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Leo was dead.
Oh how Jason missed him, craved for him. He missed his best friend.
Calling him that felt so wrong because, Leo wasn't just a friend to him. Piper was just a friend, Leo was so much more than that. Leo was beautiful in a way that Jason couldn’t describe. Beautiful like a sunset on a day at the beach, the reflection bouncing off of the waves. Leo was a drug, and Jason was hooked.
When that explosion went off, Jason felt a piece of himself go along with it, and he knew he wouldn't be whole again. Leo had left him and Jason would be alone. His purpose was gone and all that remained was an aching emptiness.
Anytime Jason was able to get out of his bed, he spent his time in Bunker 9, sitting on the cold, cement floor. The place used to be so warm, so full of life. Now, it was like a bomb had gone off, killing everyone but sparing the machinery.
On the days he couldn't muster the energy to get out of bed, Piper stayed with him, as they shared Jason's cabin, due to both of them not wanting each other to be alone. They’d mainly talk about Leo, and their favourite memories with him, as if it could bring him back in a way, ensuring his memory wouldn't die with him.
Jason's favourite memory of Leo, funnily enough, was a memory where Leo wasn't even awake.
He had been walking around the Argo II late at night, nightmares keeping from resting, as always. It was natural as a demigod.
Off handedly, he had entered the engine room to check on Leo, he always had a habit of working far too late for comfort. The room was boiling hot, and the engine was running as smooth as always. Leo spent most of his day here so it made sense that the engine was pretty much always working as expected apart from a few mishaps. For a second, Jason didn't think Leo was here, until he saw him.
Curled up in the fetal position, in the far right corner of the room, a few millimetres away from the engine, lay Leo, his sweat soaked, curly brown hair plastered against his face. He seemed to be fast asleep, his (far too lean in Jason's opinion) chest rising and falling with every breath.
Jason knelt down next to him, turning his head to see his friend's expression on his relaxed face. It was unusual for him. Jason always noticed how on edge Leo looked. Now, as a demigod, that was expected, normal even. Eidolons and Venti trying to murder you every now and then was sure to make someone on edge. But, this was, different. Even a few months ago, on that bus, Leo had seemed tense. Always fidgeting, jumping at sudden movements, flinching all the time. But, right now, he looked relaxed, his muscles weren’t tensed, for once he didn’t look like he was about to run. He seemed so, safe.
Shaking his head, he stood and turned to leave but he paused. He couldn’t just leave him there, alone in the loud engine room. The floor must’ve been killing his back. Besides, Leo had been working non-stop for days, always finding something to fix on the ship. If not, he'd be cooking food for everyone else. Jason didn’t think that he'd ever seen the guy rest, until now.
For a moment, he contemplated placing the sleeping brunet in his own room but Jason quickly realised that was impossible. Leo hadn’t even made himself a room. He had spent eight months building the Argo II practically by himself, and hadn’t even built himself a room. Gods, he was too self-sacrificing for his own good.
Jason knelt down again, gently picking Leo up. He was a bit shocked at how light he was. He weighed nothing. The average weight for a 16 year old was about 56 kilograms to his knowledge. Leo felt around 45 kilograms. The thought hurt his heart, his best friend was barely the weight of a 13 year old. Jason made a mental note to make sure that Leo ate more, it made a lot more sense on why he was constantly exhausted.
Standing up properly, he gently re adjusted his grip on Leo before prying open the door with his foot, closing it gently. Leo mumbled a bit but stayed asleep as Jason walked at a steady pace, holding his breath just in case he moved too much and awoke the sleeping mechanic. Getting to the infirmary, he slowly placed Leo down on the bed, making sure to place a cooling blanket on top. He knew Leo felt safer when he was slightly colder than normal.
Leo stirred again, whispering something barely coherent but Jason was incredibly glad he heard it.
“Thanks Jay.”
Now, in this cold bunker, Jason wanted to cry. Leo was gone, and he'd never hear those words again. He’d never see that curly-haired Latino again. He’d never see him crack a joke or call him another stupid nickname again. He’d never create a small, amazingly intricate toy just to undo it and do it again and again to make it better each time.
