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Surprisingly enough, asking Kageyama Tobio is not the hard part.
He has already been to the Olympics, played on the international stage for years with crowds who loved him and even more crowds that hated him. None of the media training, the hunger for wins or the devastating losses that were aired out for the entire world to see could compare to the way that Tobio was looking at him now, wide-eyed and confused and head cocked slightly to the left.
"This is for me?" Tobio asks as he held the menu in his hands and was staring unabashedly at him.
"Yes," Ushijima replies because it is important to be clear.
Kageyama blinks. Looks down at the menu but is obviously not reading it. Looks back up at him "Did I do something wrong?"
Ushijima frowns. This was not going to plan. "No."
"Do you want something from me?" he asks more earnestly.
That was more accurate. Not quite correct though so states it plainly as he always did. It was necessary to be clear.
"I would like to be your partner," he says. "Romantically."
Tobio stares at him.
Ushijima watches him go through a series of emotions, debating with something internal and seemingly going through every option and reasoning that he could think of. Which was quite a lot he knew, Tobio was quite an adept player but had an even more strategic mind that he mostly used for volleyball but was just as good for anything else. He played online chess matches sometimes and he knew that Tobio had one of the highest rankings on the game, and when it came to team outings where they gambled or placed bets Tobio almost always won part of the winnings.
"Is this a joke?"
Or not.
"No."
"Because if it is, this isn't a funny jo-"
"Tobio," he looked at the younger omega who was glaring in the way that he did when he was upset but he thought the other person would be more upset with him if they found out he was upset with him so he tried to hide it. "It is not a joke."
He truly didn't know when he started liking him became like-liking him, maybe it was at the first day of national team training when he was still in college and Tobio was still finishing up his final year of high school but already had the world's attention. Maybe at the first day of practice with the Schweiden Adlers with him and Tobio being the two rookies and therefore shoved together for everything which evolved into getting dinner together every week.
Or maybe it was one of Hirugami's house parties that his fiancé liked host and their captain was, as Sokolov would say, 'fucking whipped' for her and so everyone was invited and the captain insisted that everyone show up. They all would go over in non-athletic clothes which meant that everyone got to ogle at the omega in a way that was frankly unnecessary.
Whatever the timing was it didn't matter because they were here now after literal years of poking and prodding and teasing from the team. Yes, he had picked it up thank you very much and it was nothing short of a miracle that they toned it down when Tobio could hear them. Because they were unanimous that Tobio liked him back.
Right now it did not seem so.
In fact right now he was wishing he was a turtle so he could hide away or had the ability to turn back time because his idea had been so much better. It had gone something like: take as much time as needed, become a better friend, spend more heats with him until he was the only one who got to touch Tobio and maybe some kissing and then a ring. At that point there would be no other alphas and he had it on good authority that Tobio didn't mind smelling like him, especially when they went out as a team to celebrate and alphas could get a little too handsy for his liking.
So a mating bite was a perfect solution for that and he already scents him whenever they go out anyways. Tobio grew up pretty non-traditional compared to him, with him being the only omega in his family but he would probably want a ring anyways and at this point in time he was pretty sure he could find him a ring that he'd like and his family would approve of.
His mother already approved of Tobio, and definitely liked him more than any other of his friends that he brought home. Maybe it was because he was an omega, but probably more because Tobio was polite and calm and a very good guest.
"I've never dated anyone before." came the quiet confession. Tobio was staring at the plastic menu still even though he would get the same thing he got every time.
"That's alright," he reassured him. "We are already doing most of the things that people do when dating."
"I don't -" Tobio mumbled. "I won't be good at dating. I don't know how."
The younger ones cheeks flushed pink and he looked out the window where absolutely nothing was happening. It was early evening on their one night off of the week. He had picked Tobio up and brought him to the diner that he and Tobio liked, it was an American style breakfast place that was in a quieter area of Tokyo. The older couple that ran it adored the omega and always ushered them into seats that were a bit more private for the two of them if the media had been particularly bothersome that week without saying a word to either of them.
"You are good at learning. You are direct and have improved your communication skills to be polite and direct without being harsh."
Somehow that made Tobio curl up into himself even more. Whether by grace or by coincidence or by good service the waitress, a bubbly blonde omega who studied art at one of the universities and smelled like pear and jasmine, came by and took their orders.
