Chapter Text
“An’ so that’s how I ended up here. All by maself because ma partner couldn’t handle one weensy mistake on our job. An’ does she listen ta me when I say am sorry? Nae, of course she doesn’t! That would require her ta have some form of a heart—which I can tell ye that bitch doesn’t.”
By Arceus’s will, how much longer will this zoroark prattle on? Rongla gave up listening ages ago when she started talking about some kind of job. He caught words like ‘Guadalo’ and ‘egg’, but otherwise he was tuning her out as she complains about her miserable day—little did she know that she was the current reason his day was so miserable.
The tavern was supposed to be close by now, and he promised he would pick up his Lola and her friends and take them home for their sleepover party. But he can’t do that because the fox has yet to pay her tab, and he needs whatever coin he can squeeze out of mons right now. It has been a rather dry month for his business; few adventures are willing to travel to the mountains during the winter season. But then he looks at the barely touched Rainbow Gummi drink that she asked for and knows that the money is not worth it. He pities the mon that the fox calls partner.
But every time he got close to the idea of throwing the illusionist out, his barman senses would ring through his head like a chimecho’s supersonic. If you were to give her a passing glance, she would seem like an average mon stopping by to complain about her life. Just like every other sad sap who comes into this place.
Maybe I should have been psychiatrist instead.
Though sit with her for a while and you will recognize the tell-tale signs of an experienced adventurer found in the scars that can be seen where the fur is lighter on the body. There was a particularly nasty one that crossed over her left eye. Then there is her… hair? Fur? Fur hair? Whatever it is called that grew from the top of her head, seems to be stylized to have more of those black tipped quill-like features common for that species, which rose wildly from waves of dark red and black that ended in a large red tipped ponytail that almost touched the floor. The short ponytail was held together with a silver clasp that was embedded with small fragments of what used to be a firestone. Along her pointed ears were an assortment of silver piercings that brought the whole punk rock aesthetic together.
“Hellooooo! Mr. barman!” Her voice was starting to grate his brain.
Rongla turns back to the fox, not bothering to fake his usual business grin. “What do you want now?”
The fox let out a chuckle, “What’s with the hostility? Am just tryin ta make a wee bit of conversation. Feel bad spoutin ma life story an’ not hearin anythin from ye.”
Oh, so now she wants to be courteous.
As much as the pangoro wants to ignore the fox and go back to… what was he doing before? He shakes his head furiously to clear the clouds forming in his mind. Doesn’t matter what he was doing before—what matters now is matching the fox by continuing to play the role of the annoyed barkeeper.
“If you’re trying to ask, “How is my day?” I can tell you it’s been better.” Maybe that will be enough of a sign for her not to push further.
Mirth sparkles in her eyes. “Oh? An’ what could be the cause of this unfortunate day? Lovers quarrel? Can’t catch a break because of wee ones? Or could it hev ta do with last-minute late-night patrons?” Her smirk breaks into an unsettling, full-fanged grin when she spoke the last “guess” into existence.
The pangoro grunts in annoyance, causing another chuckle to escape the perceptive fox.
“I guess as much. A’ll get out of yer fur now. Ma lady is probably lookin for me now an’ I don’t want her givin me anymore of her shit tonight.” Rongla felt his heart soar as she sat up from her stool, grabbing some coins from the satchel wrapped around her torso and drops them on the counter. He also catches sight of a strange bulge in the bag, but he was quick to squash his curiosity. One of the first rules of being a barman is to never get involved in things that are none of your business. And if that is not an official rule, then it is now.
The fox turns and gives one last snarky smile while walking away, “By—
The tavern doors burst open letting the frigid winds of the mountain blast inside. What follows through the open doors has Rongla’s bamboo stick dropping from his mouth.
“zzt! Good evening citizens. zzt!”
Floating above the wooden floor was Chief Magnezone, and they were followed by a squad of officers consisting of a magneton and two magnemite. All were flashing red and blue lights from their magnets, tainting the taverns’ cozy charm. The other shoe he has been dreading all night has finally fallen. His daughter will never let him know rest after this.
“Weel, weel, if it’s not ma favorite law-abidin magnet. How hev ye been chief?” Her tone was flippant and posture relaxed.
“zzt! Renzla. We are here to apprehend you and your partner for your various crimes across the world. But mostly for your most recent transgression of stealing Gudalo’s Golden Egg from the Frost Peak Town art exhibition. zzt!”
“Nawwww, I would never do that.” Rongla could practically picture the pointy ear to ear smile. Looking down he took notice of the fox’s claws, which were spread wide and on display. The two magnemite fly over and close the door with a deafening thud, before turning back and flaring electricity between their magnets.
I think I am going to take a vacation for the next few weeks. Wonder if Lola likes beaches?
