Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

A high pitched ringing filled her ears. There was a terrible pressure on her chest and she couldn't breathe. She could barely think, could barely see. Memories flashed through her mind in disorienting pieces. (Fighting demons. A strange device.) Zoey's vision was blurry and fading. There was… rubble. Huge chunks of stone and exposed rebar, smoke and dust making it even harder to make out… a small spot of pink. Pink hair sticking out from under a large piece of concrete. (Mira shouting at Rumi to stop.)

Zoey was running out of air but she couldn't breathe, couldn't seem to find the muscles to do it. She couldn't feel her hands, couldn't move. (A loud bang, a flash of light and heat.) Past the oppressive ringing she thought she maybe heard a fire roaring. Her vision faded, darkness enveloping her. The ringing finally stopped, leaving her in complete and total silence. (Rumi reaching the strange device just as it exploded.)

The dark and quiet was almost nice. Calm. Zoey still wasn't breathing, but she thought maybe that was okay? It was hard to think. If she could have, she would have flinched as light suddenly sparked all around her. Shimmery, and blue, even spaced lines, pulsing just once before flitting past and leaving only a slight imprint behind right in front of her. A whiter light, iridescent with flecks of colour dancing in it. It moved in frantic bursts, fading in and out, and Zoey eventually put together that it looked like a person, a woman. The rough shape of one, like a glass statue only painted in that shimmering light.

Her mouth was moving, but Zoey didn't hear anything. She looked frantic and desperate, and Zoey wished she could have asked her if she was okay. Wished she could have asked what was wrong and if she could help. Zoey still couldn't move though, and the dark once again threatened to swallow even this light. It had been nice, she thought, to have seen it though. Pretty.

Mira surfaced from unconsciousness like from molasses. Everything felt heavy, her head filled with cotton, the noises reaching her ears dulled. She was lying down, but everything felt off, strangely numbed. Had she been drugged? A bit of panic spiked through her at the thought and she tried to move, only to find herself still fighting those molasses. Her arms wouldn't obey her, and neither would her eyelids.

Where was she, what had happened? Since moving seemed out of the question for now, she tried to remember. They'd been hunting, following a group of demons into an empty construction site, into the first bones of a building being erected, all bare gray slabs and scaffolding. The demons had had a strange device with them and– Rumi. Rumi had ran towards it like an idiot and Mira had tried to stop her but– it had been too late. There had been an explosion. Mira thought she remembered being thrown back, remembered a cracking pain, as well as that horrible feeling of deafness after such a loud noise. The ground had shaken and then– nothing.

Until now. She tried again to open her eyes and was rewarded for it with a dull ache behind them that made her hiss. She left her eyes closed after all. A spike of fear went through her again when she heard a shuffle next to her, a little muffled. Her fears were soothed though when she heard a familiar voice.

"Mira", Celine said, sounding like she was speaking through two layers of sound-proofing foam, but her mentor's voice was still easy enough to recognise. "Mira, don't move. You're safe. You were injured severely so don't try to move just yet. It's going to be okay."

She felt gentle fingers grab her hand very carefully. The touch was reassuring, but it made her want to squeeze back, the attempt at which made prickles of pain spark from her hand up her arm, all the way to her head where it once again pounded dully, making her groan.

She could barely make out Celine's soothing shooshes. "I know you're in pain. I'm sorry. I can't keep you sedated anymore. It's going to be okay. You're at the sanctuary. You're safe."

What about Rumi and Zoey?, Mira wanted to ask. Oh god, Rumi had been so close. Her chest hiccuped painfully at the thought. She tried her hardest to get her mouth to work, to ask Celine about them, but she barely managed a whispered: "…ummi… zzzyy…"

Celine understood anyway. "Rumi and Zoey are also here. They're alive. Zoey is still unconscious, to your left. No, don't try to look, I'm sorry. Everything is okay, I promise. Please rest. You don't have to worry about anything."

Trying to open her eyes kept causing too much pain. She was slowly starting to be able to feel enough of her body to make out that she was lying in a bed. She felt very tightly wrapped in her blanket and wished she could ask Celine to loosen it for her a bit. There was also something wrapped around her head and half of her face. It tickled against her nose and she was frustrated that she was unable to scratch it.

"I'm sorry, Mira", Celine was saying now, sounding a bit like she was crying. It was unsettling to hear stoic Celine so emotional. "I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened. You shouldn't have–" She cut herself off and it was quiet for a moment. When Celine spoke again she sounded like she was choking. "I'm sorry."

Mira couldn't imagine why she was apologising. It wasn't Celine's fault. It had been the demons. And they were all still alive, somehow, so it was okay. It was going to be okay, just like Celine said. As long as they were all still alive. That was all Mira needed. She didn't know what she would have done if Rumi or Zoey hadn't made it. Her chest ached at the thought. She tried to push those thoughts aside and do as Celine had told her to. To rest. She didn't have much choice in the matter anyway.

Celine kept talking, about random things: the weather, the news (though nothing about Huntr/x) and it was nice. It helped Mira to know she wasn't alone. She thought she'd drifted off to sleep when she saw an odd shimmer at just the very edge of the right side if her vision. A shimmering light, almost perfectly white except for flecks of colour that laced through it ever so slightly. After a moment it took on a pinkish hue and Mira felt oddly warmed by it, the dull ache in her head soothed. She didn't remember anything after that for another good while.

The figure made of glass and light was leaning over her, startling a bit when she noticed Zoey looking up at her. Then she was gone.

Zoey blinked her eyes open, unsure if she'd been dreaming or hallucinating or whatever. When she finally had a clear view of the ceiling of what she recognised as a room inside the hunter sanctuary hanok where she had once been trained, there definitely wasn't any being of light around anymore.

She groaned, wanting to stretch only to find that quickly very uncomfortable, bordering on painful, stilling again. There was this horrible tension in her chest, like different parts of it were being pulled in different directions. Breathing was kind of difficult due to that, as well as due to the pressure that seemed to press in on her, especially her chest and arms. Her hands felt heavy and clunky, so she left them were they were for now, even as not moving also wasn't exactly comfortable. She tried lifting her head to look down at herself, only for the pain in her chest to immediately swell, making her flinch and drop her head into the pillow again.

