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Mai wiped the dust off the box before securing the flaps with duck tape for probably the fiftieth time. You really can’t be too careful when it comes to moving boxes, everything gets tossed around so much.
Once the boxes were adequately sealed enough she gently pushed them with her foot to a ‘fragile’ section. Mai’s back was far too tender and frail for her to be bending down and picking things up anymore.
A part of her couldn’t believe she was moving out of this house. She had built so much of her life here, made so many memories. Many, many years ago, Mai had chosen this house because it had multiple bedrooms, for when her sister, Maki, or Mai’s nephew, Iori, would come over for a sleepover. Mai always claimed she wasn’t a free babysitter just because Iori was her nephew, but not once did she ever actually send that kid away. Curse her soft heart! She couldn’t help but smile, those really were the days…
There was a clattering in the background that was soon followed by a whispered curse that brought Mai’s attention back to the front door. Her eyes landed on her grand nephew under the door frame rubbing the back of his head while trying to balance a box in one hand. Mai laughed, poor thing must’ve hit his head.
“Tsurugi? Are you alright? Did you hit your head?”
Tsurugi’s eyes lit up at the sound of Mai’s voice, and he responded quickly. “No, I’m fine! Don’t worry about it, auntie.” He stopped rubbing his head and confidently lifted another heavy box to lug on his shoulder to reassure her of his strength before walking out the front door to load up the moving truck.
Mai just gave him a light smile and shook her head. Kids are so energetic these days.
It was the twentieth of January, and Mai was moving from her comfortable home to a smaller town house closer to the main Gojo Compound. It had been an insistent change in lifestyle that her sister’s family had been pushing on her as the years went by.
Since Maki passed away, more specifically.
It all started at her sister’s funeral. Yuta had pulled Mai to the side and offered his home to her, a room at the Gojo Estate. Permanently, if she desired it. Initially Mai thought it was strange and almost a little offensive, for what reason was he bringing this up now? She had a good relationship with Yuta, she’d like to say an excellent one with Maki, and an agreeable one with the rest of the Gojo Clan. Not once in all those decades did the option of Mai moving into the Estate come up. It was such an odd idea.
She soon realized why Yuta had extended his offer a year later, at his own funeral. Mai had remained unmarried for the entirety of her life, she had no family outside of Maki, Yuta, and their own children and grandchildren. To most people, Mai was alone.
When Maki passed, Mai lost her entire world. At least the core part of it. It was expected. They were old, and the latter years of Maki’s life hadn't exactly been kind to her, she deserved to rest. Maki deserved peace.
Maybe it was the years dragging on Mai, but at her sister’s funeral, she couldn’t bring herself to cry.
Yuta on the other hand sobbed and howled, his grief wracking through his entire frame.
She could still visualize the way he knelt over Maki’s grave and cried once all the guests and Clan members had left. Mai had never seen the man, the strongest sorcerer alive, look so weak.
She’s seen his kind of weakness, the one foot in the grave kind. She was all too familiar with it actually. Mai remembered the way she grabbed onto Yuta’s arm and yanked him up, his body was completely limp.
“Get up.” She felt bile rise in her throat. “You have children who need you. You can’t just give up, Okkotsu.”
Yuta didn’t respond, he just continued to stare numbly at the ground. It was like he didn’t even hear her. At the time Mai just brushed it off, there was no use in trying to reach out to a grieving man. It was soon after that Yuta had extended an offer to move her into the Estate. Mai had immediately refused, and Yuta flinched a bit at her rejection. Mai wanted to ask what he was feeling, she almost did, but then his carefully crafted mask slipped back on. It extinguished any hope of communication she had.
Mai wishes she would’ve pried more.
Yuta passed away within a year, his health taking a rapid decline. So many people romanticized it.
“He died of a broken heart!”
“He just couldn’t live on without her…”
Mai wouldn’t deny those things, because they certainly held a percentage of truth. But Yuta didn’t just die of a broken heart over his wife’s death, but of loneliness. Mai felt guilt overtake her as she watched people converse and grieve over his grave at the funeral. The offer to move suddenly made so much sense, he just needed a friend, someone who understood.
Yuta didn’t want to die alone, and Mai didn’t notice his cry for help.
