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How do you call someone you grow up with? No sibling, no cousin, not even a distant member of your tribe? Someone who does not look like you, act like you but still became something close to the heart over time? Like two young wolves of different fur forming a pack to survive a cruel winter. There is no term to describe that bond.
On the other hand, there are many names for the one ending your life. Murderer, killer, executioner, slayer, slaughterer, deathbringer.
That night in the snow they were the same.
Jude sat by the campfire members of his delegation had lit. Him and ten others had been sent to protect the nearby monastery where a goblet of high value to the king was kept. Rumours of a new raid had made their rounds and apparently the northmen were after the relic. They had attacked several times over the last years and the villagers told stories about a pale bear walking on two legs among them. A wild beast that took human form, killing men and horses alike.
“Thinking about those stupid tales again. Jude?”, Harry asked with a smirk and handed him an ale before lowering himself next to him. “Just some gossip told by farmers who are impressed by anyone holding a sword properly. They would sing songs about you too if they had seen you fight… well maybe if you were not standing next to me!”, Harry kept on laughing and patted him on the shoulder.
“Do you think it is really him?”, Jude asked after a moment, ignoring Harrys teasing which made the older one sigh to himself.
“Even if it is him. What difference does it make? You are a knight of the king now, he is just an oversized coward who ran when he had the chance to prove true greatness.”, Harry answered dismissively.
Jude pushed his hand away from his shoulder after that comment. “He chose his ancestors, his father, how could I reproach him for that?”
Harry stood up then, holding both hands in front of his chest as a sign of defence. “Just saying… you should look forward to slay those bastards like the rest of us does. I heard there is a nice bounty-“
He was interrupted by a rustling along the treeline. Snow fell from the shrubbery as if animals were crawling around the underwood. Still, it was enough for experienced knights to suspect danger.
Judes hand went towards his sword when a single arrow flew precisely in front of his feet. He did not even hear Harry shouting that they are under attack, or his comrades draw their weapons. His eyes were focused on the group of northmen, roughly the size of theirs, who emerged from the edge of the clearing. Like ghosts manifesting from the white vastness of the wintery woods.
That was when he saw him.
Taller even than when he had called these lands home years ago. Blonde hair long down his neck, bear fur thrown over his shoulders like a trophy and those piercing eyes of a predator who has his teeth already slashed into the prey.
But underneath still the boy who used to joke about them serving an army together one day.
Erling…
And suddenly Jude realized that the youngling his village had taken in as a ward all those years ago was running towards his order with a giant two hand axe in his grip and bloody intend.
He did not remember getting on his feet nor did he remember calling out as loud as he could that he would challenge their strongest fighter to a duel. He could not witness Erling cutting down one of his mates and he could not see him dying by another hand than his for he would have to take that man’s life too.
Just then Erling noticed him and signalled his allies to stop a few meters away from the camp. The giant studied his once friend curiously and tilted his head.
“Jude, what is up with you? A duel?! We have orders!”, Harry hissed and shoved him slightly, but Jude drew his sword and held it towards his leader. With conviction he spoke.
“He is mine to kill or no one’s.”, he growled and Harry stepped back.
Erling smirked at that and stepped forward, axe in hands.
“Jude.”
“Erling.”
The others made space and the two combatants started circling each other.
“I did not expect meeting you here. You came far, I see. The armour suits you.”, Erling said, his eyes not leaving him. Jude was not sure if he meant it teasingly but the grip on his sword tightened.
“Does this not remind you of the one winter we fought off that wolf?”, Jude asked and he was not sure why he had that question, but it snowed back then and it was snowing now and Erling was here.
Said one huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I remember you running.”
“I was just taking a run-up.”, Jude answered grinning and it was equal parts memory and tragedy. He charged.
Physically the northman was far superior. He was taller and stronger. One placed strike with the monstrous axe of his and Jude would be on the ground. But he was faster and more importantly… he knew his opponent well. Better than anyone else.
One brutal slash of that axe after another hit the ground and split the earth beneath their feet. Jude managed to escape them less confidently each time. From the outside it looked like a snake trying to snap a rabbit, but the snake was holding back. Why was he holding back?
Jude dodged another strike and rolled over the ground when he saw an opening. Erling took a little too long to free his weapon from the fangs of the frosty ground and the knight pushed close. In the last possible second the northerner blocked his sword by pulling the handle of his axe in front of his chest. They were close now and Jude could see something in the other one’s eyes while they were pushing their blades against each other. Hesitation.
“You could have ended this by now.”, Jude groaned putting all his strength into the push of his sword.
“What are you talking about?”, Erling said enraged and shoved him away with a huff.
“Please.”, the knight laughed bitterly as he gathered himself and his weapon. “You always were the stronger one. Why are you hesitating?”
Erling had no immediate answer to that. He gritted his teeth and let his axe fly again. More aggressive this time but not more targeted. “Maybe it is the same reason why you wanted this duel and not the open fight.”
It was steel on steel now and Jude wondered whether his blade or his wrists would break first under the sheer force of the strikes he had to parade.
Like it was in battle, the closer death is, the thinner the veil, the harder becomes deception.
“It didn’t have to turn out this way.”, Jude pressed out in-between heavy breaths. He was down to one knee now, desperation in his voice as he looked up to the giant that was lifting his axe. It caused him to stop his motion for a split second before becoming the executioner again.
“There never was a future for us, you know that.”, Erling responded and Jude was sure that the northman hesitated, even now.
That was all he needed.
In a split second he was off the ground and led his sword right through the giants’ guts. A silent shocked grunt escaped Erlings lips as his eyes widened in surprised and went to the blade piercing him. His raised arms began to shake, and he lost his axe before dropping to the ground together with Jude still holding his sword.
They knelt in front of each other, the snow slowly turning red from the blood Erling was losing. Judes hands were trembling as he did not manage to let go of the blade. Tears streamed down his face while Erling tried to form a bitter smile. Red streaks started to flow from the corners of his mouth, still he managed to grin.
“You idiot!”, Jude screamed. “Why did you leave?! We could have fought together! Side by side!” He finally let go of his sword and took Erling’s face in both of his hands. He did not even see the blood now staining them both and he would not care even if he did. “We could have been brothers!”, he shouted even though they were mere inches apart.
Erling chuckled weakly. “That never was enough for us, was it?”, he whispered and his head fell forward so that their foreheads were touching as he let out his last breath.