Chapter Text
From the very first moment that Jan knew that Jingjing was entering GMMTV, she found her to be gorgeous, it was known even in the internet that Jan’s famous crush was Karina, and this woman was just so similar to the idol. When the now blonde saw her, she immediately wanted to work with her, get to know her. Though that changed when she first saw her in person. The brunette was scary, she always looked so serious, like she would bite the head off anyone that came close to talk to her. So even if she was gorgeous, Jan was very scared to interact with her and avoided doing it until the set of Hide and Sis. It was in this show that she got to know Jing, and she realized that she wasn’t a serious person at all, well she was very serious about her work and she was very hardworking, but she could also be such a goofy person that Jan was just laughing with her almost every second they were together and not filming a scene.
It was during this time that her crush really started forming, knowing that this woman was not only her type physically, but also personality wise? She was doomed from the start. After the filming ended, Jan committed what could be the best or worst decision of her life, she still isn’t so sure which, but it definitely changed a lot of things. She was talking with her manager and some people on her team when they asked the question that always came back to her. If she did a GL, who would she want it to be with? And honestly, she got why they always asked, GLs were attracting a lot of attention in the company, and Jan being the established actress that she was, could benefit from doing one. But she just never really wanted to, it was a little scary, at the end of the day it was sort of an arranged marriage, most of the pairs that did a GL, or BL for that matter, often did multiple more after, and they had to do constant fan service, make every fan doubt if they were or not dating, make them wish that they were. It was such a big compromise that everyone had to think it through. And that is exactly what Jan didn’t do at that precise moment. Think it through. After hearing the question Jingjing smile appeared in her mind, and she answered without a second thought. “I guess Jingjing would be alright”. Her manager seemed to light up at that, but Jan was too busy blushing and regretting saying that at loud to think much of it.
A few days later she got a message from Jingjing, which wasn’t rare, they had kept in touch after finishing the series, their personalities were a good match, leading them to quickly become friends, and if you were wondering, no that did no good for Jan’s crush, but it was bound to go away with time. Back to the message, went to check it and was left really confused.
Jingjing: P’Jan, I feel like a highschooler that was just confessed to.
Huh? Jan hadn’t told anyone about her crush so she couldn’t be talking about her, could she? Maybe she figured it out? But how? Just as a million questions entered Jan’s head, another message appeared on her phone, this time from her manager.
Manager: I already told Jingjing!
What the fuck did she tell her?
Jan: What did you say?
Manager: how you want to do a GL with her.
Oh no. That’s not good. Jingjing wasn’t supposed to know that, no one was supposed to know that, how is she going to look at her in the face after this? At least Jingjing still didn’t know about her crush like she originally thought. She switched to Jing’s chat.
Jan: Oh my god, I’m so sorry I didn’t know they were going to tell you.
Jing: So, is it true? You want to do a GL with me?
Jan: Well yeah, I feel comfortable when I’m around you, and we get along pretty well right?
Jan: That’s why, when I got asked if I had someone in mind, I thought of you, hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, it’s not like we are going to just because I said it. But I’m sorry anyways.
Jing: No need to be sorry silly. It actually made me really happy. I also feel very comfortable with you, and I think I wouldn’t mind doing a GL if it is with you too.
Oh, that was not good for her crush. Even if it did make her happy to hear that.
Jing: Though I don’t think our age difference is good for a show like that, they would call you a cradle robber P’Jan.
Jan: Excuse me? We are only 2 years apart????
Jing: Well yeah but I look so much younger than you, people could be confused.
And just like that the conversation moved on to a petty fight, and it was almost forgotten until Muteluv.