He didn’t know how it had already been 2 weeks, time had stopped the moment he heard the boom, the sound he was sure would haunt him for the rest of his life. Nothing really mattered to him now, not anymore. Why should he get to enjoy life when his best friend couldn't be right there next to him? It wasn’t fair. Life was never fair.
Today, he didn’t feel like leaving his room, so he laid down in his bed, curled up in the fetal position, one of the only ways he could feel similar to Leo. Piper had left a few hours ago, something about her cabin needing to talk to her. Jason didn’t really know, his life was so bleak, he didn’t feel the need to know what everyone else was doing.
There was something big happening in camp today, a loud commotion down in the pavilion. But it didn’t really matter. They wouldn't need Jason anymore. Not in this state. He could barely leave his bed, let alone do chores. His room was a mess, his and Piper's clothes strewn across the floor. His nightstand was home to some dirty, untouched food that Percy had tried to help him eat and his bin was overflowing with tear strained tissues.
Tears filled his eyes once more, gods, why did Leo have to go? Why did he have to leave him alone in this unforgiving world? Couldn’t he have this? Why was he so unlucky? Couldn’t someone have pity on him? Why was everything good in his life taken away from him? First his sister, then his pack, then his memories, and now he didn’t belong anywhere. Now that Leo was gone, the seven would never be complete. He’d be missing, and Jason would never be whole again.
knock knock
“What.” Jason flinched at his monotonous, exhausted voice, and the lack of manners. He hadn’t been himself for a while, he doubted he ever would again.
“Jason?” His heart froze and he stopped blinking. No fucking way. He was dreaming, he had to be. “It’s me, you awake?”
He practically jumped out of his bed, scrambling for the door. Please, just this once. Someone let this be real. Let him have this.
The door was pulled open and there he was. In all of his majestic beauty. His brown hair was matted at the roots, slightly frizzy but as beautiful as ever. His eyes shone in the sunlight, twinkling with the natural hint of mischief they always held, along with something else that Jason couldn’t quite put his finger on. His deep skin was spotted with grease and soot, a few new cuts and scars but relatively untouched. He wore the same military jacket he always had, and a tattered camp half blood t-shirt, the logo faded. His magic tool belt hung loosely off of his hips, the pockets full of small trinkets.
“Leo, Leo…you-” Jason was speechless. He felt as if he was going to sob and scream before thanking every single living thing in fucking existence for bringing Leo back to him.
“Hey, sparky.” Leo responded in Jason's silence, chuckling a little as he ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the knots. Another nickname. Jason would've legally changed his name to it, if only to make Leo smile. If only to hear that voice over and over again until it made his ears bleed.
He placed a hand carefully over Leo's shoulder, hesitantly placing it down, as if he was scared that Leo was going to disintegrate at the contact. When he didn’t, he pulled Leo into a crushing hug, one hand in his hair, the other wrapped around the shorter boy's neck. Leo slightly flinched at the sudden motion but soon relaxed into the touch, returning the hug with a similar amount of fervour before tucking himself under Jason’s chin, his face buried in the blonde boy's sternum.
“I missed you too Jay.” Jason put away the notion of trying to act strong, letting out a choked sob. That beautiful nickname, from that beautiful voice, from that beautiful man.
“Don’t, don’t you ever leave me again- don’t you ever make me be in a world without you- because that's, that's not living, it's just existing. Gods, you scared the fucking shit out of me Leo-” Jason rambled, tears streaming down his face. Nothing could mask the sheer amount of relief he felt in that moment, his voice cracking at every other word.
Leo paused for a bit, his eyes wide in shock. But, Jason didn’t really notice. All he was focused on was that Leo was here, he was alive, and right next to him.
“I’m here now, right? Still alive to my knowledge.” He joked, his face flushing slightly. “And I'm not planning on leaving. Unless you ever need me to of course-”
“Stop, don’t, don’t say that. Of course I want you here. Gods, I need you here Leo. I’m not letting you out of my goddamn sight, no matter what. Anyone who says otherwise can suck it.”
Leo sucked in a breath, his face still in shock. “You, you missed me that much, really?” He almost whispered, voice cracking. His face flushed slightly again as he buried it back into Jason’s chest, his breathing shaky.