All they really ever had were each other. Even with Mai around, both Yuta and Maki protected and cherished their covenant more than anything else. Nothing changed, even as their old friends and allies began to drift away, pass on, or some other notion. They continued to do things the way they’ve always done, together. Every vow they said at that altar all those decades ago held true, up until their very deaths. Sometimes just thinking about it made Mai want to cry, and she hated romance. Maybe what touched her heart about it all wasn’t the romance, but the partnership.
Never in all her years has Mai seen a pair as loyal and devoted as her sister and her husband. They were in it for the long haul, and proved it too. Mai mused to herself, Maki was always the type to never give up.
So whenever Mai would think back to Yuta’s funeral, she used to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. A devoted pair was sweet and romantic in theory, but there was never an instruction manual on what to do when your other half passed, and Mai didn’t know how to comfort the man at the time.
But she doesn’t try to beat herself up too hard about it now, Yuta was in a far better place. She’s sure those two lovebirds were off frolicking about in some flower field in whatever afterlife awaited them after death.
Contrary to what her grand nephew and niece thought. Mai wasn’t in a rush to join them there. She still had a lot she wanted to enjoy in this world. Spending more time with her family was one of them. She even wanted to enjoy her new house, though it was much more humble in size to this one. But it served its purpose.
“Auntie! Come on out, I have something for you!” Mai could hear her grandnephew calling out to her from the front lawn, where he was no doubt packing boxes into a moving truck.
What could the boy possibly need her for? Mai grumbled before beginning to drag her feet towards the house’s main entrance. As Mai neared the thin hallway that led to the door, her foot made contact with a solid surface, nearly sending the old woman toppling over.
Mai cursed as she just barely stopped herself from meeting face first with the cold tile. Turning her head to find the accursed object that almost ruined her face, she was met with the distantly familiar cover of a book she’d long since forgotten.
It was a scrapbook full of pictures, it wasn’t even originally Mai’s to begin with. What started off as a passion project for Maki in her middle school years later developed into a memory journal that she and Yuta shared. When Maki passed, Yuta gave the journal to Mai. He said he just couldn’t bear to look at the book anymore, and that he had all the important memories in his head anyhow.
Truth be told, Mai hasn’t ever dared to open the book herself. At the time of her receiving it, the wounds of Maki’s death were still too fresh and painful. She swore she’d go through it some day, but it seems that day never came.
Mai traced her fingers over the thick leather cover, worn and ugly from its decades of use. In big bold bedazzled lettering was written ‘My Life’. It had the crude artistic abilities of a thirteen year old, and it made Mai laugh to herself. A small part of her considered opening it right then and there, but she decided against it for now. The book was impossibly stocky and filled to the brim with photographs and collages, it was a miracle the binding was still holding up. It would certainly take awhile to sort through everything. Mai could wait just a few moments more.
Finally making her way outside with the heavy book tucked under her arm, she was greeted with her grandnephew holding a small cupcake while standing in front of the moving truck. Mai allowed her lips to part slightly in shock. She had completely forgotten today was her birthday, and not just hers either.
Today was Maki’s birthday, too.
“Happy birthday, auntie…” Tsurugi’s voice was soft and calm. Not the usual boisterous tone she was used to hearing from the young man. Mai was never too fond of her birthday, even less so when her twin sister passed. It was always just another day to her.
“Thank you, dear..” Mai gently grabbed the cupcake and blew out the candle resting on the top. “This was very thoughtful of you..”
Tsurugi just smiled and didn’t follow up with anything, he didn’t need to. There was a silent understanding as to why Mai didn’t enjoy big celebrations, the boy of all people would understand Mai the most. Tsurugi was very close to his grandmother, he was practically attached to Maki’s hip. Mai could still remember the way the stoic boy bawled and wailed at his granny’s funeral, he loved Maki immensely.
“Have you visited her grave?” Mai decided to ask instead. There was no doubt whose grave they were referring to.
Tsurigu nodded, “Yeah, both me and Yuka did. Woke up extra early to clean and polish the stone before I made my way over here.”
Mai smiled warmly, “That’s good.. Very good.”
“You’ll be visiting too, right?” Tsurugi almost seemed hesitant to ask.
“Of course! I had planned on heading over after we finished here.” Mai had completely forgotten about her own birthday, but her body always moved to the Gojo Clan’s resting place on instinct every single year without fail to visit her sister.
Tsurugi smiled warmly, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Granny would really enjoy that..”
He talked of Maki like she was still alive..
