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Everybody was staring. Lucy could see all eyes in the cafeteria on her. Her heart was pounding, her vision was blurry, and the only thing she could do was hide behind the nearest pillar in her immediate vicinity. Back against it, her breathing was heavy, and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Thump, thump, thump, thump. It was going too fast, something in the back of her brain knew that was true, but she couldn't do anything to stop it. If she stayed in the cafeteria with all those prying eyes, she was going to have a real and true breakdown for them all to stare at. She needed to escape, but when she turned to the nearest exit, she felt like its existence hit her straight in the stomach. It led outside. Mike was outside. Mike was there. Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike-
'Make a choice: one person staring at you, or the entire school staring at you?' Damned brain, leaving her with two terrible choices. If she had just died, this wouldn't be an issue. Ahh, but maybe she shouldn't be thinking of that. Again. Trying to quiet her heart was an exercise in futility, so she just power walked for the hills, also known as the outside world. She didn't look back, not wanting to see all the eyes on her as she pushed open the doors and felt the fresh air slam into her lungs. The outside seemed suspiciously quiet. There didn't seem to be any birds chirping, the wind wasn't whistling through the trees, and the side of the wall was bereft of any lunchgoers. Her mind asked the question she didn't need to ask: where was Mike? Maybe he... went home? So she could stay outside by herself, right? Thank goodness.
She took a moment to lean against the wall, her mind slowing down enough to have simple thoughts. Was she really so pathetic that she could no longer function like a normal person without Augustus by her side? She had turned the poor guy into her security blanket. Her new Mike. 'Ugh...' It wasn't fair to Augustus. She had agreed to go back inside the lunch room specifically so he could have friends and a normal social life, and not even a week later she was about to beg him to come back to her. How much of a loser could she be? She wanted to be strong. Physically, it was no problem. She could kick the ass of everyone in the school. Emotionally, though? She was as fragile as Sue's leg bones.
With her eyes shut, she did everything she could to steady her breathing and her heartbeat. It worked for about as long as she kept her eyes closed, because she noticed something when she opened them. There was something on the track, just out of proper view. It was small and gray, like someone had thrown it there. A little bit curious, and strangely worried, she began to jog towards the track. The closer she got, the more her worries turned out to be justified. Because she saw that there wasn't just gray, but a spot of blue. A blue... scarf.
"Mike?!" Her jog turned into a full sprint as she made it to what indeed was clearly Mike. It looked like he had passed out on the track, and he didn't seem to be moving. In that moment, the year of awfulness that had gone down between the two of them completely disappeared. It was an unconscious choice, like the past was yanking her forward and making her check on him. "Mike?" She dropped to her knees next to him, hands hovering over his back as she watched him nervously. Chewing her bottom lip, she almost passed out herself with relief when she saw his body move ever-so slightly. At least he wasn't dead.
Being as careful as she could, Lucy gently turned Mike over. A low, troubled hiss left her throat when she saw how emaciated he looked, as if he hadn't eaten anything in a while. "Come on, Mike. Wake up." She grabbed his shoulders and gently shook him, then put a bit more effort into it when he remained unresponsive. "Mike! Don't you dare do this again, you asshole!" That seemed to be the key, as his eyes slowly opened, unfocused. They eventually came to rest on her, though she could tell he wasn't completely there. They were empty, a distressing sight she knew of all too well.
Something inside her made her remember when Mike once woke from his slumber and called her Sandy. Why she needed to remember that now of all times, she wasn't sure, but she'd have a stern talking-to with her brain later for such a transgression. "L-Lucy?" Oh thank goodness. Again, she wasn't thinking straight when she threw her arms around him, hugging him as tight as she could. After about five seconds, exactly what she was doing kicked in, and she threw herself off so violently that she fell right on her back. Smooth as silk. "What... What happened?"
"I found you passed out here. What the hell were you doing?" She quickly got back on her knees, staring Mike down. He was still on his back, either unwilling or unable to get up with her.
"I think I was running..." That seemed plausible enough. What else would he be doing on the track?
"Have you eaten anything today?" The question spilled from her mouth, but an answer was not forthcoming. Her stare only got harder as she could tell what the answer was even without words. "Idiot, why would you run on an empty stomach?" No answer came for that question either. Sighing in frustration, Lucy decided any more time spent out there was a waste. Regardless of their recent history, she couldn't - or wouldn't - leave him to die by himself. So with grunts of effort, she helped him onto his knees, then up onto his feet. She got his arm around her shoulders, and slowly the two of them headed back towards the school.
