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Bob stared out across the New York skyline, his thoughts racing faster than the ceaseless whir of the Manhattan traffic.
He was feeling many emotions. Too many to put into words.
One of the reasons he was happy that he ended up in New York, beyond the obvious of his newfound friends and family, plus one blonde Avenger whom he had grown quite close with over the past fourteen months (irregardless of the fact he was upset with her right now), was that life moved as fast as his brain seemed to think. Neurons fired as fast as a man on a bicycle would whiz past on the street. Thoughts came and went like the yellow cabs that matched his suit.
For the past twelve hours, even amongst the discussions between people he was unfamiliar with, everything had seemed eerily quiet. Ava wasn’t banging on the pots and pans as she would phase out of the kitchen with a late night meal. Walker wouldn’t be practicing on the range.
Even Alexei had been shockingly quiet over the past half-day - that was when he knew this was serious.
Whatever the former Captain America and this Dr. Reed Richards guy were discussing - it almost sounded like the Baptist prophets that would come on TV begging for money when his mom would pass out in the living room - it had to be a dire situation.
Like, worse than Void.
They wouldn’t have made him dig this old piece out of the closet if it weren’t…
He looked down at his Sentry suit - refined and tailored by Mel to actually fit him. She did a fine job, though the wristguards were still too tight, like the tuxedos he had to wear when accompanying the New Avengers to charities and parties. He despised those.
He despised most of this.
What he hated most, though he would never admit it for he knew how selfish it was of him, was how little he had seen of Yelena.
Ever since Steve Rogers, Thor, and Reed Richards had shown up in that spaceship, she had been rightfully discerned as the leader and whisked away to the private conversations about universe - multiverse - ending threats. The word “Doom” had almost lost all its meaning to him from listening in.
It wasn’t like he was excluded personally.
But… they did bring in Bucky later on… and then later, this other guy, Scott, just waltzed right in. Then Shang-Chi. Then the Wakandans…
It got harder and harder to not take it personally.
Then, he finally did get brought in, but only after-
“Hi Bob.”
Bob turned around on his heel to see his favorite person leaning against the wall.
“H-Hey.” He gave her a small wave. His smile, which was forced enough, didn’t meet his eyes.
She looked beautiful. Even with her tired eyes, which had been wide open since Tuesday morning, they were as crystalline as ever. Her hair was tousled from her Tresemme spray wearing off and constantly running her hand through it. It parted slightly down the middle; she must have been using her right hand. It didn’t look like that when she fiddled with it with her left hand.
It was now Wednesday, he thought; all bad things happen on goddamned Wednesdays…
Yelena walked over to him, trying to give an encouraging smile of her own. It was hard to keep looking at her; of course, not for her personally. But when he did, he worried he would burst out into tears or make some sort of other inappropriate remark.
This was bigger than him - bigger than them, even. He had to put anything he felt about it to the side. The universe was dying, and she was one of the only ones who could save it.
Of course.
She finally made it to stand parallel to him, and as she joined him in staring out across the glowing hub of the big apple, she took his hand without fear and clasped it into her own. Bob was so grateful for the touch, he almost groaned.
It was the only sound between them for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry,” Yelena finally said.
“For what?” Bob didn’t mean for it to come out like how it did, sounding almost bitter. He was so tired, too.
Yelena looked up at him. She hadn’t looked this distraught in a long time.
“For not getting you in there sooner,” she said, completely sincere. “I mean it. I would’ve felt a lot better with you by my side. But the men would not stop talking - ‘Doom’ this, ‘incursion’ that… it was so overwhelming.”
Bob tried to act like he didn’t feel as if the apology was owed. “It’s fine,” he insisted, fully meaning to sound sincere. It sounded dry. He pinched his brow in regret.
Yelena tugged on his arm just enough to indicate she wanted to look at him - all of him.
He turned on his toes and finally gazed down at her. She was even more gorgeous up close. Her tactical suit was easily the best designed, in his opinion; an objective fact according to InStyle as well. She kept it largely the same after the whole debacle with Valentina and the press, and he was so glad she did. When he saw her in it, it was like she was born to be a superhero.
