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He heard her before he saw her. She was laughing, head bowing over a man's shoulder. Her hands were on him too. It was like she wanted the whole world to know who he belonged to. They were waiting in the line and Nevada couldn't see the suited man's face. He turned back to his coffee after the broad quieted down. His new narc had asked to meet him there. Fucking Starbucks.
"Rafael and Annie?", the barista called.
"Coming!", the woman responded.
Nevada turned to watch her. The way she moved out of her seat - it seemed to contain all the rhythm in the world. He watched the bouncy steps, them tan legs, the billowy hair, and that damn grin. She took her order, thanked the barista and walked back to her guy. Again with the smiling and touching and looking at him with those... those... those melting eyes. A fool could tell she was smitten with the bastard (lucky bastard). Nevada saw them walk out of the place holding hands. When was the last time a puta had looked at him like that? All goo-goo eyes and smiles. He watched the happy couple cross the street and disappear into the crowd.
La Sonrisa - that's how he liked to think of her. Her happy face was always alive in his memory and he went back to it often, playing it over and over like a movie. What he hadn't expected was to see her again. In his hood at that. Was it truly her though? Gone was the smile, the sexy girly dress, and that look of I'm-the-luckiest-bitch-alive-happiness. She was dumping stuff from a shopping cart into the back of a car. There was a short black chick with her. They put the hood back down and got into the vehicle. Sonrisa looked all pale and unalive. Not dead, but not too alive either. Just... existing.
"Follow that Chevy"
He said to Ruis and got into his own car.
God knew he had enough problems of his own. Sonrisa still worried him. He was weirded out by seeing her like that. She had just the teeth and the mouth for a great smile and she wasn't using them for the divined purpose. And he had to find out why.
"This seat taken?", he asked.
Sonrisa flashed him a quick smile, not at all like her best one.
"No, it's..."
Her mouth hung open as she stared at him. Nevada liked that. He hadn't had that kind of effect on a chica in a while. Maybe on his sluts, but not on a decent four-eyed broad like her.
"Sorry", she closed the book in her hand, "I didn't mean to stare"
He gave her his sexiest smile.
"I don't mind, mamacita"
She nodded, staring still. When she opened the book, he asked her,
"You come here often?"
That got him a laugh. Mm, still nothing like the original one.
"I don't", she grinned, "Do you?"
"If I don't, you can make me"
Sonrisa said,
"I don't mean to insult you and I am flattered but, I'm not really available"
"Fella done you wrong?", he joked.
She smiled,
"The other way around actually"
The balding waiter brought over her pizza.
"Here you go, Annie"
What a homely name. She asked him,
"Are you going to order something or did you just come over to hit on me?"
"Both"
Annie - it actually sounded better than Sonrisa - put a slice of the bigass pepperoni pizza on her plate. She said,
"Like I said, I am not available. I hope you understand"
The more he tried to charm her, the more aloof she became. Nevada lied as a last resort.
"I don't mind being just your friend, chiquita. Thought it would be nice to get to know an uptown girl like you"
"Uptown?", she bit into her pizza, "I grew up in Staten Island and Queens, amigo. Ain't nothing uptown about me"
He smiled as she ate. Woman had a thing for pizza.
"Careful", he cautioned, "You're gonna burn your mouth"
She shook her head,
"You eat pizza for as long as I've been eating, your mouth finds a way around the bite steam"
Whatever the hell bite steam meant. With her clean hand, she introduced herself.
"Annie. You are?"
He took her hand. It was so soft. He could break it in a pinch if he wanted to.
"Nevada"
"Like the state?"
"Like the state"
"Nice", she pushed the pizza towards him, "Have a slice. I'm gonna order some more anyway"
He smiled.
***
They bumped into each other way too often. Annie asked him once if he was stalking her and he said "Maybe". If that creeped her out, she didn't show. She grabbed a bite or had a drink or walked a mile with him everytime they met. Nevada couldn't understand why. Not that she gave him any hint that she liked him or something. For all her easy-going air, Annie was a pretty private person. The only thing she had ever let slip about her personal life was that she'd been in love and broken the guy's heart.
"You break a lot of hearts just lookin' like that, hermosa"
"Come on, Nevada", Annie said, "Aren't we past that?"
"You don't like being called pretty", he said.
"Cause I'm not"
"What did that burro used to call you?"
She revealed with a nostalgic smile,
"Querida"
He raised a brow,
"Latino?"
Annie nodded. Nevada said,
"Still stupid"
"No, he's not"
"For leaving you. I had a woman like you, I'd never let her go"
He meant that. Jesus fucking Christ, he meant that. Walking next to her, his thoughts a blur, Nevada realized something important. He liked Annie. And he knew just how stupid that was.
"I bet you say that to all your girls", she grinned.
He released the breath he had been holding and affected a casual smile.
"You saying you're my girl?"
"You wish"
Shrugging a shoulder, he asked,
"How many girls you think I have?"
"In your business? As many as you would like"
"My business?", he was immediately suspicious, "What do you know of my business?"
"Judging from your leather jackets and gangsta shirts, I know it ain't politics"
"You're saying I'm a hustler"
She nodded. He wondered,
"Why do you stick around then?"