For this series it was a coincidence that Jan got to act with Jingjing, but she was happy anyway, since it was a miniseries, the shooting wasn’t very long, and the story was actually really funny, Jan got to act like a silly med student that had awful luck, and it was very entertaining for her. The part that made her a little nervous was having Jing as a love interest, but they talked about it and there weren’t any weird feelings between them, they both agreed that it was their job and they were friends, meaning there shouldn’t be any problem, aside from Jan’s crush but Jing didn’t know that. Getting to kiss her for the first time was weird. She would love to say that it was perfect, but it wasn’t, she was so nervous, and she kept reminding herself that they were filming, overthinking every move, every touch, she just didn’t even process the feel of Jing’s lips against hers. And it was like that for the remainder of the shooting, even if there were very few intimate scenes. The moment it really hit her was promoting, she had to make some fan service, so she just let some of her most inner thoughts fly free. “It helps she’s totally my type” She always got so nervous saying these things, and the worst part about feeling nervous was that Jing had discovered her secret. When she was shy her ears turned absolutely red. Naturally, the other woman took every opportunity to check her ears after she said things like that, and she also checked after she said flirty or possessive thing, like when she said “She’s mine” to ___. Jan loved that, the possessive tone, Jing saying she was hers, damn that sounded nice, but it made her shy how much she liked the sound of that, causing her to blush, and Jing noticed like always.
When Jan got chosen to play Lal a few months later, the production team was talking with her about the woman auditioning for Wine. But when Jan read the list of actresses auditioning, she didn’t feel like any of them were a good match for her. They were great actresses, she just didn’t know them very well, and she remembered Jing, how after Muteluv they just grew even closer than before, that having her as a love interest in a series wasn’t weird or anything like that. So even if Wine’s character was supposed to be a very petite woman, she said to the production if they could consider Jing as an option for the part. And since they trusted Jan’s opinion, they called her manager and Jing was added to the audition. And in the end, she was the chosen one for the part, and Jan got the privilege of telling her that. She called her to give her the news.
Jan: “Hey, are you busy right now?”
Jing: “No, I was just scrolling through my phone, what’s up?”
Jan: “I was just wondering if you could meet me in the office to discuss some numbers, if that’s something you wouldn’t mind doing Khun Wine”
Jing: You are joking?! I got the part?”
Jan: Yeah, you got the part, congratulations Jingjing.
Jing: Oh my god!! I can’t believe it
After that they kept talking about the series, and how they should meet to discuss everything in detail.
But I have rambled on too long about their beggnining, how about we jump to the present now?
(I’m tipsy while writing this so there may be more mistakes than usual, though I hope the usual is no mistakes, I don’t beta read lol, just correct what Word tells me is wrong)
They were halfway with the enemies with benefits shooting, and let’s just say Jan wasn’t particularly looking forward to their next scene. Wine had just tried to go back to her own apartment to then realize that it wasn’t ready, so she would have to keep living with Lal. And because the two characters were always using the benefits part of their agreement, Jan had a love scene next, and a big one at that. The director had explained that for this scene, they would be kissing from the start, entering the apartment. Then she would have to push Jing against the table and keep kissing her. Take her top off, kiss her neck a little and just keep doing that until the other woman stopped her to tell her to go to bed. So not the worst, but definitely not the best for Jan. She was zoned out while thinking about all she had to do when she felt two arms circling her from behind.
“What are you thinking about so serious? Getting ready to undress me?” Jing teased the woman that was in her arms.
Jan’s first instinct was to jump out of her arms, but then Jing would think she made her uncomfortable and that’s not it, she’s just shy. They are very clingy with each other, it feels natural to have the other near, hugging like this is not weird for them. Is the fact that they have a love scene coming up that makes Jan nervous, well that and the other woman teasing her.
“Jingjing!” She complained to the other woman, not knowing what else to say without giving herself away.
Jing laughed at her reaction, pulling the blonde closer in the process. “You are so fun to tease Phi’” She rested her head in the blonde’s shoulder. “I was talking with the director, and we agreed that you shouldn’t just kiss my neck, it would be more natural that you made a path from my lips to the edge if my bra if that’s something you’re comfortable doing?” She asked like they were talking about the weather.
Jan could not think. No thoughts inside that little head, the only thing that she could hear was “to the edge of my bra” in repeat.
“Phi, if that’s not something you want to do, we can leave it like it is” She assured her.
Oh, but that was not the problem, Jan would love to do that, thank you very much, she was just in trance. A trance that was only broken by the feeling of Jing slowly letting go of her, probably thinking she made things awkward, so before she could, Jan trapped her arms so she would still be hugging her and responded. “Sorry I was just visualizing it, and I agree it would look better, that’s a great idea” She said, trying to calm the other woman. She knew Jing was quick to think she had crossed some boundary of Jan, even though she never did, the older woman was often rendered speechless around her, so in the end that’s what she thought happened.
