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Armand crawled out of the bed he shared with his beloved Daniel, finding the cold wood floor to be a better companion. They, him, Louis, Lestat and Daniel, all had their own bedrooms and beds, however in general they shared beds based on mood. Armand didn't need as much rest as the others so he tended to slip into a bed whenever he was tired or naturally fell asleep there with one of his partners. Tonight it had been Daniel's arms he had fallen asleep in, however he had awoken in a panic.
The worst part was he didn't even know why, this just sometimes happened to him. One minute everything was fine, the next he was spiraling, completely out of control. He hated it.
He was on the floor, back pressed against the bed, he planted his hands against the floor in a effort to stop the shaking in them. His breathing was rapid and his vision was blurred with tears. The initial terror he had woken up in was already starting to wear off. He knew where he was, in the comfort of his own home with people he loved, the environment itself was calming, dark and cool. But his body still felt shaky and his mind lose and wondering. He needed something to ground him so he didn't float away.
Daniel was right there but he was asleep and he knew the concerned look he would get and he couldn't take that right now. He loved Daniel and he was great for most things but sometimes his outward caring was sometimes too much to bear. He needed Lestat, with his laissez-faire attitude.
Lestat, his oldest lover and friend, he understood Armand on certain levels that the other two could not. He had seen Armand burn his coven to the ground and desperately grasp at anything for a lifeline. Lestat had given him that lifeline in the theater. He hated him for it. Hated him for leaving. But time heals all wounds.
Lestat had seen him at one of the lowest points of his life and therefore understood things that could not be explained. He knew the way Armand's heart was shaped, horribly mangled as it was.
He had stopped shaking and he was breathing normal, slow given his lack of need for air. He gently got to his feet. He looked down at his beautiful boy, his gorgeous white curls, his wrinkled face free of concern or stress. He wished to stay but knew he could not. He quietly opened the door and closed it behind him.
He walked on the balls of his feet down the dark hallway. He walked like that when he was stressed, Marius had to beaten it out of him at one point but had failed in killing the habit entirely.
Their home was a modern mansion on the outskirts of Miami, it was one of many that they owned but at the moment it was the one they shared. Armand walked silently down the marble floored hall, Lestat was most likely in his own room or Louis's. All of their rooms were on the same level next to each other. Armand enjoyed being so close, even if he chose to be alone. They of course all had their own space throughout the house. Daniel and Louis each had a office, Lestat had a recording studio and Armand had an office filled to the brim with cameras, computers, ipads, blenders, really anything he found interesting.
He stopped in his tracks when he heard a door open. He wanted to run but Louis's beguiling green eyes were on him before he could move. Louis was coming out of his own room, dressed nicely in a long sleeve and slacks. Armand in comparison was wearing Minecraft creeper shorts and one of Daniel's band T-shirts. A cold feeling ran through him. He felt frozen and afraid like a child caught creeping around after their bedtime.
"Armand?" Louis said, pausing to look at him.
Armand stared at him. He could feel his lower lip quivering like he was about to cry. This was ridiculous. It was just Louis in their home. But his nerves were all ready strung to tight and he wasn't expecting to see anyone. He loved Louis but he couldn't right now. He felt so stupid.
There was a rising sob in his throat. He couldn't speak. He buried his head into his hands as he could feel tears start to fall. No, he didn't want this. He hated that he was so upset. It was just too much. He needed Lestat, not Louis. He had not prepared for Louis, he was prepared for Lestat.
"Love, are you okay?" Louis said gently, stepping forward towards him.
Armand filched as he felt Louis get closer. His body was reacting to everything without his mind, he felt like a prey animal being trapped. A sob wracked through his body, tears spilling into his hands.
"Armand, love, is there anything I can do?" Louis asked quietly taking a step back from Armand.
He shook his head. Too much he couldn't deal with this. He wanted to crumple into a ball on the floor but it was too exposed. Louis wasn't moving. He needed him to go away from this mess.
"Go Away," he projected into Louis's mind, unable to bring himself to speak aloud.
There was a awful pause. Armand couldn't see Louis because his hands were covering his eyes but he could sense him standing there. He was still crying, his breaths coming in great gasping heaves. He wanted to be in Lestat's room.
"Okay," Louis said, carefully. "I'll be downstairs in a online meeting if you need anything."
Armand nodded again, hoping that would get him to leave faster. He sensed Louis starting to walk away from him. Once he heard him walking down the stairs, Armand pulled his hands away from his face. There was blood all over them and there was still more tears falling. He wished to disintegrate into millions of pieces. He wanted to carve his skin from his body, let the physical pain outweigh the mental but that would upset his partners. They hated it when he hurt himself. He didn't want to upset them especially since he had already done that to Louis today.