Blueberry pancakes, omelet with spinach and mushrooms, a side of scrambled eggs, a side of sausage and side of fruit.
The university student smiled after double checking the order that hadn't changed in the last year and went off to put the order in.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Tobio admits, a frustration threading in his voice. "There are rules for omegas. And expectations. And I- I'm not good at any of that stuff."
Oh. He hadn't thought that would bother Tobio. Obviously he was aware of the discrimination that Tobio faced, but he never thought that Tobio would even veer in that direction.
"There is no need for you to worry about that. Nothing needs to change between the two of us if it bothers you."
Which, like. Ow. It may or may not totally break his heart into a million pieces if Tobio rejects him now. Metaphorically of course physically was impossible no matter how much it may seem like it. Too much of his life revolves around Tobio now, in a professional sense, a teammates sense, a friend sense and in a way that made his alpha be pleased and go mineminemine.
Tobio's mouth turned down into an offended pout. That was bad, he didn't mean to offend him.
"Who said it bothered me?" Tobio said, with a sharp huff and he turned his head away to stare out the window where still nothing was happening. "I was just thinking it over."
Okay he fucked up. "No, no it's okay. Please take your time." He said, trying to keep his voice calm.
That earned him a sharp glare.
Now that was honestly unfair.
Ushijima was trying very hard here.
Tobio looked down and grabbed the menu and stare at the menu with the expression was usually reserved for particularly difficult serves and frustrating setters from opposing teams. His fingers tightened slightly around the laminated edge despite the fact that they already ordered and Ushijima knew he wouldn't order more. If anything he would pick off of Ushijima's plate.
The silence stretched.
Then stretched some more.
Ushijima considered apologizing. He wasn't entirely sure what for at this point. He could feel the back of his neck heat up and he wondered, not for the first time today, if he should've kept his mouth shut.
Fortunately Tobio spoke first.
"You make it sound like you've already thought all of this through."
That seemed like a safe question. Maybe.
"I have."
A pause.
"...For how long?"
Ushijima considered lying for approximately two seconds then immediately dismissed the idea. Tobio would know, some setter or omega instinct or just Tobio being Tobio at this point. He'd know, then he'd pout and whine about him keeping things from him or he'd get all huffy and refuse to finish the conversation until Ushijima eventually caved and told him.
He cleared his throat and decidedly looked past Tobio's head and at the wall behind him.
"Five-hundred and sixty-two days."
Tobio choked on air and dropped the menu. "What."
"I have been thinking about asking to court you for five-hundred and sixty-two days. Approximately."
One year, six months, and seventeen days was a perfectly reasonable amount to think and to consider all angles of an important life decision.
Tobio made a strangled noise and the pink flush spread further and brighter on his cheeks and he slumped down further down his chair looking like he wanted to disappear. That was even less of what he wanted to happen, he wanted Tobio to lean in and let him glimpse at his gorgeous eyes and stare at the blush. He kind of wanted to put it up next to one of those paint colour schemes to see what it would be named.
Strawberry pocky maybe. Or strawberry mochi. Or strawberry horoyoi. He was sensing a theme now, he really needed to expand his paint colour vocabulary.
"You counted the days?" Tobio managed to finally say, barely above a whisper.
Ushijima blinked at him. "Yes. Approximately."
The diner around them continued as usual around them. Dishes clinked softly, a group of friends burst out laughing in the corner and he could faintly hear the old alpha argue about how they needed another dishwasher on the weekends while his beta wife gently berated him.
Thankfully their food arrived without much fuss, the waitress dropping it off without fanfare but shot Ushijima a sly wink just as she walked away out of the eyesight of Tobio.
Tobio started to poke mulishly at his pancakes with his knife and fork, letting the blueberries bleed purple and stain the plate underneath. With Tobio starting on his meal Ushijima dig into his own omelet.
The silence stretched for nearly a minute, only being disrupted with the tapping of metal on ceramic from them as well as the comfortable and familiar sounds of the diner.
Another minute passed.
Then a third.
"I don't even know why you'd want me."
Ushijima blinked before mechanically cutting the next piece of his omelet.