“I’m glad you think so, its so much fun to add things to these scenes, I’m glad I get to do this with you, I don’t know if I would be as comfortable with anyone else” Jing responded happily.
“Yeah, me too” Jan responded before settling more against Jing’s chest and closing her eyes, enjoying the calm moment before becoming the nervous mess she always was when filming kiss scenes with Jing.
They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the others warmth, but then they got called by the makeup team for a retouch, so regretfully they had to split up until the start of the scene. And that was where they were now. The male crew had left the scene to let them be comfortable. Jan and Jing outside the door of the room, alone since they were only filming the entering through the other side.
“Are you ready Phi?” Jing asked the other woman. Jan could only nod in response. Jing clearly not happy with that answer came closer to the blonde, grabbing her face in her hands so she could see her eyes, forcing Jan to make eye contact. “Are you sure? We can take a few more minutes if you would like?” She asked, worried about the older woman.
“Yeah I’m okay, no need to worry” She answered, noticing that it was true, even if she was nervous, with Jing cradling her face so softly, she felt safe.
“Well we still have some time before they tell us to go in, they were still preparing the set when we left.” At this Jan only agreed with a soft hum. Then noticed that Jing eyes had drifted to her lips and seemed to stay there for a while. Jan was growing anxious at why the other woman was looking so focused at her lips, she was about to ask when Jing beat her to it. “I think they left our lipstick a little too neat don’t you think? We were supposed to have been kissing for a while now no? After they enter the elevator probably. So it doesn’t make sense for our lipstick to be so neat.” She said, and Jan actually agreed.
“Mmm I hadn’t thought of that, we could talk to the makeup team, see if they can do something about that?” She proposed, but the way Jing’s brow furrowed she didn’t seem to agree.
“No” She responded quickly, raising her eyes to look at Jan’s. “They couldn’t make it look real”
“So what do you propose?” Jan asked, hoping it wasn’t what she thought. But the way Jing’s hands stopped holding her face to now being in the back of her neck, she didn’t feel too optimistic. She felt Jing coming closer to her, now looking at her lips once again, she stopped only when their noses where about to touch. Jan couldn’t move, it was like all her muscles had stopped working, she could only watch, not knowing if she preferred Jing to finish crossing the gap, or for her to say something completely different. Her heart felt like it was going at a million miles per hour, she was even having trouble breathing. Even if she wanted nothing more than a kiss from Jing, she knew that the other woman was thinking about the best thing for the scene, she was very detail oriented for this type of scene. Jing’s eyes were now looking directly at her, from this distance, Jan could see clearly every detail in her eyes, she could feel herself getting lost on them, in the little mole that was in the left one, when she felt Jings hand tightening bringing her a little closer.
“I think a real kiss would make it more accurate, don’t you think Phi?” She whispered, altering between looking at the blonde’s eyes and lips while talking. And look, Jan was strong, she always fought to stay calm, to think things through before doing anything she might regret. But this was just too much. So, she did the only thing her mind could think of. She brought her arms around Jing’s waist, bringing their bodies flushed against each other. And started closing the little gap that was left between them. Their lips were about to touch when someone opened the door. They put some distance between each other but did not drop their arms from where they were holding the other.
“We are almost ready, sorry for the wait, they are finishing setting up a camera but in about 3 minutes you should hear the buzz, when you do it mean we are rolling and you can enter whenever. They already told you where the camera is going to be right? So just do the scene as planned.” The employee finished saying before leaving.
“Well I guess I’m back to my original question, are you rea-“ Jing started saying before being cut off by Jan’s lips on her. The blonde had already made her mind on kissing Jing, and to hell anything else. The brunette was surprised by this but was quick to respond, closing her eyes and kissing Jan back. Her arms tightened around the woman’s neck at the same Jan’s tightened in her waist.