In a way her soul was eternal, and she’s sure that Maki’s spirit would perch on her tombstone to listen to Mai or her grandkids ramble on and on about the news and events of the past year.
“And you, son? How has school been treating you?”
Tsurugi lit up at the opportunity to talk about his own life. He turned sixteen a couple months ago and was almost finished with his first year at Kyoto Tech. He rambled on and on about his classes, missions, teammates, and teachers. Mai couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it would’ve been for Tsurigi to have met Utahime Sensei. Or rather Principal Iori, as she was known later in life. But she had passed long before Tsurugi was even born.
Tsurugi continued to talk about his classes and his sister, who was starting high school in the upcoming school year. Mai noticed his voice waver and his expression falter at the mention of his sister.
The relationship between the two was tumultuous at best, currently at least. It all started after Yuta passed and discussions of inheritance and succession started to get serious. It all came to a head when it was decided by the Clan Elders that Tsurugi would be the one to inherit Yuta’s cursed ring, which was previously bestowed upon his granddaughter by the man himself. Tsurugi held no desire for the ring, but he had no choice but to accept under the harsh scrutiny of the rest of the Clan. Yuka resented her brother ever since.
It made an uncomfortable feeling churn in Mai’s stomach, sometimes it felt like looking into a funhouse mirror whenever she’d observe her grandniece and nephew. Her own relationship with her twin sister was similar if not even more strained around their age. Mai would always be sure to remind her sister’s grandkids of how important siblings are to each other whenever the topic would come up, the last thing she wanted was them being driven apart from one another. Like Maki and Mai were.
After a few more minutes of idle conversation, Tsurugi pulled out his phone to glance at the time.
“I should start heading over, auntie.” He was referring to her new, more humble home.
“Will you be coming with me, or heading to the Estate?”
Mai mulled it over for a few moments before deciding that her grandnephew was more than capable of organizing and carrying her furniture and boxes on his own. She had a very special date with her sister after all.
“I’ll leave it in your hands, dear. I’ll go visit your grandmother..”
Tsurugi nodded with a smile before leaning in to give Mai a big hug. That was something that she had to learn to accept from her sister’s family, hugs.
After a few moments of squeezing, Tsurugi finally let Mai go with a two fingered salute. Before he could enter the moving truck, his eyes trailed down towards the heavy book tucked underneath her elbow.
“Do you need me to take that for you?”
Mai’s eyes snapped towards the book she forgot she was even carrying. Her eyes squinted with affection for a fleeting moment before responding to the young man. “Oh no, this is Maki’s birthday gift!”
Tsurugi gave a small shrug before finally settling himself into the moving truck and waving Mai off. “Then I’ll see you for dinner tonight.” With that the truck roared to life and Mai watched her grandnephew drive away until his truck was just a small dot on the distant horizon. She never recalled agreeing to dinner with her sister’s family, but she supposes that was just how they went about things. Trapping her with pretty words and carefully crafted sentences until she found herself not being able to disagree.
The sun hung high in the sky, and by the time Mai reached the Gojo Estate the heat of the sun’s rays would begin to nullify the cold of January. Mai scurried back inside briefly to grab her parasol she had left at the door and to grab a change of clothes. There were still boxes left strewn and stacked around the house, but Tsurugi said he’d rather take two trips than risk anything valuable breaking. Mai had to respect her grandnephew for such a wise and patient decision.
Mai closed the door to her room as she searched for her dark purple kimono she kept set aside for this specific occasion every year. The kimono itself used to be Maki’s before Mai inherited it after her death, purple was always her sister’s color, not hers. Most of Maki’s feminine and womanly possessions went to her granddaughter, Yuka, the only girl. Mountains of jewelry, fine kimonos and informal yukata’s, even Maki’s own wedding ring was passed down onto her granddaughter. It held none of the power Yuta’s ring did, but all of the significance. Maki had left some of the items that she didn’t think her granddaughter would appreciate to Mai, like this mature and formal dark purple kimono.
Her sister always secretly yearned for a daughter, that Mai knew for sure. But the topic of having more children was strictly forbidden after Maki’s second child, her miscarriage. It devastated Maki down to her core, and she never tried for another child after that, though she did yearn for a bigger family.
Mai could still recall the nights Maki would spend crying to her arms about how unfair it all was, how cruel the world had been to her. Her frustration on how the world could never let her ever truly have one thing for herself, without losing so much in return. Mai would just listen and hold Maki as she spat in rage, or cried with grief.