That was not a statement that he had ever thought to prepare for. It was not because he hadn't come with a plan, he made those for a living and dealing with Tobio'd word games was surprisingly similar to volleyball strategy. It was just something too absurd to even consider thinking about.
"You are Tobio."
The younger omega stared at him like he was an idiot.
"That explains literally nothing."
"No, that explains everything."
The two of them stared at each other, Tobio with a slight scowl that he had whenever he was watching and re-watching a play that he didn't understand. A look that spelled out that he wanted to unravel the play and understand it intrinsically and completely. Ushijima was sure he had a slightly befuddled and confusion look on his face that Tobio could always read clear as day.
It was just so odd.
Was it not self-explanatory?
If he had to think about Tobio, aside from his physical features which were a blessing to everyone who got to see them, he was driven. He was kind. He was intelligent. Ridiculously talented and even more hard working.
And those were just the things off the top of his head, he had a list in his notes app on his phone that he had started when he had started getting distracted at practice.
"You are good at volleyball." He offered lightly, then took a bite of his eggs to mask the sheer insanity his mind was processing in the moment.
"Please tell me that's not the only reason. Or the first one."
"It is not."
He watched Tobio fish out a grape from the little side bowl. Then he took a breath and dredged up confidence he didn't have and focused very hard on a spot on the wall that was very much not on Tobio's face.
"You are good at chess." Well that was a bad start going by the incredulous look he could just feel radiating at him. Why did the seats have to face each other again?
"You are good with children."
The omega choked on air and gave him a horrified stare. He steadfast ignored him while he braved Tobio's befuddled stare and continued to talk.
"You volunteer every year during the youth clinics." He clarified for him, perhaps that would help.
"That doesn't count." Tobio managed to get out. Well he supposed an answer was better than none. "Coach asked me to come."
"It does."
"No."
"You spend extra time helping the rookie players."
"That's volleyball."
"They are older than you and yet it is you who offers an ear to listen when they complain about being homesick."
"It must be weirder to go to older players. It makes sense."
His complexion evened out and he seemed back to normal, albeit a light blush on him and a sightly petulant look as he continued to argue against Ushijima's points.
“You are organized.”
Tobio immediately looked suspicious and huffed but managed to swallow a bite before talking back.
“That is not a compliment.”
“It is.”
“No, it isn't.”
“It is to me.”
Tobio narrowed his eyes.
"You colour-code your calendar, including the time when your sister is out of town and you might get the chance to cat sit."
"Momo loves me."
"She adores you."
"Why are you saying it like that?"
"I find it charming when you say things like that."
Tobio made another slightly strangled noise, although this time it didn't last as long. That reaction seemed to be a reoccurring sound in his vocabulary now.
He really did not understand why, he was simply telling the truth.
“You bring snacks for long bus rides and share them with teammates.”
“That is because Hoshiumi complains that he's hungry the whole time.”
“Even when Hoshiumi is not there.”
Tobio opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Opened it again.
“Bokuto then. For the national team.”
He gave Tobio a look of disbelief he was sure that someone from across the room could've read it and seen how ridiculous of a claim he had just heard.
“It so counts.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
"No."
Tobio pointed the fork with a chunk of pancake on it accusingly at him.
“You're making things up now.”
“I am not.”
"You're delusional."
"No."
“I don't even like people that much.”
“That is not true.”
“It absolutely is.”
"Tobio."
"I'm mean."
He didn't even deign that one with a response.
Tobio took that as a sign to continue.
"I'm cruel. Demanding. Selfish. People don't like me and I don't like them back."
It sounded so rehearsed it actually spooked Ushijima a bit at how harshly the omega said the words and he just stared at Tobio. Because what?
"Or," he started hesitantly after a moment, "you're brave."
Tobio's head whipped up.
"What?"
"You moved across the country, alone at eighteen to play in one of the most televised sports on one of the highest teams."
"That was volleyball it doesn't count."
"You played on the Olympic stage at nineteen, a teenager technically, and helped secure Japan a place on the podium for the first time in almost half a century."
"Still volleyball."
Tobio looked uncomfortable now. Very uncomfortable. As if he could not fathom the idea of people actually liking him back or even think nicely about him. That was … upsetting. He knew that Tobio did not think too highly of himself, always brushing off praise and content to ignore the jibes and praise when rankings came out or he won awards.
