Chapter Text
“Ryo-san, your leg. Did you hurt it when you slid for home last game?”. Kuramochi’s words made my breath hitch.
I tried to pretend that his question didn’t make me want to sprint far far away, but my brief silence made him give me uncomfortable eye contact that begged for an answer.
“What’s your point? I hit the catcher’s leg guard with my shin, so it’s just a little swollen.”, I responded bluntly. I wanted to tell him that the pain in my shin was so unbearably searing that I could scream, but I sealed my lips, for both of our sakes.
“A little?”.
“Don’t worry. I’ll have plenty of adrenaline flowing in a game. Everyone hides minor injuries like this. But…if you think I’m dragging the team down, you should tell the coach. If it comes from my year-long partner, then I can’t disagree.”.
My own words shattered my heart into a million pieces. My brain was begging me to take back everything I had just said, pleading with me to tell him that this was a huge misunderstanding. But I held back. I figured that it was better to be upfront with him rather than playing off my pain entirely.
However, I decided that it wouldn’t kill anyone to slip in a lie or two. Maybe my pain wasn’t that easy to ignore, and maybe my shin wasn’t just a little swollen, but he didn’t have to know that. Kuramochi didn’t have to know a lot of things, yet he never failed to go sniffing around for an answer every time. His curiosity was irritating at times, but comforting in the thought that I would never be facing a problem by myself.
“It’s getting late. We have practice bright and early tomorrow, so you should head back to the dorms.” I remarked coldly, eager to escape the awkward atmosphere we had created.
“Goodnight, Ryo-san. Sleep well.”.
I acted like I hadn’t heard him and started walking in the opposite direction. He and I both knew that the path to our rooms was in the direction he was headed, but I was too flustered to walk back to my room with him.
His confrontation in the alley about my shin made me lose my late-night thirst for a soda, and it made me lose any ounce of sleepiness I had in my system. So I decided that I’d limp around the campus until I felt tired again.
Bad idea.
After just one minute of aimlessly staggering around, my shin stung with an ache I hadn’t experienced in I don’t remember when, causing me to tumble to the ground painfully. Great, absolutely phenomenal. I squirmed around in the dirt in discomfort. My stubbornness put me in this stupid situation, but it would also get me out of it.
I got up slowly, clutching my right leg as I hobbled my way back to the dorms. I tripped over some rocks along the way, but I got up every time, determined to get back to my room as soon as possible.
I breathed a sigh of both relief and exhaustion as I finally approached the door to my dorm room. I entered my room as quietly as possible, careful not to disturb my sleeping roommates. I crawled into my bed with a yawn and settled myself beneath the comfort of a soft blanket.
I thought that I would drift off into slumber immediately, but I instead tossed and turned in my bed for half an hour, too occupied with what had happened in the alley earlier to even think about sleep.
The mere thought that I wouldn’t be able to play in our next game was enough to keep me awake for another 30 minutes. All of my thoughts were discouraging pests that whispered doubts straight into my eardrums. By the time I fell asleep, anxiety was coursing through me more than my own blood, and I wasn’t sure if it would stop.
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I woke up the next morning with seemingly hell to pay for existing.
My brain felt like it was pulsing against my skull, and my neck was sore from the position I had been sleeping in. It was as if the pain in my shin had spread to my head overnight.
Large splotches of sweat decorated the back of my shirt, making it stick to me like glue. I always woke up a bit earlier than others, so I thought that I could catch a couple more z’s before it was time to get ready, but with the way my back was drenched, I decided that it would do me good to get up and shower.
The only thing that didn’t seem to be negative about this morning was the fact that my shin felt oddly numb. I wasn’t feeling much pain, but rather a fuzzy sensation where my injury was. Maybe the pain really did spread to my head while I slept.
Although I wasn’t enjoying having a heartbeat in my head, the thought that the pain in my shin had subsided calmed my nerves.
I began to twist my ankles in circular motions, attempting to loosen up the tension in my legs, before beginning my walk to the bathhouse. Despite how early in the day it was, the Sun peeked slyly at me through the cloudy, dark skyscape above. I absentmindedly hummed to myself, taking in the tranquility of my silent surroundings. Peace began to wash over me, calming my muscles and my mind.