Those days were painful, and not just for Maki. Mai had to watch as her sister was slowly losing herself. Becoming distant and cold with her own husband, feeling detached and uncaring with her son, Iori. Maki refused to even sleep in the same room as Yuta for a few months after her miscarriage. She’s never seen their marriage as strained as it was during this time. It was like Maki barely acknowledged Yuta, her husband, the father of her children. Mai had to watch with agony as Yuta had to suffer in silence alongside Maki, unable to share his grief with his wife properly. It was some of the worst depression Mai has ever seen in a person. It was like her sister changed overnight. She was a completely different person.
Everything Maki did do felt robotic, her expression was always blank and plain. Mai remembers Yuta quietly confessing to her one night in an act of weakness that he believed the only reason Maki had stayed with him throughout her grief was out of a sick sense of duty. The kind of duty a proper wife and woman raised in the Zen’in Clan should have. Mai immediately refuted his words and thoughts, their love and marriage was genuine, it was an insult to compare their relationship with the likes of Maki and Mai’s own parents for example. Mai reassured Yuta countless times that Maki really did love him, truly. It was the closest and most vulnerable she’d ever been with her brother in law.
But Mai could begin to see and understand where Yuta’s fears and insecurities were coming from as she observed her sister go through the motions of Lady of the House with a robotic perfectionism and without a hint of emotion or care. It’s like she was a ghost, perpetually silent. Whenever Yuta would attempt to reach out to Maki, she would always respond with cold and calculated words, devoid of any of the affection and warmth they used to hold. The only reason Mai knew that Maki was still human and not replaced with a puppet were the moments she’d stumble in on her sister silently crying to herself in an empty hallway and or in one of the many empty guest bedrooms.
It made Mai recoil with nausea at how much Maki reminded Mai of their mother during that time.
Even their own son, Iori, began to feel the effects of his mother’s distance and his father’s grief. Though the boy was only six years old when everything happened, he wasn’t dim. There was no baby brother on the way, and his parents were distraught. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what happened. It was astounding how such a young child began to adapt and learn how to curb his parents moods and attitudes to avoid falling into the crossfire. Mai tried to reach out to her nephew once, to make sure he was properly cared for in such a tumultuous season of their lives. But the boy was so self-assured and confident in his own abilities, it felt silly for Mai to even worry after talking to him. Still, she couldn’t imagine that the coldness of his mother, and the depression of his father didn’t weigh heavy on his heart.
Thankfully, with time and valiant effort by the people around Maki, she slowly began to recover. That recovery also included rebuilding their marriage. That Mai wasn’t around for personally, but she saw the effects of their effort in their home whenever she’d come to visit. Sharing meals again, sharing a bed, even soft acts of affection where they were previously as cold as ice. Mai could still remember the warm glow on Maki’s skin when she revealed that she and Yuta were finally starting to be intimate with each other again after a whole year. Mai never thought she’d be elated to hear that her sister was having sex again, but there she was. Maki was also much more attentive and caring for their eldest son, Iori. No doubt the drastic change in atmosphere around his home distressed the poor child, maybe that was why he eventually…
Mai shook her head from those thoughts. Both Maki and Yuta were excellent parents who fought for their family and marriage throughout their entire lives. It was no fault of theirs that life happened to be hard, it was hard for everyone, and they made it out triumphant. They were human, of course they’d make mistakes. Iori was a fool for not being kinder to his poor parents.
Mai frustratedly secured her obi belt in place with a firm tug, she was far too old to be thinking about the past like this. With one final look in the mirror to make sure everything was in place, she secured her house keys and began to make her way to the main entrance. Making sure not to forget the book, of course.
With the door finally slammed shut and locked away, Mai began to make her way towards the Gojo Estate.
It was a short train ride and sequential walk to the Gojo Estate.
One thing Mai hated about the Estate with a passion was how it was uphill, hidden in a foggy bamboo forest that seemed to hold freezing temperatures all year round. The actual Compound itself was quite modest considering how big the Gojo Clan actually was, but they devoted the majority of their land to other ventures.
Like the Gojo Clan cemetery.
There were names of people so ancient that it was a miracle the kanji wasn’t blurred beyond recognition on the stone. The walk through the cemetery was actually quite peaceful, as wisteria trees blanketed the entire range like violet raindrops. If Mai could recall correctly, Maki and Yuta would take walks through the cemetery with their grandchildren in the early mornings. She wonders if Yuka was the one to inherit Maki’s parasol.
