Work Text:
Car Crisis! (...maybe)
The group was walking on the road, barely being able to dodge oncoming cars.
Well, why, you ask? Because they came back from getting ice cream, right after the groceries. Yeah, the day was loaded with things. They probably aren’t even halfway through the list!
Tom groaned, leaning by the ‘no Speeding’ sign as a car basically flew by. “When are we ever going to get home?”
Tord leaned in close, grinning. “Why do you even ask, jehovah?”
Tom knew damn well stupid Tord had forgotten the thing that happened a few hours before. He was being a smug idiot.
While Tom was busy bickering with Tord, Edd noticed something important. “Uh, hey guys… Where’d Matt go?”
The two stopped fighting and looked around the area. Matt was nowhere to be seen.
“Great. We waste our time out here, only to waste even MORE time to find that idiot.” Tom huffed.
Tord waves his hand, “Okay, come on, guys. Let’s find Matt.” Edd nodded. “Can’t leave him out on his own! He could get run over. Maybe.” His eyes narrowed across the street.
Tom grumbled, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “Amazing. We’re going to find Matt because he’s utterly stupid and wandered off. Hooray.”
Tord pokes at the brit’s face. “Why so whiny? Getting tired already?” Tom gritted his teeth. “If you don’t shut that mouth of yours, I’ll push you into the road.”
Tord backs away. “Hah, only if you can catch me!” He sprints, stopping once he got a few steps ahead of Edd.
Edd mumbled. “That’s weird. I wonder where we lost Matt.”
A whole sidewalk behind them, Matt was staring at his mirror, wondering why it was shining instead of reflecting.
Back with the group, Tom grew frustrated, pacing. “That idiot couldn’t possibly lag that far behind! If he did, the heat just fried his remaining braincells.”
Edd stared back at him, “Well… Yes, but will you two help? We can’t lose him.”
Tord stopped, slowly turning to the two. “Maaybe, we can use a tracking missile so we can find him!”
Tom deadpanned, “That’s unbelievably stupid. I’ll just go home, you guys go find–”
Edd grabbed Tom’s arm before he could walk off. “Please, you can’t just leave us, besides…” Edd looks around for a reasonable excuse. “We need more eyes on him! Fast, the ice cream’s melting!”
Tom blinked. “Fine. Hope it’s worth it.” Tord shouted, scanning the road behind. “Yay, grumpy-pants is FINALLY going to help!”
Tord spins around, spotting Matt in the distance. “Hey! Matt!” He calls out, which causes a nearby car to honk at them. Tom flinches. “Shut up, will you?!”
Matt perks up, pointing at his mirror, “Hey, guys my mirror’s malfunctioning!” he shouts. Edd squints at him. “Your mirror’s what now?!”
Tom groans loudly. “Your mirror is NOT malfunctioning! Can we go home?!”
Tord notices the repetition of Tom asking to go home. He’s practically been whining since they got out. To Tord, this was the perfect opportunity to tease him.
Tord rests his chin on Tom’s shoulder from behind. “What’s got you so desperate to get back, huh?”
Tom freezes, brushing Tord off. “Uh, none of your business commie. Go blow up a car or something.”
Edd looks at the ice-cream in the bag. “It’s so close to melting, why don’t we just eat it now?” Matt finally catches up to them and looks at the bag.
Tom just stares at Edd and Matt, inspecting the melting bag of ice cream. “Oh no,” he thought, “Now we don’t get to run home. They’re going to plan something stupid, and we’ll be out even longer.”
Edd points to a nearby park. “We could hang out over there!” Matt nods absent-mindedly, pulling out his mirror. “Oh, my mirror’s working again!”
Tord smirks, “Cool, and we could have a picnic too!” Tom scowls like an angry cat. “You’re doing this on purpose.”
Tord’s manic smile widens. “Doing what on purpose?” Tom’s hands dig deeper into his pockets. “I hate you. You’re the worst, commie.”
They start heading towards the park, Tord and Matt have already started eating their ice-cream. “Oh, it’s so good you guys have to try it!” Matt beams, barely paying attention to the road.
Edd chuckles, “Yeah. But it’s so good you aren’t even watching where you walk!”
The group finally reaches the park. Tom heads for a bench, sitting down and pulling his hoodie over his head. Tord sits next to him, leaning on his shoulder. “Hey, witness, wanna hear a joke?”
Tom glared straight at him. “No,” he said, shoving Tord’s ice-cream in his face. Tord sputtered, “Hey! You can’t do that!”
Tord wipes the ice cream off his face, then grins.
Touches Tom’s hoodie.
Tom gives Tord a death stare.
Edd watches their interaction, sitting on the opposite bench from them with Matt. “Do you think they’re getting along or fighting?” Matt looks, “...Depends.”
Tom got up from the seat. “That’s it! You go have my ice-cream I don’t want to eat it!” He walked away, fuming.
Matt whispers to Edd, “Okay, they’re fighting.”
Edd nods, “Wait, I'd better get Tom before we lose him, too.” he chases after Tom, who barely misses walking into a speeding car.
“Tom! Watch out!” Edd screams. Tom slowed to a halt. “Watch out for wha–” The car passes, inches away from his face. Tom’s eyes widened. “Oh, that.”