“zzt! Renzla. Stand down or be forced into submission. This is your one and only warning. zzt!” Their voice grew taught with annoyance.
“Tch! Sorry, but I don’t see that happenin. Got places to be an’ such, but if ye and yer friends move out of ma way then I won’t hev ta embarrass ye…again.”
Rongla steps forward, “Now hang on! Can you guys settle this outside or at another place and time? I too have places to be and a daughter who is waiting for her papa to pick her and her friends up.” He puts his paws together, “So, I would really appreciate it if you guys didn’t start fighting.” He prays to Arceus that the two will heed his request.
The zoroark looks back, “Yer a father?”
The officers gather and release a series of electrical beeps before Chief Magnezone readdresses them. “zzt! Sorry citizen. Your request cannot be carried out. This delinquent in front of you is a master escapist an—
“That’s high praise comin from ye, ma magnetic advisory.” Renzla gave a short bow.
There was a moment of tense silence before Chief Magnezone continues, “zzt! To finish. This creature in front of you cannot be given any room to escape. We will be commencing her arrest now and will use force if necessary. zzt!” Electricity began to charge throughout the room, “zzt! Surrender now. zzt!”
The zoroark’s feet shift, “As I said afore, not happenin.”
Rongla was barley given time to duck behind the counter and dodge the first stray bolt of thunder as chaos unfolds in his tavern. He watches as Renzla charges at the officers who have position themselves tactically in front of the only known exit in the tavern. Both magnemites sat defensively in front of the doors, while Chief Magnezone and the magneton went on the offense.
What Rongla see’s next all but confirms he was right to listen to his instincts regarding the zoroark. The moment she got in range of them; magneton was sent flying across the room smashing into one of his beautiful new tables, due to an up-close blast of focused energy. Seeing the magneton fail to get back up made him understand why Chief Magnezone had brought so much back up for one mon. The leader of the squad flies straight at the illusionist at high speed with electrical energy building up around them, and by the time they make contact with their opponent they are a crackling blur of pure power. The blow sends Renzla reeling back, her clawed feet and arms digging into the wood creating splinters that make Rongla cringe with each crack.
Flakes of electricity dance off her fur causing it to rise a little, “Ye bin gettin stronger Chief! Almost felt that one.” The barman could tell by her slight wincing and heavy breathing that she did in fact feel it.
“zzt! I will give you one more chance. Surrender now and let us end this pointless struggle. zzt!”
The zoroark shook her head and gave a humorous chuckle, “Come on chief. We’ve done this dance so many times. Ye know I weel never come quietly!” She finishes by throwing another blast of focused energy, which Maganezone is barely able to dodge. Rongla thinks his heart leaves his chest as he watches the blast blow a whole straight through his ceiling and heavy snow fall starts to come through.
That’s it! I am going to end this right no—Ahh!
As he begins to stand a stray bolt of lightning slams into his chest, knocking him against the back counter and causing several glasses to fall and shatter. He was slow to get back up; a new pain has been added to his already long list of bodily issues. When he manages to rise, he is greeted with an almost comical sight of Renzla riding atop Chief Magnezone. The Chief is desperately trying to throw the fox off while releasing a series of unintelligible beeps. The magnemites in the back were shooting lighting sporadically in the air trying to hit Renzla, who seems to be having the time of her life.
“Woohooo! What ya gonna do about me now?”
Rongla stares in bewilderment at the fiasco in front of him. But its end came quickly as the zoroark summons energy around both her claws and then delivers a series of lighting fast jabs into the Magnazones body. Every blow sent them downward, and as Renzla drew a claw back ready to deliver the finishing blow a magnemite manages to land an attack. The blow sends her flying off and crashing onto the ground not too far from the counter Rongla was hiding behind.
He watches as she tries to rise to her feet, but then another blast hits her directly in the chest knocking her back down. The smell of singed fur fills the cold air as flecks of electricity dance across her body. She does not attempt to rise again; her limbs seemingly locked in place.
The two magnemite were quick to fly over and under their leader helping the Chief get back into the air. Chief Magnezone’s body was covered in dents, but they seem like they will heal just fine after some rest. Rongla felt he could finally breathe again.
A cold draft rustles his fur and looking up he was met with the tragic sight of where his ceiling was destroyed. The flames of rage ignite once more throughout his body. He finally rose from behind the counter and begins stalking over to his establishment’s assailants. The large pangoro stops in front of them as he hears Chief Magnezone reading the zoroark her rights. Taking a deep breath, he crosses his arms and chews his leaf a little harder as waits for them to be done.
“—And you will remain silent until we reach the nearest Adventurers Guild. There you will be locked away. Without a doubt you will be found guilty. Then you will spend the rest of your life in a reformation facility fulfilling civic duties to better your fellow creatures and yourself. Do you need me to repeat any of this? zzt!”
