on his bed with everyone sound asleep next to him, fear crept back in the silence. He couldn’t sleep, not when he knows that Rin was still angry at him. Out of frustration and fear, Isagi slowly sat up from his bed, and secretly left his room. To the place Rin goes to when he needs to clear his head.
The empty cafeteria.
Isagi caught himself sighing a soft breath of relief when he saw Rin sitting alone in the cafeteria. He wanted to confront Rin, but he stopped himself. Fear held him back, he didn’t know what to say to Rin nor did he know how to approach him. So he just stared at Rin from afar, contemplating.
“...How long are you going to stare at me for?”
Rin’s pissed voice made Isagi flinch.
“Sorry.”
Isagi took that as a sign for him to talk to Rin. He slowly approached him and sat down next to him.
“If you think I’ll take back what I said in the locker room earlier, I won’t.” Rin said, still unwilling to make eye contact with Isagi.
“I know you won’t. Nor am I asking you to.” Isagi sighs softly, unconsciously fidgeting with his fingers. “I didn’t come out here tonight for you. At least not entirely.”
Rin clicks his tongue in annoyance, “Yeah right. You scored your sweet goal by stealing my goal because luck was on your side, became the headliner, heck you even had my brother's approval. The fuck are you supposed to be upset about?”
“I’m scared.” Isagi admits. “You’re right. I scored my sweet goal because I mastered the concept of luck, became the headliner, got your approval to be your rival. But I wasn't as happy as I expected myself to be, and I hate that you’re the reason why.”
“Hah?!” Rin whips his head towards Isagi. “Don’t tell me you’re still on that “this goal belongs to the two of us” bullshit, you know that-”
“I’m fucking scared that you’ll hate me, I don’t want you to leave me and replace me with some other guy!” Isagi grabbed Rin’s hand tightly, his voice trembled, he looked desperate, he was being fucking pathetic, and he knows.
And as if something snapped, Rin roughly grabbed his shirt and out of frustration, kissed Isagi.
“Shut up.”
Isagi, completely overwhelmed, immediately sprang up the moment Rin pulled away, knocking over the chair he sat on. He took a few steps back…and ran.
And Rin, who saw Isagi run back to his room like his life depended on it, cursed at himself, sighing heavily as he put the chair back up.
“...scared that I’ll leave and replace you my ass. You literally just ran away from me.”