It was a beautifully crafted gift that Yuta had given Maki on their twentieth wedding anniversary, along with an extra wedding band. The parasol was a light purple and made of pure strengthened silk, with cranes and plum blossom flowers dancing throughout the design. Mai had to admit, she was also quite enamored with her sister’s new accessory. It made Maki look so elegant and regal. She always thought that Maki resembled a princess or rather empress from ancient scrolls and paintings.
It was ridiculous that Naoya had ever tried to convince Maki that she was ugly or lost any amount of her beauty with her scars. If anything it made her pale skin and dark hair even more eye-catching and alluring.
Mai could finally begin to see the wisteria trees from where she had deviated off the original path that led up the Estate. Just a few more paces and the cobblestoned path was laid before her to walk through the final resting place of countless Gojo Clan members.
The first thing the woman noticed was how polished each and every stone was. The Gojo Clan has always taken extra care to keep their cemeteries and respective stoneheads clean and refined. Respecting the dead was something that was drilled into the youth of the Clan from even the youngest of their formative years.
Mai would occasionally recognize a name and whisper a soft greeting before continuing on. Her sister’s resting place was a little feather back, and near the top of the hill, where Clan Heads and their spouses were put to rest. There was virtually no one here besides a few Clan Elders who would stop by their loved ones' graves with flowers and a prayer.
After a few more minutes of walking and enjoying the peaceful scenery accompanied by the soft songs of the birds, Mai could finally see her sister’s name come into view.
Maki was buried alongside Yuta, the romantics they were…
‘Maki Okkotsu’ read one stone, the one alongside it read ‘Yuta Okkotsu’. Besides their dates of birth and death written under their names, the only other inscriptions on their stones were the words ‘Loving Wife’ and ‘Loving Husband’, respectively.
It was certainly true, no matter how shaky their lives were. Yuta and Maki never stopped being faithful and dutiful spouses to one another.
Sometimes that devotion was full of love and romance. Other times it was driven by a sense of honor and duty. But no matter how life dragged on the couple, they always stayed together. For better or for worse. No two emulated that sentiment better than Maki and Yuta.
Mai was pleasantly surprised by the amount of flowers and cards left at her grave, no doubt from her grandchildren and fellow Clan members.
Mai let down her parasol and cleared her throat before speaking.
“Happy birthday, Maki..”
It felt a little out of character for Mai to not be snarky and quippy to her sister, even now.
“Can’t believe you left me as the last Zen’in! Traitor!” Now that sounded more like herself.
Mai lowered herself to her knees before setting the book down. She has come here for years to visit Maki’s grave, to talk, to update her on life, to just be next to her sister again. But it never failed to make Mai feel emotional all over again.
“Anyways I.. have some good news.” Mai darted her eyes around nervously, unsure of where to look. “I’m moving closer to the Gojo Estate! Your grandchildren convinced me.”
She cast an apologetic glance towards Yuta’s gravestone, “Sorry, Yuta..” Mai’s confident he holds no grudges though.
“It’ll be nice to be closer to family for the next couple years..” Mai traced her fingers along the heavy book she had set down, allowing her finger to flow over the characters of ‘My Life’ over and over. She couldn’t believe this huge book has followed Maki throughout so much of her life.
“-and you’ll never guess what I found while moving.”
Mai picked up the book to display it to Maki and Yuta. “This! Your husband gave it to me awhile ago, but I never got around to looking through it till now.”
She shuffled forwards until her back was now resting comfortably in between the two gravestones, as if Maki and Yuta were peering over her shoulders.
“Thought it would be nice to take a trip down memory lane…”
Mai could feel her hand shaking slightly as she peeled the cover open. The leather didn’t give way easily as this book hasn’t properly been opened in years.
The first thing to assault Mai’s senses was a thick layer of dust that somehow seeped its way in between the pages. Mai let out a powerful puff of air that sent the tiny particles flying in the other direction, granting Mai full access to the photographs laying underneath.
It was a picture of Mai and Maki. An old black and white photo taken on a too old camera. They couldn’t have been any older and five, or maybe six. Their hair was still fashioned in those short bobs with bangs and their kimonos matched. Mai could remember taking this picture when they were kids, one of the few they actually had of just them two together, they wore such goofy smiles…
‘Me and Mai’ was written underneath in sloppy handwriting. Definitely thirteen year old Maki. She was amazing at traditional calligraphy, but her notes with a pen were abysmal.