“Of course I did Leo, why wouldn’t I?” Jason started, closing his eyes as he tightened his grip on his best friend. “You’re my favourite person on this planet, I care about you so, so much, of course, of course I missed you.”
“..atleast i get to hang out with you all the time now? You can update me on everything I missed in the…how long have I been gone?” Leo slightly laughed, trying to bring some humour into the emotional conversation.
“Two long, hard weeks.” Jason murmured against Leo’s tangled hair, subconsciously running a hand through the knots, gently untangling it. “It was torture without you.”
Leo practically slumped against Jason, the adrenaline rush he had gained running out once his body realised he was safe.
“Are you okay? Do you need anything? Have you eaten? And drunk water? How long has it been since you’ve slept?” Jason rambled again, his hands cradling Leo’s face.
“I ate a couple days ago, and slept then as well. I think I'm just kind of tired ‘cause I didn't have much time to eat, wanting to get home and all- but I'll be okay, I swear.” Leo said, swaying slightly on the spot.
“No, you won’t. Bed, now.” Jason demanded, his tone leaving no room for argument as he dragged Leo towards the infirmary. He wasn’t letting his best friend be in any sort of discomfort, not right now, not ever.
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Getting back to normal life proved to be harder than expected, especially when he looked in front of a mirror for the first time. When was the last time he had taken a shower? Geez.
Looking in the bathroom mirror, he brushed a hand through his greedy, unwashed hair, his fingers catching on the many knots. His face was sunken in and pale (well, paler), his eyebags deep and prominent underneath his bloodshot eyes. He had lost a decent amount of weight as well, his collarbones jutting out underneath his shirt. But, he was sure he’d return to normal in no time. He had Leo now, and he wasn't letting him go for a second.
After a well needed shower, he changed into a simple light blue hoodie and some sweatpants, drying off his hair with a towel. Leo and Piper were currently still in Cabin 1, cleaning the room up together and she updated him on everything that had gone on during his absence.
“Jay? You finished?” Leo knocked on the bathroom door, his voice as beautiful as ever. Gods, Jason was so, so whipped.
Taking a deep breath, he shoved his previous clothes into the laundry basket and left the bathroom, looking around at the now clean cabin. Surprisingly, he could now see the cabin floor, all of his and Piper's clothes folded into two separate piles, Leo's clothes in another. Woops..
“It's fine Jason, you can keep those if you want, I've got more clothes.” Leo reassured, noticing where Jason was looking.
“...thank you.” Jason said sheepishly before walking up to both of them, hugging them as tight as tight as possible. “I love you guys.”
“Love you too Jason.” Piper replied, burying her face in Leo's shoulder.
“I love you guys as well, you’re both my favourite people.” Leo said, hugging them both even tighter, resting his head on Jason's side. His face was filled with a warmth that Jason hadn’t ever seen before and it made his heart swell with joy. Leo normally pretended to be happy but, this time, he seemed truly at peace with where he was.
Jason smiled brighter than ever in that moment. He had his best friend on one side and Leo on the other. Life couldn’t be any more perfect.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jason was this close to breaking.
He had spent the last month silently pining over Leo and it was going to drive him insane. Just because of how beautiful the man was, every hour, every minute. It's like Leo knew of the massive crush he had and had decided on taunting him.
He thought that he would “get used” to Leo’s beauty. Gods, that was a hopeful prayer. Because here he was in Bunker 9, watching as Leo worked on some metal chain. The forge was hot, obviously. It felt as if he was going to melt into a puddle. But, even the flames of the River Phelgethon couldn't come close to how hot Leo looked right now.
His hair was strewn across his face, sweat dripping down his forehead as he stared deeply at the project in his hands, sticking his tongue out slightly (a habit Leo did whenever he was focused on something) (Jason found it adorable). His off-white tank top clung to his skin, drenched in oil, grease and sweat.
How a man could look that pretty, was unfathomable to Jason, he didn’t think he’d ever get over the beauty of Leo Valdez.
“Jay? You okay?” Leo asked, suddenly appearing in front of him, a concerned look on his face. His goggles hung loosely around his neck, his bright, honey brown eyes now looking up at Jason.
