Chapter Text
Two weeks of house arrest had officially pushed James Sirius Potter to insanity. He stared out of his bedroom window at the blue-grey lake, a view he'd usually loved but was rapidly growing to hate. A familiar dangerous smirk tugged at his lips.
James had two rules in life: never stay still and never apologise for it. Even trapped in his room, his body couldn't stop moving, his mind crackling with possibilities, every prank, every hex, every beautiful disaster he could conjure. He needed a distraction, and nothing cured boredom quite like a little chaos.
But first, food. His stomach growled loud enough to shake him out of bed, prompting him to head downstairs.
The Potters lived in a two storey house in a muggle neighborhood. Harry hadn't wanted his children growing up in the wizard world because being famous made things complicated. He didn't want the spotlight going to his kids' heads. He preferred a normal life. Well as normal as it could be with three young wizards.
James sat on the dining table. “Morning mum,” he called out.
“Morning Jamie,” said Ginny.
“Don’t call me Jamie, mum, I’m not a girl,” he groaned.
The daily prophet was lying on the table. James flipped through the pages lazily until his eyes caught headlines.
TED REMUS LUPIN: A YOUNG SINGING SENSATION RELEASES ANOTHER HIT SONG.
Ted Lupin the twenty years old wizard behind the revolutionary Moonbane Elixir, a potion, which permanently removes werewolf curse, has topped the wizarding wireless network once again with his new single “Borrowed Names”.
Known for his dystopian song writing, Lupin's songs explore themes of belonging, broken systems, injustice, and quiet resistance. He is also a vocal advocate for minority rights.
Fluent in almost ten languages. Lupin continues to shrug off the “heart throb” label. When asked about the new song he simply said,
“Some songs just write themselves when you have spent your life trying to figure out where you belong.”
“Will you look at this? Bro’s becoming famous day by day,” James snorted.
“Are you jealous?”Albus asked from across the table.
“Why would I be jealous of my brother,” said James. “I’m proud of him,”
“We all are,” Ginny smiled.
“Je me souviens encore de lui en train de chercher des ingrédients pour ses potions. Bon sang, il dormait même par terre ” Albus spoke in French, shaking his head.
James laughed. “Et tu lui glissais des couvertures en cachette pour que Maman ne s'en aperçoive pas,”
Ginny looked from one boy to the other and sighed.
“Teddy made you fluent in other languages too but the rest of us can’t understand a word,” she said with a warm smile.
“Sorry mum, I said I still remember him searching for ingredients for his potion. He even slept on the floor,” Albus repeated in English.
“And I said he used to sneak him blankets so Mum wouldn’t notice,” said James.
Albus shrugged. “He needed sleep. Someone had to help,”
“Don’t act like you weren’t his little assistant.” James smirked.
“I. Was. helping,” Albus said, stressing every word.
“Sure you did,” James leaned back in his chair. “Still can’t believe he actually did it, Moonbane Elixir, songs topping the charts, next he’ll be on wireless network every week.”
“As long as he’s eating properly and staying healthy, I am happy,” said Ginny.
“He won’t be,” James and Albus said together.
“Well, at least one of us is doing something useful,” James groaned.
“James-” warned Ginny.
“I'm just saying,” He took another toast. “Teddy gets to invent world changing potion and I can't even do a silly prank,”
“Silly prank? James you crashed into a slope and nearly broke your leg,” said Ginny.
“So what? It was a tiny wound, What's the big deal,”
James had crashed two weeks ago while flying low over the trees near the lake in the dark. He misjudged the height, clipped a thick branch and was thrown into the rocky slope below. The fall had torn a deep gash and sprained his ankle. He limped for two days but for James it was a “little wound”.
“Morning,” Harry's voice came from the doorway.
“Good morning,” said Ginny, sliding a cup of coffee towards him.
“Anything special in the news today?” Harry noticed the open newspaper under James's elbow.
“Teddy again," Ginny smiled.
“Another song!” Albus said cheerfully.
“And more praises, they are calling him a heart throb,” James said tapping the paper.
“Well, he has earned it,” Harry said quietly. “Are you guys planning something today?” He looked at his sons.
“Nothing special,” said James. He bit the toast a little harder, his jaw clenched.
“Lily is still asleep, I'll go wake her up,” said Ginny pushing her chair back.
“Dad, can I visit Malfoy manor?” Albus asked, turning towards Harry. “Scorpius invited me over, I have to teach him how to use a cell phone.”
James snorted. “So his grandfather gave him permission to use a cell phone?”