Okay, so she was in a bed at the sanctuary. And pretty banged up based on those indicators. Right, she remembered. There had been an explosion. Panic shot through her as she remembered about Rumi and Mira, remembered pink hair under rubble. Though she didn't try to lift her head again, she turned it to her right, instantly relieved when she saw another bed there, a heavily bandaged person lying in it. With her head wrapped up too it took her a moment to recognise Mira by the side of her face, which was thankfully uncovered. That small sliver of her looked basically pristine, and Zoey could almost delude herself into thinking she was okay.

"Mira?", she tried to say, but it came out scratchy and barely audible. Clearing her throat hurt but she did it anyway, trying again. "Mira?"

Mira stirred, her chin moving ever so slightly and she groaned. "Zoey?"

Zoey's heart squeezed almost painfully with relief at hearing her voice. "Yes, hi", she said in a rush. "It's me."

"Sorry, can't open my eyes", Mira told her, speaking slowly and sounding like it took a lot of effort. "Hurts. Glad you're okay."

Zoey almost laughed, but tears ended up running down her cheeks instead. "I'm glad you're okay too", she said. And 'okay' was probably an overstatement, probably too optimistic, but she couldn't bring herself to correct her. Her lower lip wobbled, emotions beginning to wrack through her as her mind became clearer. She could barely move. Her neck seemed to work and she could wiggle her toes a bit, but her legs felt heavy and her body just… bad. This was bad, they were in bad shape. And then there was…

Zoey was almost afraid to ask, but she had to. "Where's Rumi?"

"Celine says she's okay", Mira told her, and Zoey's chest hitched with her relief which hurt, but she supposed it was better than the alternative. "Haven't seen her. Ha–", Mira caught herself with something that was almost a chuckle, although she hissed as if in pain a second later. "Haven't heard her."

Footsteps sounded from the hall then, and Zoey was spared being curious enough to try and look again by the fact that she recognised them. It was such a familiar, brisk thump of worn down slippers. It was Celine. The door to the left and slightly in front of her opening brought some more light into the room, otherwise daylight filtered through thin white curtains over the window on the other side of Mira.

"Zoey, you're awake", Celine immediately noted once she was inside, carrying a tray with what looked like medical equipment on it. "Thank the honmoon." She quickly set the tray down on a chair by the door before coming over, giving Zoey a cursory once-over, her face slightly drawn in concern.

"When you say it like that it almost sounds like you were worried I wouldn't make it", Zoey joked, only for Celine not to smile or even roll her eyes a little like she would when Zoey made jokes like that. If anything, something far more guilty looking flashes across her face. "Celine?"

Celine gathered herself quickly, taking a quick breath before leaning down over her, fixing something at the edge of Zoey's blanket. "We knew you would make it", she said with an even smile. "You're strong. We were just briefly worried when Mira woke up but you didn't, that there might have been something we missed."

"We?", Zoey questioned.

"Rumi and I."

Zoey's heart clenched and she nearly groaned at the pain of it. "Where is Rumi?", she asked. "How is she doing? Can I see her?" As much as she didn't think Celine would have lied to Mira, it was still uncomfortable that Rumi wasn't here. That she hadn't seen her herself yet. Wouldn't Rumi want to know they were okay too?

"Rumi is…", Celine began, sounding uncertain for a moment before meeting Zoey's eyes and smiling at her again. "Rumi is fine", she said with a sigh. "She managed to get away nearly unscathed and… well, she feels very guilty for it. Responsible for your more… severe injuries. I'm sorry, she's afraid to face you at the moment, feeling that weight. She needs time to process." Zoey could feel herself frowning. It wasn't Rumi's fault they'd gotten hurt. She was about to protest, asking to see Rumi anyway, when Celine gently wiped at her cheek, wiping away her tears. "She'll come around eventually. I assure you she's well."

"How?", Mira's still drowsy voice sounded from her bed, and Celine and Zoey both looked over at her.

Celine frowned. "What's that, Mira?"

"How did Rumi– make it out unscathed?", Mira clarified with some struggle, needing to take a break to swallow in the middle. "She was closest to the bomb."

Right, Zoey remembered that. She remembered Mira trying to get Rumi to get further back again. Oh god. Her heart stung in sympathy for Mira and worry for Rumi.

"It exploded upwards", Celine said after a moment of hesitation anyone who didn't know her would have probably missed. "She was close enough to be under the blast radius. Like the eye of a storm."

"That…", Mira said, pausing for a moment to consider. "It didn't look like that." She sounded a bit uncertain. Contradicting Celine was like that – usually Celine turned out to be right.

The smile Celine wore as she looked over at Mira was oddly pained. "Traumatic memories can be tough to work through. Don't worry about those things just yet. Focus on your recovery", she said gently. "Mira, with your injuries, I'm hoping you'll be able to walk soon, maybe tomorrow. I can remove your catheter once you do." Turning back to Zoey she added: "Zoey, I'm afraid you'll be bed-bound for a bit longer. I'm hoping only two or three days. Both of you will continue to need bed rest."

"What exactly…", Zoey asked slowly, voice shaking a little with anticipatory dread. She had to resist the urge to look down herself again. "What are my injuries?"

"You don't have to worry about that yet", Celine said, shaking her head.

"I want to know."

Next to her, Mira said: "I wouldn't mind knowing either."

Celine sighed, her hands clenching briefly, but she relented. "Like I said, the bomb exploded upwards, so you were mostly hit by debris", she explained, seeming to choose her words very carefully. "Mira, you were knocked in the head quite hard, part of your face is pretty banged up. I have hope that your eye survived though, it just needs some more time to heal. Besides that it's mostly flesh wounds and a few broken ribs. You might struggle to regain strength at first."

"Zoey, you were crushed under quite a large piece of the ceiling", Celine said to her, and even though it wasn't exactly a surprise, the imagery still made a chill run through her. "Both your torso and arms sustained a lot of damage and had to be pieced back together. Please don't try to move much on your own for now. Your stamina and mobility might be limited for a while. Thanks to the honmoon, you are both healing fast, you just have to have a bit more patience than usual."

