Chapter Text
As the elevator plummeted, V felt the sentinels’ teeth rip into her face and their jaws crush her head. And yet, even as her neck snapped when her mangled head was torn off of her shoulders, she felt oddly at peace. As if she could genuinely relax, a sensation that had been completely alien to her since her time at the Elliot Manor. And even then, it was a rare feeling. She could only recall a handful of moments when she’d felt like this. And in every last one, she was alone with N.
God, what she’d give to relive any one of those moments. Sneaking out of the manor at night to play in the rain. Gazing at the moon as well as whatever few stars they could see. Dancing in the dimly lit hallway when they should’ve been sleeping. Spending hours sitting by each other’s sides in the library, never saying a word, just enjoying each other’s company as they lost themselves in whatever book lay in front of their faces.
Considering how shitty life at the manor was in between those instances of serenity, it really was ironic how badly V wished to be able to go back to those times. Especially since she knew how they ended. But as stressful and demanding as life at the manor could be, it still had a degree of consistency to it. And she still got to have those moments with N. Cruel as the manor was, at least it wasn’t Copper 9. Looking back on her life since the gala massacre, it almost didn’t seem real. It really did feel like one big nightmare, a surreal dream. A dream that, just maybe, she could finally wake up from.
Living with the Elliots, V had heard them talk about some afterlife, in this place called Heaven. She often wondered what that place would be like, but she never really caught any descriptive details from Tessa or her parents. It didn’t really matter to her, Louisa had made it very clear that such commodities as drones did not belong in a place like Heaven. But now she couldn’t help but think of what a drone Heaven would be like. The way V imagined it, it’d probably be pretty similar to how Earth used to be. Back when you could see a clear, starry night sky, and back when all sorts of strange and wonderful animals shared the planet with humans.
V thought about what it would be like to see N in this drone Heaven. ‘N would love a place like that. He deserves a place like that. Even if I’m not there with him.’
And somehow, that felt OK.
V knew deep down that neither of them were realistically going to end up in Drone Heaven, or anywhere like that. Her consciousness would probably be transferred to a backup body any minute now, and the cycle would continue. The dream would go on eternally. Maybe that was the Hell she deserved. Perhaps Cyn would be her administrator once more. Maybe the backup wouldn’t have her memories. Maybe that would be a good thing. As much as those memories made her who she was, she often wished she didn’t have them. In fact, that’s the main reason why she wanted to forget. Now that N knew what those memories had done to her, V was sure he’d want her to be free of them as well. Right? Sure, forgetting about what happened wouldn’t make the past any different, but it’d be so much easier to live in the present. And surely he’d love to have the old V back. Unless he’d actually come to care about her all over again. That might just be the cruelest thing of all. In spite of everything she’d done, the role of the ruthless killer she’d fallen into, the thing she’d become, he could still care? He could see the person beneath it all? He could… mourn her?
How could he?
In spite of these thoughts rapidly flying through V’s mind, she remained in an ethereal, serene state. The pain of her body being mutilated was irrelevant. Any torment she experienced was surely earned. Whatever happened to her happened, so long as N got to be all right. As her limbs were ripped from their joints, he was able to escape with Uzi at his side. Recently, V had come to respect both of them a great deal more. That was why she felt so strangely comfortable leaving them behind, even knowing the sorts of dangers that lay ahead of them. Now the scraps that would remain of her body would have bought them enough time to stay safe and warm. And her choice, her essence, would always remain at their sides, inspiring them to keep pushing until the very end. If that’s what it came down to, V couldn’t really ask for anything more. For those two, she was ready to die. To be set free.
And then she opened her eyes.
V was half-expecting to be in another landing pod, waiting for the horrifyingly subtle sensation that would come if she forgot who she was. But instead, she was still in that same hallway. Her head had regenerated. And she was still surrounded by sentinels. One had her chest pinned down, and her limbs were all missing. Oil splatters decorated the floor around all four sockets. Before long, V’s legs started to regenerate, which caused the sentinels to start chirping. As soon as they grew back, several sentinels clamped their jaws around each leg and tore them off of V’s body. They proceeded to fight amongst themselves to see who would eat their prey’s severed limbs. V figured the sentinels weren’t exactly fed regularly, so they’d developed a system to get as much food as possible from each drone they captured. Maybe that was why they only seemed to go after her head to take her down and why her core was still intact. As her arms regenerated and were then unceremoniously swallowed, V noticed that her oil reserves were getting quite low. And sure enough, she could feel her body start to get uncomfortably hot.
In this dire situation, everything she’d contemplated while her head was regrowing was sinking in. V realized that those brief moments of peace were all she was going to get. Once those sentinels were done using her as a food generator, they’d destroy the rest of her body, or just leave her to slowly melt. Or maybe they’d bootloop her and she’d be added to the pile of Disassembly Drones at the lab’s entrance. The very concept of being just another chew toy for these things disgusted V, but she might be willing to accept it if that would be the end of her. If she were to be buried with bones, those of drones who had suffered like her but who she’d never met, and be left to rest for eternity, V really wouldn’t mind. But she knew that wouldn’t be where it ended. Even if it was, while she had ensured the survival of her friends, they were still in danger. It was true that she trusted Uzi and N to keep each other safe, but that was no reason for her to just give up. And Serial Designation V was not one to lay down and die while her friends were in the company of Cyn. After all, she knew they would be holding out hope that she would keep fighting until the bitter end.
In fact, that’s what they’d trust her to do.
Eyes closed, V softly smiled as she thought, ‘I… really can’t end this dream.’