He felt the exact same when he would see her in sweatpants or one of his old shirts he didn’t mind losing, so maybe his judgment wasn’t the best there, but he kept that opinion. Even now, when the carnal parts of him wanted nothing more than to let her know just how badly this had hurt his feelings, he still felt the same as when he first saw her.
This woman would never hurt me on purpose.
“What can I do to make it up to you?”
She was fully sincere.
He would be too.
“Don’t go with them.”
It sounded like he was begging.
He was.
He knew she’d be leaving on that rocket to go back to Earth-828. If any of them were going, and he had a billion dollars to take to a casino, he’d put all his chips down on their fearless leader being the one that Steve Rogers said needed to come with them. He wondered if he was doing it just because she reminded him of his former colleague.
Her sister. Natasha.
They had talked a lot about Natasha on the sleepless nights. He would’ve liked to have met her; she really sounded lovely.
And, because of this, he knew Yelena Belova decently well now.
And he knew she would likely be one of the first to die.
Not because she couldn’t fight; god, if anyone could fight on this team, it was her. The demons she had conquered and all she had done just to save New York alone - to save him when he was still fundamentally a stranger to her - unquestionably made her the strongest member of their team.
She was still just a woman with a gun.
Could probably do more than that Scott guy, to be fair. (He really needed to let go of that beef, Bob realized; he seemed quite nice.)
But if a literal god was terrified of the threat that this cohort was charging head-first to take on, carrying with him thousands of years of life and an unbreakable weapon forged in a dying star, Bob felt it was well within his right to fear for his person when she could still be taken out by a bullet.
Yelena sighed. He knew this response was coming.
“You know I can’t do that,” she said softly.
Her voice cracked. It broke his heart. Any malice he had felt, no matter how much it could have been deserved, instantly faded and was replaced by all the hurt that finally had a proper place to go.
“They need me,” she continued, wiping her nose and sucking in a deep breath as she stared at her boots for the entire time she spoke. “And our home needs someone to protect it. I trust no one to do that more than you, Bob.”
“And I’m honored, Yelena,” he said, finally finding his voice, “but speaking freely, if you’re not here, I don’t give a shit about this earth.”
“I will be back.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
“And I will gladly accept those terms.”
“And what if you break them?”
Yelena’s head snapped up. “Bob… what are you saying?”
Bob scoffed - not at her, but at the whole situation. It was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.
“T-These bastards,” he points out of the room to where he hopes that Steve Rogers is listening, “show up with some story about how their god emperor toddler got kidnapped, and because of that very personal issue, the universe is colliding with parallel worlds and they need the help of a bunch of jokers, plus the most important person in my life - mainly her, instead of the phasing one who could tank a nuclear bomb or the old ‘Will he? Won’t I?’-”
“That is extremely offensive, Bob.”
“Are the only ones who can stop it.” He turned around to laugh, feeling his cape’s weight flutter against Yelena. “W-Why us?! Why’d they have to bother us with this? We were fine! D-Did you see any signs of that, god, ‘incursion’ Doc was talking about? I didn’t! And I stare at the sky all day like a useless blob of cells!”
“It’s not about us, Bob!” Yelena rebutted. “We promised to help people!”
“What good are we to our own world if we die for another that’s already, apparently, at death’s door?”
“You don’t know that we can’t save their world.” Despite how calm she was trying to remain, he could see her getting mad.
He wanted to reproach himself, tape his mouth shut. and never open it again for daring to raise his voice in her presence, but his magnificent outburst was already in motion.
“The last thing I want is for you to die for someone else’s sake. You almost did it for me, and that was a mis-”
“I have told you, and I mean it: I would do it all over again,” she hissed, her bottom lip quivering as she restrained her hands behind her back. She knew it would not be wise to point at him - not after the horror stories from Sarasota Springs. “Without. Hesitation.”
“I don’t want you to!” Bob insisted. “I-I wouldn’t let Void lay a finger on you, even if I’m not in control! I don’t know what these people want, hahaha - they-they all could be green aliens in disguise that wear purple spandexes, a-and want sacrifices for this Doom guy!”
