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Gloriosa stares. Sometimes, it feels that's what she will always do.
Innocently enough, she stared only a little in the beginning, at this strange woman who mysteriously shipwrecked on her island. Beautiful, in the softest and kindest of ways, yet impossibly shy and of painfully hesitant manners. How could that be, Gloriosa wondered, beyond puzzled. Anyone could admit the pale freckled skin, the magenta waves of hair and big dark eyes were entrancing, to say the least, but it became clear when she fainted at the slightest burst of violence, of power. She’s weak.
Gloriosa continued to stare as she saved one of her own, almost at the cost of her own life.
She stared and stared at the woman under the sunset light that very afternoon and then took a leap of faith, thinking that maybe this so-called prophet could be courageous enough if given the chance. That maybe Fate was trying to tell her something, even She sent wind to Amazon Lily with the prophet.
Gloriosa stared as she trained, mentored by Adamanta even if the woman didn't know it yet. She watched her improve, hone her skills and bravery as she grew both happier and confident.
The one time Gloriosa didn't stare is when she couldn't, her eyes caught by one of the most powerful men in the seas as he swung his blade and raised the tide as though he was the god of them.
She got sick, predictably, and her world crumbled while she, once again, could only stare.
As though by miracle, she had decided to accompany her to Fullalead, to join the most feared pirate crew to date. The worst of the worst. All not to leave Gloriosa alone. At that moment, Gloriosa realized she had underestimated her, believing in her love and friendship but doubting her fierceness, her boldness.
Somehow Gloriosa was able to keep staring at her.
That's when it happened. As the years passed by and the harshness of Rocks chipped down at their hearts, trying to erode them like drops of water do to stone. That's when Gloriosa went from only staring to wanting to touch.
Most of the time, Roger was far, far away and something in Gloriosa’s heart would never be able to call Stussy and Linlin true friends, not while they remained in a crew that encouraged stabbing each other in the back—thus, her only solace was Kassie. Her desert oasis.
Kassie, who stayed through it all. Who, despite her skittish ways and distrust of this cursed island, remained a solid yet soft surface Gloriosa could land in when she fell. Kassie, who remained steady when Gloriosa faltered.
And Gloriosa knew that took the most strength in the whole world, herself guilty of cracking under the pressure. Sure, Roger could tear cities at the flick of his wrist and he could split the heavens, but could he stay gentle in the face of violence? Could he stay kind in the face of cruelty?
Gloriosa knew she was still sick, she knew it in the way her energy wanned in the evening and the tiredness she felt in the morning despite having slept, both things that never used to happen before, but she wasn't sure anymore it was for Roger. Yes, she felt a tug in her gut at the thought of a fight with him, at the thought of him with danger in his eyes and a sword gripped tight his hand, but her heart didn't stutter as it does when staring at Kassie and the smile she gives her. Unwavering in the middle of the night, rosy-cheeked after drinking one too many cocktails and eyes turned into crescents.
Half the time, Gloriosa thought she was a dream. A comfort sent by her subconscious to withstand the merciless reality of Fullalead. But she wasn't. Kassie was real and Gloriosa wanted to touch.
However, she continued staring because Kassie never stared back. Because she seemed oblivious, because she was kind to everyone —to Shakky, Stussy, Linlin, even Newgate– so Gloriosa would never have a certain way to know for sure if she was special or not.
Half the time, it felt as though she —former Empress of Amazon Lily, one of the most beautiful women in the world and a full-fledged member of the Rocks Pirates— had nothing to offer.
Then, after the utter disaster that was God Valley, he arrived. The axe-wielding navigator that left a bitter taste in Gloriosa’s mouth because he stared at Kassie the same she does.
And Gloriosa hated his fucking guts because he dared do something she did not, he had enough face to approach Kassie and lean close, grace his hand on her shoulder as though it meant nothing and could mean so much more if she wished, while Gloriosa stayed glaring at him from the other side of ther room.
“You should tell her,” Shakky says at the new Rip-Off on Sabaody, because of course she knows. She has keen eyes like that. One sees everything from the bar countertop.
And Gloriosa glances away and sighs as subtly as she can. Because she could never. She could face any challenge, she would rather die than run away from battle, but this…
She’d rather be buried with these feelings than confess and jeopardize everything they have built. She knows Kassie would forgive her, would understand instantly, would never hold it against her, but it would be different because Gloriosa would never be able to live with such an abyss between them. She can look now all she wants but once her words are cemented in the air, she would have to look away in shame.
And so it goes.
Gloriosa stares, as though it’s everything she will ever do.