"You come around, I stick around"
"Don't I scare you?"
"Nope"
"Why?"
She looked at him straight and he saw the glint from that stupid coffee shop back in her eyes.
"You look like somebody I used to know"
Nevada scratched his beard, felt the itch for a cigar.
"That's a shame"
Annie looked away and continued to walk by his side.
All of his men and their fucking wives knew - Nevada Ramirez was buying flowers. It was Valentine's Day. Chicks dig that shit, he thought. And if Annie saw how nice he was being, she might finally get over that hijo de puta and bump Nevada to the boyfriend spot. He wasn't that bad. He was actually doing sugar mama a favour. She wasn't getting any younger and she was a big girl - not at all his type. He did look forward to feeling her up and down while she widened those big eyes. Yeah. He wouldn't mind that at all. Maybe if things went well, he could give her a baby. A boy - little Nevada Jr. When Senior came home at night, Annie would be sitting on the bed, breastfeeding their youngest baby. He would grab her by the hair and kiss her on the mouth. If she wanted gentle, he could do that. Then he would say something funny, and she would laugh and look at him like the sun rose outta his ass. Wouldn't that be nice?
"Para ti"
He held the flowers before her eyes. Annie had gotten used to him ambushing her at the pizzeria, but this was different. She looked at the flowers like they were cactus. Her voice was one cold whisper.
"You brought me flowers"
"It's Valentine's Day", he slid into the booth, sitting across her, "Figured you like this shit"
Never had he seen her like that. Afraid. Of him? Of flowers? It actually turned him on.
"Raf...", she stopped herself.
Nevada's smile disappeared as she put the bouquet on the table.
"I can't. I am so sorry. But I told you I am not ready for a relationship, or a fling, whatever you have in mind. I am sorry"
"You don't like the flowers?"
She shook her head,
"They are beautiful. But I can't do this to you anymore. It's not fair. Just because you look like him..."
His hand curled into a fist on the table.
"We can't meet anymore. It's not fair to you. I'm so sorry"
Before he could tell her exactly what he thought of her guilty little face, Annie stood up to leave. He said,
"Sit the fuck down. I'm not done with..."
The windowpane shattered into pieces. In a hail of broken glass, he saw Annie stagger back a little. His men stormed the place. Annie looked at him aghast, blood dripping out of the bullet hole in her gut.
"No!"
One of his men yelled at him to get down. But the next shot missed him by inches. He sunk to the floor with her in his arms.
"Boss, you okay?"
"Get-get the ambulance", he said to his man.
Annie kept looking at him with the pain in her eyes.
Private ambulance, private 'hospital'. Dr. Garcia took care of Annie in the warehouse. Nevada watched from a few feet away. They had to beg him to let her rest. He wanted to tell her so many things. That he was sorry, that he was going to end the motherfucker who had shot her, that he was gonna make sure nobody ever hurt her again, that he lov...
"Boss?"
They found him about to doze off on the couch.
"She is up"
Nevada nearly ran to her. But she cowered back.
"Stay there. Get away from me!"
"Annie..."
"No!", she said, "Stay away from me"
Dr. Garcia tried to soothe her. She was having none of it.
"I want to go home", she said that over and over again.
Nevada came to her side,
"Hey. Hey, you're safe, dulzura. I promise they won't touch you again. I am going to..."
"Let me go home!"
Blind in his newly discovered affection, he couldn't see just what she wanted to get away from.
"I got you. You're safe. I promise, mi amor"
"No", Annie said, "Nevada, please. Let me go home"
"I am right here. I am going to take care of you"
When he tried to kiss her head, she pushed him away. He warned her,
"Don't be like that"
"Then don't touch me", she said.
Nevada tried to be patient.
"You don't talk to me like that, okay? I am trying to help you. I am gonna take care of you. You got a problem with that?"
Annie said,
"Yes. You"
"Me?", he flinched, "You hit your head or something? I'm being fucking nice. Why are you trying to push me away?"
Annie yelled at him,
"Because you are everything I have been avoiding my whole life! Everything I don't want!"
The next sound that came out of her mouth was a yelp, as Nevada slapped her in the face. Dr. Garcia tried to intervene.
"Perra engreída", Nevada swore.
When he saw the hatred in her eyes, he let go. Annie didn't even blink. She kept glaring at him as Dr. Garcia laid her back in bed. Nevada leaned forward, suddenly wanting to soothe that redness on her cheek. But she turned her face the other way and wouldn't look at him anymore. The last she saw of him was as he stormed out of the warehouse.
It wasn't the last he saw of her though. He loitered outside her doctor pal's clinic. It had been an hour since his men had left her in there. When his patience ran out, Nevada walked in.
"Sir, the doctor is with a patient now. Sir!"
He walked right up to the examination room and stood outside the door. There it was - that smile he had chased after for months. The doc stood next to the examination table and watched the scene unfold. Annie was hugging some guy, weeping and grinning like she had found heaven. Nevada deduced from the fancy suit and her smile who it was. She seemed so happy. It was all he had wanted.
He watched her until he could take it no more. Turning on his feet, Nevada Ramirez walked out of the clinic and out of Annie's life.