Work Text:
The lights are blinding, crowd disappearing into the darkness below. His voice rings through the speakers, starting the song, following over the lyrics we’ve been spending all our time practicing. Separately, because for some reason he wont look at me anymore.
He’s quiet, voice rough with exhaustion from a restless night, so unlike his usual loud and rebellious self.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, Till.
Sorry i came too late.
I watch him, and wonder who he thinks of when he sings these words of sorrow and longing.
Mizi? He would.
I’d seen the way he’d stare from afar, how he would do anything to protect her, despite her ignorance towards everything. Towards Sua.
I guess her liveliness was enough for him. The way she could laugh like we’d all be okay. Like we’d all make it out in the end.
He’s done now, and its my part. So i sing, like i have dozens of times before, hitting the notes with practiced precision, every word careful, delivering my heart, everything i never dared to say, even if he doesn’t listen. Even if he never will.
The rain starts pouring, artificial thunder roaring in the background of our performance. He sings through the storm, and i follow, like i always have. Then he stops, goes quiet, lets his absence make a hole in the middle of our song, like he’s given up on winning. Given up on living…
I wont let him. I push my mic away, letting it fall to the ground as i walk towards to him. I grab his face, his green eyes widening as they meet mine, I don’t let him register, dont let him protest, slipping my hand to the back of his neck, lips crashing against his.
If this is my last goodbye, i want to at least let it be on my terms.
He pushes me away, again and again, but i make sure to stay, make sure to let them know that i’m the one messing up their show. So I wrap my hands around his neck, watching the confusion and fear in his eyes as i tighten my fingers around his throat.
I kiss him again, my final gesture of affection, opening my eyes to peak at the final score. 89/70.
I did it.
So i pull away, hands still firm on his neck, holding him in front of me, watching as acceptance spreads across his face, holding him tight as i make sure he gets to hate me in these final moments, make sure he doesn’t blame himself for living.
The first shot sounds, mistakable for thunder, but i feel the pain of flesh being ripped through, the warm blood that starts to slowly flood out of me. And then the second, my shoulder. I tighten my grip, barely holding on through the pain, but i manage, because i have to.
Then, I cough, an unmistakable metallic taste on my tongue, and i know, this is it. I’m scared, at first, of this cold feeling in my body, but i embrace it, knowing that it’s all for him, so that he gets to survive instead of me. So i let go, falling to the ground with a smile on my face because i know i did the right thing.
Slowly the heat leaves my body.
Slowly the darkness lulls over my vision.
Slowly my heart stops beating.
And finally Till is looking at me, and nothing but.