“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking. Did you need something?” He responded, running a hand through his hair. How long had he been staring?
“You sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting off ever since I came back, did something happen?”
The concern in his voice squeezed at Jason's heart. He was making him worry, gods he had to get himself under control. If not for his sake, then at least to stop making Leo worry with that look in his eyes. And to stop Piper from teasing him.
She had found out about his crush a few days after their last fight with Gaia, and they had both been in Bunker 9. Stupid observant, hyper-empathetic Piper. Daily, she’d tell him to “shoot his shot” but, how could he? He didn’t want to ruin the friendship after all. Ruin all that he had? No chance. He couldn’t lose Leo, the man that had kept Jason going for the better part of the last year. He couldn’t lose someone who was one of the main reasons he got up every morning. So he’d wait. He’d wait and pine for his best friend until he eventually boiled over, and it all came out.
“I’m fine Leo, nothing happened. Don’t worry.” He managed to say, watching as Leo's face grew more concerned.
“Jason. I’ve known you for over a year, I can tell that you’re lying.” Leo grabbed his shoulders, his eyes staring intently into Jason's. “Seriously, what's going on?”
“I’m fine Leo, I swear. It’s nothing you need to worry about.” Jason bit his tongue, why was this so hard? He was going to spill his guts at this point.
Leo took his hands away, still looking worried. His eyes had another look, one that he couldn’t describe, something too close to love for Jason’s hopeful heart. Why would Leo be in love with him? It didn’t make sense. Leo was this perfect, beautiful, kind, humorous man. Why would he be in love with the emotional, confused trainwreck that was Jason Grace?
“Have I done something? Is that why you’re upset?”
“It’s not you Leo, I promise. You haven’t done anything, okay?” Jason reassured, attempting to get his thoughts in order. “It’s something I have to do on my own.”
Leo’s expression looked pained, his eyes deepening to that, almost retracted look they always did when he felt hurt and Jason's heart squeezed.
“..Jay, you know you can talk with me about anything.” Leo’s tone shifted into a more gentle one, one Jason had only heard once when Leo talked about his mom. “I know I'm always joking around but, I'm here.”
Leo placed his hands carefully onto Jason’s cheekbones, like he was afraid he was going to break him and Jason held his breath. Goddamn Leo and his rough, calloused hands. His face flushed under the warmth of Leo's body and he almost melted into the touch. He hesitated before brushing his finger against Jason’s lip scar, his eyes staring right at it. Jason blinked a couple times, biting the inside of his cheek hard just in case he was dreaming. There was no way. Jason wasn’t that lucky.
Leo's other hand moved down and trailed gently on Jason's arm (that had been glued to his side the entire time), his spare one rubbing against the taller one's cheek as he leaned in slightly, his breath mixing with Jason’s.
Praying to the gods he wasn’t reading into this too much, Jason leaned in and gently kissed him.
It wasn’t a perfect kiss by definition, but it was perfect to him. It was perfect in the way that their lips slotted together like magnets being aligned. It was perfect in the way that Leo pulled him in deeper, his hands gripping Jason's hips, and perfect in the way that he could feel Leo’s heart speed up and he could feel the way their noses brushed against each other.
Jason’s heart had probably grown wings and fallen into his stomach considering how fluttery he felt in this moment. He felt high off of the energy and heat of Leo’s body, and the way that it perfectly fit into his own, like they were made for each other. Two pieces of a puzzle that perfectly aligned. His hands went up to gently comb through Leo’s soft curls as his tongue slipped inside his mouth, Leo humming at the gesture.
Pulling apart to catch their breath, their foreheads rested against one another, both staring into each other's eyes. Leo’s lips were slightly puffy and swollen from the deepness and passion of the kiss but he didn’t seem to mind, more focused on Jason's own face, which he could tell was flushed and sweaty.
“I love you, Leo.” Jason spoke, his voice soft like a feather. He ran one of his hands down Leo’s neck, eliciting a shiver from his throat.
“..i love you more Jason.” Leo replied, still slightly out of breath as he proceeded to bury his face in the crook of Jason’s neck, breathing in his scent.
Oh yeah, Jason could get used to hearing that.