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Vacations were always so nice. There was no work. No coworkers to pester you. Sometimes you even get to go away from home instead of a staycation. You and Brendon had opted for a long cruise. Neither of you had been on one before so it was a small risk. So far, it had been smooth sailing. The food was good, both in restaurants and at the buffet. The pools and hot tubs were relaxing. The excursions at various ports were fun. You enjoyed the live music performed in different parts of the ship and in the evenings you and he both enjoyed the varying shows put on.
Tonight's show was one of those gimmicky things similar to The Newlywed Game. Three couples were chosen for questions. Around the vast auditorium there were people asking to be chosen and people doing their best to not get picked. You and Brendon were with hundreds of others in the middle of that scale. You were neither asking nor hiding. Perhaps in the end, it was your fault. You had wanted to sit closer to the front and had chosen the fifth row. Apparently that put you within eyesight of the host.
“You two. Yeah. You two. You're married? Why don't you come up here with the others?” the host promoted with a glamorous smile.
You looked at Brendon and he shrugged. Despite his chronic resting bitch face he was very much a go-with-the-flow person unless someone in the emergency room was being an absolute fucking moron. Which was daily according to Brendon.
Brendon led the way up on stage and once seated, the host took introductions. Names. Where they're from. How long they've been married. Being on stage surprised you. You knew there were hundreds of people in the audience; you could hear them, but due to the lights you couldn't really see them.
Brendon introduced the two of you since that seemed to be the way things were going. He said you were from Pittsburgh and married 19 years. One of the other couples had been married 5 years (two 70-somethings having fun) and the other couple had been married 1 year. This was their anniversary trip.
The host explained the game. Currently one partner was seated in one row on stage, the others were seated in a raised row behind them. The top row had boards and markers on their laps. When the question was asked, the top row would write out their answer while the bottom row thought about the answer. The host would then ask each person on the bottom row individually for their answer to see if they could match their partner. After three questions the partners would switch places. If there was a tie a seventh question would be asked. Questions were five points a piece.
“Alright folks, first question. A simple one to ease into the game. What is on your partner's lock screen?”
Brendon was thankful he was last this time around. You changed your lock screen photo all the time.
Contestant One, the 70something, answered it was their cat, Moose. A match.
Contestant Two said it was a photo from their wedding day. Close enough. Match.
Brendon hesitated. He hated the optics. He knew he looked like a gym bro (because he was) and he didn't want to push any stereotypes of a husband who didn't know anything about their spouse. “I'm pretty sure it's a selfie of us from sunset last night.” He thought that's what he caught a glimpse of at lunch that day.
“It is!” You exclaimed and flipped over the board that had “selfie (from last night)” written on it.
Brendon let out a sigh of relief.
“Fantastic! Five points for each couple!” The host said as the audience applauded. “Question two. If we offered your partner $1,000, could they go 24 hours without kissing you?”
Contestant Two answered first this time. For $1,000, they were certain there could be no kissing. Match.
Brendon's turn. “No. She wouldn't want to. It's…” Brendon rarely was at a loss for words. “We kiss so frequently it would be weird not to. I don't think either of us would for any amount of money.” The audience aww’d and you hid your face behind your card that read “No.”
Contestant One shrugged. “Why not? $1,000 is a hefty amount.” No match.
“Alright, that's ten points for Contestants Two and Three, and five for Contestant One. Let's move on to question three. Would you let your partner win an argument? Brendon, you're first,” the host said.
Brendon scowled. What an awful question. “No. She doesn't need me to let her win an argument.”
You looked appalled. “You wouldn't let me win an argument?” Your card said ‘Yes’.
“You make valid points! You don't need help when it comes to winning arguments,” he said, turning around to look at you.
You narrowed your eyes. “What about my argument about 207 bones in the adult body.”
Brendon groaned, “babe, no…”
The host jumped in. “I'd certainly like to hear this argument.” The audience cheered.
You had smug confidence happening. You knew that the human adult body had 206 bones. You weren't stupid. You just loved aggravating Brendon. “I am adamant that an adult has 207 bones in their body. Brendon, who happens to be an orthopedic surgeon and claims to be an expert on bones, disagrees.”
Brendon had his face in his hands. This was it. This was how he died. On stage on a cruise. Goodbye cruel world. He thought dying of embarrassment only happened in the Sims.
You continued speaking. “I have to remind him that I'm pretty sure I had 207 bones in my body just last night.”
Brendon let out a quiet and weak, “it's not a bone…”
The room went quiet for several seconds before laughter exploded and the host had to step away for several minutes. The host would have had the intermission at that point but he still had the other two contestants that had to answer.
It took nearly ten minutes, but finally the host was able to regain control. “I am so thankful this is the adults only show. I didn't need those complaints afterwards. Alright, Contestant One. Would you let your partner win an argument?”
“Yes. If only to avoid what he went through,” Contestant One said, pointing to Brendon. Match.
Contestant Two looked scared. “Yes?”
“You don't think I can win an argument on my own?”
Contestant Two groaned and begged the host to go to intermission.
The host took pity on them and announced an intermission. “
Brendon stood up and shook his head at you. “I can't believe you said that.”
You just shrugged and hugged him. “Are you really that surprised?”
“No,” he said and kissed you. He wasn't lying. You kissed numerous times a day and when opportunity presented itself, he went for it.
“Let's go win this game, Shark.”