Her torso and arms… yeah, that seemed about right. Zoey felt frustratingly stuck in her body, as she itched to just look, to see – but she couldn't. She couldn't, precisely because of the damage she wanted to see. Why she wanted to see it wasn't quite clear to her. The not knowing just made her anxious. No matter what Celine said, she wanted to know for herself. "Because we got hurt a lot more than usual", Zoey said, swallowing with renewed concern. "Like a lot. I can feel it. It's bad." She wasn't good at patient, didn't like uncertainty. And she needed her torso and arms for like… pretty much everything! She could feel fresh tears welling in her eyes and couldn't lift her hands to wipe them.

Celine moved, kneeling down next to her bed and carefully laying a hand on her shoulder. "You're going to be okay", she said, sounding firm as usual, but with a touch of desperation that didn't help. "It might…" She swallowed, but finally forged on: "It might never quite be the same again, but you're going to be okay."

Zoey was still struggling to breathe, but tried to take strength from Celine's reassurance, tried to breathe deeper despite the pain. "What about the fans?", she asked, maybe a touch manic, a touch irrational. They had a tour to finish and then the idol awards after that. They–

Celine shook her head, her hand squeezing a bit firmer. "Don't worry about the fans. You are the priority."

"What about the demons?", Mira asked, almost too quiet for Zoey to hear. Fuck. Zoey hadn't even thought about the demons.

"It's being handled", Celine just said, a tad cryptically. "Even if it wasn't, you are in no condition to fight. Rest." Her tone left no room for argument, and she must have realised herself that she'd gotten a bit harsh, as her expression abruptly softened and she added: "Please." She took a breath. "Rumi will never forgive herself if you don't heal."

Rumi. God, Zoey wanted to see her most of all. Was Rumi in pain? She wanted her to tell her not to feel guilty, she wanted to take her hands in– well… she could settle for feeling Rumi's hand on her shoulder, maybe. Survivor's guilt when they had all survived sounded like such a bad excuse not to be here. "She should be happy she got away without being hurt too bad", Zoey tried to reason. "It let her get help for us, right?"

Celine smiled tentatively, her eyes once again pained. "Yes, something like that. I keep trying to tell her but… well, you know how she is." She released a breath in what was almost a sigh, but heavier. Then she gathered herself, returning to action mode. Zoey still admired how she could do that. "I brought painkillers, your last dose will be wearing off soon. Zoey, would you like to drink something? And no solids yet I'm afraid but I could bring you some soup if you're hungry."

Zoey's mouth did feel kind of dry, her throat still scratchy. "Yeah, sure. Just some water."

She didn't feel hungry at all and wondered if that was normal or not. She asked as Celine slipped a hand under her back preparing to help Zoey sit up just enough to drink. Celine told her it wasn't something to worry about and Zoey believed her. She'd always felt safe with Celine, even when Celine was strict and demanding during training. She never pushed them too far and was clearly always caring, always having their best interest at heart.

Zoey groaned and whimpered a bit in pain as Celine raised her up and it was hard not to finally look down herself. Her body was still mostly covered by the blanket but her hands– her hands were also covered. In bandages. Thick and clunky, probably with splints under the bandages, they were completely wrapped up. Technically Zoey still couldn't see what was wrong but… it didn't bode well was all. She twitched in her panic, desperate to move, to prove to herself that they still worked that she could still–

"Don't", Celine said, commanding yet sympathetic, carefully pressing down on the arm closer to her with the hand she was holding Zoey's water with. "Don't move them. Your hands are going to be okay, Zoey, but not yet. Just be patient."

Zoey was shaking a bit, but she obeyed, unable to give Celine anything but a tight nod as she pressed her eyes closed briefly. She was okay. She was going to be fine. Celine wouldn't lie to her. Reluctantly she opened her eyes again, letting Celine guide the glass to her lips as she took a few tentative swallows. Then Celine lowered her to the pillow again, Zoey immediately feeling relief. Even holding herself up with assistance having apparently drained all her energy. Fuck.

"Thank the honmoon, right?", Zoey remarked nervously, feeling close to tears. "This level of bandaging in the shows usually means like… total mobility loss." Or a lost cause.

"Yes. You'll heal fine", Celine said without hesitation. "I promise."

The relief at that simple and probably impossible promise seeped into Zoey's chest like warm water. Her mentor's confidence was just that powerful, that meaningful to her.

"How bandaged up am I?", Mira asked then, beginning to sound a little less drowsy, though still speaking slowly, almost like she had to think about each word extra hard. "Is the tightness around my chest because of my ribs?"

Celine nodded absentmindedly as she prepared a syringe on the tray she'd brought. "Yes, I'm sorry if it's uncomfortable, but your broken ribs moving around would be worse."

Since Celine hadn't answered the first part of her question, Zoey turned her head to look at Mira again and told her: "Your head is wrapped up and you got a bandage on your arm. Your hands look fine though. Lucky you." The pang of jealousy felt dirty and twisted her stomach. Mira's head was completely wrapped, she didn't see even a sliver of pink. Her injuries were probably just as – if not more – severe than Zoey's and even if they weren't, she should be happy about that. It wasn't a damn competition.

As if to confirm that thought, Celine said: "You are both lucky", quite intently, almost chiding, as she came over to Zoey's side again. She fiddled briefly with something that tugged at the crook of her elbow, letting Zoey guess that she probably had an IV access there. A moment later she felt a bit light-headed, the pain in her chest dulling. "Now rest", Celine ordered again. "Let the honmoon heal you. Mira, if you want to try opening your eyes again, it might help to only open the left one", she added as she walked over to her too, likely with Mira's own fresh dose of painkillers.

Mira groaned a bit as she clearly tried to do as Celine had told her, and Zoey watched as her eye slowly fluttered open. Darting around for a moment it finally landed on her. "Oh, hi", Mira drawled with a slight smile. "You look like a… like a mummy."

Zoey laughed so abruptly that pain pulled at her chest for it. "Wow, very encouraging, thanks."