“Oh, so you think I’m trying to get myself killed here?” Yelena asked, looking more indignant than he had even seen her when she yelled at the team for stepping out of line or stupidly trying to be their own hero. He had always wondered what those lectures had felt like, and now, he finally got what he was almost certain was the worst one of them all. “You really want to levy that accusation against me?”
“No, I-”
“I tried to kill myself on four separate occasions before I met you, so you may not know what that looks like for me, but this is not it!” Yelena finally raised her voice. “Goddamnit, I will do anything to keep our world safe, Bob - it’s a debt I need to repay! Even if that means putting myself in danger, as I’ve done a thousand times before now!”
“You don’t get it…” Bob felt a terrific migraine beginning to throb behind his right eye. The pain would’ve triggered his laser vision if he wasn’t careful.
“Oh, what don’t I get?” Yelena asked, sounding as sincere as she did furious. “Tell me, please.”
Bob finally erupted, “If I lose you, I don’t have any reason to live anymore!!”
The room went completely silent.
Their shared breath is all they can hear.
For a moment, it seems like the soundproofing technology inside the WatchTower has malfunctioned, and the traffic that never quite goes away can be heard ninety-nine floors beneath them. The voices of the pedestrians, hypnotized by their phones or conversing with those around them in blissful unawareness of the peril all their lives are racing towards like an asteroid bounding through space, and the horns of the passing cars, so angry about a matter that will seem trivial and be completely forgotten when they see what’s coming…
It’s too much for him.
He managed to face Yelena again. The anger on her face is replaced with deep concern that reaches far beyond a gesture or expression. He can almost see right through to her soul and watch it shatter along with her heart.
He hurt her… So badly…
Like he always did. With everyone. The universe was just merciful enough to prolong that hurt until now; likewise, the universe was cruel enough to prolong that hurt until now.
He felt awful for making her feel that way. He never wanted to hurt her at all.
“Fuck,” Bob whispered, suddenly losing Yelena behind the blurry glass of tears that welled in his eyes. “I-I’m s-s-so sorry.”
“Oh my god, Bob,” Yelena sounded so heartbroken. “Come here, baby.”
She pulled him into the tightest hug he had ever received, and he clung to her like if he let go, every anxiety and dread he had ever carried about Yelena leaving or getting hurt or even dying would all come true at once. He held her so tight that he was worried he might crush her bones under his incalculable grip.
But however tightly he held onto her, she gripped him even harder.
Her arm went underneath his cape. One of her hands stayed on his neck, and she removed her glove to deepen the skin contact, as he sobbed helplessly into her shoulder.
“I know, I know,” Yelena assured him. He felt a tear slip down onto his cheek that was cooler than the ones that spilled from his own eyes, and his hurt compounded tenfold when he felt her crying against him. “I’m so sorry…”
“I-I’m sorry,” Bob kept repeating through his sobs as he gripped onto Yelena’s hair with as light a touch as his despair would allow. “I’m so sorry… I-It’s all my fault…”
“You will never lose me, honey… I promise you.”
She pressed the most feathery kiss to his cheek, stained with a day’s worth of stubble that could’ve prevented him from feeling the contact if he didn’t know the exact texture of her lips, but he knew their patterns anywhere. A deep sigh of pleasure, revelation, and every emotion he had cycled through in their fight, escaped his own lips between choked sobs.
He didn’t know how long his agony lasted. It could have been days.
But Yelena never let go of him.
She didn’t loosen her grip. She never broke contact.
He knew how hard it was for her to maintain this. Those first few times they had experimented with intimacy had left both of them a little terrified of what their future would look like together, and it still worried him that he would escalate too fast just because he was so eager to finally have something to share with someone so special - someone that seemed eager to return his love in her own way. But they had figured it out, however long it had taken…
They got it the fourth time.
About ten minutes in.
…Exactly ten minutes and fifteen seconds in, actually.
