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Sodachi bid farewell to Hitagi, then slung her school bag over her shoulder. She meandered out of the meeting room, out of the building, and across campus. Her apartment was a short bus ride away, but it would be a few more minutes before it arrived. As she waited, Sodachi admired the hues of the setting sun off on the horizon. It was a serene sight.
It was a serene sight which was interrupted by Sodachi’s phone blowing up out of nowhere. She glanced down at her phone, then groaned when she saw who the texts were from. It was Koyomi Araragi.
Sodachi picked up her phone, ready to tell Koyomi to die in some uncreative manner. However, she paused when she saw what he was actually saying.
“I heard from Hitagi that the two of you are planning a Gay-Straight Alliance event.”
“Since I was under the impression, and she has since confirmed to me, that she is straight, that implies that you are gay.”
“This has never come up, so I’m worried about bringing this up to you, but I feel like that if this is some important element of your identity, I should hear about it from you.”
Then there was a brief pause in messages, about 20 or 30 seconds, before another message was sent.
“You’re transgender?”
“Since when?”
Sodachi stared at these messages with a sense of bafflement hanging over her. Another 30 seconds passed before another message appeared.
“Hitagi has informed me that you are a woman. I’m sorry if I made any faux pas.”
Sodachi was tempted to head to the nearest sea and throw her phone in so that she might never need to consider these messages again. However, as that was the immature option, she decided to opt for something else.
“Yes, I am transgender. I have been the entire time I’ve known you. Did you not realize this?”
Sodachi opted to meet Koyomi’s panicked chaos with something more level-headed, even if that’s not how she was actually feeling. It was better to fish out information regarding what Koyomi thought of her, rather than be immediately confrontational. It was rare for her to act like this, but she was always more sensitive when it came to gender.
Besides, she could chew him out the next time they saw each other in person. Although, considering their apartments were next to one another, Sodachi was a little afraid that might be just a few minutes away.
This had to be without a doubt one of the most baffling things Koyomi had ever said to Sodachi. By the time the bus arrived, she was still staring at those messages. However, instead of responding, she opted to leave him on read. She could deal with this another time.
It just didn’t make any sense. While they hadn’t known each other for a long time each time they met in childhood, that still ensured that they had known each other at different times of their life. Sodachi had a strong idea of who Koyomi was from seeing how he had changed and grown. It also gave her insight into his habits and outlook on life. She was sure that he had felt the same, but apparently, he didn’t think so much about their childhood together.
Sure, by the time they met for the third and final time in high school, Sodachi had begun her transition and was presenting as a woman, but before that? Koyomi should have seen her as just another boy. She hadn’t told anyone about being trans because she hadn’t even known it herself at the time.
Was he just that stupid? Had he completely forgotten their childhood experiences together? With how often he referred to Sodachi as his dear childhood friend, she was under the impression he had fond memories of those times, but was that really the case?
After she got off the bus, Sodachi was able to get into her apartment unimpeded. Of course, if Koyomi was home, he would have been able to hear her door opening and closing. If he wanted to talk to her about this, it would be unavoidable. Still, she had been afraid he might be camping outside, so getting inside without issue was refreshing.
Once she was home and settled in, Sodachi did the only thing she could think to do: she texted Hitagi.
“Araragi didn’t know I’m trans?”
“How does that happen?”
A minute later, Sodachi got a call. It was Hitagi. She picked up her phone. It was a little funny to do a phone call in this situation, when Hitagi was likely in the apartment right next to hers, but it would still work fine.
“I would like to sincerely apologize for my actions. If I had known he didn’t know, I wouldn’t have said anything.” Even through the phone call, Sodachi could hear Hitagi bowing seiza-style. “I thought it was obvious.”
Sodachi laughed awkwardly. “It’s okay, so did I… Really, this comes as a shock to me. I don’t know how he didn’t know.”
“You know Koyokoyo. He can be a bit clueless.”
Sodachi let out a sigh that was partially also a laugh. “Sure, but clueless about this? I mean, we knew each other as kids. He saw me before my transition. What, did he just forget what I looked like and filled in his memories later?”
“Probably.”
That broke Sodachi. She started laughing, even if she was trying to restrain herself. Eventually, she was able to recompose herself and resume the conversation.
“...What a guy, huh?”
“Isn’t he charming? This is why I love him.”
“You do you. I can’t say I’m happy with this.”
“Well, what can you say? It’s not like he’s seen you naked.” An involuntary shudder ran through Sodachi when Hitagi said that. It was one thing for Hitagi to see her naked. That had happened several different times, here or there. They changed in the same rooms enough times for misshapes to happen. They were both girls, so it was no big deal. At least, that’s what Hitagi insisted, so Sodachi tried to not think anything of it.
Hitagi was just another girl, so that was okay. Sodachi was just another girl. Koyomi Araragi was not. The idea of Koyomi seeing Sodachi naked was so mortifying that she nearly dropped her phone.
“Even if he hasn’t,” Sodachi nearly shouted, “isn’t it obvious in every other way? Isn’t it obvious just from looking at me or hearing my voice? Is Araragi really that clueless?”
“Well, yes, but I don’t think that’s the reason why. I think you actually do a good job putting in the effort to pass. It’s quite remarkable and I think you deserve to recognize that within yourself.”
“T-thanks…” Sodachi fell backwards onto her couch, then slumped downwards. She was blushing furiously by now. She couldn’t handle compliments at the best of times and certainly not when she was under such pressure. It was worse for the elements of herself that she was most critical of.
She was being complemented. It would be best for her to accept it. A cis woman was saying she passed. That should mean something.
Well, it wasn't the first time Hitagi had said that, although it wasn't always so strong. Moreover, the situation with Koyomi was still hanging over her thoughts.
“Whatever you think of him, Koyokoyo has the best of intentions. If he had known this whole time, he would have done everything he could to accommodate you. However, based on everything I know, I believe you would rather him not make a big deal for it. In a sense, isn't it better for him to not have figured it out until now?”
“Maybe? I guess? I don’t know…” Sodachi groaned. “I’m beginning to wish he never figured it out to begin with. Will he start seeing me differently because of this?”
“No.”
“O-oh. That was a rhetorical question…”
“I know.”
“O-oh. Okay. That’s good to know…”
“Koyokoyo won’t think of you any differently because that’s not how he operates. Koyokoyo isn’t so superficial as to change how he thinks of someone based on their identity. You are Sodachi Oikura, so that’s all you will ever be to him.”
“That’s reassuring, but when you put it that way, it sounds ominous…” Sodachi laughed a little. “You’re right, though. If Araragi thought differently because of this, it would be a big shock. He’ll overreact and do everything he can to accommodate me, but he won’t judge me or think less of me. I guess it’s fine.”
“It is. I’m glad you’re feeling better about this.”
“Thanks. I… should probably go. We both have homework to deal with.”
“That we do.” The pair began exchanging their farewells, then hung up.
Once the call was over, Sodachi dragged herself off the couch. Even after talking to Hitagi, the situation was still so baffling for her. She could deal with this, but…
What a strange person Koyomi Araragi was.