He made the executive decision to power through because clearly no one else had done it; or if they had, Tobio had ignored them. That quite honestly seemed a lot more like him.
"Tobio."
The omega immediately looked suspicious and stole a chunk of sausage from the plate and shoved it in his mouth and chewed to blatantly be unable to speak back to him. That was probably because Ushijima had used the tone that he had learned to pair with a look to make rookies or the more rambunctious teammates of his when they were about to do something incredibly stupid and he was apparently the only one with common sense.
"Tobio," he repeated.
Tobio shook his head, mouth still full of sausage and Ushijima just looked at him while Tobio ignored him until he swallowed.
"No."
"I haven't said anything yet."
"You're using that voice."
"What voice?"
"You know," Tobio gave him a look that clearly read as really? C'mon now, really?"The one that means you're about to explain something super slow and think it's really important for me to know."
"I am."
"It's like taxes all over again."
Ushijima ignored that. Romero had been the one to deal with that years ago; Tobio eighteen and horrified at the idea of 'tax season' and keeping receipts from international events or taking note of when the JVA was taking the bill. Ushijima steadfastly ignored the fact that he also had not been aware of what taxes were and had eavesdropped while he had typed 'what are taxes and how to pay' into google.
"You are brave."
Tobio made a small whimpering sound and tried to duck down even further and got to the point where he was eyelevel with the table.
"We already established that I'm not."
"We established that you disagree."
"Because you're wrong."
"I am not."
"You are."
"You are brave." Tobio lifted his head just enough to glare at him, cheeks still pink.
"I don't think you know what brave means."
"I do."
"No."
"I do."
"No."
Ushijima took a bite of eggs.
"When reporters were following you everywhere during your first season, you still continue to sign autographs for children."
Tobio blinked.
"What?"
"If I remember correctly there was one day where they would not leave you alone and would not stop pestering you about your love life. You ignored them even as they were right in your face and signed every single jersey, volleyball and notepad with cameras in your face."
"That doesn't mean-"
"You had practiced twice that day already."
"That's normal."
"You still stayed exhausted as you were."
Tobio opened his mouth.
Paused.
Closed it again.
Ushijima continued relentlessly.
"When Sokolov's apartment flooded."
The younger omega groaned immediately.
"You were there too!"
"You spent two hours helping out his neighbors move furniture immediately after."
"They were older."
"You had never met them."
"They needed help."
"Exactly."
Tobio looked horrified. Like he couldn't honestly believe that someone was paying attention to him and now he was dealing with the consequences of his own actions. Despite the fact that the actions were great and kind and wonderful. It kind of wanted to make him cry, which was not a good look for someone trying to confess his love and admiration and beg for Tobio to date him.
"You visited Hoshiumi at the hospital when he was there."
"And?"
"You hate hospitals."
"I don't hate hospitals."
"You absolutely hate hospitals."
"No."
"You despise them. You call them the place where joy dies."
"Well it's true."
"Sterile boxes designed by sadists who cultivate misery just like people collect mugs."
"And I stand by my point."
Ushijima let the moment pass and continued before the conversation could derail further.
"You still went."
"Hoshiumi broke his arm."
"He was upset."
"He yelled at three nurses."
"He was very upset."
"He yelled at you."
"He was scared."
The answer arrived instantly and boldly. No thought, no hesitation behind it. Because that was who Tobio was.
Everyone else remembered Hoshiumi being difficult, not staying still for the nurses and itching to get out of there to the point where coach had to come in and physically sit down with Hoshiumi to make sure he understood the rules for while he was healing.
Tobio remembered Hoshiumi being scared.
Ushijima remembered that too.
"He was scared," Tobio repeated.
As though that settled the matter. The grass was green, the sky was blue and Hoshiumi was scared and that was okay.
Ushijima found that oddly poetic and deeply frustrating at the same time because the same logic never seemed to apply to himself. As if he was always in the wrong or meant to be upset or scared and stay like that. As if he was the exception to the rule.
The omega looked down at his pancakes and spoke though his fingers, voice muffled, "You're supposed to be bad at this."
"What?"
"Confessions."
Ushijima blinked.
"Why?"
"Because you're you."
He blinked at the younger man because that clarified absolutely nothing.
"Tobio."