❀
Once again, the Rip-Off is full and to be honest, Gloriosa has had enough of this. Of moping and glaring by the counter as Kassie toasts with Roger’s navigator. If she’s going to spend the rest of the night like this, Gloriosa might as well go to sleep so the morning comes faster.
It’s not long, she’s barely taken her earrings off and stepped down from her heels, before someone softly knocks on her door.
“Rio?” Kassie softly asks.
And Gloriosa, heart skipping a beat, visibly winces, even though there’s no one to witness. Kassie’s melodic and kind tone is like adding salt to a wound.
Regardless, Gloriosa goes to open the door and tiredly smiles at Kassie when she smiles first. Silently, she then lets Kassie walk in because in spite of everything, in spite of any pain her presence might cause, Gloriosa could never deny Kassie. Rejection is simply not in her blood, in her bones.
Gloriosa would speak, she really would, if only not to make the silence awkward, but she can't come up with anything to say, not when Kassie visibly looks like she wants to ask something, stiffly smiling despite the years they've known each other, picking up and putting down the bottle and vials and jars on Gloriosa’s vanity.
Eventually though, as she runs out of products to go through, she seems to brace herself, taking a deep breath as she sits down on the chair before the vanity, twisting so she's draped over the backrest, her hands relaxed in the air and her cheek pillowed by her arms.
“Rio,” she says, so softly. Gloriosa’s heart skips a beat inside her chest, her feet rooted to the center of the room. “What’s going on?”
Resisting the urge to heavily sigh, Gloriosa simply smiles and carefully inhales.
“Nothing,” she quietly replies, walking towards her closet to grab her pajamas. “I’m just a little tired. That’s all.”
“No, it isn’t,” Kassie gently argues. “And you know it.”
Back turned to Kassie, Gloriosa allows herself the brief indulgence of grimacing, closing her eyes, as she fists a pair of pants in her hands.
Usually, Kassie believes her, knows the sickness well, but apparently not tonight.
Please, Gloriosa thinks, trying to swallow past the dryness in her mouth. Please, don’t make me do this.
She sighs now, helpless to stop it, before she turns around. “Kassie—”
“Rio—”
“I swear it’s nothing to worry about.”
“Don’t lie to me, Rio.” If ever so slightly, Kassie’s tone, despite the plea in it, takes a firmer edge. “Please.”
Gloriosa has to look away, at the fabric in her palms and the blankets atop her bed and the plants in the corner and warm light coming from the oil lamps.
“Kassie,” she breathes out, suddenly actually exhausted.
Before she continues though, Kassie rises from the chair and gingerly steps closer, though not enough to stand face to face and Gloriosa feels the distance like she would an ocean.
“Is this about Roger?” Kassie carefully asks. “Me leaving with him?”
No. Yes. In a way, I suppose. I don’t know.
“No, it isn’t,” Gloriosa answers, a little harsher than she should. Not everything is about damn Gold Roger. “Why would you—”
Kassie’s eyes beg at her as she finally takes the last step to be properly close, reaching out to hold her hand. “Then tell me—”
Gloriosa flinches and snatches her hand away even before Kassie can grab it.
“I never pressed you to tell me anything!” She snaps, fingers curling up into fists despite the sudden lump in her throat. “Not once, not one secret! I have always been ever patient with you, so why are you doing this to me now?”
Kassie’s response come out just as loud. “Because it’s hurting you!”
“Of course it does!” Gloriosa yells, composure slipping away as her eyes begin to sting, her ribs constricting as something pulls and pulls until it snaps. Her next words come out in a hiss, gritted between teeth. “How could it not hurt me? When every time—every time I watch you and then watch him—”
“Him who?”
“That damned axe-man that looks at you with stars in his eyes!”
This is it, Gloriosa vaguely realizes in the background. This is where she looses the little else she has left. Her heart sinks as she watches her future crash and burn, a ship sinking in slow motion that she cannot tear her eyes away from.
For some reason, Kassie’s features twist into utter confusion, puzzled eyebrows pinched in the middle and mouth open.
“Gaban?”
“Who else?”
“What?” Kassie sputters, wide-eyed. “He doesn’t like me that way—”
“You’re blind if you don’t see it!” Then, as though the small spark of anger had been snuffed out, Gloriosa’s tone shifts into a whisper. “As you’re blind to everything else.”
Kassie’s breathing visibly stutters.
“Like what?” She asks, just as quiet, confusion leaving her face and being replaced by a tender sort of prodding. Expectation mixed in with a form of shock perhaps.
Her eyes refuse to leave Gloriosa’s and despite every bone in her body telling her to look away, Gloriosa can’t. She’s an anchor and Kassie’s gaze is the sea. She sinks. Helplessly and eternally.