Edd grabs Tom by the string on his hoodie. “Okay, you can’t leave us anymore! You all can’t! Stay here!”
Tom clenches his fists. “But–” Edd retorts, “No buts, Tom, you and Matt almost got lost, and maybe Tord too! You all stay here.”
Tom’s eye twitches. “Fine. Staying here.” Tord skips over to them, holding the two ice cream cones while sticking his tongue out.
“You look like an ABSOLUTE IDIOT.” Tom muttered. “You looked like an idiot walking into a car!” Tord says, giving him a smug look.
“Anyway, wanna lick my ice cream?” he said, holding it upside down in front of Tom’s face. “Ew.” Tom scoffed, pushing Tord’s hand away.
Matt looked up, “Wait, how does he get a second one?”
Tord’s grip slipped, and he accidentally dropped the cone onto Tom’s shoes.
“Oops!” Tord mumbled, watching Tom slowly lift his head while he started licking the other ice-cream in his hand.
Tom picks up the cone and chucks it at Tord’s face, “You stupid communist, why would you do that?!”
Tom tripped over his shoelace as he got up, and Tord started giggling, “Hah! Tom, you’re killing me!”
Edd just sighs and leans back on the bench, watching as they continue fighting.
Tom pushes Tord, causing him to stumble backward, but it only makes him laugh more. The fight was so chaotic that it was genuinely hilarious to him.
Tom’s shoelace got caught in the bench, which left him struggling to get up. “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, TORD!” He squirmed, trying to get his foot free.
Matt crouched down next to Tom, “I’m going to help you, Tom! Stop moving!” Tord wheezed, “Yeah, because you look like a fish!”
Now, Matt has no idea how to untangle anything.
Matt ties Tom’s shoelace tighter.
“MATT! You idiot!” Tom screeches, his fingers digging deep into the ground. He looks like he’d pounce on Matt if he could.
Edd sits upright, looking confused. “Did you guys feel that?” His eyes dart up to the sky. There were clouds, and lots of them.
“Ah, it’s going to rain…” Edd surveys the area, noticing they’re one of the few people still there. “I guess we didn’t realize.”
The rain starts pouring faster.
“Agh, crap. We have to go now.” Tom bristled, glaring up at the sky. “This world doesn’t want to put up with you all as much as I do.”
Matt tilted his head, “What do you mean?”
“Anyways, the rain’s getting to heavy to run back… I’m afraid we’d slip on the road.” Edd sighs.
“How would that even happen?! Ugh…” Tom muttered as the rain fell on his face.
Tord jeered, “Now the witness can’t whine about going home!” he crouches down to the blueberry and gives him a pat on the head.
“Get your filthy hands off me, hentai lover.” Tom said through gritted teeth. Tord’s hand hovered over Tom’s head. “That’s new.”
Edd frantically scans the surroundings. “Guys, come on! The rain’s to heavy for us to be sitting around here!” he points to a nearby shade.
Tom was still on the ground, gripping the grass like anything would change. The rain was freezing. Despite having a hoodie he still shivered.
He wasn't just shivering from the cold. He needed to pee since they first left the grocery store, and being stuck on the wet grass was making it a million times worse.
There was no way in hell he would admit that to Tord.
Tom grabbed Edd by his green hoodie, pulling him down and whispering through gritted teeth. “Edd. Cut the shoe. Now. I’ve needed to pee since the supermarket.”
Edd’s eyes went wide. “Oh... Oh. Guys, we need to move NOW!”
Tord squinted at them, suspicious. “What did blueberry just whisper to you?”
“Nothing!” Edd panicked, grabbing Tom’s leg. With a huge heave, Edd didn’t even try to untangle the knot, he just yanked Tom’s foot straight out of the shoe entirely.
“My shoe!” Tom yelped, stumbling up on one socked foot.
“No time, run!!” Edd screamed, grabbing Tom’s arm and sprinting toward the shade of the park pavilion.
“Wait for me! My hair is getting deflated!” Matt shrieked, bolting right behind them.
Tord stood by the bench for a second, looking at Tom’s abandoned shoe which was still tied to the wood.
Then he looked up at Tom doing a weird, frantic, limping run toward the bathroom. Tord’s eyes lit up as he realized exactly what was happening.
“HAH! JEHOVAH NEEDS TO PEE!” Tord howled with laughter, chasing after them. “Hey! Wait up! Don’t slip on the way to the toilet!”
They all slammed into the park pavilion, completely drenched. Tom didn’t even look back as he went straight through the restroom door, slamming it shut behind him.
Edd collapsed onto a picnic bench, wiping rain from his face. “Well... at least we made it to shade.”
Matt was aggressively shaking rainwater out of his orange hair. “Look on the bright side, Edd! My mirror got washed!”
Tord dumped the grocery bag onto the table, pulling out a completely squished, half-melted cone. He took a giant bite anyway, grinning like a maniac. “Best. Day. Ever.”
From inside the bathroom, Tom shouted through the vents. “I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING, COMMIE! I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU WHEN I GET OUT!”
Edd just sighs and leans back on the bench, watching as the storm continues outside. Yep. Just another normal day.