Jan loves kissing Jing, her lips seem to fit hers perfectly, and its like they just understand each other completely, she knows what the brunette is going to do, and she can always match it perfectly. Jing’s thumb came to caress her face, before putting some pressure on her jaw. Jan understood immediately and opened more her mouth so she could slide her tongue in, the blonde felt herself getting more and more lost in the kiss, the only thing in her mind being the other woman. She started lifting her arms up, caressing the taller woman’s back, which elicited the quietest sound from Jing. Jan needed to hear that again, and she was determined to do just that when she heard the buzz. Jan reluctantly broke the kiss.
Jing opened her eyes, staring directly at Jan’s lips. “They definitely look more realistic now.” She brought her hand close to her lips and swiped her thumb under them, fixing a little smear that was too pronounced. “We should go in before they come looking for us” She said, sounding as dazed as Jan felt.
“Yeah, we should.” She started walking towards the door, pushing Jing with her.
Jan took one of her hands away from Jing and reached for the door. Opening it just before rejoining their lips and continuing kissing like they hadn’t stopped for a second. With Jing’s hands grabbing her face, and her hands circling the woman’s waist, they entered the room, separating to look at each other after the door closed for a second. It was in this moment that Jan had to remind herself she was no longer Janhae, now she was Lallalin, and Jing was Wine, they had a script to follow and so she did. They started kissing again while Wine’s hands drifted lower caressing Lal’s arm before separating to drop her purse. She broke the kiss to lift her shirt off, and even if that wasn’t in the script Jan didn’t notice, because in that moment it felt like such a Wine thing to do, she just smiled, waited for her to finish, and continued kissing her like nothing happened. She continued pushing Wine until her legs hit the table, both their hands using the furniture as support while they kept kissing. Wine tilted her head back, extending her neck, which Jan took as her cue to trace a path of kisses from her lips down to her chest, and back to her lips. At which the taller woman made a pleased sound.
In that moment the script disappeared from the blond’s mind. She started kissing down again, this time going farther down where Jing’s bra was, dropping to her knees, kissing every piece of skin on her path, enjoying the warmth, feeling intoxicated by Wine’s smell. The brunette just moved Lal’s hair out of the way, her body responding to the soft kisses Jan was giving her. In this moment the blonde looked up, making eye contact with Jing, she remembered the script, appreciating how the other woman just went with it, she raised up from her knees, and continued kissing Jing from there, resting her hands in the brunette’s legs and caressing the skin there. She slowly raised her left hand, slipping her hand under the younger woman’s skirt. That’s when her hand was grabbed, the kisses stopped.
“Is something wrong?” Lal asked.
“Can we go to the bed? My back hurts” Wine asked feeling little shy. Lal responded by smiling softly, relieved that she hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Awww” She comforted the taller woman with a smile and a sweet voice, you would think they were talking and doing something completely innocent. “Come on, let’s do it in the bed.” She finished with a little peck on the lips. Before taking Jing with her and out of the camera shot.
“And cut! Excellent work ladies, I loved the additions you made, they make the scene feel more real.” The woman in charge complimented them, not knowing that the changes were made by a downbad Jan that forgot the script. “We need to film it again with the other camera angle, so if you can go back outside and wait for the buzz it would be perfect.”
“Yeah sure” Jing answered for both of them. So they went back through the door.
As soon as the door closed, Jan started talking. “I’m so sorry Jingjing, I shouldn’t have done that without talking to you first”
“It’s okay Phi, it made the scene so much better. And it was time you added something to these scenes, you are always giving ideas in all the other scenes, but never the love ones.” She assured her, even if it didn’t completely ease up Jan it did help to hear the other woman being calm about it. At least she looked calm before seeming to remember something. “Phi! Your knees, you didn’t hurt yourself, did you?” She asked worried while looking down.
“No, it’s okay it didn’t hurt at all” And even if it did, she wouldn’t care, she would be on her knees for this woman for as long as she could. “I’m glad I didn’t make you uncomfortable, but if we are in a scene and I make anything you don’t like don’t hesitate to stop me, okay?” She asked, the last thing she did was make the other woman feel bad, she lo- liked her too much to do that.
“Yeah, I’ll do that Phi, as long as you promise the same okay?” Jing responded, looking directly at her eyes.
“Yeah, I promise” Jan responded confidently, knowing nothing the brunette did could ever make her feel uncomfortable. She was about to keep talking when the buzzer sound filled the hallway. So they just looked at each other and started the scene once again.