"A pretty mummy", Mira mumbled as if to justify herself. After looking her over another moment she added: "Your head is bandage free though. Lucky you."

"Fair enough", Zoey had to concede. Celine looked just about done with her work, heading towards the door again, and Zoey's chest abruptly squeezed at the thought of being left alone to rest again. Mira was so far away. "Celine, before you go…", she blurted, waiting until Celine looked at her expectantly. "Could you move the beds closer together?"

Celine smiled in understanding the moment the words had passed Zoey's lips. "Of course."

Thankfully the beds didn't screech as Celine pushed them together, the brief movement only slightly uncomfortable. The beds were edge to edge then, and once Celine had left, Zoey heard the sound of movement over the sheets. A moment later there was a very faint pressure and warmth against her right underarm. She couldn't move to take Mira's hand, and probably shouldn't ask her to hold her tighter, certain it would hurt if she did. That slight contact made her feel a thousand times better though, her heart a whole lot lighter. She turned her head to smile at Mira, who strained to still look at her without moving her neck, but the corner of her mouth tugged up too.

Zoey wasn't sure why she started crying again, if it was relief or grief or fear or maybe all of it at the same time, but with Mira there, it didn't feel quite as heavy.

Keeping her eye open for too long – which was pretty much anything longer than a minute – still hurt her head, even with the additional painkillers, so Mira continued to keep it closed. Being able to see the blurry outline of Zoey had been nice, but for now it was good enough to feel her, even through a layer of bandages. She couldn't hold her hand, unfortunately, as a hard splint kept her hand and wrist in place, through which Mira wouldn't feel her, but her arm was nice too.

They were both in rough shape, that much Mira couldn't deny. Before Celine had given her the painkillers again she'd started to feel the throbbing in her right thigh and left arm, as well as more discomfort from her damn ribs. And of course the headache. Her head. Her eye. What would she do if her eye wasn't okay? She already missed her wider field of view and hadn't even really gotten the chance to miss depth perception. Her face. What was she going to look like when the bandages eventually came off?

She knew that should probably matter least right now, but Mira wanted to know if she'd lost any of her hair. At the same time, she didn't want to know, which was why she hadn't asked. Maybe ignorance was kinder. Her neck still felt incredibly stiff, her head like a cinder block on top of it, her right eye impossible to pry open without searing pain. She couldn't imagine she'd been hit in the head hard enough to cause all that and not lost at least some of her hair.

She really shouldn't be complaining. Zoey didn't currently have use of her hands. From the sounds of her breathing, her lungs were in rough shape too. They were both lucky to be alive, nothing else should matter. and yet… she was their main visual. Her face was probably fucked up and likely so were the muscles in her leg. Zoey was their rapper and throwing shin-kal required pretty fine motor skills. How much of that could the honmoon reasonably fix? How much worse than usual was this? She didn't know, and it was terrifying.

Both Zoey and her were in and out of sleep throughout the day, Celine periodically checking in on them and making sure they had everything they needed. Making sure their bodies were moved just enough not to be damaged from the lack of movement. Making sure they drank some water. Making sure their pain wasn't too strong. She also left Mira's phone close to her hand so she could call at any time. Whenever Mira and Zoey were both awake they talked a bit, even as Mira still struggled with it a little, needing to go slow and blanking on some words. Zoey was patient with her. They talked about random stuff, light topics that distracted from the heavy atmosphere of worry. Worry for themselves, worry for each other, and worry for Rumi.

Where the hell was she? Why wasn't she coming to visit? Even if she felt guilty, Rumi should want to check on them – she would. It wasn't that Mira didn't believe Celine when she said Rumi was healthy, it was just that she trusted Rumi to hide what was actually going on with her. They'd used to hide fuck-ups, faults and fears from Celine all the time. Especially with how attentive Celine was being for them now, Mira didn't feel proud of that, but it had just felt necessary at the time. She hoped Celine was right and she would be ready to walk tomorrow, so she could go find Rumi herself.

Towards the evening Celine served both of them some soup, which Zoey ate too (with Celine's help) to Mira's relief, considering her missing appetite earlier. Then Celine said she'd have to switch their bandages. From her tone, as well as the fact that she topped up their painkillers first, it was clear this wasn't going to be comfortable. Mira suggested Zoey go first, knowing she would be more anxious if she saw it happen to Mira first.

Mira was kind of glad her neck was still too stiff and her eyesight too bad to really watch, only vaguely perceiving Celine slowly unwrapping Zoey, checking on and treating her wounds – which seemed to be healing well, at least – and then bandaging her up again. The worst was when she got to Zoey's chest and Zoey had to keep herself propped up against the headboard, groaning and whimpering.

"This part was harder when you were still unconscious but at least you didn't have to feel it", Celine told her with an apologetic grimace. "I'm sorry."

Zoey just grunted in forgiving acknowledgement.

The statement raised an interesting question in Mira's mind. "How long have we been unconscious?"

"Three days", Celine said.

Voice a bit strained, Zoey said: "How very biblical of us."

Celine didn't laugh at Zoey's joke. Instead she smiled almost nervously. "I'm just glad the waiting is over", she said. "Rumi has been… fussy." Face drawing further she added: "And inconsolable."

"Well, she should stop by", Zoey urged, and Mira wished she could have nodded in agreement.

"I don't disagree", Celine said with a resined sigh. "She'll come when she's ready." Celine finished up with Zoey, who finally collapsed back onto her pillow with a sigh of relief.

Then it was Mira's turn. Celine started with the stitched up gash she apparently had in her thigh, giving a cursory check to a few superficial cuts and bruises, as she had done for Zoey too. Then the cut on her arm was next and finally Celine checked on her ribs. The cuts being re-bandaged hadn't been so bad, and the compression bandage coming off from around her chest was a relief at first – until she moved just the slightest bit. She immediately hissed at the distinct ache of broken bones, whimpering a bit herself until Celine was finally done and put the compression bandage back on. Finally, she helped Mira sit up, which was easier on her than on Zoey, though the motion made her head throb.

"I'm going to lower the lights to change the bandage on your eye", Celine told her before turning off the overhead light and turning on a small lamp with soft, warm light she'd brought with her instead.