Maybe my situation wasn’t as miserable as I had first believed it to be. Maybe I could try a couple new things today. I might even get the chance to smooth things over with Kuramochi—Splash!
Out of the blue, I was aggressively snatched right out of la-la-land.
I squinted into the distance, attempting to locate the origin of the sound. I hung my head when I realized the noise had come from the bathhouse. Hah…just my luck. I wanted to have a relaxing soak by myself, not bathe awkwardly next to someone else, but I decided to go into the bathhouse anyway. It’s not like I hadn’t recently been in an uncomfortable situation.
I kicked rocks with my left foot as I approached the entrance, hoping that the sound coming from inside wasn’t a person, but a sink someone forgot to turn off. No one could be up this early, not to mention at the bathhouse of all places…or could they? I decided to take my chances, only to discover that I seriously need to quit pushing my luck.
As soon as I walked in, I desperately wanted to exit.
“Damn it. Where did I put my towel?”, I heard Kuramochi mutter.
Of course, of all the people I could run into at the bathhouse, it had to be him.
We locked eyes as soon as I entered.
My stare was uninterested and laced with restlessness whereas his was filled with nothing but concern, unmistakably for me. At first, he appeared a little startled, but his gaze quickly shifted into something more like pitiful worry.
I had planned to have as few conversations with him as possible until my injury was out of the picture, but this unfortunate interaction was unavoidable.
He looked at me expectantly, as if he was waiting for me to confirm that we were on talking terms.
”Ryo-san, y-you’re up early.”, he stammered, frantic to start a conversation with me before I ran away from him.
His dark hair clung to the back of his neck, dripping with water like a broken faucet. The built-up condensation from the water highlighted every piece of brawn on his body with a sweat-like shine. The sun-kissed tan on his skin, the definition of his calf muscles, and even the curve of his spine seemed to be glistening with an indescribable allure.
Every part of him was attempting to draw me in, to force me to give him at least an ounce of my attention. And it worked.
”Yeah. I was just having some trouble sleeping, so I decided to take a morning bath.”, I responded, hoping that he wouldn’t press me for any more information about my shin.
”Oh, that sucks…”, he mumbled.
We slowly turned our heads away from each other. We hadn’t ever fought or even had a big argument before, but now, we could barely look each other in the eye for more than a couple of seconds. I didn’t want to treat him like a stranger, but if I let him get too close, I might accidentally blather on about everything that’s been stressing me out. And that wouldn’t do either of us any good.
An unbearable silence ruled over the room, so I decided to start doing what I came here to do: bathe.
I walked to the corner of the room to undress myself, pretending that I didn’t feel the pair of eyes burning holes into the back of my head. I took a couple of deep breaths to prepare myself for the discomfort of bathing next to Kuramochi, but by the time I had got up to wash myself, he was gone.
I could tell that he had left in a hurry a few seconds ago from the wet footprints that he had left behind. I felt bad about driving him away with my dreary presence, but I was thankful for the opportunity to bathe leisurely by myself.
I took a long soak in the tub, letting the water soothe every sore. I let myself sink into the water, only coming up to the surface of reality to breathe every so often. Although I only bathed for half an hour, the water’s warmth relaxed my body enough to give me some peace of mind.
However, as soon as I rose from the tub, pessimistic thoughts began to creep in from out of nowhere. I had forgotten all of my troubles in a matter of minutes because of my bath, but the emotional weight of all of them came crashing down on me as soon as I left the bathhouse. Along with the reappearance of my worries, a certain ache returned to its dreadful place in my head.
I tried not to let it bother me, but I knew that I couldn’t keep this healthy facade up for long without at least a few more of my teammates finding out that I was injured. Whether it was during practice today or during the game tomorrow, I feared that some cracks would show.
This secret was eating me alive, but my pride was prohibiting me from sitting out of our game tomorrow. For better or for worse, I would be playing against Inashiro tomorrow, and I wouldn’t back down.