They walked together in silence, which was fine with Lucy. She needed to concentrate on not dropping his stupid ass, and the slow pace was driving her up a wall. Focus was important, though, and that got her through the painful exercise as they finally made it. Of course, that was half the battle. Once they ended up inside, she had to drag him to the nurse's office. If she had been a bit on the insane side for thinking people had been staring at her before, they were definitely staring at her now. Her heart rate was increasing again, but she tried to pay it no mind. 'Just stop looking at us, you jerks!'
After what felt like an eternity, they reached the nurse's office, where Lucy was able to get Mike onto the nearest bed before she collapsed on the floor next to him. "Stupid... jerkface..." There was no bite in her words, though. She was too tired for that. Thankfully the nurse rushed over and took control of the situation, allowing Lucy the freedom to not move for a bit. Of course, that left her close enough to hear what the nurse was saying.
"Starving yourself is not good for you, Michael. You're lucky that someone found you out there and brought you here. I insist you eat this." Something was passed along to Mike, though Lucy wasn't in the proper position to see what it was. There was silence for a bit, then a crunch that brought relief to both the nurse and Lucy. "Now, I don't want you going back to class until you've finished that. You can leave whenever you need to, Lucy." She heard the nurse's footsteps heading towards the other side of the room, leaving the two of them alone. She could indeed go back, and all things considered she should do that. But...
"I'm sorry..." Mike's voice was weak, but her ears perked as she heard him loud and clear. "You should've left me to die." She bristled at his flat, fatalistic tone. It hit too close to home.
"So what, you can get out of earning my forgiveness? You've got another thing coming." It was half a joke, half serious, but she didn't get a laugh regardless. Instead she heard the sound of soft sobbing, and that really felt like the proverbial kick in the stomach. She hugged herself tightly, wishing she had the strength to run far, far away. "Mike, why... Why are you doing this to yourself?" Something inside her didn't expect an answer, so she was a bit surprised when he did.
"I can't do it anymore. I messed everything up. Now... Now everyone hates me, and I don't blame them. All I've done is make the wrong choices every single time." He rattled them off without pause, almost making Lucy's head spin. "I should've stayed with you. I shouldn't have answered Sandy's call. I shouldn't have taken her back. I shouldn't have joined the track team. I shouldn't have blamed you. I shouldn't have ignored Augustus when he told me to stay away. I should've died. I-"
"Mike, please... shut up for just a second." He shut up. Lucy sighed, feeling a headache coming on. What else could she do, though? This was Mike, the guy who loved her, the guy who tolerated her, the guy who hated her, completely breaking down. Maybe in a different frame of mind she would be gloating. He got what he deserved, right? Instead she felt sick, as all she could do was remember that they used to be perfectly fine, and then they both did their very best to destroy everything and scorch the earth beneath them as they went. "Look, you fucked up, okay? A lot."
"I know-"
"I wasn't finished. You fucked up, but I did too. I put you in a bad spot, and that... I shouldn't have. It was stupid and selfish." Pressing her palms against her eyes, she applied pressure and sighed oh-so deeply. "Do you know how embarrassing it is that this entire time, I've been so desperate to forgive you? I've been waiting and waiting for the moment that I could have you back in my life. How pathetic is that?" That finally got a hoarse laugh out of Mike.
"You're not the one who went crawling back to the person who cheated on them. If I had just not answered that call..."
"Well you did, and you can't change that you did. But you can change the present, or whatever new age bullshit Abbey's therapist would tell you." Another laugh. It felt so nostalgic. "What do you want to do now, Mike? Do you want to stay with Sandy?" Her heart was desperate to hear what it wanted, while her brain was smacking her for asking such a stupid, obvious question. And yet...
"I don't want to be with her anymore." Her heart soared at the news, as bad as that was. She was being a homewrecker for fun... "I don't. Every day I stay with her, I feel worse and worse. I can't do it any longer. It hurts so much..."
"Then just break up with her, dummy."
"I know... I guess I'm just too pathetic." He laughed sadly, and that's when Lucy stood up. Hovering over Mike, she grabbed the hand that wasn't holding what turned out to be a power bar and held it tightly. "Lucy?"
"You can do it. I'm sick of this 'woe is me' bullshit. If I need to stand there holding your damn hand while you do it, I will." She took a deep breath, looking dead in his eyes, which she was relieved to see had a spark of life in them again. "I'm not losing you again, you hear me? If you thought you could get rid of me a second time, you're full of shit." She almost cried when she saw Mike's lips twist into a small smile, but she wouldn't shed a tear. That was for babies like Mike.
"Promise?" Rolling her eyes, she let go of his hand and instead grabbed his cheeks. Before he could ask what she was doing, she pulled him towards her and kissed him right on the lips. When she pulled away, he looked starstruck, and she couldn't help but grin. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she had finally gotten a win.
"Promise."