As the bandage slowly came off from around her head, Mira's heartbeat picked up speed. This was so stupid, but she'd yet to feel her hair fall down her neck. Bandage unwrapping, her head felt cold and light and Mira felt a distinct sting at her eyes that – despite everything else that was wrong – could only be tears. She needed not to think about it – she couldn't right now – so she searched her foggy brain for a distraction.

"What's even wrong with my eye?", she asked, voice shaking.

Celine's tone was soft and sympathetic, and she told her to close both her eyes gently before lifting the gauze away from her eye and explaining: "It's very bruised and sensitive, with a lot of damaged tissue around it." As Celine dabbed something onto her face, Mira could feel just how damaged her tissue was, the flesh tender under her touch. "Your skull was also fractured, but that should be mostly healed by now."

Next, Celine carefully tipped Mira's head backwards, her hand feeling prickly at her scalp as she supported the back of it, pulling up her right eyelid just a bit with her other hand and dropping in some kind of liquid, some of which rolled down Mira's cheek. Mira got a brief, incredibly blurry, incredibly dark glimpse of the world with that eye as she did – darker than she knew the room to be. She was trying hard not to think about any of it, a matching tear nonetheless coming down her healthy cheek.

"My skull is healed but my… my ribs are still cracked?", she asked, not actually caring that much, just needing something to focus on and having landed on that.

Celine sighed. "Well, with so much to heal… the honmoon had to prioritise."

"Ah." It had never been so bad that the honmoon couldn't heal all their injuries at once before. This was a limit she hadn't known existed, though she supposed it made sense. It was incredibly scary, but it made sense.

Before Celine replaced the gauze on her eye there were apparently other injuries on the side and back of her head she also reapplied some salve to before wrapping her head up again. The chances that Mira had any hair left were practically zero at that point, but she didn't say it, couldn't bring herself to. Celine and Zoey didn't say anything about it either, and Mira knew Zoey had been watching. Celine helped Mira lower herself to the pillow again without straining her neck, which would make her head hurt. She felt like her spinal chord was made of glass.

It was time to sleep after that and Mira was kind of relieved. She hoped she could just sleep through the night, and hopefully forget about her injuries and her likely shaved head. Maybe she'd have a nice dream. She asked Celine for something to help her sleep, just to be on the safe side, told Zoey good night, and drifted off not long after that, her hand on Zoey's arm and one more tear rolling down her cheek.

When consciousness dawned on her again, Mira had no memory of any dream, but she felt refreshed. There was no pain behind her eyes, which had been the most stubborn, a dull throb for most of yesterday even with the painkillers. She blinked as she came further awake, remembering too late to keep her right eye closed – only for no pain to come.

She could feel her eyelid moving under the bandage and though there was still some discomfort, it didn't hurt enough for her to close it again. She startled a bit when she saw a light there – not too bright, but a soft, shimmering pink, with whiter streaks. The light was moving, and after a moment – her sight still a bit blurry, blurrier than it usually was even without glasses or contacts – she eventually made out that it was… it was shaped like a person. Like shining strings wrapped around an invisible mannequin, lines of light shimmered around the outline of a figure in delicate waves.

Mira tried moving her head just a bit to see her better and the figure of light startled at the motion. The pink, that had been concentrated around its head, lightened into the same iridescent white of the rest of it, only slight flecks of the colour remaining. The form seemed to hesitate, then disappeared before Mira could say anything. Mira blinked, trying to orient herself, to make sense of what she'd seen.

Her right eye was still bandaged, so she couldn't have actually seen through it, but the figure had been kneeling on the right side of her bed, which she couldn't see with her left eye without turning her head more. Was she hallucinating? Or seeing visions of the honmoon? The way the lines of light had shimmered reminded her a bit of it. Maybe she'd just seen the honmoon and was imagining things on top of it. With how little she'd had to occupy her mind all of yesterday, it kind of made sense for her brain to start making shit up: Dreaming while awake, or while somewhere between sleep and consciousness.

A bit of light was filtering through the dark curtains, so it was already morning. Her neck feeling less stiff, Mira turned her head to find Zoey still sleeping. She had no desire to wake her, figuring the more sleep she got the better, so she picked up her readily available phone. Flinching at the screen's brightness she quickly turned it all the way down, a little disappointed that there was still some pain in her head at that. It would probably be pointless, but Mira checked her messages, phone maybe three inches away from her face so she could actually make anything out with her shortsightedness. She smiled when she found a 'get well soon' text from Bobby. She'd have to ask Celine later what he'd been told so she could know how to reply.

She opened her chat with Rumi. They only used it if they were planning a surprise for Zoey, otherwise just going for the group chat, so the last messages that greeted her were a bit old and… giddy. Excited for how Zoey was going to react to their birthday surprise: a rented turtle plushie big enough to sleep on. Zoey had tried to keep it but they'd insisted she couldn't. It would stop being special that way. Zoey had argued that she deserved to live special every day and Rumi had said that she already did, didn't she? And Mira had agreed because… they had each other. To her, that was more special than anything else in the world.

Trying not to cry as she shook away the memory, Mira's thumbs hesitated over the keyboard. "I miss you", she typed. No point in asking if she was actually okay (she would lie), no point in telling her to come visit (she definitely knew she should). Hitting send, the only thing Mira could think to do was to be honest about what she was feeling. The message showed up as read almost immediately, which was some relief at least, but no texting bubble appeared with a response. After five minutes, Mira gave up waiting.

She checked their social media pages, finding out there that the rest of their tour was cancelled and Huntr/x was on indefinite hiatus following a tragic rehearsal accident involving an explosion caused by a gas leak. Sticking shockingly close to the truth, Mira thought. It could come in handy she supposed. Their fans were heartbroken, sending endless streams of well-wishes and prayers that they would recover and return. Mira couldn't picture not returning as Huntr/x, but she also couldn't picture doing it, right now. She was tempted to post something and send them all into a tizzy, but that would be both cruel and irresponsible, so she didn't.