The omega lowered his hands reluctantly, but was still looking off to the side alternating between the salt shaker and his utensils on the plate.
His face was pink all over now and the color spread from his cheekbones all the way to his ears. Thoughts of strawberry mochi filled his mind and he suddenly desperately wanted to hold one up against his face to compare.
"I am being serious."
"I know."
"I would like to date you."
The blush deepened.
"I know."
"I would like to take you on dates."
Tobio groaned and slumped back down in his seat and absentmindedly kicked his foot lightly.
"I heard you the first time."
"I would like to court you."
"Please stop making it sound like we're in a historical drama."
"I would like-"
"Toshi."
Ushijima shut up immediately because Tobio only used that nickname occasionally and usually when he was feeling particularly content and relaxed or when he was in heat and begging for him to get closer or to hurry up and touch him.
The younger omega looked down at the table.
Then at the salt shaker.
Then at his pancakes.
Then out the window.
Then finally back at him.
His expression was somewhere between embarrassment with his eyes wide with disbelief as though he could not tell whether this was real life or not.
"You really mean it."
"Yes."
"You're not going to wake up tomorrow and realize this was a mistake."
"No."
"You've actually thought about this."
"For five hundred and sixty-two days."
"Toshi."
"I do not know the hours though, my apologies."
Tobio covered his face with his hands and just sat there for a moment and let the diner noises fill the silence.
Ushijima waited. He could wait as long as he needed to, as long as Tobio needed to say yes or to say no. He would be content to just watch from afar even if Tobio was asked out and dated others and got engaged and then married and had kids or whatever Tobio did. He could be his friend again, if he hadn't just ruined this relationship more than he already had.
Ugh, he was really the worst, Tobio did not need an arrogant, selfish, smelly, knothead of an alpha being all up in his business. He probably already hated him.
Breaking the silence between the two of them a small laugh escaped the omega as if he couldn't help it. The kind of laugh that was rare enough for him to treasure every single time he heard it even as others made him laugh. And for the first time since the conversation started, he didn't look nervous or confused.
Just shy.
Which was somehow much worse for Ushijima's heart. He was such a kind person and so nice he was going to tell him no now and that he was a gross person for liking his teammate. He probably didn't want to be anywhere near him anymore and was going to ask to have a different heat partner an-
"Okay."
Ushijima blinked.
What.
"Okay?"
"Okay."
A pause where he just gaped at Tobio who was still pink but less so now and was tapping softly on his mug with his fingers.
Then the words he had wanted to hear for years and lived in his dreams:
"I'd like to date you too."
The entire diner seemed to disappear. Scratch that the world disappeared. All the sounds that the diner made seemed to tone out and a faint buzzing sound filled his ears. Everything seemed to just be blocked out until there was only Tobio sitting in front of him with flushed pink cheeks and bright eyes looking at him and his lips with a nervous start of a smile that he was nibbling on.
There was only him and Tobio in that moment and then the world rushed back as he had the realization that after five hundred and sixty-two days of thinking about asking him and wistfully adoring Tobio from afar; Tobio had said okay. That he'd like to date him too. Not just liked him back or was okay with him or letting him down gently or smiling sadly and shaking his head and pulling away, but that he would like to date him too.
"...okay," Ushijima said.
Tobio immediately let out another huff of laughter and smiled lightly at him. Fuck the moon or the sun or whatever people compared at being smiled to because nothing gave that justice when his smiles were directed to him.
"That's all you have?"
"I was not prepared for success."
Tobio shrugged and looked down at his mess of blueberry pancakes and stabbed a piece with his fork. "Well I guess you're stuck with me now."
Well 'stuck' was not the word he would use but he'd take it, because holy fucking shit he did it. He did it and it ended better than he ever could have imagined because Tobio liked him back and wanted to date him too.
And now he got to finish his meal while staring at his boyfriend, or whoever he was to him now, who seemed content to eat his remainder of the pancakes and sausage while his scent swirled around him. He squirmed and his cheeks stayed pink as his scent exuded his contentment and he let his scent poke and intertwine with the omegas.
Content was a good thing. And yes he had been right about how asking Tobio had been the easier side of the night and everything else had been the cherry on top.
Yes, contentment fit for both of them and he wanted it to stay that way forever.