“His dad doesn't mind if he uses Muggle gadgets, and I don't think he cares much about what his grandfather thinks,” replied Albus.
“Hmm Malfoy manor?” Harry said, looking at Ginny who gave a You decide shrug before heading upstairs.
“Just for today, please Dad,” Albus pleaded.
After a moment, Harry nodded and said. “Fine, but no detours, I'll take you there myself and don't forget to text me when you want to come back."
“I will Dad, thanks.” Albus’s face lit up.
James watched the exchange silently, how Albus got the permission so easily but he kept his mouth shut, for now.
A few moments later Ginny came back downstairs with Lily.
“Morning Daddy,” she said cheerfully.
“Morning sweetie,” said Harry, kissing her on cheek.
“It's about Teddy again?” Lily said catching the sight of the headline.
“Yeah,” James said flatly. “I'm going upstairs, I'm done,”
Harry looked up. “James-”
“I said I'm done,” he said again and left the table.
Lily blinked. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing new sweetheart, it's James being James, you eat your breakfast,” said Ginny.
“I'll go pack my backpack,” Albus said turning to Ginny “Mum, Dad said I can visit Malfoy manor,”
“Oh? Ok good, no problem,” Ginny smiled.
Harry stared at the doorway where James left with a worried look settling over his face.
James closed his room's door a little harder than necessary. He leaned with the wood closing his eyes, a sigh escaped from his lips.
Yesterday I asked to go to Fred's. And the answer had been a swift no.
Too soon after the crash, you guys are up to no good. I haven't earned that trust back.
He flopped on the bed staring at the ceiling. Since he wasn't allowed out, he had asked Fred to come over instead. He had to try the hex he was practicing. He wanted to show Fred what it could do.
Fred had already agreed to sneak out at night, they were going to test the hex James had been practicing for two days. Something impressive…something that will prove he wasn't just a reckless disappointment.
He was already imagining the look on dad's face when it worked. It would work, he told himself firmly.
A sudden loud WHOOSH echoed through the house, making him jump up. A wide grin flickered across his face. It must be Fred.
“Sup Aunt Ginny,” said Fred grinning stepping out of the fireplace brushing soot off his clothes. “Uncle Harry."
“Hello Fred! How are you? Ginny asked warmly.
“Enjoying life as usual,” Fred smirked.
“James is in his room- Ginny began.
“Come on up Freddie,” James called from the stairs.
Harry stood by the coat rack, pulling on his leather jacket. He was about to drop Albus off at Malfoy Manor before heading to the Burrow. Lily had insisted on tagging along, eager to spend the evening with her grandparents, Molly and Arthur.
“I hope you two are not planning anything reckless,” Harry said quietly pointing his finger at James. “Keep an eye on him Fred, he's pushing his luck.”
Fred offered a mock salute to him. “Yes Uncle Harry, on my best behaviour,” he grinned.
From the top of the stairs James rolled his eyes.
Harry gave them one last suspicious glare and said. “I’ll be back before dark, Ginny,” said Harry.
“Okay, safe travels,” Ginny kissed them goodbye.
Fred climbed up the stairs and went to James's bedroom, closing the door behind him. He flopped on the bed.
“Still grounded, then?”asked Fred as he sat on his bed.
“Yep. Dad won't let me out of sight since the crash,” said James leaned against his desk and huffed.
“To be fair mate, it's not the first time you nearly killed yourself, Uncle Harry is right to be angry,” Fred pointed out. “Before you crashed into the trees, you almost broke your neck trying to pull off a Wronski Feint.”
“Well, I didn't die did I? What's the fuss about,” James groaned waving a hand dismissively. “Anyways, forget about that. Are you ready to see my new spell?”
“Sure, remind me what this spell is supposed to do again?” asked Fred.
“It's a spatial manipulation spell,” James explained with excitement. “When you hit someone with it, It’'ll distort their perception. It makes everything around them twice as far away as it actually is. It totally throws off the opponents balance.”
“Brilliant, what is the incantation?” Fred asked.
“verticulum precepto,” said James grinning. “I've been testing it on spiders. The little buggers keep hitting the wall with full speed, thinking it was far.”
“So not exactly a controlled experiment,” Fred said dryly.
“Oh come on, it worked and I've been improving it,” said James. “I want to see the look at Dad's face when I show him, I created a brand new hex,”
“Uncle Harry? You're going to show him,” Fred asked bewildered.
“Yes, right after we test it tonight, by the lake,” said James.
“On whom, if I may ask?” Fred asked.
“Lily’s little corgi, who else?” James said with a neutral expression.
“Paddy? No way, I actually like him,” Fred protested.