Not much later, Celine showed up with breakfast, almost like she'd known Mira was awake. Zoey blinking awake at the smell of it, finally declaring actual hunger, to Mira's relief. Celine helped Zoey sit up, leaned against a pillow propped against the headboard. Zoey winced less than she had yesterday. Honmoon healing really was no joke. Mira herself ended up sitting up on her own, feeling only a slight ache in her head and throbbing at her ribs. When she tried to move back on the bed to also lean against the headboard she was reminded by a slight uncomfortable pull that she still had a catheter.

Celine told her to wait and after making sure Zoey was okay on her own, Celine helped her rearrange along with the medical equipment. She also handed her her glasses, which fit a bit awkwardly over the bandaged side of her face, but it didn't hurt, so she'd accept it for the sake of clear vision. When Mira automatically brushed her fingers past her ears to get the hair out of the way, she felt only stubble one one side, bandaging on the other. Her heart lurched. Somehow she managed not to cry.

"You're already very mobile", Celine noted, clearly pleased. "After breakfast we can try standing and remove the catheter if you can handle it." Then she set up Mira's breakfast on a tray for her to eat herself.

Zoey, with her hands still bandaged, was less independent, grumbling at needing to be spoon-fed again. "One more day, Zoey", Celine told her. "Tomorrow you can try on your own."

Celine was so confident in their recovery, it almost shocked Mira. Of course the honmoon was strong, making their initial recovery measurable in days rather than weeks, but the specificity still confused Mira. How did she know Mira would be able to walk, but not see yet? Why did she think Zoey's hands would heal faster than her lungs? It had to be years of experience with the honmoon, she supposed.

Mira did manage to walk a few steps after breakfast, with Celine supporting her. Her thigh throbbed with every step and if she moved too quickly her head smarted, but she could do it. Holding on to Celine she could make it to the bathroom, so Celine freed her of the catheter as well as the IV access, moving her on to slightly weaker pain medication she'd take orally. With Zoey still exhausted just having to sit up, she had to stay bed bound for now.

"You're not free to roam yet either", Celine warned Mira when Zoey complained about that too. "No wandering off on your own. You're still on bed rest until I can pull your stitches either tonight or tomorrow. And don't strain your eyes, your head is probably still sensitive."

Mira reluctantly obeyed, telling herself she should stay by Zoey for now anyway, make her feel less alone in still being tied to that bed. It wasn't like she had a lot of energy herself yet, and through the day she discovered that bathroom trips also put a lot of strain on her ribs, which wasn't fun. Both of them were more awake today though, so they entertained each other with chatter, Mira reading Zoey fan messages when her eyes could handle her phone screen and Zoey pitching new song ideas.

The more time passed, the clearer a certain flaw in their conversation revealed itself – a hole. A piece was missing from them, a pause in their banter, an occasional silence in their conversation. More and more the absence of Rumi crystallised, slowly bringing down the mood, no matter how much they both tried to bring it back up. Neither of them mentioned it, but Mira knew they both felt it. By the time afternoon rolled around, Mira still hadn't received a message back from Rumi.

"Have you told her that we're not mad?", Zoey asked Celine during dinner, sounding helpless and frustrated, probably at the fact that such a thing would even have to be communicated to Rumi.

Celine grimaced. "Yes", she said. "I've told her you're not mad. I've told her you just want to see that she's okay. She's not ready."

"Not ready for what?", Zoey whined. "Why is seeing us so bad?" She looked close to tears, and Mira reached over to put a hand on her shoulder, even as the wound on her arm smarted.

"Coming to see you makes it real", Celine said, voice low, eyes averted. "It's not rational, trying to avoid it, I know. But I can't force her. Please understand that this is hard for her for reasons I can't tell you about. She loves you, she's just struggling."

She loves you. The words ached in Mira's chest because she wasn't feeling very loved right now. Not by Rumi. They should be helping Rumi through her struggle, Rumi shouldn't be avoiding them. Anyone else, fine, just not them. She made up her mind then, to go looking. First, Celine did her bandage changing routine, commenting on all the improvements since yesterday, which were impressive, Mira could feel it.

She dared look while Celine worked on Zoey this time and… okay, so it wasn't pretty. Her whole torso was back and blue with two parallel gashes across her chest. Mira wondered if Zoey had any ribs that weren't broken. Her arms were admittedly doing better, more of a greenish purple already and Celine was proud when Zoey could curl her fingers a little, even as her hands shook with the effort, before Celine put the splints back on. There were stitches in cuts on her hands too, some looking more surgical than others, reminding Mira of how Celine had described Zoey's injuries as 'needing to be put back together', and shuddering.

When Celine was finally done, once again finishing with Mira's eye, which could almost make out shapes during the brief glimpse she got as the bandage was removed, she told them good night and left. Mira waited for another five minutes after that, just to be sure Celine was busy somewhere else, before telling Zoey she was going for a walk and getting up out of bed.

"Be careful", Zoey told her, voice small and worried. Mira knew Zoey hated that she couldn't go with her, probably suspecting what she was planning to do, and she felt a bit bad.

Shooting a smile back at her she promised: "I will be", before slipping out the door.

She was limping a little, holding on to the wall whenever she could as she walked to support herself. Doing that also helped since her lacking depth perception finally became an issue. It was frustrating. Walking was already easier again than it had been this morning, but her body still ached a bit with every step. Not sure where exactly she was headed, she tried thinking about what Rumi would be doing in this situation. She could be holed up in her room but… thinking of anxious, restless Rumi, Mira headed towards the training grounds. Rumi's caged tiger behaviour was usually worst around evening time.

Mira's heart tripped over itself a bit as she actually heard sounds coming from that direction; dull impacts and grunts of exertion ringing out into the night. It was Rumi. That was definitely Rumi and Mira could finally be sure she was okay, could finally ask why she would avoid them.

Rumi was training in the half-dark, so it was a bit hard for Mira to make her out when she first reached the stretch of open land that served as their training grounds. There were targets for throwing knives or archery, sectioned off squares of mulch for sparring and wooden dummies for weapon practice. Rumi was at one of those dummies, but she didn't have her sword out. She was using her bare hands, which was unusual, grunting with each impact of her fists against the hard wood.