The zoroark, who was obviously in pain, gave the Chief a sharp tooth smirk. “Gotta hand it ta ya Chief. Ya somehow managed ta make the speech even more borin.” Rongla was about to finally lay his foot down, but then his eyes caught a faint but rapidly pulsating orange glow coming from the stones in the fox’s ponytail clasp. The relief he felt vanishes faster than a zigzagoon.
Rongla steps forward getting Chief Magnazones attention, “Hey, I think you and yo—
A purple glow surrounds the tavern doors before they are ceremoniously blown open once again, and out of the darkness of the snowstorm a ninetales steps through. The officers immediately float up and in front of the down Zoroark electricity already charging between their magnets. The ninetales is not fazed by their aggression; her cold-hearted stares focus was only on Renzla who was attempting to lift her head and look anywhere else.
“zzt! That’s far enough Skylar. Surrender and no harm will come to you. zzt!”
There was no verbal response, but she did stop. Rongla got a good moment to take in this newcomer’s appearance. Most would describe a ninetales as looking elegant or beautiful; Rongla would use some different words to describe the one standing before him. Her fur was groomed into a style that was almost as spindly as the Zoroark’s fur-hair. The long but spikey hair tuft situated between her pierced silver ring ears was dyed with the same orange tips as her nine fluffy tails which sat still behind her betraying nothing of her emotions. There was smudged orange makeup around her eyes yelling that it had been a long day. What really caught Rongla’s eye is the expertly cut gold gem that hung from her neck in a colorful black and red triangle pattern band.
“zzt! You have five seconds to comply or we will use force. zzt!”
The gem on her neck began to pulsate furiously as she continues to look down at the zoroark with heated judgment in her blood red eyes.
“One!”
The heat in the room shifts as Rongla felt the beginnings of moves being charged.
“Two!”
I really need to rethink my career and life choices?
“Three!”
The heat dies slightly as he watches the ninetales smile triumphantly and sit down. Her tails were now waving lazily in the air and the gem stops glowing.
“Fourrrrrr?”
Chief Magnzone sounds just as confused as Rongla felt, but then he feels a shift of heat come from his left and before he could warn the Chief fire blasts forth from the open maw of a now standing Renzla—electricity still dancing across her fur. The flames are thrown forth like a wave at a beaches shore and consumes all three officers and Skylar. When she finishes her attack the zoroark collapses to the floor again, the paralysis still affecting her. Rongla once more was reeling in horror at his now scorched wooden floors on which lies the knocked-out forms of Chief Maganezone and the two magnemite. Skylar on the other hand was practically glowing as she stalks forward with a furious glint in her eye—the gem on her neck once again pulsating violently, which the zoroark’s stone embedded clasp seems to respond too with similar glowing pulsations.
Renzla attempts to placate her partner, but her voice was shaking either from the electricity or fear and made it hard for words to come together. “He-y-y Skylar please listen; I di-di-didn’t mean to— owowowow! Ya asshole! Stop pullin! Stop pullin!”
Skylar was biting down hard into the zoroark’s ponytail and begins to drag her out into the snowstorm. Rongla could only watch in bewilderment as Renzla yells a series of expletives at Skylar who proceeds to tug harder, eliciting even more shouting. As they disappear into the raging storm and leave his tavern a wreck, the pangoro could only hope that he never sees those foxes again.
Looking around Rongla could only wonder why he and his tavern deserved such punishment on this night. As he walks past the unconscious forms of the officers, his foot connects with something hard causing him to fall flat on his face. He stays like that for a few moments in hopes the ground would swallow him. Turning over and lifting his head, his eyes catch sight of the zoroark’s satchel on floor. He rises to sit on the floor and then drags the satchel over to him, and finds it too be surprisingly hefty.
“What is in this thing?”
When he opens the bag, he finds his eyes growing moist from the sheer beauty of the object in front of him. Inside was the largest and most beautiful golden egg he’d ever seen. It was also the only golden egg he’d ever seen.
He doesn’t know how long he stares at the egg, but as he holds it in his paws he could tell it was actual gold which made his mind melt at all the possibilities that he now held in front of him. His fantasies were eventually interrupted by groggy beeps as Chief Magnezone rises from the depths of unconsciousness. A thought flickers to life, and he looks triumphantly down at the egg.
A good barman does the right thing. An even better barman does the right thing and profits from it. And by Arceus’s blessing, I am damn good barman.
Lola will have to wait a little while longer for her dad to pick her up.
Bonus Skit:
Skylar burst into the room looking for Renzla.
Renzla on the piano playing her her heart out to Freya Ridings "Weekends", "I don't really 'ave friends! Don't go out on weekends! I don't 'ave a lover left at hold!"
I'm right fucking here!"
"Ahhhhh!"