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Barry had managed to sneak away from the festivities for an hour, something about flash stuff that he thought they’d buy. No-one seemed to mind what with Iris and Joe busy cooking and Cisco, Caitlin and Wally busy drinking and playing games.
Barry entered the safe house and saw Len standing there, looking ridiculously handsome as always save the ridiculous Christmas jumper that Lisa no doubt made him wear. He had also slipped away for a quiet moment with Barry, at one of his smaller safe houses, away from any prying eyes of the Rogues.
“Merry Christmas Len,” Barry said stepping closer and pulling the other into a tight embrace.
Len inhaled Barry’s scent deeply and replied with a, “Merry Christmas Scarlet.”
They kissed deeply for a few moments, finally breaking apart to sit on the sofa, just holding each other close. This was the first Christmas where Barry actually had a partner, he just wished he could make Len known to his family, but the time wasn’t quite right yet.
“Len, I know we’re not doing gifts but I just wanted to you to know you’re the best present I could have ever received and i… I love you,” Barry said quietly, nervous that Len might not feel the same. Barry knew when he fell, he fell hard and fast. So he didn’t mind if Len wasn’t there yet. Him just being here now was enough.
Len was still and quiet, face neutral. “Barry, I, I really care about you a lot, I just-”
Barry gently took Len’s hands in his. “You don’t have to say it too, it’s totally okay, I just wanted to tell you how I felt. I’m not looking for reciprocation if you’re not there.”
Len looked up at him, seeing the wide smile on Barry’s face. Len took a breath to speak but was cut off again. “Really it’s okay,” Barry reassured.
Len didn’t say anything else but he did remove his hands from Barry's gentle grasp to hold his face and kiss him deeply. Expressing what he couldn’t with words.
Too soon their time was up and each had to go back to their respective gatherings for food and merriment. Len promised to see Barry tomorrow though.
Boxing Day came and went and Barry hadn’t heard anything from Len. He tried his phone tried to find him, but nothing. Barry knew he’d jump into this too fast and scare Len off. Len had probably left the city as soon as he could, unable to deal with Barry's confession. Barry didn’t want to accept that that was the truth but after a week of no response from Len he started to accept it. Even Lisa didn’t know where he’d gone, but she said it wasn’t unusual for Len to up and go without a word.
That made Barry feel even worse. That Len didn’t even care enough to say anything. Barry didn’t understand how this could happen, the few months they’d spent together had been the best of his life. How could Len not feel the same? Why didn’t he run before now?
What made it worse was that no-one knew. He couldn’t talk to anyone about this. About how much he was hurting that Len could treat him what way. Eventually he had to confide in Iris and she didn’t berate him or get angry, she sat and listened and understood. Barry wasn’t in the right mind set for anyone’s anger and that’s not what he needed anyway. He was hurting and needed a friend.
It didn’t really ease the pain though, he loved Len so deeply that it was a part of him and he’d never stop loving him. Even as the months passed and it was once again nearing Christmas. Barry enjoyed Christmas but since what happened last year he wasn’t really in the Christmas spirit. He joined in with putting up the tree and hanging lights but the light behind his eyes and bright smile had faded somewhat.
A knock came on the door on Christmas eve, Joe had popped out for some last minute supplies and it was only Barry there as the other’s hadn’t arrived yet.
“Merry Christmas Scarlet.”
Barry stood stock still, unable to process any of this. How? Why? WHAT THE HELL?! Questions and emotions flooded his brain and it all came rushing back, that love and passion and fire he felt for the man standing in the doorway.
Barry didn’t know how to feel, he should feel angry, humiliated and used, betrayed but then he was being pulled into a searing kiss and none of it mattered. Len was here, here with Barry and that was all he ever wanted. His mouth was being pressed to Len’s and he was being told “I love you” over and over again, between kisses.
“I love you Barry so much.”
Barry finally pulled away and swallowed, getting his breath back. He tried to form a sentence but nothing was working so he wrapped his arms around Len’s neck once again and kissed him.
That was how Joe found them, although he didn’t recognise Len from behind. As soon as Joe cleared his throat Barry had zipped then up to his room and come back to answer Joe, telling him he would explain everything he just needed to talk to the man in his room first. Joe accepted and told Barry it better be good.
When they were alone Len told Barry how sorry he was, all about Rip Hunter and the Waverider, how Rip came for him and Mick and he didn’t get a chance to say goodbye or tell anyone before he was hopping across space and time. How he hated what had happened and his time on the ship only made him deepen his feelings and miss Barry that much more. Len told him he would never ever leave without a goodbye and would never leave Barry again anyway. That was done, playing time masters. Him and Mick had finally got sick of Rip’s bad plans and had taken the jump ship back home, they couldn’t go back to the time they’d originally left but a year later was better than nothing.
Barry instantly felt so bad that he thought Len had willingly left him. He told Len how he felt after that day. Len told Barry that if he had left with no reason, then those feelings would have been completely justified so not to feel bad. He would felt the same if he’d have given his heart to someone and the next day they’d left without a word.
Barry mentioned that he was worried he’d scared Len off but Len reassure him that he never had a plan to leave just wasn’t quite able to say the words “I love you” yet.
But he’d been through too much not to say them now. He repeated it to Barry over and over, seeing Barry’s eyes light up and that brightness Len loved so much return to his features.
Two hours later Barry finally emerged from his room. The other’s had all arrived by now so he wasn’t quite sure how to go about this. Taking Joe to the side first, Barry tried to condense everything about his and Len’s relationship into a couple of sentences. Joe promised not to kick him out and that if he was here he could stay but all of them would be having a long chat as soon as possible.
The only thing left then was to finally introduce Len to everyone as Barry’s boyfriend.
Barry was so happy and content in the fact that this year his heart was held by someone very special indeed and Len would never give that away.