Bob’s convulsions continued for almost that long, he realized, and when he finally felt okay to pull back slightly from Yelena to assure him it had passed, only then did she let even a little bit of room come back between them.
Her makeup was ruined.
“O-Oh, shit, uh,” Bob frantically took a corner of his cape and gently dabbed her face. “I… I-I didn’t mean to-”
Yelena giggled. His heart felt like it had a full renovation done as soon as that glorious sound filled his ears. “You are such a gentleman, you know that?”
“Well, can’t let you go off into battle without your Sunday best,” Bob said, before squinting his red eyes and letting one last tear fall in his own confusion. “That… T-That was totally… Uhm…”
Yelena gently pulled his hand onto her lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. His cheeks reddened profusely. “I won’t go if you really want me to stay.”
“Of course I want you to stay,” Bob muttered.
He finally worked up the courage of his own to press a kiss to her forehead. She sucked in a breath with a sound he felt so blessed to be familiar with as she looked down to their now clasped hands.
“But,” he continued, “they need someone who knows what they’re doing. And, no offense to ex-Captain Rogers, but… I kinda think you were the only one with any sense in that meeting room.”
Yelena huffs, and he could sense a smile on her lips as their foreheads touched. They still hadn’t looked at each other again, but he felt their energies matching once more. It was all he needed to know, beyond any shadow of doubt, she would be able to handle herself.
“I will come back to you,” she said, moving one of her hands up to tilt his chin so their eyes met once more. “I swear on my sister’s grave, and the life she lived.”
Bob gulped back more tears. He knew that was a promise that carried the weight of galaxies.
“And you will be here when I return,” Yelena continued, “so we can… I don’t know. Escape to California for a proper vacation, or something like that.”
Now, it was Bob’s turn to giggle. “Fourteen months, and only now do we start planning a vacation?”
Yelena smiled warmly, thrilled to see the Bob she knew was always there come back out. “Now is as good a time as any, I believe. We have to plan for the future so it can come true.”
“Yeah…” Bob sighed deeply. “I’ve been so selfish, babe. I’m sorry, Yelena.”
“I would not have it any other way,” Yelena insisted.
“Then… Can I be a bit more selfish?”
“Mmmhm…”
“Let’s go watch the sunrise,” Bob said, looking back out of the window. The first strokes of dawn were beginning to paint the horizon above America’s sleepless city. “They can wait for you to get one more in before you head out.”
Yelena smiled, intertwining her fingers with his. “Lead the way. You know our spot.”
Indeed he did.
~0~0~0~
Bob stared out across the New York skyline, his thoughts at a pleasant snail’s pace.
His feet swayed over the ledge of the jet bridge. Next to him, a shorter pair - a prettier pair - of legs dangled in the same fashion.
His head was resting on Yelena’s shoulder, and she was playing with his hair with one hand, and rubbing over his free hand with her other. His hand also ran through her hair, attempting to untangle the crispy strands that had clumped together through the night and into the morning.
His eyes turned to glance at her instead of the sun.
She was prettier than the sun.
She would always be prettier than the sun.
Bob pressed a kiss into her temple, and she responded by cuddling up closer. They hadn’t said a word in at least an hour. They didn’t need to.
Words had brought a lot of hurt into their lives earlier. They hadn’t meant it for each other. It seemed so trivial looking back on it…
“Was that our first fight?” Yelena said, breaking the silence.
“I was thinking about that,” Bob admitted. “I… I’m really sorry.”
“Me too,” she nodded into his chest. “But, you know, I think it makes us a stronger couple. Don’t all of them have fights?”
Bob shrugged. “I… I was kinda hoping to avoid that part of the relationship.”
Yelena chuckled. “We have to take all of it. After all, you took all of me…”
“And you took all of me.”
“And I’m happy with that.”
“Me too.”
She brought her head up so she could see him properly. “Give me a kiss.”
Who was he to turn her down?
So many emotions were poured into that little contact that seemed to burn brighter than the rising sun. Every bit of hurt they had felt during their fight, every regret in their tears, and especially the relief when they were only a stronger duo than ever afterward… all shared, along with a bit of saliva.
