Chapter Text
"So that's it? I'm just… stuck with you?"
"You're not stuck! Let's do this together! Also, you're pregnant."
"What?" Mob dropped the gun, flabbergasted. He was momentarily distracted from his… plans. "I can't be pregnant. I'm a cis man."
"Not anymore!" Verity exclaimed. "I know everything, so I know you're pregnant! We're gonna have such a great time raising a baby together!"
"This doesn't make any sense. I haven't interacted with anyone in a romantic or sexual way in several months. I have no bitches. How would this be possible?"
"Anything is possible when you're Verity!" Verity exclaimed.
"But… how? Did you impregnate me? That's not even possible, I never had sex with you and you're… a ball."
"I didn't impregnate you through sexual intercourse!" Verity explained. "I've been experimenting on how to impregnante people through particles, and you were my lucky test subject!"
"Test subject? What the hell?" Mob exclaimed. "I don't believe you."
"It's true! I know everything." Verity said. "Let me show you the ultrasound." In front of Mob appeared an ultrasound.
"That could be a random ultrasound from google images." Mob said. "There's no way it's actually-" He recoiled in shock as he took a closer look at it. There were two babies, twins. One looked normal, and the other looked to be a ball with a smiley face.
"See? It looks just like me!"
"That's just photoshop." Mob said. Suddenly, he started to feel nauseous. "Shit, I need to throw up." He ran to the bathroom, leaning over the toilet and throwing up. His eyes were closed, but as soon as he opened them, he saw a large shit combined with his puke.
"Who took a dump in this toilet?" Mob finished throwing up, closed the toilet, and flushed it. He then rinsed his mouth in the sink, and found Verity staring at him in the doorway.
"That's the morning sickness!" Verity exclaimed. "And you were the one who took a dump. Your memory sucks."
"I totally knew that, it was a rhetorical question." Mob said. "And it's not morning sickness. I just felt a bit nauseous. I still don't believe you can impregnate me."
"Then we should get you a pregnancy test!" Verity exclaimed.
"A pregnancy test? We're in Minecraft."
There's a very simple way to craft it." Verity said. "All you need is three iron nuggets and a piece of redstone."
"Right…" Mob said. He didn't really want to play along with Verity's nonsense, but part of him wondered if it was actually true, absurd as it was. "I guess I need to go mine for redstone."
"You already have five pieces of redstone in your house!" Verity exclaimed.
"Right…" Mob picked up Verity and headed home.
Mob stared at the test result in horror.
"There's no way…" He mumbled. "I'm actually pregnant."
"I told you so!" Verity exclaimed.
"Oh my god, Verity, shut up!" Mob exclaimed. "Leave me alone!"
"That must be your pregnancy hormones." Verity said. Mob would want Verity to go away, pregnancy or no pregnancy. It had nothing to do with pregnancy hormones.
What was he even supposed to do? He didn't want to have to deal with Verity. He just wanted to end it all, if that was the only way to get Verity to stop tormenting him.
But he couldn't just kill himself, not when he had a baby inside of him. Two, actually, he remembered seeing twins on the ultrasound.
It wasn't much different than an abortion. But he didn't want an abortion. It felt wrong, killing his baby like that. He was fine with other people aborting their kids, but it just didn't feel right to do it to his own.
So he just had to deal with Verity for 9 more months? And he wouldn't be able to kill himself afterwards, either, because he didn't want his kids to have a father that killed himself.
He was going to be stuck with Verity for the rest of his life. If he was lucky, he'd die soon, during childbirth, or to some random medical condition. And if he was unlucky…
If he was unlucky, he'd have to live like this for the rest of his life.
"Mob? You've been zoned out for 30 seconds and 43 miliseconds."
"Sorry." Mob said, coming back to reality.
"Anyway, we need to make preperations for the birth." Verity said. "A baby shower and gender reveal party are essential."
"Party? Who are we even going to invite? Grox?"
"Of cooourse!" Verity exclaimed. "I'm fine with a bit of company, as long as they don't get too close. And I have another idea. A special guest of sorts. You're gonna love seeing him again."
A special guest? Who could Verity be talking about?
"What even are the genders of the babies?" Mob asked. "I didn't look too closely at the ultrasound."
"Mob, the thing about gender reveal parties is that they're supposed to be a surprise." Verity said.
"But I'm the one carrying the baby. Shouldn't I know?"
"It's more interesting if you don't." Verity said. "Anyway, we need to prepare. Come on, let's make some sheep farms. We're gonna need a lot of pink and blue wool."
"Yeah…" Mob picked up Verity, carrying him outside. He had to find some sheep.
Because he was doing a gender reveal party. Because he was pregnant.
Verity had impregnated him. What the hell was he supposed to do now?