Chapter Text
Data had spent three days attempting to determine the source of an unusual behavioral pattern. The pattern was you.
It was not that he found your presence unpleasant. Quite the opposite. He had always valued your conversations. You were intelligent, disciplined, and possessed a curiosity that reminded him of his own. You often asked questions others overlooked and treated him as a person rather than simply an android.
Lately, however, his internal processes had become increasingly difficult to categorize.He found himself anticipating your arrival in a room before you entered it. He replayed your conversations with unusual frequency. He noticed details he had not previously prioritized: the way you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear when you were thinking, the slight lift in your voice when you were amused, or most importantly the fact that you always seemed to make time for him even when you were busy. These observations were, in themselves, harmless.
The difficulty lay in the fact that they were no longer merely observations. The anomaly was that lately, Data had found himself wanting to spend time with you without any specific purpose. He had no report to discuss. No tactical simulations to review. No scientific inquiry requiring your assistance. He simply wanted to be near you. This was a phenomenon he had encountered before in his studies of human behavior. The closest approximation appeared to be what humans referred to as a “crush.”
Data approached Geordi La Forge in Engineering, where his friend was adjusting a component on a console.
“Geordi, I require assistance with a social matter.”
Geordi looked up at once, then narrowed his eyes. “Sure, what’s up?”
“I believe I have developed,” he hesitated for a moment before finishing, “a crush on Y/N.”
Geordi froze. Then his face broke into a grin. “What makes you think that?”
“I have been reviewing my recent behavior. I have increased the frequency of my interactions with them by approximately 42 percent. I have also memorized their favorite holodeck environments and the specific tea they order when they are under stress.”
Geordi stared at him. “Data.”
“Yes?”
“That definitely sounds like a crush to me.” He couldn’t believe it. This was a big step for him. He always knew Data was capable of feeling what he could classify as affection for someone, it was just a matter of when and who.
Geordi leaned back against the console, folding his arms. “So what are you planning to do about it?”
“I intend to engage in a traditional human courtship behavior.” Data stated.
Geordi wasn’t sure whether he should ask or not, but did anyway. “Which one?”
“I am going to use a pick-up line. I have conducted extensive research. Humans frequently use humorous or flattering statements to initiate romantic interactions. I believe I have found one that is most fitting.”
He studied romantic comedies. He reviewed historical examples of human flirting. He analyzed thousands of examples of courtship dialogue. He created a list of potential approaches and eliminated those that seemed illogical. Eventually, he found one that seemed ideal. It was complimentary. It was concise. And it was apparently very popular among humans.
The next evening, Data found you at Ten Forward. You were sitting at a table in the corner with a cup of tea, looking over some schematics on a padd. You looked up as he approached.
“Data,” you said, “anything I can help you with?”
He had rehearsed this moment. He had simulated confidence. He had even adjusted his posture to appear more relaxed, though the result was only marginally less rigid than usual. Still, he felt a strange and unfamiliar sensation: not fear exactly, but a heightened awareness of outcome. He wanted this to go well. More than that, he wanted you to understand him correctly.
“Did it hurt?”
You blinked once. Then again. “…Excuse me?”
“Did it hurt?” He repeated.
You slowly lowered your cup. It made a clinking noise on the table as you set it down. “Did what hurt?”
“When you fell from heaven?” He answered very earnestly.
You stared at him for a moment, processing. “Like Satan?” You asked.
From several seats away, Geordi made a choking sound into his drink and slammed his forehead into his palm.
“Did you just compare me to the devil?” You stared at Data for a beat, then let out a breath that was halfway between disbelief and laughter. Data immediately recognized that the response was not proceeding according to his research.
Data turned his head slightly. “That was not my intention. I was attempting to communicate that you are exceptionally beautiful and that your presence has a positive effect on those around you.” He explained.
Your expression shifted into a soft smile. Your heart did a little flutter in your chest. That was actually really sweet, you thought. “Data, you know you can just say that, right?”
“I am aware now.”
You reached out and squeezed his arm reassuringly. “I appreciate the effort though.”
Data nodded. “I apologize for the misunderstanding.” He turned and walked away, joining Geordi at the bar.
Geordi looked at him, his eyebrows raised over his visor.
Data let out a sigh. “That did not go as planned.”
Geordi barked out a laugh and immediately covered his mouth. “No, Data. No, it really did not.”