Work Text:
Dazai walked up to the front of the warehouse, bending down to adjust a camera. His fingers brushed over the lens as he thoroughly cleaned it, blowing off the front to make sure there wasn't any dirt left. He felt a smack around the back of his head, making him go dizzy.
“Mind hurrying up, Shitty Dazai??? It doesn't take that long to clean a camera!”
Dazai looked behind him to see a short ginger boy, who he could easily compare to a dog. Mostly a chihuahua. God, Chuuya was annoying to work with! Even though he /WAS/ his boyfriend, he couldn't help but feel regret for his life choices involving Chuuya sometimes.
“Well CHEWYA, if you MUST KNOW, I'm making sure the camera is clean enough for our recording! You can't expect us to livestream this to the entire world with a blurry camera!”
“I know THAT! IM NOT STUPID, BANDAGED FREAK!”
Dazai made an overdramatic pouting face, standing up and kicking Chuuya in the shin. He made his way over to the chair they had the jean covered man sitting down in. Chuuya followed, obviously, like the dog he is.
Best Jeanist attempted to squirm in the chair, yet failing to loosen the restraints in any way. This resulted in Chuuya kicking the mans hands, making Best Jeanist flinch. Dazai cleared his throat, eyeing Chuuya, then the blond man in the badly structured wooden chair.
“Yknow.. Such a shame you... ʼHeroesʼ had to come investigate Yokohama. Maybe this wouldn't have happened!” Chuuya scoffed, Glaring back at the overly bandaged man, who was sadly taller than him.
“Start it, Dazai.”
He nodded, skipping over to the camera. Dazaiʼs cape fell off his shoulders whilst doing so, how childish.
Eventually, Dazai bended down to start the recording.
“HELLO PEOPLE OF THE WORLD!!!!” Dazai proudly announced, making horrible attempts at being ʼCuteʼ with his hands. He cleared his throat, continuing. “As you can see, I'm here with the Slug! And this.. Pro hero! From Musutafu!”
Dazai cleared his throat, stepping back from the camera and towards the tied up Pro hero. “Today, me and my companion will show you what happens when heroes try to invade Yokohama!” Dazai smiled, very eerily. He could see the chat starting to get more active with messages like:
“Why is Best Jeanist tied up??!”
“What's going on???!!!”
“Is this fake?”
The answer? There was none. Dazai + Chuuya didn't give any response. Then, Chuuya slid his hand into his pocket, pulling out a sharp knife. Dazai looked up at the camera. “For every Thousand likes, a new limb goes missing off our fellow Hero!”
Dazai smiled, tilting his head to the side. Chuuya grabbed a dart from behind him, flinging it at the bandaged mans head, failing in hitting him.
“What the hell??”
“This has to be fake!”
“Are these guys insane??!!”
Were the most sent messages in the chat. Everybody thought it was fake! So, in the first few minutes, the live hit a thousand likes.
Chuuya went round to the armrest where Best Jeanistʼs hand was resting, and slowly, positioned the blade above his fingers.
“He isn't actually going to do it, right??”
“WTF!!!”
Chuuya then proceeded to start sawing the blade back and forth, pushing the blade down harder. Blood could be seen leaking from the lines of where the top of his fingers used to be.
Best Jeanistʼs eyes widened, tears starting to form out of the pain he currently had in his hand.
After 30 seconds, the blade hit wood. Best Jeanistʼs fingers came clean off. Chuuyaʼs face stayed the same, Dazai smiled. Terrifyingly.
Minute after minute, the amount of likes only went up. Resulting in more physical torture and abuse. Finally, it came to a point where barely ANY limbs were left on the poor man. Dazai then skipped up infront of the camera, wiping a splosh of blood onto it.
“CHEW—YA!! COME HERE!!”
“SHUT UP, MACKEREL!”
Nonetheless, Chuuya still made his way over.
When Chuuya was infront of the camera, he pulled out a dart from his pocket.
“For our final moment, Chuuya will end this failure of a hero!”
Chuuya rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed by Dazaiʼs childish attitude. He lined the dart up in between 2 fingers, looking back at the camera.
“Take this as a reminder of what happens to those who step foot into Yokohama.” Chuuya coldly stated, looking back at the bleeding man.
Crunch.
Chuuya let go of the dart, flinging it with somehow such precision, that it landed straight through the heroes eye.
With that, the stream randomly cut off. Maybe it was Dazai, maybe it was the internet, who knows?
/TIMESKIP./
Dazai had finished planting the bomb, setting the timer to (00:45) seconds. “CHUUYA! Let's go! We don't wanna be in here when this bomb goes off.”
“No SHIT. Im not STUPID!!”
Chuuya exclaimed, burying his hands into his pockets. He walked out of the factory door with slight haste, Dazai following behind him.
Dazai plucked Chuuyaʼs phone out of his pocket whilst he wasn't paying attention, easily, Dazai got the advantage to due to his height.
“HEY! SHITTY DAZAI!! GIVE THAT BACK! I FELT THAT!”
“Owhh... Cmon, Chew Chew! One picture..?”
Chuuya started shaking out of anger, but he finally agreed. Then, Dazai grabbed chuuya by his cheeks with one bandaged hand, pulling him into a kiss.
Chuuyaʼs hands found their way to Dazaiʼs chest, fisting his palms against him as he tried to stand taller to keep the kiss going. Dazai clicked the circle icon, taking the picture as the bomb inside the warehouse exploded.
What a day, with Chuuya and Dazai.