She was dressed weird too, Mira realised as she got closer. The night air was a bit chilly, but Rumi was wearing some kind of skin-tight oddly striped leggings and long sleeved shirt along with shorts and a cropped, sleeveless black hoodie that looked… really off in a way that Mira couldn't immediately place. A moment later she saw a strand of purple hair flash, whipping out of her hood at about chest length and that was when it clicked: the hood was up and there wasn't a braid hanging either down her back under the jacket or coming out the front.

Mira couldn't contemplate Rumi's potential haircut for long though, because her whole mind came to a screeching halt when she finally got close enough to realise that– no. Rumi wasn't wearing leggings and long sleeves at all. Rumi's arms and legs were bare, and those strange lines were–

Pure, years-old instinct drove Mira's hands into the honmoon, wrenching her gok-do from it with a panic that nearly knocked her off her feet all on its own. Her automatic fighting stance felt unsteady, her arm and leg immediately throbbing, her chest protesting. Her eye stayed pinned on Rumi, the distance to her still too far to reach quickly but hard to gauge exactly with just one working eye. None of that really mattered when all her muscles felt locked up anyway though, nausea rolling through her as she just… kept… looking.

At the patterns. Rumi had– Rumi had patterns.

The moment Mira had summoned her blade, Rumi's fight against the dummy had stilled, her body freezing for a moment mid-movement before her hands dropped. They were shaking, and her breathing was uneven, laboured. She turned her head back just far enough for Mira to see a strand of purple again, but not to see her face. She was just looking at Rumi's shoulders rise and fall with her breath.

"Well?", Rumi asked, her voice sending lighting through Mira's frozen body. She sounded exactly as she always had and it ached. She hadn't expected her to talk, hadn't– she had no idea what she'd expected. "Aren't you going to attack?", Rumi went on, her tone unreadable, even as she trembled. When Mira answered with nothing but silence during which all of her muscles refused to move, Rumi's voice turned sharper: "You see patterns and you strike, Mira. Hesitation can mean death."

Mira didn't ask if it was really her. She could feel in her bones – in her soul – that it was, which was an awful, horrible feeling. The question she did end up asking was no less stupid, no less pointless.

"What did you do?"

It came out as barely more than a whisper and was more of a plea than anything. A plea to Rumi, maybe to the universe, to anyone or anything that might listen.

She knew what Rumi had done. What she had done was branded onto her skin in jagged purple patterns, but Mira still couldn't process it. Couldn't fathom how or why this would happen, couldn't– couldn't accept that it was true, that this was real. It had to be a trick, or a mistake, or–

"I did what I had to", Rumi said quietly, fists clenching. "To save you. You and Zoey."

Mira registered belatedly that she was shaking her head. She had nothing but this horrified refusal, a pointless denial of the dread that threatened to settle into her aching bones. "No", she said, still shaking her head, her own hands beginning to shake around her gok-do she still held half-raised towards Rumi's back. "No, you don't get to do this, you–" Mira was cut off by a sob that sent pain blossoming outward through her ribcage. Why was she even still talking, still bargaining when there was no point?

"You're not her. You're a demon." She nearly choked on the word. It wouldn't register, wouldn't reach true understanding. It still felt like it was Rumi standing there in front of her, refusing to turn around, keeping her back towards her. Rumi who had– "How could you?", Mira breathed, desperate tears pressing out of her eyes as her head throbbed and vision swam.

How could she? How could Rumi make a deal with Gwi-Ma? How could she sell her soul, how dare she? Her Rumi's soul, her friend, her leader, her light in the dark, her family!? How could she just stand there, knowing what had to happen next? Mira shook with the contradicting emotions, with fury and pain and frustration and sorrow.

She heard Rumi swallow thickly. "I'm sorry", she said. Nothing else. Just. I'm sorry.

She stayed standing there. Like she was waiting. Waiting for Mira to stab her in her back. Rumi wouldn't even face her for her to do it– that demon wouldn't even– Mira's fingers clenched around the staff of her gok-do, her teeth clenched against the pain of standing here like this. Still not able to get her body to fucking move. To fucking just– do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Her gok-do dissolved, her shoulders slumping. She couldn't do it. Not yet. Not her.

Mira didn't know what else to do. What else to say. There was nothing to say. Not to– not to this thing wearing Rumi's body like a meat shield. She knew turning around and leaving it alive was wrong, but she didn't know what else to do when she couldn't bring herself to do any of the things she knew she should. So she turned around. And left.

Her steps faltered almost immediately, her injured leg buckling under her body that suddenly felt far too heavy and uncoordinated. Mira braced for a painful collision with the packed dirt below her– only for strong hands to grab under her arms and stop her fall. Soundless besides her breathing, Rumi held on in such a way as to not touch her ribs, hesitating a moment. It almost seemed like she was trying to gauge if Mira could stand if she raised her back up, but Mira definitely couldn't. She was shaking at the thought of her hands on her, at the sheer confusion at this turn of events as well as an animal fear that the demon was going to kill her.

Slowly and carefully, the thing in Rumi's body lowered Mira to the ground instead. Looking up and back at it the moment she could, Mira couldn't see her face, the angle still too far from the side, her hood pulled deep and messy purple hair obstructing her view. Until – as if noticing her gaze – Rumi turned to look back at her just the tiniest bit and Mira saw a gold, slitted eye peer down at her. Her heart rate instantly doubled and the demon's face twisted in what looked – for the briefest second Mira could see it – like sheer panic, before she abruptly disappeared with a dark red flash.

Mira was left alone on the floor of the training grounds, shivering as cold seeped into her sparse, loose clothing. She barely felt it, wasn't shaking because of it. She kept trying to reason her way out of having just seen what she saw. It was an illusion. The real Rumi was elsewhere. She was hallucinating. Rumi would never make a deal. Never. Except–

To save you.