He continued forward towards his original goal: Lestat. He was a complete walking mess, he was shaking his hands, and making small tongue clicking noises. He couldn't help it. He knew if Marius saw him like this he would be beaten, for making too much noise, the toe walking, the hands moving violently back and fore. All of it would have made his master furious with him. The oddities which his master could not stand and he could not help but doing. All these things were slowly calming him down so he wasn't fully sobbing when he got to Lestat's door.
His hand shaking slightly he opened the door and was met by the lovey smell of floral candles. The room was eccentric and messy, patterns clashing with muti colored carpets lining the floor and all sorts of lamps hanging all over. It was beautiful and though chaotic very curated. A shiny golden coffin sat in the middle of room.
Armand knelt next to it, rubbing the cold exterior with his hand. It was so smooth and felt so nice against his skin. Then he opened it letting the lid rest back on its hinges.
Lestat was inside still as a corpse and he was asleep. Armand was surprised that Lestat wasn't awake since it was early evening but he would happily wait. In fact this was better than him being awake.
Armand watched the slow moment of his chest, taking in his lovely scars and his godly hair. He carefully matched their breathing, slowing his down to the same deathly slow pace. Then he matched their heartbeats, a harder process but it forced him to focus his thoughts elsewhere where they wouldn't hurt him. He leaned against the the edge of the coffin letting his head rest on his hands. Slowly taking in every inch of Lestat's form. It was a comfort to watch this familiar body and to match its functions.
By the time he had matched their heartbeats, he could sense him starting to wake, the fog of sleep fading from his mind. His gorgeous blue eyes opened, immediately locking with Armand's. Lestat sighed deeply at the sight.
"What the fuck, Armand," he said, shutting his eyes and pitching the bridge of his nose like he had a headache.
Armand started laughing then smothering his mouth in his hands at Lestat's glare. It was so dismissive, he felt giddy like he burst into another fit of laughter.
"Do you need something you pervert or were you just getting off on watching me sleep?" he said, pulling himself into a seated position and stretching his arms above his head.
Armand didn't say anything just continued staring, he still didn't feel like speaking that would still be too much.
"And why the fuck are you covered in blood," he said, motioning his hand dramatically at Armand's face.
Armand started giggling like a child. A deep part of him was aware that this was unhinged and embarrassing but Lestat's reaction was exactly what he wanted. The man hadn't fawned over him or acted like he was made of glass, he had made fun of him. It was perfect.
Lestat gave him a disgusted look. "Jesus Christ, were you crying?" he asked, in distinct horror.
He nodded still smiling at Lestat's expression. Lestat paused for a second, looking at him with confusion. In that pause Armand moved, scrambling into the foot of the coffin where Lestat's legs had been moments ago.
"What the fuck!" he screeched.
Armand sat happily in the place he had stolen. The interior of the coffin was a soft velvet fabric which felt nice against his skin. He rubbed his hands into the fabric enjoying the feeling.
"Fine, gremlin" Lestat grumbled, standing up and stepping out of the coffin. "I'm going to take a shower," he said. He hesitated for a second looking at Armand as if he was trying to read something. Then he knelt down and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead.
Armand closed his eyes absorbing the sweet kiss but he appreciated that it didn't last, the touch was not bad it was just a lot. Lestat walked away leaving Armand alone. He curled up inside the coffin taking in Lestat's smell and the coldness his body had left behind. It was so comforting. He allowed himself to close his eyes and drift to sleep.
He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep for when he heard Lestat moving around the room.
"Ipad," Armand said into Lestat's mind. He could feel the man startle at his words, thinking he was still asleep.
"Fuck you, I am not getting your Ipad for you, you sick freak," Lestat scoffed. Then the door slammed shut and Lestat was gone.
Armand closed his eyes again and looked for Louis's thoughts. Louis was in the kitchen with Daniel and they were talking about him. Both of them were concerned for him.
"I am fine" he said into Louis's mind.
"You were not fine this evening" he bit back .
"I am sorry for disturbing you before your meeting," He projected. He was starting to drift away from the conversation. He was tired of trying to string words together.
"Love I am not upset about the meeting, I am worried about you."
"I'm fine, resting" he said and fully drifted away from Louis. He wished he could do more but he was exhausted and attempting to communicate in anyway was becoming too hard.
The door to the bedroom opened and closed. Lestat dropped his iPad on the floor next to the coffin and made no comment as Armand snatched it from the ground. He just went over to the couch and started doing something on his laptop, leaving Armand and his iPad in peace.