“Don’t,” Gloriosa breathes out with the faintest shake of her head. “Don’t make me say it.”
Hope is a painful thing, more painful than any injury Gloriosa ever sustained, and she knows because instead of gasping in horror and running away or apologizing for being unable to ever return her feelings, Kassie stays right where she is.
In fact, she steps closer, raises her foot and presses on just enough to cover the distance between her and Gloriosa and this time, Gloriosa —her heart banging against her ribs, lungs struggling as she drowns— doesn’t recoil.
“Gloriosa of Amazon Lily,” Kassie whispers, so softly, so close Gloriosa can feel her warmth, taste in the air between them the marrasquino cherries of Kassie’s drink, “Empress and Kuja, back then and forever.”
She raises her hands ever so carefully, if only not to scare Gloriosa again, and cups Gloriosa’s cheeks in her palms, lines of her skin against the faintest of Gloriosa's freckles.
Gloriosa, as tense as a drawn bowstring yet shaking, has to consciously resist the urge to lean in and close her eyes, knowing that if she did, a tear would escape her, staining the pad of Kassie’s thumb.
“My Rio,” Kassie continues, impossibly low, even in the already still silence of the room—dangerously close. “Say it to me… please.”
And so Gloriosa, helpless against the force of Fate once again, takes a faltering inhale, looks into Kassie’s wide gaze with big frightened eyes of her own, and chokes out, “I love you.”
The words strike like lightning between them, suddenly, coming and going in the blink of an eye.
The small gasp escaping Kassie’s echoes between them like thunder.
She doesn’t move. Kassie doesn’t move and Gloriosa’s blood under her skin feels like a forest catching fire as she waits, hope like the roaring of a sea storm in her ears.
Please, she thinks, glass heart in her trembling hands. Kill me—or kiss me.
Kassie audibly gulps as she moves even closer, imperceptibly so, but Gloriosa notices because this is all she’s wanted for years now, to touch. Of course she notices the press of Kassie’s front against her, the tips of their feet shuffling to fit together like puzzle pieces. Of course she notices the distance shrinking and the subsequent shiver running down her spine.
Please.
A stray tear finally escapes her eyes when she closes them, when Kassie stitches together the last inch of space between them and gently presses their lips together.
Gloriosa’s knees near buckle, a world crashing down on her shoulders at the softness and warmth of Kassie’s mouth, chaste and innocent against hers.
Perhaps to study her reaction or even to simply breathe, Kassie pulls away, soon, too soon, and Gloriosa realizes she can be selfish just this once and leans forward to chase, fingers coming up to grab at Kassie’s waist as she crashes their lips again, diving in with fierceness, fueled by years and years of hunger
Kassie —her beautiful, smart and kind Kassie— melts against her, looping her arms over Gloriosa’s shoulders as she tilts her head, just to kiss her better, just to open her mouth and let Gloriosa devour her, tongue and teeth and spit.
“How?” Kassie gasps, tangling her hands in Gloriosa’s hair.
“How could I not?” Gloriosa asks in return, panting and flushed in the face, not kissing Kassie again if only so they catch their breath for a second.
“But—I thought—” Kassie stutters, swallowing and licking her lips, hazy-eyed. “What about Roger?”
“I long forgot about him,” Gloriosa replies and leans forward again, whispering against Kassie’s lips. “He doesn’t compare. Not to you.”
Gloriosa can feel against her body how Kassie shivers, takes advantage of the surprised fall of her mouth to kiss her again.
“Were you jealous of Gaban?” Kassie asks next.
“Obvsiouly,” Gloriosa bites and strategically decides to press her lips to Kassie’s cheek and jaw and neck, the small ticklish spot behind her ear.
It works. Kassie leans her head back and tightens her grip on Gloriosa’s hair, whole body tensing up for a second before she presses herself closer, as if she wanted to merge with Gloriosa, tangle their ribs together now she knows she can.
“Don’t be,” Kassie sighs. “It’s not like that, not to me anyways. I like you only.”
“Say it again,” Gloriosa pants, actions contradicting her words as she claims Kassie’s mouth.
“I like you only,” Kassie rasps, the sound interrupted by the slick sound of their lips moving together. “You and only you. You, you, you.”
Gloriosa can but hold her tighter, snaking her whole arms around Kassie’s waist.
“Always have,” Kassie sighs and Gloriosa is so glad she can finally swallow her words. “Always will.”
And so Gloriosa grabs at her like she can’t get enough, kisses her like this is the first and last day of their lives—like Kassie is hers.
Mine, she thinks. Mine, mine, mine. Mine for me to stare and finally, at long fucking last, to touch.