Mai ran her fingers over the glued photograph before gently turning to the next page. To Mai’s surprise, there was a stunning amount of writing and anecdotes underneath each picture.
There was another black and white photo of Naoya wrestling with another one of their cousins, but their faces were scribbled over with frowny faces and demon horns. What made Mai pause was the background, where she could see their tiny forms playing with dolls on the courtyard.
An arrow on the paper of the page pointed to the twins in the photograph. ‘Playing together! Ignore the idiots!!’
There were a couple more photos like that, sneaky ones where Maki or Mai would be hidden in the background or some foreground. One was of Maki practising the koto in the background while the main subject of the photo was their father and mother.
The writing underneath it read, ‘Mother makes me practice the koto day and night! Saying stuff like it’ll impress my future husband! I don’t want to get married to a guy like that, or get married at all!’ Maki always had a rebellious streak…
There was one of Maki finally deciding to grow out her hair. It was an embarrassingly bad photo taken on a cheap Fujifilm camera, but it had its own charm to it. Maki had to be around thirteen or twelve when she took this. The caption she handwrote underneath it read as follows, ‘I’ve finally started growing out my hair! I’m sick of the whole identical twin thing!’
Mai smiled as she remembered when Maki started making more personal style changes as they got older, wanting to separate her identity from Mai. At the time it felt like the world was ending when Maki didn’t want to stay attached at the hip to her.
Thankfully now, Mai can look back and just laugh.
Mai found her heart light as she flipped to the next page. It was a huge polaroid of the Tokyo Jujutsu Tech building. Her fingers stilled over the photograph, it must’ve been some time that passed before Maki updated the journal after she started it. Even the handwriting under the photo improved significantly with Maki’s age.
‘I want to do something for myself.’
Mai frowned just slightly. To think that there was a point in Mai’s life where she would have rather had Maki kept prisoner with her rather than letting her sister find a fulfilling life of her own was heartbreaking. Mai is always eternally grateful for the strength that Maki had to leave the Clan at only fifteen.
The page next to it had a few photos of Maki’s dorm with tons of small personalized notes and decoration ideas. Mai felt her cheeks flush happily as she read through the thoughts of the fifteen year old version of her twin sister. Apparently she wanted to install a dart board? That was laughable.
Mai turned the page again to find just one single photo that was printed and glued onto the next page. It was probably professionally taken, but Maki just had the digital version printed separately.
It was a photo of her and her classmates all posing for a group photo. It was when Maki was just a first year if the round glasses were anything to go by. She had an arm leaning on Yuta, pushing him down with a confident grin on her face. He wore a sheepish and frightened expression, his scarf huddled around him for protection. Inumaki and Panda were also there, smiling and waving to the camera.
‘These are my classmates!’ Maki put an individual arrow pointing to each person and listing their name. Yuta’s face was circled an extra few times, and had a personal bio outside of just his name. ‘This is Yuta. He’s a shrimpy kid who doesn’t even know how to properly hold a sword. I beat his ass every other day.’
Mai barked out a laugh at the description. She’s sure Maki wasn’t actually bullying the poor kid, but he was practically afraid of his own shadow back then. So anything Maki ever did to him would technically be considered bullying. It all worked out though, so no harm no foul.
Mai turned the page again to find another photo on the other side of the page, which was strange. Looking more closely at the photograph revealed that this was taken during Maki’s second school year. It had been over a year difference in the update. Maki was showing off her new bangs and glasses with the caption, ‘I haven’t been really good about updating this thing, but I have a new look for the school year.’
Maki was always so fond of messing with different hairstyles, even as an adult.
Mai then turned to the next page after there was nothing else to look at.
Blank.
Mai turned another page.
Blank.
Then another.
Blank.
Then another, and another, and another.
Blank. Blank. Blank.
Mai gasped in shock as the next dozen page turns were all left completely blank. No photos. No writing. Not even a sticker. Even the page texture felt fresh and brand new. Straight out of the crafts store.
A frown built its way up Mai’s face. What made this book so special then? Is this all Yuta was so desperate to get rid of after his wife passed? That Mai had stalled six years before ever opening…?