“Relax, it's completely harmless, everything's gonna be fine,” said James with a confident grin.
“I really hope so,” Fred sighed.
Hours later the house has settled into its evening quiet. Ginny sat in the living room reading a muggle magazine, the rustle of turning pages was the only sound. James has heard the Floo network roar an hour ago, Harry has returned with Albus and the house has been peaceful since. James has already convinced his mom to let Fred stay for the night.
James checked his watch and it was 11:47 PM. Lucky for him Lily stayed at the burrow tonight so he had already snuck her corgi, Paddy named after grandpa Sirius into his room.
Fred tiptoed in the room, closing the door softly behind him. “Ready?”
“Yes,” James whispered.
He slipped out of bed, his shoes already on, picked up Paddy and crept towards the window. The garden stretched below, bathed in moonlight, the lake glinting in the distance.
They had just climbed halfway out when a voice behind him made him freeze.
“Going somewhere?”
James spun around so fast that his neck cracked.
Albus was standing in the doorway, arms crossed with a knowing look on his face.
“Al,” James hissed. “Go back to bed,”
“Not happening,” he stepped into the room.
Fred and James looked at each other. James sighed “you won't tell Mum and Dad, promise?”
“I promise,” replied Albus with determination.
“And If we get caught it's your fault,” said Fred, grinning.
“Deal,”
“By the way if anything happened to Paddy, Lily's gonna kill you,” Albus warned.
“I know,” whispered James.
They reached the edge of the lake and put Paddy down. James raised his wand, focusing every thought on the sense of proximity, on the feeling of distance and closeness flipping, on the dog. He took a deep breath.
"Verticulum Percepto!"
A soft pulse of golden light shot from his wand and washed over the dog.
For a moment, nothing happened.
Then the golden light shattered. A violent recoil slammed into James's chest, throwing him backwards. His wand flew from his hand, and his head cracked against a stone at water edge.
Pain exploded behind his eyes. Warm liquid trickled down his forehead, into his eyes, stinging. He tried to push himself up, but his arm gave out, and he collapsed on his side.
"James!" Fred's voice was muffled.
"Jamie!" That was Albus, closer, but panicked.
James blinked through the red haze. The world swam. He felt something wet soaking into his collar, dripping onto the grass. His head throbbed with every heartbeat.
Then strong familiar hands gripped him.
"James, stay still. Don't move."
His dad was kneeling beside him, wand already out, muttering charms. James tried to swat him away, but his arm felt like lead.
"M'fine," he slurred. "Just a scratch.”
“You're bleeding, you're not fine,” Harry snapped.
Carefully scooping his son in his arms he carried him back to the house.
Back inside the living room, Ginny was sitting close to him on sofa. The bleeding had stopped but the gash was deep.
Harry was standing over them, his arms crossed. When Ginny finally sat back, the wound sealed but the bruising already darkening, she let out a shaky breath.
"He'll have a scar. But he'll be fine.”
“What were you thinking? That spell... Harry ran his hands through his hair. “It could have killed you James…Do you understand that? One wrong angle and it could have been your throat.”
“It…it was under control–
“It was not under control,” Harry cut him off. “Every time… every damn time you throw yourself in danger like it's a bloody game.”
“It's not a game, it's…its magic…I'm good at it, better than most people my age,” said James. “You wouldn't understand.”
“Wouldn't understand? You think I don't understand ambition? I know exactly what it means to push too far. There is a difference between courage and being reckless enough to get yourself killed,” Harry snapped.
“Really?" James laughed bitterly. "Easy for you to say. You got to do whatever you wanted. No rules. No one was grounding you. You enjoyed your life, Dad, because you didn't have parents.”
“James!” Ginny shouted and stood up instantly. “What are you-”
Harry raised a hand to stop her. He looked at his son for a long moment before leaving the room, afraid that he might say something he'll regret.
The door clicked shut behind him. James' words echoed through his mind.
You enjoyed your life.
Enjoyed it?
Faces flashed before his eyes: Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore, Dobby, Hedwig, Remus, Fred, Tonks, bodies lying motionless in the great hall. The blood.The silence after the battle.
A tear fell from his eye. He held his head in his hands.
He remembered holding James for the first time so tiny and fragile he swore to protect his boy, from the world, from loneliness, from dark.
He doesn't know I can't survive another loss. Harry thought. He doesn't know every time he falls, I see Sirius falling through the veil, every time he bleeds and laughs it off, I see Fred.
I wanted to give him everything I never had. But I forgot to give him trust.
I wanted to protect him but maybe the protection changed into fear.
What have I done?