Rumi. Her wonderful, brave, stupid Rumi. Rumi was just reckless and self-sacrificing enough to do it if she thought Mira and Zoey would… they were in rough shape, but not that rough, right? No. Nothing could justify this. Even if it had been that bad, Rumi should have never– how could she? Mira laid on the ground, staring up at the stars and cried. She had no idea how she was going to make it back to bed, knowing she wouldn't have the strength and barely able to care. It felt more right to be here. On the ground. Miserable. Coming apart at the seams because a universe without the shine of Rumi's soul in it didn't make any sense to her.

"I told you not to wander off on your own", a voice interrupted her spiralling thoughts, far sooner than she had expected. Turning her head a bit, she saw Celine crouching down to her.

"How did you know I was out here?", Mira asked, voice raspy from crying, flinching as the hiccuping of her chest moved her broken ribs again.

Celine sighed, reaching careful hands around her to slowly help her sit up. "Rumi came to fetch me", she said.

Mira froze, staring at her in disbelief. "You– you talk to her?" Rumi had talked to her? To tell her where Mira was? It didn't make any sense.

"Of course I do", Celine said, sounding slightly irritated. "Or I try. I told you she's been a bit difficult." Celine gestured as if to continue to get Mira to her feet, but Mira wasn't cooperating, still just staring.

"A bit difficult!?", she asked, thinking she couldn't have possibly heard that right. How could she describe Rumi being a– a demon as 'being a bit difficult'?? Was Celine in denial somehow? She had to be. "Why is she even still here?", Mira went on questioning her. "Why haven't you…" Why haven't you killed her? Celine should have killed her. It was her duty as a hunter, it was– it was Mira's duty. And yet, she hadn't been able to make herself do it, wasn't even able to speak the words.

Celine ignored the second, half-formed question and answered the first: "This is where she belongs", she said firmly. "It's her home."

"It was her home", Mira corrected, voice shaking. "That Rumi is gone."

Celine looked at her then, meeting her eyes in a way that sent a chill down her spine. She could see the seasoned hunter in that gaze, a promise of pain should she be defied. In all her years being trained by her, Mira had never seen her quite like that. "Rumi stays here", she said in a way that brooked no argument. "Where she is safe. End of discussion."

Mira's words dried up, rendered entirely speechless by that declaration she couldn't quite write off as wilful ignorance. It was wilful something, but not ignorance. The sheer certainty in Celine's tone of voice was exactly like her certainty that their wounds would heal, maybe even stronger. Mira didn't understand, couldn't quite make sense of why Celine would think this was a good idea, but had no choice but to acquiesce. She let Celine pull her to her feet, half dragging her back to bed, where she laid for a long time, sleep refusing to find her. Next to her, Zoey had already fallen asleep while she was gone and knowing she would have to tell her in the morning what she had seen, Mira almost hoped she wouldn't wake up again when she finally drifted off to sleep.

She wished she could have just died for them. That would have been easier. For all of them.

Instead she was still just this. Instead she'd just made it all worse.

Physically, Rumi sat curled up in the corner of her room, her skin burning, the cold of the wall she pressed herself to barely relief from it. Mentally she was fleeing the horrors of her body again, to instead watch over them. Mira was finally asleep. She hadn't woken Zoey, and Rumi was glad. Zoey needed rest, still, and this news would break her. She wished she could spare her from it.

She shouldn't have left her room, should have paid better attention. There was only so much time she could spend unmoving though, and she needed to practive to endure. The pain had been so strong it had drowned out her other senses and she'd not heard Mira walk up. She hadn't been covered, not hidden.

Rumi had tried. She'd tried covering her patterns the way she'd used to, but she couldn't do it. Every time she tried to put on more clothes than absolutely necessary, she burned, her body temperature rising until she felt like she was being cooked alive, the fabric choking her. Her vision would go blurry, her mind filling with chants of: liar, liar, liar, monster, demon, killer, liar, and images of Zoey and Mira in the rubble would flash in front of her eyes. The thought of hiding for even a second more would make her double over with nausea until she scrambled to pull the clothes off again and collapse to the floor, shivering. Not because she was cold – she was never cold anymore – but because she knew it was all her fault.

She knew she deserved to be hated. She knew she had failed them and wasn't even strong enough to keep protecting them anymore. She wasn't strong enough anymore to pretend she wasn't what she was. "I miss you", Mira had texted her this morning. Rumi had wanted to reply: "I miss me, too."

She was so tired.

From the moment she'd first seen them like that, she'd felt hollowed out. Within one horrible instant her entire life had died, had narrowed to two souls, flickering in the aether. She couldn't let them go. Not yet. Not them. Never them – it should have been her, but it had been too late to die for them, so she'd unmade herself for them instead, had finally cracked herself open and let all of her corruption spill out. It still wasn't enough. They were still suffering. And she couldn't hide anymore, couldn't pretend to be someone who didn't deserve to suffer in their stead.

In a way she was glad Mira had seen. They had to find out eventually. She'd wanted to let them heal more first, hadn't wanted to risk their health. But the sooner they could heal that last wound – the one in their souls that Rumi would be of no help mending – the better, she supposed.

They looked so peaceful in their sleep. Before they'd woken up it had unnerved her. Rumi had kept pacing back and forth, afraid she'd done something wrong, afraid their souls wouldn't recover due to her tainted work. She'd fretted over their bodies, poured all she had into them, barely giving herself time to recharge until Celine had to chase her away so she would get some sleep of her own.

But they'd woken up.

They were healing on their own again and Rumi had cried for hours once she'd realised, even if Zoey's waking up had startled her a bit. She kept helping of course, kept up her penance. She just had to be a bit more careful, especially since Mira's eye was finally whole. The emptiness in Rumi's own socket was almost a relief, a reassurance that she could still help them. She also enjoyed tracing along her fingers as much as she could with how hard they were to move currently. Their tokens she held close as proof that they were okay.

Now she knelt at Mira's bedside again, not with her body, but with everything else she had left, and reached out to mend her further. Pain flowed from Mira's head into Rumi's and she revelled in it, savoured it. Every bit of it was pain she spared her. The pain she could sense in Mira's soul was unreachable to her, but this pain at least, she could fix. Slowly but surely, Mira could be free of it. And Rumi didn't mind holding on to it. Mira had been right.

She wasn't Rumi anymore.

She was just this. And this was the least that creature could do.