Mai felt defeat slowly build its way into her chest as she slowly began to close the book.
Before the flaps of the cover could fully close, there was a sticky sound of a page folding on itself, and a flash of color caught Mai’s eye.
Her hands moved faster than her brain and found herself in the smack middle of the journal. There was a single photo on the right page, labeled,
‘The best day of my life’ The handwriting was impeccable…
Mai couldn’t help the tears that pricked from her eyes as she stared at the photo. It was professionally done, of course. Maki probably went out of her way to make a personal, smaller print just for the journal.
Maki smiled brightly in her pure white shiromuku as she leaned closer to Yuta, who wore a confident and happy grin on his own face as he was dressed in the traditional black groom's wedding attire of a hakama.
Their wedding photo.
That was the best day of Maki’s life…
Wet tears stained the paper, and Mai let out a shaky breath. “Oh, Maki…”
Mai turned another page and found pictures of Yuta and Maki, mostly Yuta. They were casual in nature.
Yuta sprawled out comfortably in his yukata while laying on the engawa like a lazy cat soaking up the sun. Maki scribbled ‘you look stupid - M.’ and there was a reply right under it saying, ‘do you mean handsome? - Y.’
It seemed Yuta had officially started contributing to the journal, with his own anecdotes and everything.
There were a few more lazy photos of Yuta and even some of Maki. Seems they just couldn’t get enough of photographing one another, typical of newlyweds.
There was one of Maki as she was awkwardly shuffling out of her kimono, her shoulders bare. It was a rather intimate picture for a scrapbook..
‘Why the hell would you take this photo?! - M.’
‘You’re just so beautiful! I couldn’t resist! - Y.’
Maki continued to flip pages at lightning pace, laughing occasionally. There was so much mischief between the banter Maki and Yuta would share in the anecdotes and captions. Some remarked on the specific memory shared in the photograph, while others would insult or compliment the others artistic ability.
It was beyond charming.
Maki finally slowed her pace when turning to a specific page. There was no anecdote from Maki on this one, just Yuta writing, ‘I love you so much, Maki… - Y.’
It was a picture of a positive pregnancy test, and nothing more.
Mai smiled as she turned to the next page and saw a familiar scene. It was a picture of Yuta hugging Maki from behind, clutching her round belly affectionately while Maki squabbled and complained. Mai had taken this photo herself.
She could recall it all started when Maki had brought up maternity photos while having dinner in their small, personal dining area in the Gojo Estate, and wanted to have some professionally done. Yuta enthusiastically declared they should start now and asked Mai to retrieve his camera.
Mai practically raced to grab it as Maki screamed and howled protests. Claiming she looked unkept and far from the attractive mother to be she wanted to keep in a photograph forever. Yuta just waved her off, telling her how beautiful and womanly she looked, and that it would be such a shame not to capture her essence as it was now.
Maki threatened to pummel the man.
After some maneuvering and trickery on Yuta and Mai’s part, they were able to snap a photo of Yuta caressing Maki from behind while she wailed and flushed.
Mai loved the photo personally. Not just because she got to mess with her sister, but because it was so organic and real. It was a window into their real lives, a window that would never be replicated through stiff professional photographs.
There was a flurry of anecdotes under and around the photograph, no doubt from Maki and Yuta arguing back and forth. Mai just laughed and didn’t even bother to read any of them.
Flipping the page, she was greeted with a picture of Maki holding a baby Iori in her arms. Her face had color and warmth, so this was likely taken a few days after she gave birth. The following photos were of small moments of parenthood.
Maki breastfeeding for the first time. Yuta changing Iori’s diaper. Maki walking around the Estate with Iori strapped to her back with a special cloth. Yuta wrote ‘Adorable! ♡’ under that one.
There were even more of Iori growing up.
A picture of his height chart.
Playing with toys.
Even reading a bedtime story with Maki.
There were numerous birthday pictures.
Mai frowned and widened her eyes at the next page. “What is this…?”
The page was hanging so weakly onto the binding that it was practically falling off. Not only that, but it was smeared with ink and crumbled beyond repair. It was as if someone was angrily tearing at the paper in a fit of rage.
The photograph that was weakly glued to the page was stained with ink, partially obscuring the contents. It didn’t take much effort for Mai to remove the picture from the page, barely holding on. Mai attempted to clean what she could of the ink on the picture, but it was fruitless.