It was beautiful.
As their kiss broke, and only a few seconds of sweet solitude came after, they both turned their head to the back edge of the bridge. Steve Rogers, wielding the legendary Mjolnir, was standing in his completely normal clothes, and at the end of the ladder into the Fantastic Four’s ship.
“They’re… probably ready for you,” Bob said, with none of the happiness they had just found in their kiss in his voice.
Yelena grunted. “If it makes you feel better, I want to stay here forever.”
It made Bob happier than he could ever express to hear those words from his girlfriend.
But, his leader was needed to go save worlds beyond theirs.
He stood up and brushed his cape to the side, and extended his hand down to her. She faked surprise at his offer and readily accepted, letting herself be hoisted up to her feet like a princess.
Dr. Richards and Thor had just boarded behind Steve when they finally made it to the entryway. If he was waiting on them, they would gladly take their time.
“Ms. Belova, Mr. Reynolds,” Steve said, nodding to them both.
“Captain,” Yelena nodded.
“Sam’s the Captain here,” Steve insisted, a small smile on his face, attempting to ease the tension he felt as hot as the sun’s early rays. “I’m just Steve these days.”
“Steve then,” Yelena said, a little too ready to refer to him by his first name.
She turned to Bob, “I hope you know that, if something happens to me, all of you have to deal with my boyfriend. He can turn you into a shadow of a shadow and make play-doh with you after that. So, if you don’t mind, bring me back in one piece.”
Steve turned to Bob, who smiled as threateningly as he could. It probably looked less intimidating than their pet guinea pig.
“Hi, Steve.” His voice was sufficiently more trembling - just a little bit. It was good enough. “I’m Bob.”
“You’ve got nothing to worry about,” Steve promised. “She’s the sister of… someone who matters a lot. And someone who never quit. If she’s anything like her, and it seems very well she’s that and more, she’ll outlast any of us.”
Steve outstretched his hand.
Bob looked down at it.
He suppressed his darker half, and shook Steve’s hand firmly, looking back up to make eye contact - firmly.
“I’m holding you to that,” Bob promised, his voice lower than he remembered being able to go. He impressed himself with that. “She’ll do great.”
Steve nodded, and when he had to just barely shake his hand to relieve it from the pressure, Bob felt a masculine pride he wasn’t quite used to. It didn't feel as good as the feminine pride he felt during his intimacy with Yelena, of course, but it was still nice.
“I will see you later, Bob,” Yelena whispered to him, like she was off on a workplace retreat. In a way, she was. “Я тебя люблю.”
“Lyublyu tebya, Yelena.”
His broken Russian earned him the sweetest goodbye kiss she could give him.
As the ship closed with his person inside, and began to lift off towards the edge of space once more, Bob didn’t try to stop his instincts.
They commanded his body to lift off of the ground, his toes to tip, and his arms to extend in acceleration, as those wretched drugs coursing through him carried him to the edge of the atmosphere alongside that brilliant blue “4” on the side of the hull.
Then, as what was left of the ozone layer began to fall behind him, when he felt his breathing getting heavy and his lungs begin to resist, Bob touched the tail end of the ship…
And didn’t grip.
He could’ve stopped it.
He could’ve tugged as if he were pulling a cover over his head and brought the ship right back down to the dock, and refused to let them go with the same strength he held the Sunday New York Times.
But he didn’t.
Continuing to hover, he watched that spaceship escort his last great hope of life, the love he had never found before, the absolute perfection that was Yelena Belova, off to a danger that remained unknown in power and ability.
A single tear fell from his eye that instantly became vapor.
“I’ll see you again. Promise.”
As amazing as she was, and as perfect as everything about her always would be, she was first a woman with incredible marksmanship, acrobatics, and cheekbones. Yelena didn’t have superpowers - not like most people thought of superpowers to be, or the kind of curses that burdened him and their teammates.
But somewhere in his soul, even as she traveled at the speed of sound into the infinity of space and beyond, he could almost hear it like the Manhattan traffic earlier.
“I’ll see you soon, too.”