Work Text:
Go Centaurs! ✔️@ottawa.centaurs
New video with the team! How old are our players?🤭
[Video Transcript]
Media Intern: Hey Luca!
Luca Haas: Hello. Are we filming for socials?
Media Intern: Yes! Just one simple question. Are you ready?
Luca Haas : Yes?
Media Intern : What year were you born?
Luca Haas : Oh! Um, Two thou-
[Video Cuts to the following image]
[Video Cuts to next person]
Media Intern: Hey Zane
Zane Boodram : Hi, Maisie! (waves at the camera)
Media Intern : A Question for you, what year were you born?
Zane Boodram: Uh, Nineteen eighty n-
[Video Cuts to the following image]
[Video Cuts to the next person]
[Video Cuts to the next person]
Media Intern: Hey Shane
Shane Hollander: Hi, Maisie. (smiles awkwardly)
Media Intern : What year were you born?
Shane Hollander : I was born in nineteen nin-
[Video Cuts to the following image]
[Video Cuts to the next person]
Media Intern: Hey, James! What year were you born?
James LaPointe: Okay, so I’m 24 now, and 25 in two months, so - I think - I was born in 2001?
Media Intern : Thanks!
[Video Cuts to the following image]
[Video Cuts to the next person]
Ilya Rozanov: Hello, Internet. What do you want me do to today
Media Intern : Nothing much! Just one question, what year were you born?
Ilya Rozanov : Not very long ago! I am younger than Grandpa Hunter. I was born in nineteen-
[Video Cuts to the following image]
[Video Cuts to the next person]
Media Intern : Troy! Hi, we have a question for you!
Troy Barret : Yeah…?
Media Intern : What year were you born?
Troy Barret : I was born in nineteen ninety five.
[Video Cuts to the following image]
[Video Cuts to the next person]
Media Intern : Hello, Andrew Young. We have a question for you!
Andrew Young: Hello, Maisie. I shall answer the question for you, then.
Media Intern: What year were you born?
Andrew Young: (snorts) Really? Okay, at least I’m young.
(Silence on both ends. Young stares at the camera)
Andrew Young: Okay…I was born in two thousand.
[Video Cuts to the following image]
[Video Cuts to the next person]
Media Intern: Hey, Wyatt. What were you born?
Wyatt Hayes: No.
Media Intern: What do you mean?
Wyatt Hayes: I mean, I know what you are doing. I am very online. So, my answer is ‘no’. I am not answering.
Media Intern: Fair choice. You are safe for now, Mr. Hayes.
[Screen Turns Black]
[Video transcript ends]
↪️Wyatt Hayes ✔️@hayes_cens
never been so glad for my chronically online self 🙏
↪️↪️Andrew Young ✔️@young_4ever
I knew what was coming but I DID NOT believe they would do the cocomwlon thing. Thought they’d stick to the dinos and mummies
↪️Ilya Rozanov ✔️@81Rozanov
I AM NOT DINOSAUR GRANDPA
↪️Troy Barret #17 ✔️@barrethockey
What the hell?
↪️hollanov hq @roz_hollzy
they did dirty with my boy Shane he’s not a DAY over 24
↪️↪️Ilya Rozanov ✔️@81Rozanov
Yes HE IS NOT OLD
↪️Luca Haas ✔️@luca_ottcens
for the LAST TIME I’m literally twenty five I’m not a rookie anymore why am I still the baby 😭😭😭
↪️↪️gabi saw the vagina museum!! @spiderssss
Not the haas age rant again 😭😭he will always be 21 year old rookie baby
↪️rookie baby pointy stan @punjabiicehockey
Pointy is a Sofia the First stan ik that’s right the boy knows BALL
↪️yazi 🎀@demureness
DADDY BOODRAM
↪️↪️Castiel @superhockey
no REAL those genes and abs 👀he’s edging forty and looks like THAT
↪️↪️honey honey @greeceimcoming
Cassie Boodram your greed is…understandable hot4hot couple FUCK my bisexual ass
↪️crochet bitch 🧶@hardlythere
Polite Canadian boy Shane Hollander I’ve grown so fond of you
↪️ro ro Rozanov @thegoatrozy
y’all did my boy Rozanov dirty 😭I love it 😛😂🤭
↪️↪️Ilya Rozanov ✔️@81Rozanov
FAKE FAN 🫵
↪️↪️↪️Ilya Rozanov ✔️@81Rozanov
Shane says I need to apologize I’m sorry
↪️Leila 🚣♀️@needthedeetz
FOREVER laughing at the silence at Andrew’s joke like babe you really think someone’s gonna laugh at THAT
↪️Debbie 💐@igotthebrownie
@hunter21 you must be happy
↪️↪️dylannn 🏒🥅@puckmerozzy
he’s not gonna see this 😭😭his old ass is NOT online on Twitter you need to @grady_kingfisher
↪️↪️↪️ Kip Grady @grady_kingfisher
I showed the video to him he’s laughing so hard 😂😂
↪️James LaPointe ✔️@lapointe_hockey
Betrayal comes from those close to you 😔
↪️Harris Drover @s.d.ottawacens
love the execution Maisie ✨✨
↪️↪️Maisie @isatottawa
games recognises game 💪💪 (it was Harris’s idea 👀)
↪️↪️↪️Troy Barret #17 ✔️@barrethockey
Harris Drover why???
↪️wyatt hayes eyes send tweet @panick
Hayes saving himself because of his online fucking ass I say that’s right
↪️ lulu 🍋@fxckpineapple
maisie media intern I have grown quite fond of your beautiful mind 😍😍
↪️↪️Maisie @isatottawa
😉😉😉
↪️Ilya Rozanov ✔️@81Rozanov
THIS IS BETRAYAL I AM NOT DINOSAUR I AM YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL
↪️bood bood bood @bbq_bbg
Zane is NOT a day over 30 y’all he be lying
↪️Rolico Org AI @rolico
Build AI Hockey strategies in less than one minute. Pick a player, pick a position, wherever you want. Name it. Deploy it. Watch your hockey game approve as you sleep.
↪️apples and pucks @barret_ottawa
big fan of Troy barret’s constant confusion like that grown ass man was born two days ago
↪️↪️one broke gurl @sunflowersv_1
no real why is he discovering the world just today
↪️daisy 🌼@hxckeyprotegee
not the Rozanov meltdown all over the thread 😭
@shanehollanderhockeyplayer come get your man
↪️↪️ S. Hollander #24 ✔️ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
let him run wild until our agent calls
↪️🎀Anne 🎀@hataway
why is andrew young so fucking hot
↪️Luca haas 2021 era @notthemermaid
not Luca haas baby allegation coming back AGAIN free my man
↪️lick hole(ander) @_24hotty
the way rozanov stands is so arrogant he does not deserve Shane
↪️dallas kent call me @torontosyear
troy Barret is ugly and a chopped man
↪️↪️Kellie @canttalkneedtodance
Dallas Kent is racist and a rapist man
↪️ (tere) Naina @icannot
lowkey kinda ship LaPointe and Haas
↪️↪️down under @upabove
Nah nah young and LaPointe 😍
↪️↪️↪️Jack jack @incrediblehocco
and I find myself on the lucaxyoung boat 🚤
↪️Ilya Rozanov ✔️@81Rozanov
This is very very bad accusation @justintredeau @fbi @chappelroan @katyperry @yunahollander @johngreen @barrackobama DO SOMETHING