Upon closer inspection, the photograph was of Maki and Iori. Maki was sitting down while leaning back, and Iori was pressing his ear to Maki’s abdomen. There was a noticeable bump.
Mai felt a bitter taste on her tongue while looking at the photograph, no doubt Maki had destroyed what was supposed to be a page full of happy memories.
Happy memories that Maki never had a chance to make.
She could imagine Maki tearing into the paper. Spilling ink and smearing it all over the page in angry strokes, trying to erase any physical proof of what she lost. Mai could imagine her sister crying out in anger. In grief.
At what was taken from her.
Mai silently placed the photograph back into the book before flipping till she found another page of photographs. That was a difficult and ugly part of Maki’s life. She didn’t want to rehash Maki’s pain and anguish. This was supposed to be a book full of happy memories, and it was her sister’s birthday after all.
The next couple photographs were much better, it seemed a quite few years had passed in between the entries. There was a picture of Iori’s high school graduation from Kyoto Tech. His parents were smiling ear to ear while Iori looked mildly embarrassed and uncomfortable. Both Maki and Yuta were dressed to the nines. Yuta was wearing a clean modern suit while Maki fashioned a formal tomesode. There were already grey hairs glistening in their hair and there were quite a few more wrinkles than there were last.
Maki wrote ‘Our little boy - M.’ and Yuta followed up with, ‘Not so little anymore, is he? - Y.’
The next few photos showed Maki and Yuta enjoying their new found empty nest, taking vacations to Africa and Malaysia. Travelling to the Japanese countryside and photographing the wilderness and rice paddy farms. There were even a few photos of just small candid moments, of Maki sipping her tea or Yuta reading a book with his new reading glasses.
Yuta and Maki aged gradually with each page and new addition to the collection, it was sweet to see a couple grow old together through photographs. There were even a few photos of Mai in there too, often with Maki. Has she always smiled like that?
Eventually Mai flipped far enough to finally find a picture of baby Tsurugi being clutched in the arms of his grandmother, with Yuta peering happily over her shoulder.
Mai frowned, knowing that the book was nearing its end. Mai slowly flipped through the pages, which were now filled with photographs of their grandchildren.
Yuka running through the fields.
Maki carrying Tsurugi on her hip with ease as she shielded them from the sun with her parasol.
There were even a few taken by their grandchildren.
There was one of Yuta resting his head on Maki’s lap as they relaxed on the engawa, the angle off and unpracticed. The perspective of a child.
There was another one of Maki and Yuta holding hands and pointing at things they were seeing from a back view, slightly short.
There were even more pictures of the four of them together, eating dinner, playing, reading. It was like they were experiencing parenthood all over again for a second time. Mai smiled, feeling warm as her sister’s happiness radiated from the pages. It didn’t even occur to Mai that Iori was long gone by this time, but her sister was still able to find happiness.
As Mai flipped to the next page, her fingers stilled and her breath caught in her throat.
It was a single photograph.
Taken from an off angle, like the perpetrator didn't want to be caught.
It was a picture of Mai and Maki holding hands while reading. Mai could remember that day vividly. Talking about everything and nothing at all. Basking in each other's presence. It felt so light, like they were little girls playing dolls with each other again.
Underneath the photo were personal anecdotes from Maki and Yuta.
‘A couple of old grannies - Y.’
‘Who are you calling a granny?!’ - M.’
Mai smiled, her chest tight with emotion.
The final page snuck up on her faster than expected, and Mai was met with a touching scene.
It was a photograph of Maki and Yuta standing together, their bodies flushed against each other in a way that resembled their wedding photograph. Though their skin didn’t remain smooth, or their hair dark as the night sky, their smiles and love for one another stayed true.
‘My life was you. - M.’
Yuta didn’t add his own anecdote this time.
Maybe he never got a chance to…
Mai felt wrong closing the book. It felt final, like if she closed this book, Maki would truly be gone. It was ridiculous to equate someone’s entire life to a couple dozen pictures in a book, but this felt personal, it felt real.
That there was nothing left for Mai to discover or learn about her sister.
That her life had already been lived, and her story already told.
“You had a pretty good life…” Mai confessed to the soft wisteria and flowing winds.
If she listened hard enough, she swore she could hear Maki and Yuta laughing into her ears, their voices as light as silk.
Mai felt lighter, like a weight being lifted off her chest.
She finally closed the book.